She faded into the shadows
        of the love
             she wished she could forget
She solemnly swore
        to drown herself
               in the memory of her regret
Her eyes burned at the sight
         of the lost love
             she'd erased years ago
Her thoughts wondered
         and traveled to places
               she never meant to go
Life attacked her before
         she was even ready
                to feel the pain
Love forced her into the storm
         before she'd even
                 experienced **the rain

There's no satisfaction
In the pain
That courses through me
There's no enjoyment
In the happiness
That in your eyes
I can see
There's no love
In my heart
That breaks daily
There's no one
In my life
That I can see
There's no hope
In my future
That will show mercy
There's nothing
Left in this world
That can make me **happy

Something that stands out so completely;* Resilience, is not so very discreetly kept locked away from the planets you shine on, to their envy. ~~ *Frank Ruland

Yes, I shine
I smile
I carry on through the days
But my light gets dimmer
Each passing moment
With nothing to shine on
I simply fill darkness with light
I don't bring anything
Those planets that envy?
They're crazy...
I shoot past,
The speed of light
(really fast)
What is there to be jealous of?
My speed...
My strength...
My bright, shining glow...
That may be so,
But what are all these things worth
If I have to do it all alone?



Absolutely Nothing

I let myself hope
And of all the guys
In my past
You were and still are
The nicest, the sweetest
And up until this moment
I thought I'd finally
Fallen for someone
Who wouldn't ever hurt me
But I guess that's what I get
For dreaming
For hoping
I think I'm done with that now
Once, twice.. coincidence
Three times...
It's common sense
It's me, not you

and in place of the love
        that once filled my heart
there is now only glass shards
        tearing my insides apart

and in place of the good
         that once was seen in my eyes
there is now only hatred
          fueling my demise

and in place of the innocence
          that once filled my soul
there is now only memories
         capturing me like a black hole

and in place of the happiness
         that once filled my core
there is now only sadness
        stealing my life forevermore


**brokenness can't be fixed,  
     it's not like it was
             before

There's an aching in my bones for where that feeling they call home used to be but now it's only in my dreams.
My emotions keeps grinding away at my soul, telling me where to go and who to be.
But that's not me and this dream isn't my reality.
As far fetched as my hopes may seem to be, to me they are the reality supressing these nightmares that everyone else calls dreams.

Keep hoping for a new tomorrow to change my ways, but the days drag on, always the same.
Not knowing where the truth lies, disguised as a ride that takes you high enough to never feel it when the lie dies.
Staring pain in the face, wasting days swept under a carpet of disgrace, eyes staring back screaming with disdain.
Forgetting myself more with every breath, failing every test and silently waiting for death.

I told you all some truths about me
                To be honest,
It was kinda sickening
        Completely disconcerting
I'm not sure I like opening up like that
          They were only ten words each
And most of you probably didn't understand their
          deeper meanings
      But to me,
They were everything
            All the little parts of me
That I truly don't like admitting
So, I've decided I'm done with
             the truth
At least for a little while
    It's time for some
        Pretty Little Lies
       A few to make you smile
And a few to make you cry
           Since everyone else can tell me
                  so many lies
Well, now it's my turn.

You don't really wanna know the truth,
Do you?
I'm scared of what you might see,
Or that you just won't believe...
I think I'll try this new thing called
Honesty
Granted, it's not really new to me
I'm all for telling everyone else the truth
But I need to be honest with myself
There's just certain things I don't wanna believe
If everyone else can see,
Then I'm really gonna try for you
I guess what they say is true...
"The Truth Will Set You Free"

It's not you
    I promise
What I say is true
      He never deserved
           You

     It's not your fault
           I know for a fact
      Trust me
             You are better
          Than a boy like that

It's for the best
       Please,
    Believe me
          He'll do it to the next girl
       And the next
            And next
      You'll find your one
          In this world

        It's time to breathe
             Have faith in what
          I'm saying to you
      This might just be
                Poetry
          But I was cheated on too

It's time to believe
      You're worth more than
   You can see
           No more tears, please
      He's not worth your pain
             You're gorgeous
       And you're NOT to blame

     It's for the best,
              It's not you
          Please,
    Just Breathe.
          Believe me,
  Cause I've made it through.
         I know,
      What I say is true.
             Cause
         **I was cheated on too.

You love them
With all your heart and soul
Yet, you can't be with them
But you'll never let them go...
And it hurts...
Trust me, I know...
People... Stay strong
Someone better may come along
You're thinking..
"But, they're the one I want"
I've thought this too,
Still do...
"Unrequited Love: Life's way of saying you can do better"
But, even if you never end up together
You can still be there for each other
Sometimes, love can be one sided
Don't let that divide you
If you love someone for selfish reasons
Then you love them not at all
Cause when they don't return the love,
A true love will be there to catch them when they fall
Will care, laugh and respect every wish
Will listen after every date, hit or miss
Will wipe away the tears
And brush off the knees
Stick around through the best and worst years
Be a shoulder, when they need somewhere to lean
They may never love you back
Even when you know they should
Love's not meant to be selfish
It's about doing what's right and good

The reflection in your eyes
Like a mirror to my lost soul
The depths truly astound me
Nowhere to go
But deep into your poetry
Where I can feel your misery
The beginning of your love
The mask you hide behind
But OH!
The beauty I can find
Within your words so clearly defined
Much love, hurt, pain and sadness
We are one of a kind
Filled with joy and madness
Your flows speak to me
Your rhymes tell me your story
With each stanza the truth is revealed
How you feel
And the pain you hide
I want to see what's behind
The mask covering your eyes
The truth of your disguise
Your words told me your story
Now I wanna see the face of that poetry





******, you look beautiful to me

Ravaging through me
    is an untold destiny
I cannot foresee
      what's gonna happen
But I know what I need
       I need love
It keeps escaping me
            I'm lonely
   I cry constantly
I can't write anything
        Cause I can feel my soul breaking
    I've lost everything
      my heart keeps breaking
I really don't want any pity
   I'm truly not deserving
but my God does this hurt like hell
      I'd just like for one good thing
to happen to me
        SOMETHING
ANYTHING
cause I can't handle losing
    One more thing
   everything I care about
has been stolen from me
     a string of bad luck
Doesn't even begin to describe
   the agony that surrounds me
I'm desperate for something
      GOOD.... PLEASE
I'm asking Fate
    the Universe
Karma
        God
Mother Nature
     Anyone Please
Whoever is making my life filled
      with misery
I'm begging you
          PLEASE
   I can't handle anymore
You've officially brought me
       to my knees
I've cast my pride aside
        all dignity has left
I'm BEGGING
      PLEADING
        Please
Just finally let me be happy



I think I've forgotten
     what happiness feels like

This misery
Is completely consuming me
Torturing me
How can I fight this?
Can I even win this game?
Help to make my mind tame
Fulfill the righteousness
Leave behind the pettiness
But I cannot believe in happiness
When the only hearts that complete mine
Have been ripped from my arms
Placed into uncomparible harm
For an unknown length of time
The three black holes in my chest,
Where only they can be placed
Feels like they can never be refilled
And can certainly never be replaced
My life, my world, my everything
Unseen to my lost eyes
Torn right away from me
So cruelly, terribly, all to torture me
Well, it's working
I'm tortured, I'm broken, I'm burnt down
I can't give up, they will be found
I want to stay strong, I need to be brave
But this battle has become my warery grave

Silence obliterates the mind
Frees those trapped inside
Sing a little tune
Fly me to the moon
Kidnapping the demons isn't a crime

Aimed expressions of love or hate
Feelings mutual or not are still great
Don't say my name
This isn't a game
I learned the rules a little too late

Time after time again I fail
Missing the hammer with a nail
Yet I cannot cry
And I will not die
I still have to tell my fearsome tale

Starting with rage, ending with peace
It's not a long story in the least
I learned a way
To live through the pain
And hide the mind of my inner beast

I see your face through the window pane
    the glass is cracked
and your image is blurred.
Even from this distance, I see your pain
  and I wonder if my tears my heard.
This window frame surrounds my dreams,
    the pane conceals my pain.
It seems as if the seams around this glass
      get stronger everyday.
Keeping me away from the one thing
      that makes my life worth living.
          You on the outside,  
Staring at me on the inside.
    Reaching through this foggy view,
It's hard to see,  it hurts to know
       we can't reach our destiny.

I'm trapped in here, you're trapped out there.
It's clear to us that fate don't care.
I'm trapped by these walls and you can't get in.
Unfortunately, I can see my destiny,
      but we can't begin.

You've tried to break through,
    I've tried to break out.
I scream your name,
    but you can't hear a sound.
You can see these tears streaming down,
I see you fall to the ground and reach for me
     but I'm nowhere around.
This pain is so real, the pain is too thick.
I write your name out in the fog
        as you stand there in the mist.
I need you in here, I crave your touch.
   All this pain,
       It's just TOO MUCH!

I'm trapped in here, you're trapped out there.
It's clear to us that fate don't care.
I'm trapped by these walls and you can't get in.
Unfortunately, I can see my destiny,
      but we can't begin.

I can't take this, not one more day,
our love is too strong, there must be a way.
So, we're standing here, face to face,
    eyes locked through the window pane.
You raise your hands up to mine
   and we smash that glass one last time.
Slowly, it starts to splinter down
and all the shards fall to the ground.

Now, we're trapped together,
    In each other's arms.
Trapped forever, away from harm.
Trapped in love for all time,
    Trapped in love within our hearts.
Fortunately, I've found my destiny,
      Now we can start.

Sometimes

       All of this

           Sanity

   Just makes

            Me

       Go **Insane

Arguing*
     with me

Is like
        Arguing

With a
      **BRICK
       WALL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  Remembering
The
      Beginning
              Is
      Necessary
         To
             Heal
       From
                  The
       Ending
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Literally,

I've only

Seen one

Other human*

In

Two months.

Thank God*

        For

     *Humility,

             without
                    it

            I would
        be

             Proud.

I realize

       Now

    You're

The Reason

        I've

     Been

  *Holding
          Back

I'm
     NEVER
  Gonna
          Allow

    Men
           To
      Put

              Me
     D
         O
           W
         N

*Again

I'm
   Faster
      Than
         I
            Look,
               But
                  I'm
                     Not
                        So
                           Bold.

Night drifts into a sun filled day
Memories fade but never go away

Seeds blossom into the most beautiful flowers
Minds remember only sadness in the darkest hours

Oceans crash into the shores as waves
Tears are fueled by hearts set ablaze

Boys become men and girls become women
A soul must break before it can begin

Sun turns to dusk at the start of every night
Everything must go wrong before it becomes right

I love you
             The way
       the sun
Loves
          the moon

Never together

       At a distance

              Always and *forever

This uncertainty
How you feel for me
Honestly, I'm dying inside
It's not right
So now I write and write
And listen to you talk,
About her, about it all,
And it pains me to hear it
About all the crazy *******
But I'm here,  I'll hear anything
Selflessly listening
Being the shoulder, the rock in which you lean
And it remains to be seen
Which direction in life you'll take
Just keep in mind, no matter the road you find yourself on,  
In my eyes you'll never be gone,
There will always be a shortcut, an easy path back
Just get up,  brush yourself off
Take the first few steps in my direction,  
When you get close enough,  
The shadow in the distance will show true perfection

I woke up a villian from my worst nightmare
Too scared to defend those that really matter
Seeing the heroes of the story
And watching all their dreams shatter
Weaponless against the clock
That just keeps ticking
If time is all that really matters
Then why am I still breathing?
I can't control the emotionless toll it takes on my mind
I'll never be brave enough to try and turn back time
It ticks a little faster whenever I'm running late
And slows down completely when I try to test fate
On a date with the mastermind behind all my evil plans
He's death incarnate but still proud of my artistic scams
And yet I find myself feeling ashamed of who I am

Things are so much clearer
I can see right on through
All the misconceptions
And false truths
I know now life will be good
I know now, everything I should
Like I can love myself
And just focus on me
Feels so good not to care
About someone undeserving
Cause I got so much to give
And someone out there
Will truly understand
How much I can care
How much love I have
And the devotion I can share
Cause I'm amazing
And he knew it was true
But unfortunately for him
*He holds no more value

I never thought I'd believe in fate
     until I met you
I never thought I'd believe in 'happily everafter'
     until I held you
I never thought I'd believe in true love
     until I kissed you
I never thought I'd believe in 'the one'
     until the day you asked me to marry you
I never really thought I'd believe in anything
     **until you

The memory is a precious thing
   Of what truths it can bring?

I remember being young
And hating the waiting to be old
Remembering the grown ups
   And the stories they told
Of being young, wild and free
I don't think that was ever me
  I grew up fast with an alcoholic dad
Always scared of making him mad
   He was tall and strong
Couldn't ever be wrong
But you see...
The
       value
              of
                   this
                          memory....

     Is that it's simply a reminder
Because it's no longer true
    He worked really hard
And pulled himself through
He's still very tall and strong
      But admits when he is wrong
He truly loves and deeply cares
    See why I value this memory?
Why it means so much to me?
It proves the
                 truth
                         will
                                set
                                     you
                                            free..

Words with ink
         Have not gotten me far
    They may have
            touched souls
   But they've left
              on my heart
      An unshakable scar
                 Cut up
            and bruised
A flaming meteoroid
       Calling itself a
    shooting star
Yet nothing more
     Than a
        disinegrating rock
Falling too far
         These
     words I rhyme
Simply show my only value
              Through this
I know
          where you are
      Falling from space
Into nothingness
            My shooting star
     Finally a remedy
           Healing
     the brokenness
               Of a
            love from afar


                  it


           **FADES

Secrets
Hidden within your own
Mind's eye
Truths
Yet more often than not
Debilitating lies
Moments
Some, much needed to be forgotten
Others, cherished
Memories**
So many stored so deep within
Others have been banished
Faces
Too many to tell their names apart
Wishing some to vanish

Yet all these things can tear at your heart
Some make you stronger
A fighter
Wiser

It just depends where you start

He says, "you're my best friend"
And kisses her lightly on the cheek
She truly just can't help herself
But her knees collapse as they go weak
He catches her before she hits the ground
His face grows worried and he asks if she's alright
She just stares into his eyes, not making a sound
She can't help but notice how his hands feel so right
Leaning into him, she heaves a heavy sigh
Thinking to herself, "why oh why?"
Suddenly, sparks light up his eyes
Like lightning, he finally realized
She is his rock, where he can constantly lean
When he's feeling weak
His strength and shelter through the storms
This beautiful Angel, sent to keep his heart warm
Suddenly, her mouth is on his
A first and most joyous kiss
He knows now, she's wanted this all along
She folds herself in his arms, finding comfort where she belongs
He pulls back and softly whispers in her ear
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She stares lovingly into his eyes, deep into his soul
*"I never thought you'd believe."

The time of night, mid
   It was dark
          She was drunk
The ***** was cheap
   She'd fallen into a nightmare
            Of her own dreams
        And she was in way too deep
Death was at her doorstep
    And the promises she made
             She could no longer keep
   She weeped into the bottle
Then drank some more
       Time was of the essence
    Yet, the past came back to haunt her
            Just like before
      Too much to handle
For their sake
          She handles it everyday
     "Resilience" they say
  But she's a fake
          Weak and ashamed
     How did she get this way?
Those ghosts of memories that
          never faded away
  On that night
     She lost complete control
              And the roses
Were dead and rotting
          Just like her *soul

I don't usually do this (status updates instead of poetry) but I'm really in the mood to flex my creative muscles and share ideas and concepts with my fellow poets here on HP. I love collaborating. I would like to use kik or fb messenger since it an easier means of  communication for me. My kik is hottymelly25 and my facebook is Melanie Wilson (TGWLY).

Also, we have a thriving group of poets chatting together on kik. We're just a small group of poets who have met on here or on Poets Corner (another poetry app we like to use a lot) and we talk about life, poetry, what we made for breakfast, the importance of the decoy vaginas that ducks have to prevent **** and everything in between. It's quite entertaining and we're kinda like a family. If you're interested in joining us, just message me. :) 16+ only please.

Thank you for reading. ❤

Break me, break me
Tear me down
Hurt me, hurt me
Rip me up good
Just like I knew
You always would
Cut me, cut me
Watch me bleed
Pour salt in my wounds
Pretty please
Make it sting
Don't stop, don't stop
Get in there deep
Rub it in
Watch me bleed
Slice me, slice me
Split my heart open wide
You know all the painful ways
Most of which
You've already tried
No use in begging
I've tried to plead
No use, no use
Might as well
Just watch me bleed
Break this mirror
If you must
Use the glass shards
To cut me more
Crack me, crack me
If you please
But without the mirror
How could you
**Watch me bleed?

There's much more to life than what you want and need
There's others out there with more important needs
But life is full of selfish people ignoring the pain
Or so it seems
All people can see is what THEY have to gain
Look at life beyond whats only in YOUR mind
Think about the hurt of others and what they find
Inside yourself is something much more than you can see
All you need to do is put aside what's in your own world
And think outside the box to whats outside the things you believe

Thoughts
           Mingling
Brain
           Tingling
Disturbance
           in
             the
                force

          *Who cares?

You were
      One
I was
         two
Now I'm the
         *third

I remember the you
That you used to be
Do you remember who
I was when I was me?
I forgot the truth
Of when you were true
I forget even more
Like when I was too

Do you remember?
That one late night?
You said you loved me
And it felt so right.
I believed you
Thought it couldn't be better
Then just you and me
In love and lust together
But you lied
I still don't know why
Then I cried
And you said goodbye

That was really me
The me that was with you
Now I'm damaged
I'm not sure what to do

That wasn't the real you
Not the man I knew
He wouldn't have left me broken
He was honest and true
What happened to you?

The truth?
You probably don't even know
You've always been confused
You don't even realize
**What happened to you....