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Yes, feelings ****. Not that I have a lot of them, but the ones I have **** me up, and mess with my brain, body and mental health. The only place I still feel genuine hapiness is with you. I'm happy in a lot of other places, with a lot of other people. And I wouldn't wanna change those moments. But I'm never the same happy I am with you. I've never felt something quite like that hapiness. I used to see you pass by in the hallway, and still, if I pass you by, my eyes light up a little. It used to be hard to find you in a crowded place, now your face is the only face I seem to find. You don't wear colorful clothes, but you always catch my eye. You light up those really dark places, just by being there. You don't even need to smile. I don't think a lot of people see that. I don't think you see that. But I do. And I don't think I would still be able to see in the dark without that light. I'd stumble and fall, over and over again. And it's okay if I have to walk there, alone in the dark, for a little while, because I know that if I'd fall again, you'd be there to catch me. Maybe not now, Maybe not everytime, but someday, in the future, It may be.
M sorry
Hey. It's me, again. Probably not such a surprise, is it? I wrote you a whole lot of these letters. About all 9 of them ended up in the trash. Partly because they just 'weren't right,' but the biggest part was because I was too self-concious to give it to you. So, yeah, I'm in love with you. You may, or may not know. I really understand it if you chose to ignore that part. And, I like you, okay? Not only as in 'in-love,' but as a friend too. You were there when I needed someone, and I'm really glad that you were, cheesy as it sounds. It's kinda messed up to be honest. (I'm kinda messed up too) And, I feel like a creep again. What about this idea; You read this letter, You ignore it, I drown in sadness like I usually do (probably) and I never talk to you again. My feelings will hopefully dissapear and you can live a happy life with your friends and family without me. Sometimes I really wish I could do that. God knows I'm way to helpless for it. I'm sorry, this has really turned into one big mess. I tried to write it with my own mind, but that just keeps wandering off. I'm not sure what to say anymore. Sorry man.  Uh, there's a little "poem" on the back for you. I still have to write it, but, you can see.

Sincerely, Me
I already regret this, but it's fine, I'm fine. Sorry. I wrote you so many letters, this one is one of them. I tried so many times to write one that wasn't, idk. Not so 'bad' as this one. But, in the end, I found myself being able to write it down by heart, because I wrote the exact same thing over and over. So, here we are. I'm sorry you had to read that. And also, here's the poem:


Do you have certain songs,
That remind you of certain people?
You're the song stuck in my head,
And it's a **** sad song baby.
Hey. Guess you'll know it's me by now. I don't really know where to start. Again, I wrote you a ton of these kind of letters. They all ended up in the trash too.
You know, It kinda suprises me. You said that you read the line "I'm in love with you." from the last poem I sent you, thirty times. but, In the letter I wrote you, I said it too. I really thought you'd noticed. I really thought you already knew. Not that it matters a lot anymore now. In a good way though.
I really don't understand the stuff you do to me. remember the first day of school, when we hugged in the middle of the hallway? Lucky me, you walked away for a sec. I was shaking, it surprised me you didn't see. How? I don't know. Or when you told me; "I would date you." And my brain just, stopped. I literally couldn't think anymore. It really felt like a dream, and it still does. I dreamt about you last night, I vaguely remember. It was kind of a nightmare, but before it got scary I woke up. But seriously, when I think about you I just, I don't know man. ****'s confusing. But yeah, I really am head-over-heels in love with you. And, I don't know what's gonna happen next, but I know it'll be a good thing.
Sincerely, me.
Felt like writing something rlly stupid to you. Sorry.
Amarys Dejai Sep 17
What I mean to say is that I heard the angels weep when I first saw you smile. I imagined that there was an invisible string wrapped around my heart and tied to the corners of your mouth.
        When you smirked, my heart skipped a beat.
Before that, your lips were parted, your mouth was open ever so slightly, and I have never ached so badly to kiss someone.
        I thought about how they would feel under the touch of my
Your eyes--the color of the soil of the earth.
        I've dreamt of being buried in both.

So it goes--God created everything, and everything he created was good.
        And you are the firmament; you are the most heavenly,
        wondrous thing.
Something about him made me want to believe.
Aaron LaLux Sep 17
Okay okay alright, I give up, you win, I surrender,
I’m waiving the white flag, I’ve had enough, need to sit down,
I’m folding the cards in my hands, laying them on the table,
wiping the sweat off my forehead then throwing in the towel,
been running so long legs’re about to give out want to give up,
& I don’t know how but I’m totally open to figuring it out,

relinquishing resentments, adopting pups, & releasing doves,
reducing defenses, developing myself for receiving the love,
needing some hugs, making amends, making out, & making up,
ready to give it all up right now, cuddle up & do snuggle stuff,
just to be fully present for you directly, for us, stepping up,
& I know this ADHD makes it difficult to focus,
but babe you know I’m dedicated to making it work out,
yes my mind gets easily divided at times but love will overcome,
I’ll tame my mind it can be undivided when in your presence,
until my death which will likely come when least expected,
like so many other legends that have passed away suddenly,
probably in a plane crash or other similar event wreckage,

RIP Aaliyah, once gone can’t Try Again,
RIP JFK, probably our only real president,
RIP Otis Redding,
show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Try A Little Tenderness,
RIP Rocky Marciano,
KO’d after the plane dove on his 46th birthday,
RIP Buddy Holly, RIP Ritchie Valens,
both died on the same plane, so gone, so long La Bamba,

the Brightest Lights always cast the Darkest Shadows,
the brighter the light the darker the hues,
it’s the 4th of July we’re on a lake in Chile,
enjoying the company & enjoying the views,
post solar eclipse glory letting go of any lingering regrets,
though I do wish She were here,
they say heartbreak makes the best art,
but I don’t know if the effects are worth the burn I feel,

only here for a moment, so tell me why you came,
want to love liberated, but still inside my self built cage,
you possess priority in my life, your impression left indentions,
& I’m still trying to learn, how to show non ****** affection,
but it’s difficult when you’ve been abused,
it’s different when you’ve never felt love that was pure,
so I’m still working on it all or nothing, it’s up to you to choose,
if you’re willing to work with me until I’m cured I’m yours,

Okay okay alright, I give up, you win, I surrender,
I’m waiving the white flag, I’ve had enough, need to sit down,
I’m folding the cards in my hands, laying them on the table,
wiping the sweat off my forehead then throwing in the towel,
been running so long legs’re about to give out want to give up,
& I don’t know how but I’m totally open to figuring it out…

∆ LaLux ∆

poem #80 from THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available worldwide here:
Starry Sep 10
Hill Morty MD
I am glad you have your dream girl in me.  I want you to know that we were made for one another. You want to work with me, love me, start  a family and also storm area 51 with me. I am honored to be your girl.

Michael Hole Aug 23
Hugs and kisses,
for my princess,
on this Tuesday morning.

I hope your sleep,
was sweet and deep,
without my awful snoring.

If I was there,
I'd stroke your hair,
And stare with eyes adoring.

We'd lay and talk,
I'd joke, you'd squark,
both, between our yawning.
esha Jul 12
She wrote him a letter,
In a language, he didn't knew.
He kept the letter,
In a place, she didn't knew.

He never asked her about the letter,
Cause he knew he will not reply.
She wrote him the letter,
Cause she never wanted a reply.

He knew it was a love letter,
It was the love he didn't knew.
She knew it was love,
It was him she didn't knew.

So she wrote him a love letter,
In the language, he didn't knew
Restu Taurina Jun 10
you have no idea.

no idea of what i feel about you. of how much i care about you. of how much i think you're amazing. of how often i'm thinking about our future together. of how much you mean to me. of how much happiness you have brought into my life. of how much you make me happy and sad at the same time.

you have no idea.

no idea of how much you make me feel so alive. of the butterfly riot that takes place in my stomach when you talk to me. or when you sing a song for me. or even when you hold my hand. when you hug me. when you kiss me gently. of how much you make me scared and worried most of the times.

you have no idea.

no idea of how much you take me ups and downs. of how many lies you've said. of how much you hurt me sometimes. of how much i want to slap your face, and kiss you after that because i knew you're hurt. of how much i don't want to see you because i'm too ******. of how much i will hate you after we fought, but missing you immediately after that. of how much i want you to be my last.

you literally have no idea.

no idea of how much i want you to change, but i realized if i ask you to do so, you won't be the person i'm falling in love with from the very beginning.

you just have no idea about all that...
I always finish the wine when it’s opened

My thumb’s always the shoehorn for my shoe

I always miss the snow in the spring time

And I’m always thinking about you.
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