This might be paranoia
Please tell me that I’m wrong
But 27 days
Is already far too long
I told you that I loved you
You said you loved me more
We smile through our sutured eyes
And then you shut the door
I thought that I would lose again
You told me you would stay
Used to always be around
But now you’ve walked away
Now and then, you stop to talk
Enough to keep me on
But not so much to make me think
You’re not already gone.

I can’t do this anymore
Walk away and shut that door
Constriction’s my conviction, I’m on a stage
Act the part and turn the page
Too stuck, under fumbling fingers I lay
Eyes to heaven, loudly pray
Send me an angel, send me a line
Grasping the truth, not another “I’m fine”
So I shrink away; I hide in fear
My shadow sheds her silver tears
I bleed these words on my bedroom floor,
For I can’t do this anymore.

Blazing life sets my soul on fire
All white clouds and green meadows
I can’t help but stare now
I haven’t a care now
And darling, we can breathe, finally
Set myself lose, run me dizzy
Let me live and let me die
Here I stay, forget me not
While I grasp tightly to this sweet lie.

Maybe it takes someone stronger
Machine guns equipped with a smile
Still, I ride on the wings of the littlest things
To try to forget for a while

Wretched voice
Boxed so thin
Rubbed-raw noise
Sandpaper skin
Beaten crest
Lasts for years
Naked nest
November tears
The season’s stall
Before the laughs
The worst of all
The ugly path
A sun burned green
I waste away
While they all wait
For bright Friday.

If only my words were worth more, I wouldn’t bleed
A little good company, that’s all I need
Pick up the Word and I make it my creed
But it wasn’t my script I was supposed to heed
I’m trying to move on, find a person, find a friend
Not someone who would run, but who would stick it to the end
I swear I’ll just break if I keep trying to bend
I still don’t know if I’m truly on the mend
Then, I guess I’ll just tend my wounds
Speak to the truth, I ain’t looking for a golden boon
Ask for my name, everyone’s like, “Lynni who?”
I’m learning while I’m yearning for a talking-to, that’s the truth

In growth we hurt, our spirits bruised
Oftentimes we feel misused
We cling to wisps of better times
They fade away, we cry our rhymes
Innocence is what we plead
To run from our maturity.

Semi-conscious obscurity
Synergy redacted
I felt the breeze whip through me
Blew me away, consumed me
Threw me into a frenzy
Friends and enemies, come end me
Lend me a hand, come talk if you can
And understand, this ain’t my Promised Land
You’re fantasy, not family
And finally, band together,
Forever, we fight these nights
The light’s too bright, read me my rights
If I’m right, nobody accepts me, except me
Respect me, respectfully I bow before the monarchy
Mon ami, are you there?
Say a prayer
If you dare
Tell me where, and watch me fade away...

Writing is my only hope
The pen’s blood-ink, it stains my throat
There’s no one there to fawn or dote
Surrounded by my poison moat
Isolated by the fray
Shackled wrists, I’m locked away
They stick around for just a day
Then turn and leave me where I lay
Draining; all I do is try
Sinking as they pass me by
Sometimes you just have to cry
But tears won’t come—I wonder why
My words are all I’ve got and less
For looks alone don’t pass the test
Hot, I’m not, just a hot mess
They like me, but don’t like me best

Please listen to me now
Can’t you try to hear?
Instead you just block out my sound
Stick your fingers in your ears
Singing, “la la la”
While I crescendo to a shout
In your head I’m just a whisper
In my ears I’m screaming out
Begging please, please, spare a moment
And perhaps I waste my breath
All I wanted was attention
Not to fight you to the death
So listen to my voice
And maybe you might see
Beneath the smile and poise,
The person that is me.

Maybe that’s the
Point of all these
Stars as they fall
Louder than me
Even in death
Together they bleed
We all die the same
But they’re better than me.

ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵃᶰ ᶤᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᶤʳʳᵒʳ
ᶤ ᶳᵉᵉ ʰᶤᵐ ᶳᵒ ᶜˡᵉᵃʳ
ᵇᵘᵗ ʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵉᶳᶰ’ᵗ ᶳᵉᵉ ᵐᵉ
ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘᶳᵉ ᶰᵒᵇᵒᵈʸ ᵈᵒᵉᶳˑ
ᵐʸ ᶳᶤᵈᵉ ʲᵘᶳᵗ ˡᶤᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵇᵉˡˡ
ʰᶤᶳ ᶜʳᵃᶜᵏᵉᵈ ᵃᶳ ᶤᵗ ᶠᵉˡˡ
ᵃᶰᵈ ʰᵉ’ᶳ ᵗᵘʳᶰᵉᵈ ᵃᶰʸʷᵃʸ
ᶳᵒ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒᵉᶳ ᶤᵗ ᵐᵃᵗᵗᵉʳˀ
ʷʰʸ ᵈᵒ ᴵ ᶜᵃʳᵉ
ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉᶳᵉ ᵗʰᶤᶰ ᶳᵗʳᶤᶰᵍᶳ ʷᵉ ᶳʰᵃʳᵉˀ
ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᶤᶰᵏ ᴵ’ᵐ ʲᵒᵏᶤᶰᵍ
ᶤ ᵍᵘᵉᶳᶳ ʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵉᶳ ᵗᵒᵒˑ
ᵃ ᶳᵐᶤˡᵉ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵃ ˡᶤᵉ
ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵒᵘʳ ᵗᵉᵉᵗʰ ᵃᶳ ʷᵉ ᶳᶤᵍʰ
ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ᶤᶰ ᵒᵘʳ ᵉʸᵉ
ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ᶳ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ᶳ ᵗʰᵉ ᶳᵃᵐᵉˑ
ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ’ᶳ ᶳᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶤᶰᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʰᶤᵐ
ᶤ ᶜᵃᶰ’ᵗ ᶠᶤᶰᵈ ʷᶤᵗʰᵒᵘᵗ ʰᶤᵐ
ʰᵉ ʰᵃᶳ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᵈᵒᶰ’ᵗ
ᶳᵒ ʷʰʸ’ᶳ ʰᵉ ˡᶤᵏᵉ ᵐᵉˀ
ᵒᶰᶜᵉ ᶠᶤᵉʳʸ ᶰᶤᶜᵉ
ᶰᵒʷ ᶜᵒˡᵈᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃᶰ ᶤᶜᵉ
ᶤ ᵍᵘᵉᶳᶳ ʰᵉ ʲᵘᶳᵗ ᶳᵃʷ ᵐᵉ
ᵃᶰᵈ ʰᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᶤᵗ ᵗᵒᵒ
ᶤ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵈᵒ ᵗʳʸ
ᶤ ʲᵘᶳᵗ ʷᵃᶰᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵏᶰᵒʷ ʷʰʸ
‘ᶜᵃᵘᶳᵉ ᶤᵗ’ᶳ ᵇᶤᵍᵍᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃᶰ ʰᶤᵐ
ᵃᶰᵈ ᶤ ᶠᵉᵃʳ ᶤ ᵐᶤᵍʰᵗ ᵈʳᵒʷᶰ
ʰᵉ’ᶳ ᵍᵒᵗ ᶳᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶤᶰᵍ ᶤ ˡᵃᶜᵏ
“ᵇʳᶤᶰᵍ ᶤᵗ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ˒ ᵇʳᶤᶰᵍ ᶤᵗ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ”
ᵖˡᵉᵃᶳᵉ ᵈᵒᶰ’ᵗ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᶤᶳ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵐᵉ
ᶤ ᵍᵘᵉᶳᶳ ᶤ’ˡˡ ʲᵘᶳᵗ ᵍᵒ⁻

Eight is the number we share in years
A quiet plea, she hardly hears
This is where the magic ends
Giggling with her other friends
Eight is the number we share in years
Alone, I’m drowning in my tears.

Seven’s the number we share in years
Strangled gasps fall on deaf ears
Crying out and brushed aside
You can’t run and you can’t hide
Seven’s the number we share in years
Crumble, crash, succumb to fear.

Two is the number we share in years
And when I call, she always hears
Through secret codes and hiding places
And wading through this sea of faces
Two is the number we share in years
Together, we will shed no tears.

Five is the number we share in years
I talk out loud, but no one hears
Thinking it’s some kind of game
Left me and they passed the blame
Five is the number we share in years
Friendship isn’t always clear.

Three is the number we share in years
Another joins; she feeds my fears
Duo-plus-one and left behind
Silent smiles—don’t speak your mind!
Three is the number we share in years
Learn to act; exude fake cheer.

I ask you a question in my head
Your memory responds in kind
Neither you nor I can figure out
Why you’re always on my mind
You’re a ghost, a wraith, without a voice
Yet loud and clear I always find
The answer’s balanced on your tongue
But for once you choose not to speak your mind
The secrets hid behind your lips
are what I crave; I wish to find
Why didn’t you hold it all inside?
Why so unafraid to speak your mind?
At least that’s how it used to be
Someday, together, alone, we’ll find
A drop to quench my burning flame:
Why are you always on my mind?

What you read isn’t me
Just the dark side of the girl you see
It’s my lament; a sad decree
Of all I need, all I can’t be

Think what you want but watch what you say
Words can cut and someone’s gotta pay
I’ll write to my right, so if I may,
Let me excuse your reviews; this isn’t news today...

Tell me I’m pretty, tell me I’m kind
Tell me it isn’t my right to unwind
Worry’s in your heart and that’s just fine,
But please don’t let your perceptions change mine—

My words are my sword, my words are my shield
Words are my way of spilling what I can’t reveal
And when I can’t speak, my pen is my tongue
So please don’t say “stop” ‘cause my heart is too young.

through the happy,
through the glad,
when the good things yield their crops,
when life just grins and never stops,
puddles of laughter all around.

through the friendship,
through the love,
through the yellow, orange, and pink,
when God paints the sky with heaven’s ink,
puddles of laughter all around.

jump so high,
nearly fly,
puddles of laughter all around

through the black,
through the bleak,
through dreary days where joy is dead,
through poison thoughts that pound your head,
puddles of laughter all around.

through the sorrow,
through the pain,
through endless grey and silent tears,
through the seven famine years,
puddles of laughter all around.

going down,
run aground,
puddles of laughter all around.
friendship rings,
angels sing,
Laughter soaks through everything.

Strum the strings and spill my soul
Little things; they make me whole
Lovely line,
She said I’m fine,
Never thought of what she stole
Click the keys and tell my tale
Wring my hands and grip the rail
Too tight, not right,
Don’t speak tonight,
Just freeze and hold your crook and flail
Turn it up and make a scene
Steal the crown and say you’re Queen
Can’t erase
Your perfect face
Project your image to the screen
So I grasp my charm like it’s an ax
Used to fend off their attacks
Slashed with words
Still unheard
Now it’s time to face the facts...

These words of mine
They’re all I’ve got
Sometimes so sweet
Sometimes they rot
Don’t talk so much,
But think a lot
These letters are
My battles fought
These words of mine
They’re all I need
They’re food to eat
And red to bleed
Bloom with flowers,
Choke like weeds
They seal my fate
And do my deeds.

“Tick tock,”
calls the clock
Time inches on
and doesn’t stop
And dawn begins
We count by tens
Waiting for our lives to end.

“Tick tock,”
sings the clock
Time tiptoes on
and doesn’t stop
And morning begins
We’re wading in
Waiting for our lives to end.

“Tick tock,”
drawls the clock
Time marches on
and doesn’t stop
And day begins
We fight to win
Waiting for our lives to end.

“Tick tock,”
warns the clock
Time hurries on
and doesn’t stop
And noon begins
We pick up again
Waiting for our lives to end.

“Tick tock,”
whispers the clock
Time races on
and doesn’t stop
And evening begins
We grab our pens
Waiting for our lives to end.

“Tick tock,”
yells the clock
Time still goes on
and never stops
Night has arrived
The day has died
Make way; a new dawn starts to rise.

I have a curious kind of heart
The kind left untouched by all but a kindred spirit
Felt undone and they don’t want to hear it
Synthesize joy but don’t dare go near it
Maybe the breeze thinks I’m flawless
But deep in my mind, it’s a perfect kind of lawless
Take away my thoughts, I’m poor and I’m jobless
But the cycle churns on and I don’t have the guts to stop this
I’m fighting underground, fighting underground
They don’t listen to my sound, listen to my sound
I fear what I can’t hear
If the darkened voice drew near, I’d disappear—
Oh, disappear

You told me you wanted something of mine
Whispered through the wind, intangible
Negotiations from one side
Never to touch; forever to hold
A thousand asked, but thrice replied
Your smiling lies did grow more bold
The second one was left to die
A thousand secrets—priceless, sold

not lived; alive;
your words did thrive,
and fed like rats
on my Untold.

It’s something you can’t clearly see
The way I clutch these to my chest
And something quite so dear to me
Falls like an egg from Mother’s nest
A jewel I never meant to share—
Snatched in the night from cradle warm
It seems you never really cared
Yet never meant to do me harm

satisfied not
you weren’t who i thought
we just drank the joy
of sweet Alarm.

Useless, I swore to use this, but I can’t do this
Turn around, sit down, I’ll tell you if the shoe fits
Rage fits, but I can’t scream
Burning fires in my dreams
It’s going well, or so it seems
But luck can change so fast—I mean,
Are you, are you not on board?
Care to duel? Words are my sword
It’s just too much; I can’t afford
The price of nice behavior toward
These people wearing masks
I’m not a person; I’m a task
If you don’t like me, I’ll just ask
Before I’m lost in the past