I know a boy
With eyes like mine
He is breathtaking, refreshing like the ocean
When the tide comes in
He is extraordinary, radiant like fields of amber
When the harvest begins

I know a boy
Who loves Java as much as I do
My favorite pass time is when we’re coding
He is teaching me theories
We’re experimenting
Seeing what works best
Efficient, Effective solutions  
We’re engineering the simplest algorithms
It’s a practical approach
And it’s all his fault
It’s the best **** thing

I know a boy
He knows me better than I know myself
He understand the explanations I cannot give
The result isn’t a misunderstanding
I don’t have to scream, but I want to
I want to argue with him
Even though I’m running out of air
My face is about to break
My heart is about to explode
And my mind is moving a mile a minute
But when the war is done
In the silence I find familiarity  
I’m falling asleep to affectionate lullabies
I’m waking up to inside jokes
This warmth has me leaking like a faucet
And it’s all his fault
It’s the best **** thing

I know a boy
He blows my mind
The conversations are weird
Slow and Sweet
Anxious and Calm
I’m rambling without a filter
Swearing and Laughing
I just want time to stop
Just hit the pause for a moment
So I can memorize the moment  
Save the conversation
So we can live it together later
And it’s all his fault
It’s the best **** thing

I know a boy
With eyes like mine
And it’s the best **** thing

You got this way about you
I can't figure out
All that I said remains true:
I want to see where life takes you

Your gentle hands, unspoken brush strokes—
Why mask your portrait in shades of gray?
Give yourself the same grace

Why is your worth a foreign concept?
You're the epitome of the green and gold

What can I do?
Certainly can't argue—
Just accept a—

simple truth:
you're the green and gold inside the gray

the truth
It's simple, It's sweet

no one can handle you
expect you

you're transformed by these words
these thoughts
these emotions
you're shackles

you write the story

and I, What I want

the truth
It's simple, it's sweet

for us, you and I, to meet
somewhere
by chance
one day

when time collides

in a corner cafe
maybe at the bus stop

I read the story

I'm transformed by these words
these  thoughts
these  emotions
my shackles

and you, What you want

It's simple, It's sweet
the truth

You got me feeling like a fool
And it takes everything I got
Not to burst, come undone
When you smile that crooked smile
Playing it cool

And I know how desperately you want to say it
The words I never want to hear
And I’m thankful you always save it
Choosing to show it
The words I never want to hear

As we drive down the interstate
In your rag top car
With my legs on the dashboard
And the sun shining down
Talking about everything we’re gonna do
Everywhere we’re gonna go
I see you looking at me
With those Bambi browns

And I know how desperately you want to say it
The words I never want to hear
And I’m thankful you always save it
Choosing to show it
The words I never want to hear

I swear I-I never wanted to trap a butterfly

It's all my fault
shards of ceramic scattered in disarray
It's so surreal
scattered soil, cautious footsteps
an unsettling sight, distorted situation
The roots' exposed

I have no right to cry
After all
I broke your heart
didn't I?

I tried to get past the past, but
all I know is loss
all I do is grieve
All I hear is ambient noise
Ringing through my head
all I know is violence
all I do is parkour

And avoid the feeling

Checked out
found the exit
and chose
To grieve you today
Cause I can't bare the thought of losing you sometime down the road
When you hate me
And regret me
and we'll be screaming about all your wasted time

I can't be what you want me to be
And I know I'm not what you need
I don't know the person in your head
But I know it's a concept I can't complete
And you can't handle the person I am

I swear I never, I never wanted to trap a butterfly

Please, believe me
I swear it wasn't my intention
I didn't mean anything by it
I only wanted to escape
For a moment
See all the colors before I go blind
No worries, no responsibilities
Fill my lungs at the top of the world

Running through
crowded places
And you grab my hand
before
I
get
hit
by
speeding
cars

I don't understand
how did you get me laughing

It must've been the caffeine
For a moment
the geranium almost thrived

Now I'm too old to be
Drinking alone at noon
Pretty pink drinks
As pretty as Dianthus in spring  
Is that what you meant
When you were explaining your feelings?

Well, the bartender is adorable
But I can't bare to look at brown eyes full of pity
Like they can see right through me

I swear I-I never, I never wanted to trap a butterfly

So I leave
And
Speeding
cars
are
honking
loud and angry
almost hit me
Hilarious
If only
then I could
finally escape
and I can
finally feel...
Nevermind
It doesn't matter

Poison slips into the cracks and crevices
Under the skin
Down the throat
Into the lungs
Behind the ribs
Irreversible structural damage
nectar of dissolution
Dissolve the heart

You know who you are

I swear I never wanted to **** a butterfly

Venus flytrap

At random hours of the night
I'll send you a joke
Because I wake up from nightmares
Where you've been ripped from my life

I'm trapped inside a house with spiders
Surrounded by canary-colored walls
I'm afraid of Virginia Woolf
and all the words she ever wrote
I don't want to feel such things anymore

You call me up
But don't say a thing
What's there to say?
Would it change your mind?
Would it make a difference?

I'm too old to pretend
On the midnight train
I know we won't make it
I'm too old to believe
In words and young hearts
I'm too old to feel like a child
On the midnight train
We'll go our separate ways
At the end of the line

When I say, when I say, when I say...
I'm met with silence

My whispers could never be louder than all the politics (Suicidal thoughts)

What you mean, what you mean, what you mean...
Will always be,"Goodbye"

What do I know?
I'm afraid of Virginia Woolf
What was I thinking?
and all the words she ever wrote

At random hours of the night
I'll send you a joke
Because I wake up from nightmares
Where you've been ripped from my life

I stood at the station waiting for you
but you never came

For the longest time
I was attached to the notion
I could count on you
but paper planes never fly like rocket ships
when you're not there

I gazed at the hourglass sitting on the counter
Waiting for you
It mocked me with each grain that fell
so did the memories
flooding back like a never ending rainstorm
15 months gone, 15 months since
Love abandoned me on the battlefield

I remember how
I lost my breath as butterflies got lost in
Sweet Secret Strawberry
Kisses

I didn't know death had a shadow
I didn't know he was watching

I've run out of words, no more excuses
this love is silent

but it finally stopped being complicated
and I can dream outside of war
because I'm done waiting for you

Ever sit for hours, staring at the waves?
Until the sun sets, and the moon shines on the water.
But the moon doesn't shine. It just blocks out the sun.
No phone vibrations, no messages,
And you're too tired to reach out.
Realization hits like a wall of water,
Tumbling in a powerful grip
A cold shock seizes your muscles.
No one notices a ghost on the docks,
a problem that's drifted beyond the horizon
Maybe one day, the waves will calm,
But for now, you're pulled under,
Disoriented,
With saltwater stinging your eyes.
Fillings your lungs.
Into the depths of solitude.
I don't know if you'll survive,
But the waves are so beautiful.

We kept waiting...

Exhausted
Another treatment, another doctor, another realization
More medication, more promises, there is no solution
You still can't shed your scales, your scars, your skin
No more pain

...guess I was hoping...

I don't want to be drunk while I'm loving you
I'll lose myself when I lose you
Twenty thousand leagues within
the city of Angels that was supposed to save you

...but in the end...

We are bathed
In golden rays
And my fingertips heal the shadows on your face
We'll share tangerines and the rest of these drowsy days
In white rooms where weathered vinyl tiles echo like a knife on a bottle

...there was nothing left to do...

I pour my love over your grave
And I wait for the wind to rise
I alway thought my soul was a crystal to be shattered
But it's dust to be scattered throughout the cosmos
Don't wait for me
I sit with the mourning waiting for the morning
To rise for a new day
But it never comes
It's just another day

...my faith has fallen...

What a beautiful age you were

Young heart
Trying to fix a mechanical monotonous machine
It’s rusted
But the gears keep turning
Getting it through the tunnels
Blinded by flashes
Plastered on the face of every magazine

The masks move closer
Close your eyes tight
Don’t give them the satisfaction
They can’t shatter your shattered heart

She’s perfect.
It’s plastic.
Just tragic.
You crave her victory;
The affection of faceless strangers staring
On the other side of the glass
Snow white shackles
But it’s written on your grave

You think you’re in control
But you’re walking on a bed of nails
They’re pulling your strings, Puppet
If you fall from the tightrope you’ll disappear into emptiness

And the fear of ripped up teddy bears
Rejected to the shelf
It’s too much to bear

The possibility that what you want is a shadow you’ll never catch
You’re eyes, plastic immersed in porcelain
You’re falling apart at the seams
And no one seems to care enough to stitch you back together
You’ve forgotten how to smile
And pushed away those who used to care
Told them to stay out of your business

You’re drinking arsenic
Walking a narrow path with no doors
And every step forward erases another piece of you

Black roses scattered along blank pages
Coffee cup is half-empty and in need of a refill
Dawn is about to break, but I haven’t slept
Flowers placed by the window are wilting
Goodbye, let’s continue tomorrow

You can leave if you really want to
I'm not going to try to stop you
And I won't tell you I love you
You should know by now
Know me by now

You can leave if you really need to
I won't beg you to stay
And I won't tell you I miss you
You should know by now
Know me by now

You can leave if you really have to
I'm not going to cry
Because you aren't in my life anymore
You could've kept me
But you, you never wanted me
Never saw me

So you can leave if you really
need to;
want to;
have to