I'm praying to the moon,
But I'm all alone.
I'm searching for a friend,
But I'm far from home.
I'm questing for a purpose,
But it's what we make.
I'm running towards death,
But my life is fake.

I can't write-
When my wrists are cut,
And I can't guide you-
When I hold my eyes shut,
I'm sorry if-
I disappointed you,
But I can't do this-
I'm black and blue.

I hurt,
And on a scale of-
One to Ten,
Its an Eight.

I scream-
In my head,
Breathless,
Yet breath could wait.

I cry,
Please notice me,
Please comfort me,
Pain held in hand,

I hide,
The stones-
And the sticks,
As life demands,

I exhale,
Another day,
No-one can know,
What I contemplate.

We've all dealt with the breakups,
Drowned in the shakeups,
The streaks in our makeup,
The space that it takes up,

Valentine's day-
Four days past,
So you can pray,
That the next one'll last,

For Karlee, a text,
At 8 in the AM,
I knew what was next,
And I always replay them,

So I ain't here for the art,
I won't write from the heart,
I'll write from my fist,
Cause I brought a list,

Homeless,
I gave you a home,
When you were alone,
How could I have known,

You used me, played me,
Lead on and betrayed me,
You claimed that you cared,
Every time that we shared,

My bed, the space in my head,
The things that you said,
The thing that we made,
You just wanted laid.

You don't know the pain,
I hold in my chest,
I'm not a person,
They would attest,
I could have acted,
I can't confess,
Regret subtracted,
From what I had left,

Ive talked out my crime,
At three in the AM,
I've been paying my time,
I could have saved them,
All I've got is this rhyme,
At three in the AM,
On my last dime,
I could have saved them,

Take it back, rewind,
Back to the sixth grade,
All the mistakes,
The friends that I made,
Too young to know better,
I followed his lead,
Too young to the letter,
The flower, the ****,

I've prayed to the stars,
At three in the AM,
Been counting these cards,
I should have saved them,
Been writing these lines,
At three in the AM,
Been cutting these binds,
I should have saved them,

Charisma leads strays further astray,
What can I say, a pawn in the play,
Everyday, counting down may,
Never would guess you'd be taken away,
The principal pulled me aside,
Eyes wide, nowhere to hide,
And my faith died,
You proved that my trust lied,

Because that day I remembered,
An offhand comment I thought was humor,
You were joking, I thought,
But now the sickness is a tumor,
You hurt her, not just a rumor,
I knew it then that I had doomed her,
And then people soon heard,
So on my wrist I've written a word,

He found you,
At three in the AM,
And its all my fault,
I should have saved them,
You're still alive,
At three in the AM,
But tattered and torn,
I couldn't save them.

The burn behind tired eyes,
The screen, awash with light,
The herd and their pretty lies,
That's what keeps me up at night.

Coffee, eight sugars, no cream,
Too loud, our star is bright,
It is surely too late to dream,
That's what keeps me up at night.

Work, work, work,
Stop for some soda and a bite,
This society's quirks,
That's what keeps me up at night.

Anxiety, and depression...
Continuing this endless fight,
Punishing myself with exhaustion,
That's what keeps me up at night.

Waking with a start I lept,
Away from the odd place I slept,
I could taste the Other near,
Like the touch of patient fear,

Something strange I couldn't place,
The path of which I could not trace,
A creeping darkness without source,
That won't be stopped by will or force,

Now reaches out with ancient word,
Forgotten just as soon as heard,
And as a shadow slips through glass,
No wall or gate will stop Its pass,

Not pain nor pleasure matter much,
To It time has no halting clutch,
No food or rest or friendship sought,
Just the fear of those It caught,

And now I break within Its grasp,
And I hear Its chilling rasp,
"No heaven or hell for you await,
Eternal darkness be your fate".