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3.6k · Apr 2021
Stone in water
Brumous Apr 2021
I cannot speak, I cannot hear
I shall not feel, and I do not think;

For I am a stone,
that is better to be thrown away
I just don't know the problem; Maybe right now, I am too desperate to be liked by people and fill that void of my unknown desires


I hate it.
2.6k · Feb 2021
Togetherness I
Brumous Feb 2021
Your love is a music box,
a melody that surrounds me;
it intoxicated me.

Love me now,
so that I can feel safe

Love me now,
so I feel complete

Love me now,
so all worries bid goodbye

Love me now,
so I won't be wanting things;

Things I can't have

Love me now,
so I won't be paranoid

Love me now,
so I can escape this everlasting winter snow

Love me now,
so I can be in your arms

Love me now,
so I won't feel like an empty vessel

Love me,
like those people with happy endings

Love me,
so I can feel warm

Love me now,
so I can breathe

Love me now,
so I can see

So I can live...
Yet I can't force you, not because I know that it is wrong
I'm just too tired now.
this is pretty much a fail or something. But, the music I am listening to right now makes it seem so perfect, a lullaby.
The title of this is the title of the song in the game
2.0k · Jun 2021
cake
Brumous Jun 2021
one drop of fruitless satisfaction
two spoonful of unease
three teaspoons of emptiness
four quarts of loose tears

a handful of frustration,
pints of jealousy
gallons of heaviness
dozens of music,
and a sea of thoughts

but a drop is enough for me to drown
My teeth hurts...
It's painfully sweet.
1.8k · May 2021
Mistress
Brumous May 2021
Rich, powerful,
with stunning beauty of a goddess,
That's you.

Yet, I do not hold any permanent loyalty.
I give them to anyone I see fit,
and you---are not worthy of that luxury;

"Not anymore."
Sometimes loyalty isn't my cup of tea, they are wasted too many times for me to count.
1.8k · Apr 2021
Rendezvous
Brumous Apr 2021
Blue skies, city lights
in this broad planet
You can feel small,
and you'll never know why

Look at the mirror,
let out a pitiful sigh
Ask your reflection, "who am I?"
only to never hear a reply

You look away;
as silence pierces through your lungs,
you ask the person in front of you
if you were good
.
.
.
.
.
.
enough


"no," they said.

You shall yearn for things you cannot attain,
envy to bring thyself more excruciating pain,
tell one the untruth just like you do to, I.

Face the mirror,
find yourself,
and meet me in due time.
Lost and stuck in a trance.


I still don't like the self that I see in the mirror every day.
Yet, pointing every part of myself out is the only way to keep me from dreaming too much along with its pain.

Being left to dream the impossible is the thing I despise,
for I cannot do what I want, and this leaves me inside a cage of lies.

Made by my own hands and mind.
1.8k · Jun 2021
one (proper format)
Brumous Jun 2021
uoy ot gnis I
seuh derettahs fo yballul a
htrow dna ytilaudividni fo snoitcarfer

kni gniyrc neeb ev'uoy
em revo lla deraems
ynnuf s'ti, das os gnikool


                           
I sing to you
a lullaby of shattered hues
refractions of individuality and worth

you've been crying ink
smeared all over me
looking so sad, it's funny

'sit scriptor aspiret invicem'

       Should we?
              we already are.
                     Each other we paint;
                                  "blood from thee."
original look here -> https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4362712/one/
I don't think
1.7k · Oct 2021
leaves of fall.
Brumous Oct 2021
gone was you,
and gone was I

I search the wind, saying
"where am I?"
1.7k · May 2021
clockwork
Brumous May 2021
Everyone is walking,
and I'm here
standing alone

Time crashed
like waves--in the ocean
whilst it halted as
the shouts of silence began

I stood there til' the sun came to withdraw
from the moon's night sky;
All there is was the cold night breeze,
while the moon and stars accompany me

-Br.
1.7k · Jun 2021
mind comparison
Brumous Jun 2021
i wish i was a dinosaur
free with broad lands to soar
dead but has the world to adore

yet here i am sitting on the floor
with thoughts stored
like a wooden box

i am at war with myself
such a chore

tears hide behind the door
i can't take it anymore
1.7k · Jun 2021
zero
Brumous Jun 2021
I've lied
but don't we all?

As we grow,
a part of us dies.

Like an onion skin
layers of lies envelop me
They said that I've changed,
yet I don't know which way

I've played pretend,
tried masks and
eventually forgot
which one was
truly mine.
Who am I supposed to be?
1.6k · Oct 2022
drop pop baby
Brumous Oct 2022
.
sugar, sweet, tooth-rotting ache
you're my sugarboo, you leave such a lovely taste---
an obsession that I will not take.
are you hungry for more?
1.6k · Jun 2021
one
Brumous Jun 2021
one
uoy ot gnis I
seuh derettahs fo yballul a
htrow dna ytilaudividni fo snoitcarfer

kni gniyrc neeb ev'uoy
em revo lla deraems
ynnuf s'ti, das os gnikool

mecivni teripsa rotpircs tis

                            ?ew dluohS
                 ;era ydaerla ew
          tniap ew rehto hcaE
eeht morf doolb
1.6k · Apr 2021
Your mellifluous voice
Brumous Apr 2021
was all I heard
by the time that you were
gone.
1.6k · Apr 2021
Precocious
Brumous Apr 2021
I want to grow up,
for I am incapable to go back
and relieve the feeling of my carefree self

that I once enjoyed
1.5k · Jun 2021
pt. 2
Brumous Jun 2021
I'm not selfish!
You haven't experienced the weight and woe
that accompany me with each tick of the clock;

I was--no;
I always disapproved of the things I've done,
I've regretted trusting with such nativity,
I always offered too much

I wanted to be accepted,
so I did what I thought I should do.
I tried changing myself,
I attempted to be like them, and
to somehow be similar.

It was of pure envy,
I wanted to be like them
Attractive, and having
countless friends

I wanted and needed;
And, instead of being envious,
I was greedy or maybe both;

I kept on suppressing my own emotions,
I push back the tears before they even form.
I would look unpleasant if I allow them to fall.

With an effort to perfect myself,
I desperately tried to improve with
the talent that I possess.
I was frustrated
each time it looked--so horrible.

Yet, blinded by my own perfectionism,
I overlooked the progress made.

"What a fool,"
"I can't seem to cry even if I want to,"
-pt. 1
1.5k · Nov 2023
stars.
Brumous Nov 2023
I wouldn't simply flick the brush
in regards of painting you;
You're more than that to me.

I'd stare up high looking at the real ones
and use them as reference,
to at least be able to paint you in the same league...

You've captivated me
unlike any other nebula I've seen.
To the point, that urging myself to look away
and move on comes to the scene—

Because my mum told me
to never look at the sun directly.
Funny, how I never listen
knowing I got blinded by you.

However,
I also think of you as the moon.
Cold and very far away,
Unable to reach you.
I'm no astronaut,
But if I could—I would.

You've got me wishing for you,
Like lovers longing for each other.
But you are a star,
and I am but a man.

I'm nowhere near
the level of other women,
I'm mediocre at best.

But, I would have painted you better
than any other woman could.
1.5k · Apr 2021
Wonderwall
Brumous Apr 2021
It's funny how I always think of you,
as my sanctuary, someone I can run back to,
and tell that "I love you,"

But all there is a wonderful raconteur
that filled you with alluring words and beauty
All you are is a piece of art;
an illustration of imagination

I am head over heels for you
despite knowing how troublesome;
it is to me

In the end, all I can say--is that;
"She is my Wonderwall,"
I love her so much but...
she's far from real
1.4k · Apr 2021
Eraser
Brumous Apr 2021
I'll let go of this pencil
that continues to draw this
head filled with imagination

"behead me,"
and bring the endless ache of being
an insufficient being;
in this ideal world

'filled with feelings, pens & paint,'
it irks me that I make no sense

I hate that I'm not perfect like her.
1.3k · Apr 2021
Winter; haiku
Brumous Apr 2021
Your emerald eyes
pierced through the lavender moon
sheltered by blue
Second try on doing this :DD
1.3k · Nov 2021
starfish.
Brumous Nov 2021
I've dreamt of floating near the coral reef,
with fishes swarming around me
Although concerns swallow it,
I'm afraid to dive deeper.
Should I breathe?

-Br.
1.3k · Jan 2021
Anhedonia "Wall flower"
Brumous Jan 2021
The flowers of Anhedonia grows upon me,
Its roots engulf my whole being.
Serendipity long lost, Only the remains of this wintercearig feeling inside this small yet feeble vessel.
I don't know what to do or what to say; maybe to fill up that satisfaction I crave.
Mind slowly turning insane,
I keep things to myself, and that's all that I can say.
All the florets blossom in the longing shade;
of darkness that might never fade,

Anhedonia.
1.3k · Jun 2023
Superfluidity
Brumous Jun 2023
Half full yet...
I keep
dripping,
spilling,
crying,
breathing.

Everything creeps up,
and I empty myself.

I empty... myself?
They empty me.

Thoughts past zero degrees,
ice-cold breaths give me a mouthful of red.

empty cup, empty head,
an efficient way
to keep myself there.
Everything is getting too much; I have no place to shelter myself from this noise.
1.2k · Apr 2021
Morosis
Brumous Apr 2021
My love can be oceans deep
vast yet beautiful;

As its waves gently drenching the sand,
all I can imagine is the warmth of your hand
No words can comprehend how much I love you

That is why even after crossing the seven seas
I might find myself drowning
if you got tired of me
We as humans, yearn, want, and need
Only to find ourselves; lonely and full of greed
1.2k · Nov 2021
To leave,
Brumous Nov 2021
Summer at your home;
thy embrace, warm.

Mondays of June,
those coffees with you
felt like love so true


-
....must we?
are you,,
stuck in a dream?

-Br.
__
listening to: chaos - polarrana

I don't know why I like to make the titles a part of poems but, it seems better that way.
1.2k · Oct 2021
stopwatch.
Brumous Oct 2021
I need a breather,
for I have set a timer,
in each fraction of my life

I've never tried running a marathon but,
I have always felt that I'm running out of time.
Every beat feels like ticking,
I'm afraid that soon it'll stop.
1.1k · Feb 2021
Grim Realization "Silent"
Brumous Feb 2021
I sat there talking with people,
but I seem like an invisible figure.

No one listened, so I still sat there, with a happy smile;
Pushing back tears while filling my head with lies,
Whelving those feelings away as I put on;

A pitiful disguise.
02/08/2021

"Believe me every heart has its secret sorrows, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad."
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
1.1k · Jun 2021
bruises
Brumous Jun 2021
I knew how stupid I was,
to believe you
without a second thought

But, I wish you'd remember
the touches of care,
the way I ruffled your hair

I wish they comforted you
as my words were fruitless
to express worry

when loose tears appeared
and slipped down your cheeks

I liked you
despite the lies told

Now, that's passed
I'm the one who remembers
and you forgot.
It wasn't love
Perhaps it was infatuation.

We aren't necessarily friends. They were somebody
...somebody I cared for
1.1k · Jun 2021
Fool
Brumous Jun 2021
I want to let go of something I hold endeared,
it pains me so,
but it'll hurt me more
if I don't...
let go
I want to stop drawing for a long while...
1.1k · Apr 2021
Walking Marathon
Brumous Apr 2021
The thing about time is that it seems so long,
yet it can easily slip out of our hands

It seems so hazy,
one goes fast
one is slow
and there is this one
that feels like a dream

I don't want to let go of it;
don't run
don't walk

don't stop
don't go.
I need more time
but you're going too fast
1.1k · Mar 2021
Temerity
Brumous Mar 2021
The appetite of a people-pleaser cannot be appeased,

due to the want of satisfying everybody's needs
1.1k · Jul 2021
distractions
Brumous Jul 2021
a shower at midnight,
small snacks at 2:22,
coffee at 3:14,

I stayed up all night,
to find distractions,
and waste some time.
I slept at dawn.

I only got two hours of sleep, but I don't feel tired.
1.0k · Feb 2021
10:07 AM 05/02/21
Brumous Feb 2021
Another day passes by,
With me not knowing why.

A grin is plastered on my face,
Like a maniac running from something he hates;
yet I still enjoy the feeling of the chase.

The tension made it an ill-looking smile;
then the idea was washed over me.
I feel this way because...

I was useless.

I was useless yet did nothing to solve this problem.
I'll idly do something as I remember all the things that should've been done,

It haunts me

every second,

minute,

and hour.

I was a menace,
A menace to myself and everyone;
Felt like an actor reading a script.

But then again, someone said that life and all is like a play
And the world is a stage.

It makes everything feel surreal,
Like a living dream.
"Sometimes people are clouds,
they pass by without saying goodbye"
1.0k · Oct 2021
concentrated.
Brumous Oct 2021
everything has its perfect ratio,
a little bit of this, a little bit of that;

I should've maintained the status quo,
instead of putting concentrated things,
and giving a lot more.

-Br.
Sweet, bittersweet, bitter.
__

I'm drinking coffee today (It's dark coffee). But, I didn't like it; I was conscious about wasting coffee so, I just threw in another instant coffee mix (a much sweeter/creamy one) and two spoonfuls of honey.

I should've settled for a more subtle coffee,
my tastebuds are confused but,
I somehow want more.
1.0k · Feb 2021
Umbrella
Brumous Feb 2021
When the time comes, I'd feel so numb and empty.
I really want to ask this to you.

Would you comfort me? Like how I comforted you?

Try all my best, like I did for you?

Despite that brewing storm inside me, would you come and rescue me?

Will you be there to wipe the melancholy tears as it falls like the heavy rain?

Can you make me happy, like how I try to do the same; just for you?

Would you care for me, Like I did for you?

All by Myself, In a room with no doors, just four corners. Alone in the dark.

What would you do?
Seriously, I don't know if this is good enough. Some words feels so dry and bare.
Brumous Oct 2021
Long gone were the times where
we serenade with such love and promise,
the time where you prove everything to show it
in hopes of them reciprocating your calling

Now was when we give gifts, and chocolates,
along with a sea of flowery compliments
A simple "I love you." would do it,

While some prefer that comforting silence,
quiet but genuinely loving.
ʜᴀʀᴀɴᴀ/𝕊𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕕𝕖.
—A piece of music sung or played in the open-air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover.

"sad that I can't see more of this tradition,"
-Br.
994 · Jun 2021
right note
Brumous Jun 2021
thousands of them
I hear each day
but,
the beat of adrenaline
is enough to tire me
I like to retrace some moments with that kind of rush, even if it is a little violent; like the time I slipped and nearly dislocated my ankle; I was in too much shock that I had shortness of breath, and I barely heard a thing that I tried having the air of a fan going through my ears to at least calm me down. But, I don't really like being unable to breathe properly; I remembered crying so much that time; there was a power cut and a storm.
984 · Apr 2021
Rain
Brumous Apr 2021
talents are like seeds;
they grow
with proper love
and care

it takes a while to find one
but nurturing them seems
delightful

seeing others having them is amazing
"it looks beautiful,"

actually, I have one;
right here laying on
my small, soft hands

as years went by,
it flourished; showing a
delicate flower

I am simply overjoyed
but,
.
.
.
maybe I got happy too much

since that naïve I
went to them
and showed them mine

without knowing
that perfection
was the base judgment;
and I was never passing that line



"what's the point of giving all MY time?"
Continuation:
'So, I sat by this plant;   watered it with envy;
as it bloomed dissatisfaction
built I with standards
as a meaningless façade,'
958 · Jun 2021
pas seul
Brumous Jun 2021
Love can't be the solution for all,
I'm alright dancing alone,
waltzing with echos in the halls

It might be lonely,
but I am enough to keep me company

Stay away from me,
If love would hurt, I'd love myself first
Shut the door; needing it isn't a necessity.

I'll have the red string untied,
free from the boundaries of love
Taking a meaningless joyride,
from dawn to midnight
taking in the world so wide
It's enough having a friend by my side.

-Br.
Pas Seul - /ˌpä ˈsəl/
a dance for one person.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyN6o_Eyfl8
I prefer listening to songs while writing. This song feels calming since I've been blasting loud songs this past few days. I also used this song so that I can write it with a tad melody of some sort.
902 · Oct 2021
Rinforzando.
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
Oh, why must this be!
In this pretend society,
it proceeds to drown me in
insecurities, frustration, envy.

We are our very own droplets of the universe,
each person with uncharted galaxies
that not all people can descry

Most of us are prone to ire,
a single remark
can spark a fire

Fearing to be seen as imperfect,
we change the pure essence
of ourselves,
that very
moment

Do I even know me?

I started to think
if there was even a calm
before the storm,
our minds frantic,
and
I'm concerned
.
.
Life is a dance, never-ending!
A game of musical chairs,
with a sole chair for all of we

Unaware about the
hundreds of seats
surrounding it;

All this negativity
just because of a flaw
within
me
.
.
.
you,
and
everybody.
𝘙𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘻𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰
—played with a sudden increase of force.
—used as a direction in music usually for special emphasis of a note, chord, or short phrase.
—abbreviation rf or rfz.

-Br.
__

a little lonely...
882 · Jan 2021
Lonesome "Bird Cage"
Brumous Jan 2021
"Please... Help me escape this reality and take me away;
So far away, send me to the world of fantasy. "

"Give me a door to the world of illusion, please..."

"Send me there, in hopes that I  find something that could fill that dissatisfied void inside of me,"

I'm such a coward. Who knew I had such feeble feelings?

Things like this aren't so necessary, right;?

Daydreaming is all I had;
And there's something I wanted to reach so bad.

I clutch onto the bars that keep me isolated. I see that ray of light;
it was merely inches away, yet it feels like miles apart from me.

Should I go and grasp for it?

Escape this prison of my mind and live in a life full of satisfaction?

Or will this thinking even get me far?

What if I failed?

Who will come to my rescue?

Who will save me from drowning in an ocean with no water as air stopped flowing down my lungs?

Can this heaviness be lifted?
This void within my chest?

If I was set free, who will accompany me in a vast world like this?

With this coop of thought that I have;
I'm no better than that person who was in a room with no doors, just four corners.
"Those who are alone, and stuck in their thoughts...
Will anyone try to understand them?"
856 · Apr 2021
Gulosity
Brumous Apr 2021
What's the difference between man and woman?
When all there is---mistakes and clichéd mottos
We failed to fully respect each other,
and just disguised ourselves as gods

instead of being human
Yes, some live in a corrupt society.
831 · Nov 2021
all in vain..?
Brumous Nov 2021
.
.
.
melodies, delicacies & poetry
I indulge myself in these,
for I am drunk on emptiness
never to break free.


The life I am living as, is it--
I continue living as a corpse;
unbreathing.

-Br.
____
(I like to make the titles a part of my poems :] )


Isn't it lonely?
828 · Oct 2021
one subtle ripple.
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
-

_

walking in the path of enlightenment,
I choose to change;
not for my satisfaction
but for your very smile.

_
-
.
.
one step at a time.
820 · Mar 2021
Untitled
Brumous Mar 2021
All the roses wither, the flowers fall,
and I see vines over the wall.

The chair where a little girl once sat on;
was tied down by the roots, left to rot away.
Accompanied by bones, and memories of one who was in dismay.

A stranger strolls across the worn-out halls,
Rustle, rustle the leaves say.
Silence screams in his head, with each step forward.

Splish-splash
The raindrops fall while tears
plummet to the floor;
Like your façade that affects all.

You came to me out of the blue, didn't you?
You came to me, yet left me so fast.
How could you?



How could you...
I had it as a draft :/
819 · Apr 2021
Marmoris
Brumous Apr 2021
I float without meaning,
just my head in the clouds
dreaming
.
.
I'm stressing myself out,
just; to have recognition
that I can do something meaningful
.
.
and to distract me from the eyes of envy
that kills me slowly, oh so slowly
Even though I am far younger
then most people here
.
.
I long for the talents they have
because I am surrounded
by people
whose talents greater than I have
.
.
I take a scroll every day;
and see them
I don't like it;
but
it's okay
.
.
.
"It's alright,"
.
.
Since that's what
I always say
right?
.
.
I feel like a fragment;
either reused as
something greater
or
.
.
.
.
.
I
want to
disappear without
trace; and memories of
the sea along with the sky;
that lacks
its own sense
in
a weird
way


-brumous
I tried writing a poem using one word in mind.
I also tried making it look like a transverse wave.
803 · Aug 2021
nebula
Brumous Aug 2021
I've been craving your affection,
something illogical beyond question.
I'm still on hiatus until next month; Soon, I can post every day :]
Brumous Oct 2021
Please, tell me...
Tell me if you love me,
I still don't know what you think of me
My heart serenades for your love endlessly,
I won't bat an eye if all went down tragically

With my life of screaming melancholy,
tell me that you loved me.
I based it on a book, that I'm currently reading.
Romance but with full-blown angst, my type of books.

-Br.
787 · Mar 2021
Lonesome-fret
Brumous Mar 2021
I hear the subtle sky call my name,
as my head stoops down in shame

My tears pour like rain
while I try to numb this
non-existent pain

I caught sight of things I wanted to be
yet standing still fills me with jealousy

Here comes ye ignorance
caused by unease and a halt of time

Even one's sentiment
ye words failed to define
sometimes, these words don't even say the things I want to share
769 · Apr 2021
Absquatulate; a haiku
Brumous Apr 2021
I am hesitant
to pour less words on paper
left to drift away
this is my first time writing one; although right now---it's somewhat fun testing myself in trying something new; its not that good yet but, it is worth the try :D
764 · Oct 2021
phonecall.
Brumous Oct 2021
too lonely,
too alone,

here I copy,
you're already gone.
....
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