“Please be careful with my left ******.”,

her request comes with a clutching of my hair,
and a gentle yet firm pulling of my head,
away from her right breast,
and into the nape of her neck,

“Why?”,

I ask,
innocent enough,
as I settle into,
my repositioned position.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Of course I do,
that’s why I asked.”

“Well, I had a surgery last year,
I had a tumor in my breast,
and had to have a surgery,
it was actually quite risky and I’m lucky to be alive.”

“Oh.”

I reply.

When anyone says anything so intense and so real,
there is only one of two ways to truly respond,
either with an equal amount of intensity,
or with a mellow affirmation of unconditional acceptance,

I accept when,
she offers her Truth,
and I see that she is an old soul,
even though her body’s still in it’s youth,

you,
can judge if you want to,
I’m in my 30’s and she’s 22,
but honestly with Love there are no rules,

when love abruptly finds you,
at the intersection of two soul’s life’s paths,
particularly when the two souls are travelers,
specifically when those two travelers are traveling,
you have two options,
1.) ignore every instinct to embrace each other or,
2.) plunge head first in the type of leap of faith that only love knows,

I choose the latter,
later,
we find ourselves again,
flowing in a whirlpool of pheromones,

where I find myself,
with my hand upon her mouth,
holding her breath,
to the point of panic,

see I’d always found pleasure in pain,
I suppose it’s a form of perverse dominance,
but the truth is anytime anyone feels uncomfortable,
whatever you’re doing is the opposite of what romance is,

anyways,

just as she teeters on the brink of asphyxiation,
she tears my hand away,
not nearly as gently as she’d pulled my head away,
just a few hours earlier in the evening,

soon,
tears swell and break her eyelashed levees,
bathing her cheeks and my shoulders,
in the salty brine of past torments,

the storm went,
on for hours,
her sentiments the storm clouds,
my shoulder the conscious ground on which she showered,

or rather the conscience ground on which she showered,

finally,
I asked her,
why what I had done,
had caused such an effect,
I mean,
I know,
what I did was wrong,
but honestly this many tears I did not expect,

“Please,
tell me,
why so many tears,
is it what happened now or what happened in past years?”

She pauses,
takes a breath,
then continues,
where she’d earlier left,

“When I was ten,
I almost drowned,
my brother threw me in a pool,
I hit my head and became momentarily paralyzed.”,

her pair of eyes,
staring directly into mine,
I saw in that instant,
that as strong as she was/is/will be,
she is still just such a little girl,
so fragile and breakable,
as intelligent as she was/is/will be,
she is still learning and growing and,

I see how wrongly I’ve treated her,
I see how much she’s been through in the past,
and I want to apologize for everything,
I want to take every misguided action back,

she gave me her trust completely,
and I all did was stab her in the back,

and I want to take back every misguided action but I can’t,
because the past has passed,
so instead of trying to go back,
or give her misused excuses I answer the only way I can,

“I’m so sorry.”,

“I apologize,
on behalf of all men,
and I'm not asking for our memories to be forgot,
I'm just asking for our memories to be forgiven,

because memories are tricky things,
and we both have our own versions,
but either way one thing I can say definitely,
is consent isn’t meant to mean yes when it’s said through coercion,

so again I must say I apologize,
on behalf of all men I offer this apology,
I can’t even pretend my actions were justified,
please forgive us for we know not what we did and we’re sorry,

we messed up completely,
I accept that completely,
we deserve to be ridiculed and shamed,
we don't deserve you we lost you when we lost our dignity,

we fck up totally,
we didn’t know what else to do,
but what’s someone to do when they’re as lost as you,
and no this isn’t meant as an excuse it's just the truth,

because we both know that excuses,
just lead to more abuses,
so this not an exercise in excuses this is an honest apology,
this is exactly what the truth is,

and I don’t know what else to say,
other than I’ll never ever repeat those mistakes,
please the only thing worse than getting my heart broken,
is seeing I’m the cause of someone else’s heartbreak,

see we’ve all been through,
too much trauma it’s true,
see we’ve all been ignored and abused,
definitely you and yes even me too,”....

Me.
Too.

See when anyone says anything so intense and so real,
there is only one of two ways to truly respond,
either with an equal amount of intensity,
or with a mellow affirmation of unconditional acceptance,

and,

I.
Am.
So.
Sorry.

I’ve been entirely too rough with her,
subconsciously inflicting her,
with not so subtle hints of,
all the miseries I’ve been through,

she does not deserve this,
I do not deserve this we do not deserve this,
she/I/we deserve to be in love’s service,
not servants to a fake love that’s perverted and hurts us,

she deserves just,
to be treated of course
equally unconditionally,
with delicate care and support,

I deserve,
to be treated of course
equally unconditionally,
with delicate care and support,

I need to be a strong man,
not a scared little boy,
a real man treats females as strong women,
not as weak little toys,

I need to treat her exactly like I strong man should,
and return to feel her gratitude,
see true strength comes from a place of love,
hate is weak love is tough,

and we are tough enough to change our course,

and I apologize because everyone makes mistakes,
but not everyone admits them,
and that is the difference,
between a real man and a fake one,

there's not a single person out there,
that has not messed up,
so if you think someone's perfect,
they aren't they just haven't confessed yet.

You are too real with me,
for me to be fake with you,
and yeah we are all broken,
but help me fix me and I'll help you fix you.

We deserve to be presently in love,
without having to drag any of our past pains into this,
and when I think of how much I hurt you,
it makes me want to take a knife and slash my wrist,
makes my heart plummet and my stomach feels tight,
makes me want to throw myself up out of me I feel so sick,
makes me want to punch myself in the head,
makes me want to swim away never come back and cut off my d!ck,

makes me want to forget,
makes me want to drown out the memories with alcohol,
makes me want to take recreational drugs to try and forget,
because I don’t want to remember or recall,

I just want to cleanse myself of myself,
just fckn want to **** myself I'm so riddled with guilt,
but if I’ve seen my mistakes and am ready to correct them,
then what good is going to come from killing myself?

Because the ones that feel the least guilty,
are usually the ones that’ve caused the greatest crimes,
so instead of choosing death which would solve nothing,
I decide to correct my wrongs and choose life,

I decide to listen more,
to treat all women as Universal Sisters,
which brings me to the next chapter of this story,
where after she admits to me I admit to her,

see she admits,
of her flirt with death,
when she was ten,
and then it’s my turn to admit this,

“My little sister drowned,
when I was 12,
due to my abusive stepfather’s negligence,
she drowned five days before her first birthday.

The wings tattooed on my back,
are in honor of her,
for she is my Guardian Angel,
she keeps Death at my doorstep but does not let Him in,
even though He incessantly knocks,
and one day He’ll get his way,
I never want to hurt you again Love,
and in honor of my little sister that passed away,
and all of the women and girls including you,
I’m changing my ways,
and there’s no better time than now,
so I’m starting right now right here today.”.

Now it is her turn to respond,
still teary-eyed she turns to me and says,
“I’m so sorry,
and thank you.”

“It’s okay my stepdad was a horrible man,
and my little sister is probably better off on the other side,
I’m sure I’ll be seeing her soon anyways,
plus I saw a rainbow above when she died,
and I took the rainbow above when she passed,
as a good omen and a good sign.”,

the tears finally recede,
and the smiles come like rainbows after a hard rain,
see the truth is all this we live is poetry,
see sometimes to feel joy we need to first feel pain,

relating to someone else’s pain is all we really need,
to not feel so bad though it is somewhat sad,
that human experience experiences so much sadness,
and must have such a painfully poetic path.

It is a miracle,
that after all her and I have been through,
after the damage that’s been done to us,
including both of us being sexually abused,
that we are even able to trust at all,
and not just to trust but to love at all,
to let down our walls,
and to feel anything at all,

honestly,
so many have just turned off,
and the fact that we are still on,
and we are in love is a testimony,
to the overcoming power of love,
to the healing power of love,
and to the graces of unconditional acceptance,

I accept her,
and all of her scars,
unconditionally,
and we will work together to build a better tomorrow,

and she accepts me,
and all of my scars,
unconditionally,
and we will work together to build a better tomorrow.

There's a world of hurt out there,
and we all have something to say just need a platform,
so find someone out there that needs some help,
and show them some unconditional support.

The world is not perfect,
and neither are we,
but the world is beautiful,
and so too are we,

so we ride into the future’s unknown,
grateful for the lessons that help us grow,
and we appreciate our moments here together,
because we both know all too well that everybody goes,

so,

find someone to love,
and please be gentle,
and remember to be kind and touch with care,
whether it's the heart the soul or the ******,

let's be kind,
and also be strong,
and let's embrace these moments,
before we're both forever gone...

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

author/poet/human

We walk upon the dock,
skinny dipping swimming in our Moonrise Kingdom,
in the sea we swim with saline skin,
as the Moon rise ascends with Mars patiently waiting,

where are we,
we are in a place many call paradise,
suppose that’s as good of a word for it as anything,
raw rock lobster ceviche no married time just maritime,

mirrored minds,
looking through the Looking Glass,
brewing brines,
the home brewed stew is cooking fast,
there are plenty of fish in the sea,
it’s just up to you to cast,
the only problem with magical moments,
is they are always gone to fast,

basking,
in her stare,
brackish
taste in the air,

Her eyes reflect the light of the Moonrise,
the shine reflects from moon to hair,
and we are both grateful for each other,
because we could be anywhere in the world but we are here,

her eyes reflect the light of the Moonrise,
she is as soft as white sand beaches,
but her shell,
her shell is as hard as stone crab no ceviche,

teach us,
teacher,

show me the Love,
class is always in session,
show me the Light,
show me the truth in your lessons,

blessing,
this world with her touch,
she commands where she goes,
she stands steady when she walks,

which is quite a contrast,
to this sea which sways below this dock,

we dive in,
alive when,
we swim,
within the waters with our bare skin,

bare skin,
under the light of our Moonrise Kingdom,
no where else to be but where we are,
so we’ll be here until Kingdom come…

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

from Hollywood's Heartbeat
available worldwide 7/7/16

Mumok Museum

What am I doing in Vienna,
staring at art as the world burns,
in city I never wanted to go to,
doing things that seem rather uninspiring,

where’s the inspiration gone,
why does everything seem so tiring,
it seems we’re on the verge of a collective mental breakdown,
the system’s short circuiting and could do with some rewiring.

Why does every rags to riches story I know,
end in an overpriced designer outfit all alone?

Why is Consumerism followed like a religion,

we don’t worship Jesus we worship Visa,
good credit better than good morals,
we don’t praise Muhammed in a daze with TV Dramas,
no Buddha just computers no real friends just PayPals,

and maybe that’s why we’d rather be blind than see,
maybe that’s why we hide in museums behind sunglasses,
but would you rather have expense tastes than be free,
because when you’re behind any type of four walls you’re trapped,

where in a Federal Pen with Madoff or a Penthouse with Paris in Paris,
either way we’re victims of our own restrictions trying to buy some more time to be,
but we’re running out of credit the banks are collapsing the recession is relapsing,
so why even try to by when we know not so secretly that only Love will truly set us free,

see,

the best things in life still are free,
and yeah liberation is expensive and self renovations are extensive,
but freedom is priceless,
and it seems that the Love Pyramid is the only pyramid that’s not a ponzi scheme,

because we are all equal even if we’re not all treated equally,
that’s why some have no clothes while others wear designer denim jeans,
but these Diesels are too tight on my thighs and this macabre carnival has no prize,
and I can do anything I want with my life but sometimes all I want to do is breather,

breathe,
breathe because this lifestyle is expensive,
but freedom is priceless,
even though they market it and try to price it,

I just,
want to find a place to relax and release,
all of this,
fck their politics,

fck their programs fck their projects,
fck their agendas dressed in artificial splendor,
fck their treating human beings as objects,
fck their consumerism culture of capitalists,

I just,
don’t know what else to say,
I don’t know why I’m at this museum in Vienna,
hiding on the top floor on a Sunday,

on the 5th floor I just want to give more,
just want to gift these words then make my escape,

just want to be alone,
but also want these words to be known,
but where do you go when you’re tired and over it all,
and you just want to rest but don’t have nor ever had a home,

hello,
could you please pick up the phone,
I’m calling because I still love you,
and I want to come back even though I’m already gone,

on the top floor of the Mumok museum in Vienna,
on the 5th floor to be exact,
and yeah it’s true that I don’t know where I’m going,
but what I do know is I don’t think I’m coming back,

online and off track,
writing more words that rhyme,
then any other living writer,
and that is an actual fact,

and yeah that’s a fact,
but I’m going to follow that with a question,
before I forget,
let me just ask what I am doing in Vienna,

what am I doing in Vienna,
staring at art as the world burns,
in city I never wanted to go to,
doing things that seem rather uninspiring,

where’s the inspiration gone,
why does everything seem so tiring,
it seems we’re on the verge of a collective mental breakdown,
the system’s short circuiting and could do with some rewiring.

Why does every rags to riches story I know,
end in an overpriced designer outfit all alone?

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

What’s up with all these white walls,
and why do they follow me wherever I go,
at the house at the gym,
at the yoga and music studios,

and what’s up with this feeling,
that the bigger the city the lonelier the heart,
see just when you think you’ve reached the finish line,
you realize that actually it’s just the start,

because the bigger the walls are,
the more I feel boxed in,
and I become trapped,
in the four walls I’m lost in,

got in,
around age ten,
now everyone wants a piece,
of what's reaped from the pen,

Nice Win,
that’s what I should call this one,
if you’re already reading this,
I don’t need an introduction,

no other words needed,
except “Congratulations nice win!”,
now what prize would you like,
as a consolation,

“Well Sir.”,
you replied,
that’s tough to decide,
when you’re hi as a star in a good constellation,

and since we’re on the subject of constellations,
what would you call ours,
maybe Big Tripper because Big Dipper’s taken,
I wonder if we could have a Mars,

a Mars as in other planets,
not similar but similar enough to get along,
and speaking of getting along I forgot the subject,
so now I’m Self Edited sulkin’ like Culkin Home Alone,

but don’t trespass,
because I’ve got ***** traps,
if you’re not on the Guest List,
then please don’t pass,

because only thing beyond here,
is white walls that’re real tall,
which gives a feeling of total freedom,
with all windows and no bars,

no bars except these of course,
didn’t mean that last verse as a dis,
to every Bubble Gum Rapper,
and especially to whoever’s at the top of That List,

I wonder what you’d call it,
it as in this,
this life this waking dream,
this moment in time we are all in,

free fallin',
hear the Devil callin',
God too but I'm not ready to move,
so in my body I'm still ballin',

don’t call the enemy Hate,
call the enemy The Darkness of Ignorance,
which is ironic because they say,
the Illuminati is actually the one that offends,

living a fairy tale day dream,
in this story that never ends,
white clouds and white walls,
good times with good friends,

what’s up with all these white walls,
and why do they follow me wherever I go,
at the house at the gym,
at the yoga and music studios,

and what’s up with this feeling,
that the bigger the city the lonelier the heart,
see just when you think you’ve reached the finish line,
you realize that actually it’s just the start...

∆ LaLux ∆

Get The New Book 100% FREE Here:
https://www.scribd.com/document/367036005/The-Sydney-Sessions-12-Steps

NoMakeUp

Chic lookin' like death,
with her dyed platinum blond hair,
her fake silicone **** and all that make up,
over dressed like Halloween **** girl I'm scared,

the less you wear,
the less impressed I am,
you get dressed up just to get messed up,
smoke a cigarette then get your teeth whitened,

you get done up glam,
just to get run up in,

when,
in the world was it ever okay,
to,
disrespect yourself that way?

Getting fckt by strangers,
without getting money or commitments,
that means you're like a *******,
a ******* that's not even good at business,

you're a despicable disgrace,
to the entire female race,
you wear all that cover-up,
because you've got Krocodil face,
that's Krocodil with a 'K',
better get it straight,
the kind from Russia,
that will eat your face,

eat your whole face off,
face it,
the facts are basic,
real women look way better without any fake make-up.

The only reason you need it,
is because you don't see this,

plus you fill your stomach,
with fast food *****,
you're going down in flames,
what was your name Halley Comet?

Saving money on food,
so you can buy cosmetics,
maybe if you changed your diet,
you wouldn't need cosmetics,

there's nothing romantic,
about cosmetics,
cosmetics cause cancer,
don't you get it?

More vegetables,
less processed cheese,
and your face won't look,
like it's got a disease,

please,

remember these words,

real women look better without any make-up,

without all those name brands we're all naked,

believe whatever  you want to,
but these words will still be true...

So stop dying,
your hair to death,
and trying,
to get the guys to stare at your breast,

you are,
so much more beautiful naturally,
and if you,
go natural well actually,
you might find,
a man who loves your mind,
a man that truly loves you,
for who you are inside.

and I promise this,
in all honestness,

no man will ever fall in love,
with a woman because of the size of her breast,
or the color of her hair,
or the brand of her dress,
no real man will ever really care,
whether your outfit is Versace or Guess,

because good men care about the real you,
not fake fashion brand names,
you are not a cow nor are you cattle,
so why would you want a label branding?

And I promise this,
in all honestness,
that this is,
honest honestness.

Real men fall in love with real women,
because of who they really are,
not who they pretend to be,
real men fall in love with real women,
because they love her soul's avatar,
and her divine femininity…

So let your hair grow,
back out to it's natural color,
if you honestly want,
to find a natural lover,

and save your self,
for those special lovers,
that are truly deserving,
of all of your natural wonders,

leave the fake hair,
for the fakers,
leave the toners,
for the loners,
leave the make up and fake dyes,
for the hookers and transvestites,

you,
are beautiful,
without,
the manicured cuticles,

you are beautiful,
just the way you naturally are,
there's no need to alter yourself,
with some silicone and scars.

Just be beautiful Beautiful,
there is no need to pretend,
and leave the makeup and fake body parts,
for the trannies and mannequins... ∆

No Valentine

Happy Valentine’s Day,
so fckn cliche,
no Valentine,
no sublime,
no feelings of ecstasy,

no we just me,

alone,
once again,
faced with my own thoughts,
and the deafening sounds of this silent hotel room,

I’m alone,
and I probably deserve it,
this is likely my proper karma,
the emotional toll paid in full all cash no credit,

the piper being paid,
for every heart I’ve ever slayed,
for every good girl I’ve ever played,
for every time I left when she wanted me to stay,

they were good girls,
they didn’t deserve it,
I was a bad boy,
and didn’t even know it,
I guess the only thing worse than breaking a heart,
is not even realizing that you’re the one that broke it,

she loved me,
most of them did,
and I left most of them,
with scars and sorrowed sentiment,
and I apologize in all honesty,
even though heartbreak was never what I intended,
but breaking a heart is breaking a heart,
no matter whether or not the Breaker even ever meant it,

this is what happens when there’s desire,
but for lasting love their’s no incentive,
like a dozen roses ready to go,
with the postage paid but with no place for the sender to send it,

as this sick cycle signals,
it’s time to either heal this or end it,
as these deep wounds burrow,
this can only be described as deserted and desolate,

chocolate,
hearts,
melt,

in the Sunshine of Time,

thoughts,
of her,
felt,

as they frolic through my mind,

no Valentine,
probably won’t have one,
until I’ve paid in full,
for every good girl I ever left,

so I likely have a few more heartbreaks headed my way,
because I’m not yet done paying off this debt,

and I’ll pay,
and I’ll pay,
and I’ll pay,
I’ll pay until there’s nothing left,

and then,
hopefully,
at that point in time,
I will finally find the girl out there that I know somewhere exists,

the one that’s been doing time like me,
the one who’s broke just as many hearts,
the one who too is paying off her relationship karma,
by repeatedly getting her heart broken apart,

even though we know what they say,
you can’t turn a bad girl good,
but once a good girl goes bad she’s gone,
forever,

whatever,
either way she’s out there,
and even though I’ve never met her,
I know I already love her,

that girl that no longer wants to be a player any more,
I don’t want to be a player anymore I just fck a lot,
no Big Pun intended but everything else I meant it,
writing this Love Letter on Valentine’s day with no where to send it.

Anyways I know that ex-player turned good girl exist,
and she feels just like I do in this exact instant,
she’s somewhere alone paying off her debt,
for all the guy’s who’s hearts she broke even though she never meant it,

and now,
she feels like I do like ditto,
tired of playing the field,
just looking for a solo love that can be true like bingo ,

and one day we’ll meet,
and we’ll probably get married but no kiddos,
because 2’s a company but 3’s a crowd,
and that’s one thing that both of us still know,

that’s why I write this out loud with,
the hopes that she’ll find these words right wherever she is,
and she’ll find me somehow from this love letter,
like a message in a bottle sent from an island and found by a ship,

and when we finally meet it will be love at first kiss,

this,
is what I hope for,
no more promiscuous ***,
nope no way no more,

I’m a born again ******,
holding out until I finally meet that Apple of my eye,
and until then,
I’m not dating anyone no way no how nope no Valentine,

because I don’t deserve one,
won’t until I’ve paid off this debt in full,
for every good girl that I’ve ever left,
still hold no regrets even though I’m lonely as Hell,

so I likely have a few more heartbreaks headed my way,
because I’m not yet done paying off this debt,

and I’ll pay,
and I’ll pay,
and I’ll pay,
I’ll pay until there’s nothing left,

until I’m totally spent,

but until that time I’m alone,
once again,
faced with my own thoughts,
and the deafening sounds of this silent hotel room…

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

Free download of the new book here: www.scribd.com/document/367036005/The-Sydney-Sessions-12-Steps

Come on man,
get with the program,
things are moving at a speed,
that's the opposite of a slow dance,

so no there's no time for negativity,
not at all not even a chance,
it's time to advance into the  21st Century,
we're no longer Cavemen & the Dark Ages have long ago passed,

& even though the Past has passed,
sometimes it still haunts our Collective Memory,
like that guy from Memento trying to count back to this moment now,
got the invitation long ago but still don’t know who sent for me,

but unlike that guy from Memento when I put back the pieces of the puzzle,
I hope I don't find a sick plot twist like discovering that I murdered my wife,
see sometimes we are our worst enemy plus memories can be tricky,
so I tread carefully as I retrace my steps that led me to this moment in time,

& I’m so fckn Emo for still dealing with these feelings,
of being in love with those that don't love me & pretending I don't give a fck,
even though I’m afraid of real emotions & afraid to show them & it shows,
so I guard my Heart’s ramparts & stand guard as my own Sentry ****,

& I'm just so over not being able to get over it that I'm sick to my stomach,

& of course I have regrets from my past,
& of course I have pain I mean who doesn’t have at least some of that,
but resilience is one of the main keys to not suffering defeat,
I mean at least not in the streets by the hands of a Broken Soldier in retreat,

or a Soulless body that sold it's soul to party or an Emotional Zombie,
both as outdated as the old Atari & sorry but I suggest you press delete,

& that's why I won't engage with any more enraged psychopaths,
I’ve been down that road before so now I know better than that,
no Sir, no Ma’am, instead, I am, on what, They call, The Path,
in a forward upwards onwards motion on a sorta sorted NoWarPath,

& you can go ahead & hashtag that,
if you want to attempt to invent a fad,
here I'll do it 1st & you can do it 2nd,
& hey 2nd isn't 1st  but hey it's also not last so really it's not bad,

#NoWarPath

don't want to rain down a shower of bullets,
would rather just take a bubble bath...

excerpt from The Holy Trilogy Vol. 2: Manadalas
available world wide here: www.amazon.com/dp/1721134158

----

**No,

I don’t want to go out,
not trying to be negative,
nor am I trying to hang out,
with people who are negative,

which is why I don’t want to go out,

no,

no way,
you’re not getting me out today,
don’t care what you do,
or what you say,

I’m perfectly fine here,
with my nostalgia and insecurities,
and I’m paranoid enough already,
so please I don’t need any one or thing else to worry me,

I’m fine in my own mind,
in my own home in my own room,
where I spin these stories,
which makes this room more of a cocoon,

but if this room is a cocoon,
then does that make me a butterfly,
or better yet a catepillar,
my mind’s drifting again whatever never mind,

just forget it,
it’s easier to just not care,
no need to pretend you want to attend to my wounded heart,
believe me you don’t want to mess with the mess that’s in here,

I’m a troubled soul,
we both are,
so what good would two troubled souls be together,
that’d just be double trouble for sure,

sure,
I might seem popular if you read my Facebook posts,
and sure from the outside looking in,
I might look like I’m living life the most,

heck,
a lot of people even call me a Player,
but I’m not a Player I don’t even play,
at least not anymore,

and I’m writing this like it matters,
like this poem will be the one that the world shares with itself,
like I haven’t written enough already,
like three #1’s in a row isn’t enough,

it’s never enough,
nothing ever is,
that’s why I’m not going out,
before I even get into anything I’m already over it,

not sober with,
my anxieties getting the best of me,
yeah I guess it’s a natural high,
if you consider a natural high EMF’s and caffeine,

and I don’t even think you know what I mean,
and if you do you probably don’t care,
and if you care I probably don’t notice,
and that’s exactly why I’m staying right here,

I’ll save us both the trouble,
so we don’t have to go out and you don’t have to feel awkwards,
because if we go out I won’t be able to let loose,
because I’ll just be thinking about how our society is so perverse,

how we party away,
having drinks that cost more than most people make,
see it seems the only way to have a good time is to be in denial,
and I am a lot of things but one thing I’m not is fake,

I can’t pretend,
don’t even want to,
I’m not your Arm Candy or your Sugar Daddy,
we are already even so I don’t owe you,

anything,
nope not a thing,
and no I’m not going out,
so please stop asking,

as if,
any one is even asking though,
it’s Friday night and the phone doesn’t even ring,
oh well I guess I’m better off alone,

so no I don’t want to go out,
not trying to be negative,
nor am I trying to hang out,
with people who are negative,

which is why I don’t want to go out,

no,

no.

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Once Upon A Time

The truth is,
I saw you for real,

not just your eyes,
though they were the window,
not just your mouth, though it was the door,

the truth is,
I saw you,

in a flash of light,
in a fleeting moment of intangible time,
somewhere between uncontrollable chaos,
and unconscious calm,

I saw you,

and in that fleeting moment,
I saw we all want to feel,
both comfortably numb,
as well as every possible awkward emotion,

imagine all the people living in harmony,

see there’s a little Lennon in all of us,
just not enough...

We all want to feel,
both comfortably numb and every possible awkward emotion,

who killed John Lennon,
who killed JFK,

they want to assassinate our characters indiscriminately,
anyone could be informant don't know who to trust these days,
is that why what little emotion you still hold,
you try and hide away?

Well,
you can’t hide from me,
you see,
I see you,

you see I see you,
and your unconscious charade,
but your charade can’t fool me,
just like John Legend can’t replace,
John Lennon or The Weeknd can’t replace,
Michael Jackson or how Donald J can’t replace JFK,

or how MLK can’t be replaced be anybody,

because nobody’s even trying to stand for anything anymore,
unless they’re standing drink in their hand on the dance floor,

who killed MLK,
who killed Michael Jackson,
who killed Prince and why haven’t we felt a thing ever since,
it seems we lost ourselves but we don't know how it happened,

and I just want to feel again,
and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen,
and I know the deal,
the real truth and the real you so please stop acting,

the truth is,
I see you,

so don’t act like you don’t care,
because we both know I know that you do,
and please pinch me to prove we aren’t dreaming,
even though we both know we have nothing to prove,

and nothing to lose,
please show me some meaning in all of this,
and I’m not asking for understanding,
I’m just acting for some acceptance,
I’m not asking for anything else actually,
well maybe also for you to at least acknowledge,
that I see you not part of you but all of you,
you can't fool me with those mirages,

I see right through the tools you use to confuse with,
you see I see you,

so accept this,
without exception,
show me your Self,
or show me nothing,

tell me something,
that you’ve been waiting to never share,
because I’ve gone numb from all these faux pas feelings,
and false hand dealings from those that never cared,

see it seemed I’d lost hope until I found you right there,

and now,
I’m seeing,
something,
someone,
who reminds me,
you remind me,
to remember,
that we felt once,
and for that,
I love you,
forever,
and I’m indebted to you,
and I’m here,
to return the favor,
so I remind you,
that we felt once,
and we still do,
and I still see you,
not the fake you but the real you,
and the real you wants the real truth and the truth is I see you,
or at least I saw you before I forgot to remember,
because you forgot to remind me to remind you...

The truth is,
I saw you for real,

not just your eyes,
though they were the window,
not just your mouth, though it was the door,

the truth is,
I saw you,

in a flash of light,
in a fleeting moment of intangible time,
somewhere between uncontrollable chaos,
and unconscious calm,

I saw you,

and in that fleeting moment,
I saw we all want to feel,
both comfortably numb,
as well as every possible awkward emotion,

imagine all the people living in harmony,

see there’s a little Lennon in all of us,
just not enough...

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Can I tell you a secret,
I think you’re the most beautiful,
when you wake up with no makeup,
in my arms where you are held,

and you’re stretching and yawning,
and I’m purring an pawing,
and it seems,
that any moment without you,
is just time in between,
and I know this is hard to explain,
but do you know what I mean?

I mean,
you know what I mean.

I’ll make the work worth it,
come join this One Man Cult,
we can all dance in the sunset,
it’s our choice but not our fault,

nope not at all.

No denial without admittance,
not the government don’t keep secrets,
no espionage at all,
I’m an open book you can read it,

hey you,
can I tell you a secret?

It’s our choice,
but not our fault,
we can all dance in the sunset,
come join this One Man Cult,

thought that we were one,
until I realized we’re all things,

can I tell you a secret,
I think you’re the most beautiful,
when you wake up with no makeup,
in my arms where you are held,

and you’re stretching and yawning,
and I’m purring an pawing,
and it seems,
that any moment without you,
is just time in between,
and I know this is hard to explain,
but do you know what I mean?

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

Venice, California; 2018

I still long for you,
no time too long no distance too great,
still out here writing my heart out in these verses,
on these pages as the war rages sounding cliche,

still going to fancy pants dance parties,
although I’m not sure exactly why,
because while everyone’s on the middle of the dance floor,
I’m alone in a comfortable corner writing these lines on the side,

and we both know I try to substitute you,
with all these other girls,
but I told you before for you there’s no substitute,
because these other girls are just “other girls”,

they are not you,
they do not understand our artistic plights,
that’s why when they ask what I’m writing about,
I don’t even want to attempt to try and reply,

but if I do reply when they ask what I’m writing,
as I’m in that comfortable corner writing these lines on the side,
I either abbreviate my emotions by simply stating I’m writing poems,
or if I do go into detail I just tell them a lie,

I tell them,
I’m writing about the world,
when really,
the truth is all I’m writing about is you,

in solitude,
not trying to be rude,
I’d just rather be alone writing these poems,
than be with any other girl other than you,

in a solitary confinement of my own design,
because I locked my heart away and lost the key,
then found that surprisingly you’d found the key,
now you’re the only one that can break my heart free,

because,

I still long for you,
no time too long no distance too great,
still out here writing my heart out in these verses,
on these pages as the war rages sounding cliche,

still going to fancy pants dance parties,
although I’m not sure exactly why,
because while everyone’s on the middle of the dance floor,
I’m alone in a comfortable corner writing these lines on the side…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Open Anahata

Yeah,
I know,
we haven’t spoken in awhile,
and sure,
we see,
each other’s updates occasionally on our Facbook profiles,

and maybe we send a message,
every now and then,
but computers are a poor substitute,
for true human interaction,

what happened,

how have we become buried,
deep underneath more immediate thoughts,
and the farther down the messages you send be go,
the more the message you’re trying to send me gets lost,

but I still get the picture,
I acknowledge that you would’ve married me,
even though I told you I’m not fit to be a husband,
you didn’t care because you loved me unconditionally,

you love me unconditionally,
and I see now what that’s worth,
so please come home again,
I’ll welcome you with open arms and open heart,

an open door,
and an open mind,
mi casa tu casa mi amor,
please come inside,

I’ve been waiting for this moment again,
for such an incredibly long time,

I’m sorry I should have written you more after you left,
I’m sorry I should have sat with you more before you left,
I’m sorry I’m not sorry,
I’m sorry I was not ready yet,

but I’m ready now,
I fully accept,
everything you are,
and everything you’ve left,

yeah,
I know,
we haven’t spoken in awhile,
but I see now,
what we can be now,
and believe me it is beautiful,

beautiful,
come home come home,
I will welcome you,
with an open heart and open arms…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Outta Here

This is already taking to long,
over it before I’m even into it,
too legit to quit what not,
genuine not counterfeit,

I counter with,
Love when ever a Hater steps,
got the best moves like a chess move,
where the Queen gets the King hit,

call that one,
the King’s Gambit,
reckless like drunk double agent detective,
accidental checkmate surprised as you still act like I planned it,

but if you’ve noticed in chess,
it always ends with “check mate.”,
which means you never actually **** the man,
you warn but do not finish him,

must be an English game,
of English origins,
or maybe it’s Indian,
either way it’s foreign,

wait,
nevermind I’m snoring,
see even the most entertaining thing,
sometimes seems so boring,

this is already taking to long,
over it before I’m even into it,
too legit to quit what not,
genuine not counterfeit,

see we all know time is priceless,
because it’s the only thing we can’t be any amount of,

all the money in the world,
still haven’t a moment to lose,
can spare a dime but not a minute,
Time or Money which would you choose?

Nothing to prove,
you want the truth,
all of these words,
have already been used,

it’s done,
party’s over,
I see the sun,
there is no cover,

it’s like that morning after at the party,
and everything doesn’t look quite as pretty,
and the sun is starting to rise,
and you want to go but don’t know where specifically,
this is the paradox we all walk,
on the road to Eventuality,
with Dear Watson steering in a Datsun,
stating the obvious that it’s “All elementary”,

Dear Watson I’m lost and,
this is already taking to long,
I’m anxious with no direction nor patience,
and the only thing I want to get is gone…

This is already taking to long,
over it before I’m even into it,
too legit to quit what not,
genuine not counterfeit…

So come on,
let’s get outta here so we can get into it…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Picasso’s Abyss

In Budapest my hands hurt,
goes with the broken heart,
tried to keep it all together,
but sometimes things just fall apart,

beautiful art,
at the castle today,
Pablo Picasso,
a few dozen of his works on display,

I’m dismayed,
how lost we’ve all become,
can’t see we’re all family,
can’t see your brother only see Pokemon,

okie dokie son,

I guess the game is over,
congratulations and well done,

where are you from,
where are you at,
currently I’m in Budapest,
the Buda Castle to be exact,

looking across the Danube,
sun sets upon the parliament,
and it seems another day has gone,
did have some time to spare but now I don’t know where it went,

time must be an illusion because there’s no signs to where it’s gone,
my hands hurt my head hurts my feet hurt still I must travel on,

writing tales of futuristic history,
out in the world and on the internet,

Heaven sent,
you’re Heaven blessed,
child your an Angel,
to this I must confess,

in Budapest,
and my hands hurt,
tried to keep a good grip,
but sometimes things just fall apart,

into the abyss,
into the darkness of Picasso,
into the impermanence of all of us,
here today gone tomorrow…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

author of The Poetry Trilogy

Just give me ONE reason why I should care about any of this.
Seriously.
∆

Life is,
spontaneous,
amazing,
horrible,
wonderful,
beautiful,
ugly,

­life is,
poetry on a napkin,
the right song at the right time,
it is tragedy,
excruciating pain,
unbelievable bliss,

and we never know when we’re gonna go,

so,
eat healthy,
your body is the house of your soul,
it is your temple,
treat it as so,

so,
so long,
strange friend family,
so long,
I’m off back into the full moon’s glow,
back in the maddens of the light of life,
back into the blackness from which we came,

we are all stars,
burning brightly in brilliant light,
until we burn up and vanish,
back into the blackness from which we came…

Aaron La Lux

∆

“The power of the written Word,
has just as much to do with the writing it,
as it does to do with the person reading it.”

– ∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆ –

The H Trilogy
volume 1
7/7/16
∆

Prism’s

Your pain,
is poetry,
a painting a drawing a piece of artwork,
spill your oily acrylic ink on me,

let’s make a mess of this fuss,
then forget it all in the clarity of luminous trust,

true,
you,
are poetry,
thoughts are the pen the place is the page,

detain your humane pain,
then express it plane in an artistic campaign,
through your prism’s windowpane,
until all that remains is your frame totally unrestrained,

your pain,
is poetry,
a painting a drawing a piece of artwork,
spill your oily acrylic ink on me…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

You can not take a place with you,
we all know this is true,
and I don’t want to leave these mountains,
but what else can I do?

I must descend back to Babylon,
for there’s knowledge to be shared,
and more work to be done,
work that can not be done here,

so as I sit here on an opal rock,
high in the Himalayas,
I pray for peace upon all of earth,
with an incense and a prayer,

then back I go,
back down the mountain slow,
into the Devil’s lair…

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

In The Pursuit of Happiness

Everywhere I go,
there are too many pillows,
and I’m not complaining I’m just saying,
it’s like I’m living inside some sort of reality show,

so far gone out of our minds into these experiences we go,

in the pursuit of happiness,
we catch the wave go with the flow and away we go,

so,
certain of nothing,
living,
the dream one nightmare at a time,

writing,
these words,
right after she’s left me,
like everything we experienced was just a dream,

or so it seems,

met amongst the sweat and steam,
of some thermal baths,
on the Buda side,
of Budapest,

bubbles whipped into a froth,
wandering but not lost,
feeling like a God,
gone but not forgot,

at this sacred sanctuary,
on the Buda side of Budapest,
I’m a runaway still on the run,
so sanctuaries like this are where I do rest,

in the pursuit of happiness,

some call it a challenge I call it a quest,

life is a lesson it is not a test,

losers say no while winners say yes,

Yes,

on the Buda side,
of Budapest,
this was the setting,
in which we met,

she was with her friend,
a lesbian from ******,
that’s an island in Greece,
for those that don’t know,

she happened to be a poet too,
so naturally we vibed well,
because when two or more poets get together,
it feels like we’re part of the artist cartel,

we got those emotions if you need them,
come on over and get your fix,
just a little motivation,
a rest stop a re-up on the road to happiness,

in the pursuit of happiness,

we have plenty of experiences,
we roll dice and take chances,
life itself is a gamble we all lose,
because nobody gets out of here alive,

I invited,
her and her friend to dinner,
they accepted so we met up,
a few hours later,

the plan was to go out to one of the ruins bars,
get some beers or whatever,
instead we ended up climbing a bridge,
and watching the lights of the city in all their grandeur,

fast forward,
we’re back at my place,
making love on a bed,
Baraka streaming from the projector screen,
onto the white wall between the floor and high ceiling,
melting reeling shaking grasping releasing,
feeling like two entire universes for the first time meeting,
she was coming I was going letting go at the same time holding,
it’s funny how sometimes a good grip can feel so freeing,
flying high lying down she’s riding me she’s coming now,
she’s Greek a Goddess call her Athena I mean this wow,
I’m surfing Her wave like Poseidon a titan live at the Apollo,
an all mighty Aphrodite laying down but not sleeping no Hypnos,

so high so fly,
feels like there’s wings coming outta my head,
she’s still on top of me so I turn her over on the bed,
to find a tattoo on her neck and here is what it read,

“Pursuit of Happiness”,

in words written in cursive,
this is beyond ironic,
this is cosmic this is honest,
this is a comet crashing into earth this is God meets Goddess,

on this,
earth,
we made love,
like some things still matter,

like,
something,
still,
mattered,

in this,
bed,
we made love,
like no things still matter,

like,
nothing,
still,
mattered,

as Baraka,
continued to play,
onto the tall white wall,
from the projector from which it projected,

and in that instant,
something mattered and nothing mattered,
everything mattered mad as a hatter,
free as a God in Greece in a moment perfectly captured,

as she lays here,
in this moment out of time,
an alchemist creating bliss from the pain,
painting the perfect picture,

this is more than a poem this is living scripture,

we are creating emotional paintings,
we are Gods and wherever we our is our Mt. Olympus,
as we travel on and write down our experiences,
so others can live through our words in a way that’s vicarious,

we carry this,
torch and stay on the course in the pursuit of happiness.

And everywhere we go,
there are too many pillows,
and I’m not complaining I’m just saying,
it’s like I’m living inside some sort of reality show,

so far gone out of our minds into these experiences we go,

in the pursuit of happiness,
we catch the wave go with the flow and away we go…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

09/09/16

Author Bio:
www.amazon.com/Aaron-La-Lux/e/B00ODPJAOK

In Sintra,
feeling like a New Age ninja,
can barely type I’m so high,
today I climbed three mountains,

we were a trio,
a girl and another guy,
now I’m alone at my castle,
with nothing but these words I write,

see I’m alone tonight,
and alone has never felt so good,
I’ve made a conscious decision to dedicate my life to these writings,
so that hopefully eventually the unexplainable can be understood,

understand?

I write the collective pieces of this puzzle,
that we experience as we exist,
each poem is a piece that falls into place,
until the big picture is what we get,

this,
is not a poem,
this,
is a message in a bottle,
carried across the seas of time,
or actually an ocean in motion,
this is the not so secret ingredient of love potion number 9,

I’m doing fine,
trying to stay on subject,
to appease the public,
without getting to deep into symbolic numerology,

trying to keep it simple,
so we can all understand,
I don’t want to write words that confuse people,
I want to write words that enlighten them,

and in them I mean you,
yes you,
I want to feel you see you hold you be you,
I want to want you without wanting to want you,

and I’m wondering if you’re wanting to want me,
without wanting me too,

shoot,
it’s starting to get complicated,
I didn’t mean to make it personal,
honestly it could have been anyone,
that received my message in a bottle,

I just wrote it,
I didn’t think anyone would really read it,
I didn’t think I’d sell 100,000 copies of my books,
I didn’t think that you’d look at me and believe I’ve succeeded,

see this,
is all becoming a little much,
so I’ve escaped to Sintra,
where it’s the simple things I love,

and you can find me here,
amongst towering trees and fuzzy ferns,
writing words faithfully,
because I’ve learned you get what you earn,

you get what you earn,
as in you reap what you sow,
and the peace from the tree tastes so sweet,
when you take the time to let it grow,

the Tree of Life,
bears the fruits of our labors,
and all I’m really trying to say,
is you are you’re own best savior,

so see you later,
or not either way it doesn’t matter,
we’ll all be gone in a hundred years no matter what,
but that doesn’t matter because there is no later,

there’s only this moment,
right here right now,
and the question is not if we die,
it’s if we live and if we live then how,

how do we live,
and what do we leave for our children’s kids,
well personally I leave these puzzle pieces,
in the form of poems such as this…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Reality Rap

Got another flight to catch again,
I don’t want to go,
not ready to touch down,
not ready at all,

a cracka with an attitude,
apple sauce from Adam,
Deviled eggs eaten outta the Hand of God,
and Angel food cake served by Satan,

cake cake cake debate is hardly worth a retort,
the frosting is awesome I’ll even take it on the tort,
or **** Peter Park no Spiderman,
bitten by a scorpion on my right hand,

and these aren’t just rhymes,
they’re Reality Rap,
and if you like this,
well you’re gonna love that,

fact,

no Ratpack just some facts that,
wrap their words around tangible things that seem abstract.

It’s all math,
it adds up if you can add,

exactly to the 1’s with the 0’s,
like the Matrix I don’t wait take the best first,
I’m paranoid of all my hero’s,
while these villainous nerd birds peck at my net worth,

these villains are tools for the Machine that’s cursed,
these are all facts real rhymes freestyled never rehearsed,

they’re actual reality translated into the written word rhythmically,
I’m hearing voices in my head and their songs are sung so beautifully,

I love all of those ghost with moments of present nostalgia,
this is poetry we are poetry I couldn’t’ve done it with out ya,

I love you I love you,
I know you’ve heard it before,
no love is too much,
once that love is no more,

got another flight to catch,
and I’d really love to stay and explore,
all of our everything’s together for sure,
but away in this world on another world tour,

and on that note I gotta go,

got another flight to catch again,
I don’t want to go,
not ready to touch down,
not ready at all…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Volume 1
The H Trilogy
I just published a new book.
If you could take a moment to check it out,
and even write a review it'd be most appreciated.
All profits go to a charity that prevents ****** assault against children.
So not only are you getting an epic book of poetry,
but you're also supporting a good cause.
Thank you SO much!
∆
Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01I4621OE

Relax For Real

Want to relax,
but feel so fckn lonely,
so I put the pen to the paper,
hoping for a connection that won’t be phony,

let’s not pretend to pretend,
let’s keep it real and act true only,
every line’s a quote the pens sets trends,
broken dreams with heavenly hopes makes reality holy,

and yes,
you can quote me,
and yes,
I’d like to quote you too please,
see I want to relax,
but I feel so fckn lonely,
so I put the pen to the paper,
hoping for a connection that won’t be phony!

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆
'777' available worldwide
www.amazon.com/dp/1548700746