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Kayla Chappell May 2023
As you close the curtains
I close my eyes too
But i still feel
What ive always felt for you.

And when the sun awakens,
So will you.
Maybe youll apologize,
Sometimes you do.

Whats been accomplished here
Im not sure.
Im constantly on a swing
Back and forth from
Can i love myself
And love you.

Im not sure what my goal is here
Maybe i was placed as a lesson
For you.

Im tired of being the lesson
I want to be the prize.
I want to feel desired.
Empowered.

Your eyes locked in mine

I am the fixer
I dont want perfect
I will always water you
Even if its not worth it.
If i dont get anything back
At least i am with purpose.

But your soil has dried out
I pour myself over
Nurturing you
Every last drop
I squeeze out to water you.

Your roots are too damaged
My flow still everlasting,
I seem to think.

But each drip you take
Is thrown away.
I take the water
That I desperately need
And give it to you.

Clinging to each moan
Each time we electrute

Infinite energy.
My *** is empty
Yet i know I have more,
So i keep going.
Your eyes and mine
Align.
But then the stars say, its time.
You cant turn from truth
When its looking your right in the face.
Begging you, to not run away.

You need to take a look deep inside.
I am the prize.
But we've lost track of time
Fun times turned to addictions
Actions turned vindictive
I know that white powder is so pretty
But its not a human being.

I miss being
The one you want to touch
Even if its lust.

Yearning for the day,
That i look in the mirror and can accept my face.
In my eyes,
All i see is damage.
Most days i see in grey.

I want to explore.
******* tired of being ignored.
So please step up,
Do you have what it takes?

If not, sit down
And let the next man take your place.
I have too much love to give
Jokes to have
Laughter to live
To sit here
And accept this fate.

Na
Im taking control of my day.
Ill be the one to put a smile on my face.

K.c
If you know you know.
My Dear Poet Apr 2021
“Look after your Soul”,
that old preacher would say
Cherish with your life
or it may wither away
Take care, to take care
and guard it well
Lest it becomes so sickly
it’s fit only for Hell
Payton Hayes Feb 2021
You were a drug to me, babe.
      You weren't the medicinal kind either.
                                          You weren't just a painkiller.
You weren't an antidepressant.
                                                     You weren't a Xanax.
                                                        You weren't ******.
You weren't even the good kind of drug.

                    You weren't ****** or **** or ecstasy.
You were the kind of drug that
                                           messed around with my heart and left my brain feeling clouded.
You were the kind of drug that left me confused and
                                                                               feeling worse than before I took you.
But I did.
Again and
again.
I told myself I would
break this vicious cycle of unscrewing your cap and
                                                                   hating myself for it afterwards.
That I wouldn't draw back the plunger and
                                                          force you into my veins anymore.
But I didn't.
Again and
again.

I told myself you
                                                would be the death of me.

Every high you gave me left me feeling
                                                                          lost in the clouds.

I might as well have been
                                    six feet deep.
This poem was written in 2016.
Payton Hayes Feb 2021
You were the definition of
             Satisfaction.
You were the    blood
                                  in my veins, and
the smoke     in my lungs.  
I was addicted to you in the worst of ways.
It was you who could quench the eternal thirst at my lips. And it was you who could satisfy the ravenous hunger in my bones.
You were everything I needed all at once. And You gave me everything I ever wanted.
A love that
                  consumed  
                             me.
Check out the other poems in the "Addictions" series!
This poem was written in 2016.
Kimmy Oct 2020
Dear addiction
                    This is goodbye

You have been a close friend, that i have always been able to count on over the years
Always had my back through all the highs and lows,
You have  had a huge impact on my life  but not in a good way!
I have now realized how much time I have wasted on you
I also have realized how many times you have taken advantage of me
Especially when i was at my most vulnerable
Im tired of letting you control me
Im tired of always having to depend on you to make me feel a certain way.
Im tired of this love- hate relationship im ready to release this shame
And self-hatred you have been causing me for so many years,
I am ready to find freedom for myself and create a life that is worth living
Thank you for all the important lessons you have taught me about my self
Sincerely
Better off
Without you💕
I am in the process of beating my addiction. Its hard and yes there are times I want to give up. Then I think of how everything was just so wrong and messed up. My mind couldn't handle anymore abuse... I had to stop.
Pinelle Bikouta Sep 2020
How
many pills
does it take,
For pain to be
numbed? That's
a simple answer,
Simply take
one.

How
many pills
does one need,
To be able to fall
asleep? That's a
simple answer,
Try take
three.

How
many pills
will I require,To
be able to control
my thoughts? For lately
they've grown into dark
desires. Maybe I
should try take
four.

How
many pills
should I swallow,
To be able to see the light?
Lately I've been in darkness,
and in it I just wallow...
Maybe to escape
I'll take
nine.

How
many pills
must I consume,
To feel as if these
demons are now out?
I don't feel well, and the
feeling will resume, Unless
I bump up consumption,
maybe take
ten now.

How
many pills,
will save me,
From the terror I
now face? I feel too
sick to get up, So
maybe I should
take another
eight.

How
many pills
will I need this
time, To cure me
from the demise
of taking a
breath?

...

Answer:
A pill cannot
cure life, So the
only way to end my
sickness is
death.
...because we're always told pills will cure our pain, but are never told that life will eventually be full of it
A May 2020
I'm falling up
            I'm floating down
                              I've had enough
                                            Drugs take the crown
Manipulated By Addiction
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