Let me sketch you

With words

I will frame

Your body

With descriptions

Of the way

I view you

Ignore all the definitions

The world

Placed on your shoulders

Recreate a language

Using your name

As the beginning

So you can relish

The sound of every letter

Learn to adore

The sound of every vowel

Then maybe your reflection

Will become more within your eyes

fresh starts creep like vines
layering the window sill
the day smells like rain

You ask me
To build you cities
When I only have
Avenues of waterfalls
I wish
These words
Could build you rafts
So you could
Float along the horizon
At the end of the day
Promises are hollow
And we all sink
Like ships

I am a single daisy
lingering in a blue vase
and I hold

the room

Ricochets off night
lost in neon lights and bodies
legend come morning

These days, anxiety pools around feet
And I drown, which means
I wake up randomly gasping
Pulling at the air, searching for a ladder
Flailing in early morning
As if I am trying to fly
I want to fly away or pull the moon down
So I can build sandcastles on its surface
Then move in, taking residency up in the stars
Fear comes in waves, ebbing and flowing
Over my nerves, breaking down sandcastles
Anxiety, a fountain, always overflowing
Seeping into the corners of my eyes
And I cry for a raft in this tumultuous sea

Vowels and consonants

Pool together into words

As my emotions rain down

The grim and grit

Of every memory clings

To each sentence

Until I step in

Then they collect on me

Dampening fingertips

And soaking my tongue

I jump in

Splashing out thoughts

Until I am coated in my imagination

I stomp through

The puddles of letters

Saturating me with words

And sentences are dripping

From my chin

Tears are a signature
Our mouths
Can’t quite sign
For goodbye lingers
In the corner of our eyes
Stumbling down our cheeks
Hands shake for words
To create in an embrace
That will swallow us whole
And for a moment
Feel full, overflowing
Healing
For seconds are fleeting
When goodbye has a home
Upon your tongue

I chiseled out your initials

Into rose petals

And heads of dainty daisies

Filter memories

Into the smooth curve

Of marbles, clinking

Into the bottom

Of the vase, rearrange

The vowels of your name

Into the most beautiful bouquet

And I find myself humming

To the thought of your smile

And it is quite darling

The rumbling in the chest
Grows slowly
Growling louder than the storm
Swirling outside the door
A procellous heart
It thunders, lightning flashes
Behind my eyes
The half finished conversations
Spills into an ocean of unanswered questions
And I am drowning
In the tempest of a broken heart

It takes seconds
For the fire to spread
And it took down
Small towns first
Ripping apart families
Names scattering, fleeing
And we all watch
The media speculated
All the loss history
Displaced heartbeats
And rationalize it
Then it hit cities
Seas of red and orange
Licking and devouring
Neighborhoods
And politicians wanted to blame
Everyone but themselves
When it expanded passed borders
We all went silent
Countries transformed into tattered pages
People swirling around, around
Astronauts said groups looked like storms
Tornados bouncing from land to land
As red slowly spread
Flickering orange
Spreading like a pair of wings
Encompassing the earth

In the evening
Turn off the lights
Slip on my headphones
And I disappear
Into thunderous beats
My feet learn to fly
As I dance around
In the living room

I only dance in the dark
Even on a full dance floor
I find a corner
Tucking myself in shadows
Allowing the beats to spin
Around, around my waist

So at night
I dance
Stomping out my emotions
Tears and rage
Cascading out with each step
Leave my bones aching

And I fall forward
Allowing my tears to escape
In beads of sweat
I only dance in the dark
Letting my emotions ache in bones
And upon bruised palms

Balance
Comes in the morning
Before chaos
Has settled into its afternoon
Routine, I pause
In these moments
Hands open and flat
Slowly breathing, allowing
The light to capture
Me evenly

Bucket list dog-eared
Worn on the edges
And my youth
A scribble
Dancing and twirling around
Wild loops bounding
Off the page
And I sat there
Reading each demand
I had laid out for my future
And now were only questions
Open ended and I had no answers
And this ignorance
Perplexed me
For I once could react
And now I knew I never had the answers
So with a new sheet of paper
I scribbled out my truth
And tried to find my journey
Between the lines

People leave

Little ghosts dangling

And you see the gaps

Muddy footprints and outline bodies

There is a crime

Or maybe I think there is a crime

When a friend

Yanks themselves from your life

And you find yourself

Talking to yourself

Contemplating if they had

Just imaginary

Hushed apology
silent tongues cry loudly
lies are painful sounds

Quite simply
I don’t care
lingering here
I stay, not listening
watching the world fall
I wear apathy nicely
it hangs right upon shoulders
and let the day build up
piling up around me
enjoy a cigarette
as I watch everything decay

the distance between

you and I

is a single word

hovering upon my lips

clings to me

and I grip on to it

hoping it won't slip away

disappear, be forgotten

me with you

I let my fingers

remain in your grasp

for an extra second

hoping I won't slip away

from you

The fusillade of promises
Poured from your mouth
And pooled at my feet
Cold against skin
The sentences broke apart
And they nibbled at my toes
Leaving lies knotted around my ankles
And I watched you
Shifting and squirming under my gaze
You hoped my emotions
Flooded my eyes
So I wouldn’t see the growing ripples around my feet
Vibrations of disappointment rumbled
Until they erupted into the last time
And I walked away
Leaving you with incomplete sentences

My joints dance under my skin
Grating against each other
Until I am aching
The pain howls and clings to my legs
I can feel it swinging and diving along my nerves
Limping, I keep walking forward
And watch as my destination
Becomes farther and farther away
These years hang on me
And I carry the baggage upon my back
Soon, I know I will have to let go
Let every issue fall to the floor
Or they will dig me a grave
And I will slowly drown in the pain

Sputtering out words
I felt the emotion
Collect upon my face
In tiny droplets
Passion and hatred
Streak the same
As they run
Down your face

the sunlight
finds my
face

and I no
longer
can sleep

how rude
is the
sun

to force
me
to wake

a rowdy
child
tugging at me

so I can
come and play
with them

I want to say more
Than your name
Or I think it is your name
It comes out a jumbled mess
A mouth full of scrabble tiles
I spit out words
You tell me I talk too much
Peel myself apart
Exposing my heart
Before appetizers arrive to the table
And you can’t enjoy your salad
With my heart beating
Upon your plate
I try to zip myself back up
It was too late though
All my stories flooded the table
Blabbering the details
Until I could make a nine course meal
From your ridicule

Your smile reminds me
Of mornings with blue skies
And I grip my cup tighter
Pulling it close, as if the steam
Dancing from the edges
Had your form
And I wanted to gather you closer
When mornings are overcast
With storms teasing the clouds
I could almost ignore the rumble
As the sky thunders
And you tell me, I remind you
Of your favorite color
Blue

I am a half full of glass
so I am either
drowning in dreams
or suffocating with fear

swish me around, around
so everything blurs
and I am fishing
to find myself in the jumble

She wore the results of last night’s fight

On her face as badges of honor

Sitting on the curb, she is waiting

Waiting for a ride, an escape

Away from this life

Neatly tucked away in a small corner apartment

The sun beats down upon her back

Rays pounding until her body was sweating

And she wanted to cry

No one to call and nowhere to go

She sits outside a church

Hoping for charity

Thinking she should get some religion

Then at least she could confess her troubles

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt

Knowing she had nowhere to go

Except a curb outside a church

Discarded, like a five year old sofa

Permanently sunken in the middle

Or an old office chair missing a wheel

So always teetered to one side

She slumped forward

Watching the traffic speeding by

Hope lingering on her face

Tucked in the wrinkles around her eyes

Maybe, she needed a sign

With HELP scribbled in big bold black letters

Then maybe she could find something more than this curb

Maybe she could find her escape

Her way out of this cycle

I take the long route home
Twisting and winding
Around the bends
Searching for rainbows
In clear blue skies
I still find you
In the clouds
A safe place for me
And daydreams
As I retell our story
Before I get home

Worth is your weight in gold

shine you up, so sparkle

then throw you into my collection

I need more, so much more

gather up in handfuls, wondering

how much I can sell the human body for?

your only value

is the price tag around your wrist

One shoelace

a few bolts

ticket stubs

a half of a picture

souvenir key chain from Florida

fragments

of him

tiny ghosts

tucked in the corners

so I always find him

never quite

let him go

always reappearing

clinging on to my skin

leaving the residue of his name

I cry these days
When I read positive news
Something shatters in me
And I think it is hope
Apathy has become a bedfellow
An unwanted lover loitering nearby
I feel myself falling apart, alone
My eyes find dark space
Settling there, trying to disappear
My bones grinding into the ground
Until rooted fingers born from their shavings
Grip my lungs, squeezing tighter and tighter
And my life screeches from chapped lips

Minutes, short puffs

hours fade away

and in the mist

I spell your name

you are fleeting

a ghost waltzing

through my hours

I grab at seconds

small beads slipping

between my fingers

I become my own hourglass

holding on to your shadow

and gliding back and forth

within nostalgia

I still felt their hands
Upon my skin
Their names tattooed
Upon my tongue
And my love life
Flash art
Plastered in peripheral gaze
Each man
Holding a tattoo gun, waiting
To tease at my skin
I heard it in the morning
Instead of the birds
My body, a canvas
Possessed by each man
That whispered I love you
In my ear in error

It was the midnight hour

She was running the register

Great smile with a pixie haircut

That is when I noticed

Her history exposed

In tiny cuts

From wrist to elbow

Scars bubbled over her smooth skin

I tried not to look

To read

Her history

In her silence

I knew she had caught me

Peeking

I should have known
That when you wrote
I love you
At the end of the card
It would be fleeting
The ink bled
And the words broke down
As quick as my heart
It all faded in the end
Even your name on my lips

Spin the wheel
Steer toward the horizon
My body, a ship
Sailing for the sunset
The sky finds home in my eyes
And salt teases my tongue
The world is my sea
And I am a land locked creature
That wishes to drown her skin
Within the sea of exploration

Tomorrow lingers on my fingertips

Smudged black ink as I flip through the memories

Hovering over faces and names

That have become foreign to my tongue

I can remember the laughter

Tucked in each crease

Until I am falling within each broken loop and letter

How easy it is to forget

And how much easier it is to remember

Tripping over my shadow

I watch the sun slowly set

Holding the last ray of light close to me

As if I can capture hope

caught upon my lips
sweet tasting this love burns slow
on tip of my tongue

A soft touch, tickle

Itching the back of my throat

Clicking my tongue

And love continues

To try to crawl outside my throat

Pry my lips open

With each jagged vowel

Spill out upon the sidewalk

Leaving me panicking

Watching your face, waiting

For you to hand me

A soliloquy of rejection

Listing the faults with bad timing

And humility takes my hand

Walking me home

Bones ache exhaustion

Things pile up and I crack

Splinter knowing

There is no one there to catch me

I feel myself slipping

Piece by piece

And I would scream

I am drowning

If I thought someone was listening

The night sky

Will be my outline

My dreams will shine

Glisten

Twinkle

Will my words

String them together

Each idea

A constellation

Reach out

Reach out

Allow your fingertips

To tangle

With my sentences

My heart is full

Like the moon

Shine so bright

That some nights

The darkness is consumed

By my light

I allow myself to fall back

Fall

Fall back to the horizon

So I become a paragraph of stars

And your eyes are my audience

My name lingered upon his lips
At midnight, he forgot
To whisper it three times
We had agreed to this arrangement
The clock sang out my farewell
And I fell apart, disassembling
Into a figment of regret

Don’t ask me to thank you
For splintering me apart
Until I am only slivers
To pick your teeth with
Jagged are these words
And I am the one torn
Tape only lasts so long
Then you are falling apart again
So keep your promises
Your actions tell me otherwise

I used to talk to fill up the space

Words tripping, fluttering from my mouth

And I became my own white noise

Felt you always lurking in the hallway

Peeking through the doorway until I slammed

The door, loud crash that would reverberate

Slamming into the walls, I hadn’t always

Been so welcoming to you and you had been patient

While I clumsily stumbled and I pushed you away

Afraid of your embrace, my nerves ****** and jumped

Moth wings my lips, and the words tripping, fluttering

From my lips, and you had always been a light

Flickering, hand out-stretched, your smile invited

I don’t know why I had been afraid

Breath frozen in small puffs

Huddled close

Catching the first snow

Stand in the middle of the parking lot

As if this is something new

You are sleeping alone tonight

I know you will be hurt

Or just lonely

For we seem to fill each other’s time

An outline will be next to you

Maybe you will miss me for once

Looking up into the night sky

Watching snowflakes

Dance, dance

So graceful

Gradually coating my arms and head

Smiling I stand there

Each snowflake a new beginning

Erasing the patterns

I have been caught in for so long

It is time to say goodbye

To this safe lullaby

I once found seaweed
In my hair
And I search for days
For the ocean
As if I will open the door
There will be miles of water
Ricocheting against the door jamb
Every wave whispering hello
But, there was nothing
Only an empty hallway
I rest my hand upon my chest
To find vibration
And when I cover my ears
Close my eyes
I see the ocean in me

A beautiful keepsake

Are the words

I miss you




Hold them

Close

Softly dance

Along fingertips




I can see you

In the outline

Of each word




Lingers

For a second

You name

Upon my tongue




I miss you

Is a sweet moment




Tucked under my pillow

Blanketing my dreams

Your smile

Is always close to me




Fold your memory

Carefully

Hold it in my back pocket

Reading it over and over

In every spare second




A beautiful keepsake

Are the words

I miss you

determination
warms skin and my hands create
awakening me

How do you
Intervene with
A heart
So bound and determined
On self destruction
That rationality
Leaves it with each beat
My heart
Has always been my downfall
Racing into each burning building
Because there was the possibility
Of love on the top floor
How many time do I need
To try to save someone else
Before my heart understands
It needs to save me first

Flickering, you shine within my eyes
Shooting stars, and I grab your hand
So we can fly, you take me to the moon
And show me the world
In the curve of your smile

sunlight captures me
wrapping me in the morning
sleepy happiness