What the hell does that mean?
When does someone become an adult?
When they turn 18? 21?
Or does age even matter?
Maybe it’s more about what someone does.
How much someone accomplishes.
What makes someone an adult?
Moving out of your parents house?
Getting an education?
Losing their virginity?
Having a full time job?
What if I haven’t accomplished any of these?
What does that make me?
All I know is that I’m 25
and still feel like a ******* child.
Bucket list dog-eared
Worn on the edges
And my youth
Dancing and twirling around
Wild loops bounding
Off the page
And I sat there
Reading each demand
I had laid out for my future
And now were only questions
Open ended and I had no answers
And this ignorance
For I once could react
And now I knew I never had the answers
So with a new sheet of paper
I scribbled out my truth
And tried to find my journey
Between the lines
Without father, without mother,
I grew up, running wild and free.
Mountains I conquered, cities I build;
In a strange land, I've now arrived.
Your light was brighter than the sun,
Your hushed whispers, overwhelmed the Sirens.
I'm tempted, I followed and I fell;
In a strange land, I'm now enslaved.
Guilt of lack of sleep
makes me decide to go to bed early,
Guilt of lack of accomplishments
makes me unable to sleep thinking about it,
Guilt of sleeping in and time wasted
makes me put 3 alarms at 6:01 am, 6:02 am, and 6:05 am,
Guilt of my emotions eating me up,
makes me unable to get up even when Im wide awake,
It turns out that guilt is the only thing I accomplish, allow to eat my day up, and yet can't decide on lacking.
As the fifth unknown actor gave their heartfelt speech after winning an award,
She realised that all her efforts to win little trophies at school,
just to stamp her name on something to feel the slightest bit accomplished,
Because who really notices your wins in the end except for yourself?
The realisation that things should only really matter to yourself.
You know life is never easy
to stand up and be strong completely.
You fight battles everyday in your way out
and lose things that you love —
makes you crazy.
You step out in your ground just to break free
but your heart was stuck in your memories.
You think you will never make it
so you give up tryin' to be lonely.
But you know,
you could change it
if you believe that you can —
you can make it.
Be the new version that you wanted,
it's never too late to be the real you.
Noises in Mind, Copyright © 2014
Sam N. de la Rosa
All rights reserved.
It's never too late to be the real you.
In order to be successful does one need to be lonely?
It feels like that sometimes.
When did we start having conversations that
Only consist of complaining?
Why can't we proudly talk of our hard earned accomplishments
And be met with sincere interest?
I love hearing about people's lives! The hardships they've overcome,
The rewards they've worked so hard for.
But when I've finally achieved the dream
That I've worked 8 longs years for,
The lackluster responses I get are:
No questions, because they're not interested
A light-hearted "I'm happy for you", means they really aren't
And a fading friendship because I'm busy making something of
Grateful for the friends I do have, and a supportive partner and family. That's all you really need right? Just venting. <3
“If I didn’t force you to do it you wouldn’t have gotten these medals”
If you didn’t force me to do it I wouldn’t have gotten these medals
“These aren’t accomplishments”
These aren’t accomplishments
“You don’t have any accomplishments”
I don’t have any accomplishments
“If it weren’t for me, you would have nothing”
If it weren’t for you, I would have nothing
“You should thank me”
I should thank you
If you didn’t force me to do it, I wouldn’t have done it
But I did do it
And those medals are mine
I don’t care if 4th place isn’t good enough for you
I don’t care if you don’t think they’re accomplishments
Because I know they are
They are mine
And maybe I should thank you
For making me realize
I don’t need your approval
Maybe I should thank you
For making me realize
I was being brainwashed
To think I’m worthless
Because now I know
on this day,
several years ago
I was expelled from
high school for
possession of alcohol
on school grounds
the bottle was a gift to
a fellow classmate
for doing a
in our English class
the assignment was
to do a poem
here I am
writing a poem about it
you could cut the
irony with a knife
every few leap years
I occasionally run
into my former colleagues
at some local bar or soirée
and they ask who I am
I ask if they remember me
and tell them the school
I attended and what year
I was suppose to graduate
they tell me the same and
have no recollection of who
I am or have never heard of me
and after hearing about all
the great accomplishments
they’ve made for themselves
after high school,
it sounds like they
never existed either.
It seems like it didn’t matter my graduating class graduated or not, they’re doing about the same as me.