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Nov 2023 · 1.5k
stars.
Brumous Nov 2023
I wouldn't simply flick the brush
in regards of painting you;
You're more than that to me.

I'd stare up high looking at the real ones
and use them as reference,
to at least be able to paint you in the same league...

You've captivated me
unlike any other nebula I've seen.
To the point, that urging myself to look away
and move on comes to the scene—

Because my mum told me
to never look at the sun directly.
Funny, how I never listen
knowing I got blinded by you.

However,
I also think of you as the moon.
Cold and very far away,
Unable to reach you.
I'm no astronaut,
But if I could—I would.

You've got me wishing for you,
Like lovers longing for each other.
But you are a star,
and I am but a man.

I'm nowhere near
the level of other women,
I'm mediocre at best.

But, I would have painted you better
than any other woman could.
Jun 2023 · 1.3k
Superfluidity
Brumous Jun 2023
Half full yet...
I keep
dripping,
spilling,
crying,
breathing.

Everything creeps up,
and I empty myself.

I empty... myself?
They empty me.

Thoughts past zero degrees,
ice-cold breaths give me a mouthful of red.

empty cup, empty head,
an efficient way
to keep myself there.
Everything is getting too much; I have no place to shelter myself from this noise.
Brumous May 2023
Fret not for being the submerged stone below.
You may hit rock bottom, and there may be nowhere else to go.
The surrounding water will harbor you from the noise.

All that matters is that you do not decide that you are bound to be there forever.
Sending myself a poem because I know I have an unhealthy habit of punishing myself whenever something goes wrong.
Apr 2023 · 179
Magic mirror
Brumous Apr 2023
Echoes of that lying indulgence
for the ideal world left out in the open;
calls to you.

And due to the loneliest somber room
you've kept yourself as a prisoner,
all you do is try and grip the walls

Forever looking into the lens
with a filter of that serene land in your head,
a dream that you continue...
to live through.
Nov 2022 · 238
honey biscuit.
Brumous Nov 2022
I want to be the
apple of your eye
the way you are to mine.
Is your smile coated with honey?
Nov 2022 · 356
set in stone.
Brumous Nov 2022
I criticize myself
under a microscope
devoid of all hope,
as I continue to display
the raging ocean
on a dusty shelf,
left all but forgotten.

******* by the century-old life
which I created, that was never there.
I breathe in the depravity and loss.
And of you—the one that I lost.

I continue to fall under
the trance of repetition;
in addition to the grief
that crowds my vision

I have discarded
the golden arrow,
pointing to the right path,
walking 'round in circles,
how does each breath cost?

I am afraid that
I have grown to love the war,
the fear, the woe, and the anxiety of something
that looks so close but is far.

Now, every stroke of the painting
of the memories that I create,
engraved in the mind of the lonesome author
who does nothing—but over-analyze it.
I have grown a few more sets of eyes,
it looks down on me,
observing...
analyzing...
Oct 2022 · 1.6k
drop pop baby
Brumous Oct 2022
.
sugar, sweet, tooth-rotting ache
you're my sugarboo, you leave such a lovely taste---
an obsession that I will not take.
are you hungry for more?
Oct 2022 · 136
.
Brumous Oct 2022
.
i breathe out the air of dread inside of me,
and fill it up with kerosene,
oh hear me,
tis but tired me

light me up
til i cannot breathe.
im so **** tired,
Brumous Mar 2022
I cannot see the beauty in me,
for I've tainted myself with lies and impurity
Hid in a house made
with concrete irresponsibility,
and now they hold no trust in me.

I painted the exterior as if the one who did it wasn't me,
and had the inside done with walls I can't even reach.

gone is the real me,
I locked the door and threw away the key.

a toned color of red smeared on my body,
only wishing to tear each part of me to see what's wrong and how empty I came to be.
shattered.
Jan 2022 · 459
lone droplet drop.
Brumous Jan 2022
These tears shan't fall,
my feelings are better as a rock

Try as I might,
when I break these moss-covered walls,
it'll just spew out a fruit salad of words,
along with the wretched dam,
that I've tried so hard to seal off.

So, being numb might be the best for me,
because I cannot pour these feelings out
without being mixed.
Dec 2021 · 89
chagrin . 1
Brumous Dec 2021
every day is a synopsis
of a never-ending restlessness
that never gets anything done.
It never ends, as much as I want it to.
Dec 2021 · 322
in the dead of night
Brumous Dec 2021
I yearn for things
that I desire,
and to these thoughts
at the end of the night,
it forever keeps me up
beneath the clouded
and desolate sky

I can't help but,
to grasp
the glimmering
dewdrops of the sky

in the end,
we're all alone tonight
a different version of the first one.


-Br.
Brumous Nov 2021
if you borrow the eyes
of those who envy,
you'll be surprised to see how much beauty
they can see— in every little thing.
--
Warning! Daily usage can permanently poison the sight and emotions of the user.

-Br.
___
Trust me, I've been wearing them for years :/
Nov 2021 · 831
all in vain..?
Brumous Nov 2021
.
.
.
melodies, delicacies & poetry
I indulge myself in these,
for I am drunk on emptiness
never to break free.


The life I am living as, is it--
I continue living as a corpse;
unbreathing.

-Br.
____
(I like to make the titles a part of my poems :] )


Isn't it lonely?
Nov 2021 · 87
God, I miss you.
Brumous Nov 2021
.
.
.
I am not a sight to look at,
but being with you made me forget;

You,
the one who made my very own structure,
the one who I thought I knew.
Gave me a year of deception and fun;
I, the oblivious fool, was blinded by something called adoration.

we drifted apart,
you knew what I felt,
I don't.

You kept silent,
I wanted to talk.

Now, listening to her music,
only makes me think of you
reminiscing the moments with you;
made me think that  if  I made the first move,
and told you,
what I felt will be true
to be hurt or not.
I once hoped to cradle your heart,
Despite the lies.

Oh, young love,
Have I loved you?
It was one-sided, I guess.
I still think of you, sometimes.
Nov 2021 · 487
Eventide
Brumous Nov 2021
.
.
.
I love you's,
I love you
Let me tell you something new,
I've been saying this to everyone
So that they'd do the same too.

Yet, despite doing nothing,
just being a chirpy little creature
They wanted to say, "I love you."
Which makes me doubtful;
uncertain if it's true.
I say, "I love you," and I don't mean it.
It's platonic :/
__
inspired by the chorus of Rät by Penelope Scott

-Br.
Nov 2021 · 1.2k
To leave,
Brumous Nov 2021
Summer at your home;
thy embrace, warm.

Mondays of June,
those coffees with you
felt like love so true


-
....must we?
are you,,
stuck in a dream?

-Br.
__
listening to: chaos - polarrana

I don't know why I like to make the titles a part of poems but, it seems better that way.
Nov 2021 · 68
Chagrin.
Brumous Nov 2021
I like to please the likes of them,
though I am just a failure of a flower in a vast meadow
sticking out like a sore thumb;

I cannot do so,
to my displeasure.
I'm a nuisance.

-Br.
Nov 2021 · 73
dislike.
Brumous Nov 2021
I have come back to disappoint,
never was a surprise.
I hate filming myself,
but then again, why was I accepted there in the first place?

-Br.
Performance tasks were never my thing.
Nov 2021 · 1.3k
starfish.
Brumous Nov 2021
I've dreamt of floating near the coral reef,
with fishes swarming around me
Although concerns swallow it,
I'm afraid to dive deeper.
Should I breathe?

-Br.
Nov 2021 · 223
stack by stack.
Brumous Nov 2021
Jenga with words seems easy yet,
every brick I grasp for,
tumbles right back at me
My fair lady.

-Br.
Oct 2021 · 516
humming bird.
Brumous Oct 2021
I've sung my heart out,
and now it's empty.
always has been.

-Br.
Oct 2021 · 323
intricate.
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
what I feel is,
confusing, fragile,
and rapidly changing

I am no Shakespeare;
not good in words but,
just a person who chained themselves
and lost the key

I write to feel, to procrastinate,
and maybe to blow off steam;
Hoping that each work bleeds
the feelings I want you to feel

being a crybaby is hard,
when you can't cry;
being emotional is frustrating,
when everything is too much

you bleed inside,
when you want to
act on those feelings,
[Not everything; can be expressed freely.]
That feeling is clawing
from the very depths of your being

They want to be free, do they not?
Despite that, they'll call you crazy
for feeling such things

Better to be rational
yet, they'll call you heartless.
maybe, something balanced would do

overwhelming feelings is a crime,
I guess dad told me why.

Society and its reality is relentless
a few several mistakes and
everything is in flames,
before you know it
Sing for me.

-Br.
___

I don't know what is wrong with the site but, when I publish a poem it feels like it's set on private.
Oct 2021 · 534
idle.
Brumous Oct 2021
we've been over this
and I know that you're
tired of it

I can't change so fast,
my pace is **** slow
I don't deserve you,
I'm sorry, I know that
I'm disappointing

I wanted to help you,
but I still feel like a burden

you deserve someone better,
and maybe someone like her

I'm trying to change,
but I'm too hesitant to speak

was it always like this?
yes.

-Br.
Oct 2021 · 658
intricate.
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
what I feel is,
confusing, fragile,
and rapidly changing

I am no Shakespeare;
not good in words but,
just a person who chained themselves
and lost the key

I write to feel, to procrastinate,
and maybe to blow off steam;
Hoping that each work bleeds
the feelings I want you to feel

being a crybaby is hard,
when you can't cry;
being emotional is frustrating,
when everything is too much

you bleed inside,
when you want to
act on those feelings,
[Not everything; can be expressed freely.]
That feeling is clawing
from the very depths of your being

They want to be free, do they not?
Despite that, they'll call you crazy
for feeling such things

Better to be rational
yet, they'll call you heartless
maybe something balanced would do

overwhelming feelings is a crime,
I guess dad told me why.

Society and its reality is relentless
a few several mistakes and
everything is in flames,
before you know it
was it me or you?

-Br.
____

Sing for me.
Oct 2021 · 1.0k
concentrated.
Brumous Oct 2021
everything has its perfect ratio,
a little bit of this, a little bit of that;

I should've maintained the status quo,
instead of putting concentrated things,
and giving a lot more.

-Br.
Sweet, bittersweet, bitter.
__

I'm drinking coffee today (It's dark coffee). But, I didn't like it; I was conscious about wasting coffee so, I just threw in another instant coffee mix (a much sweeter/creamy one) and two spoonfuls of honey.

I should've settled for a more subtle coffee,
my tastebuds are confused but,
I somehow want more.
Oct 2021 · 902
Rinforzando.
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
Oh, why must this be!
In this pretend society,
it proceeds to drown me in
insecurities, frustration, envy.

We are our very own droplets of the universe,
each person with uncharted galaxies
that not all people can descry

Most of us are prone to ire,
a single remark
can spark a fire

Fearing to be seen as imperfect,
we change the pure essence
of ourselves,
that very
moment

Do I even know me?

I started to think
if there was even a calm
before the storm,
our minds frantic,
and
I'm concerned
.
.
Life is a dance, never-ending!
A game of musical chairs,
with a sole chair for all of we

Unaware about the
hundreds of seats
surrounding it;

All this negativity
just because of a flaw
within
me
.
.
.
you,
and
everybody.
𝘙𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘻𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰
—played with a sudden increase of force.
—used as a direction in music usually for special emphasis of a note, chord, or short phrase.
—abbreviation rf or rfz.

-Br.
__

a little lonely...
Oct 2021 · 828
one subtle ripple.
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
-

_

walking in the path of enlightenment,
I choose to change;
not for my satisfaction
but for your very smile.

_
-
.
.
one step at a time.
Oct 2021 · 214
chain reaction.
Brumous Oct 2021
This heart filled with fury
that I feel ever so empty;
My mind was blurry,
while my fists are moving.
I think that I'm starting to have anger issues.
Oct 2021 · 1.2k
stopwatch.
Brumous Oct 2021
I need a breather,
for I have set a timer,
in each fraction of my life

I've never tried running a marathon but,
I have always felt that I'm running out of time.
Every beat feels like ticking,
I'm afraid that soon it'll stop.
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
.
I wish for things
that I desire,
and to these thoughts
at the end of the night,
you always keep me up
underneath the moon-lit sky

No wonder, I held in that insignificant sigh,
Perhaps to start that eternal high.
Oct 2021 · 358
Brumous Oct 2021
Tucked in a closet,
yet the depths of Sahara
kept in a small room
Oct 2021 · 702
newton's cradle
Brumous Oct 2021
the time that you told me to die
was painful that I didn't even try
slapping you

I don't know if you lied
but all I knew was it was possible
that you wished I did

I tried to make it up to you;
avoiding hurting you
with the fist,
and temper of mine

I just wished you noticed that I tried;

Yes, I've grown distant,
trying to find one's self;
I was occupied, sad, and alone.

Too busy to find friends,
that won't discard me when I needed someone

I guess that I pushed you away
so that you won't be like me.
An envious, gullible fool
but
as I did,
the more you become
a little more
like me.

We're the opposite of each other
but undeniably similar.
back and forth.
Oct 2021 · 237
beloved
Brumous Oct 2021
everybody
is after love
these days,
they want
to receive
loving words
each day
.
even I
want to be loved
but
.
.
.
I don't want
a partner
Oct 2021 · 359
silly little hiccups.
Brumous Oct 2021
I get these silly hiccups,
and it bothers me
but I'm far too sluggish,
so I let them be
a beat at a time.
Oct 2021 · 412
chords.
Brumous Oct 2021
i base my worth on likes and simple words
i know that this kind of thinking doesn't work
and that will never do.
Oct 2021 · 330
.
Brumous Oct 2021
.
.
.
the silence of the midnight sea,
was like the echo of society,
is this what was it supposed to be?
.
a grey cloud overshadows me,
I am withering.
words are not simple,
that sometimes I just want to be a cloud.
Oct 2021 · 764
phonecall.
Brumous Oct 2021
too lonely,
too alone,

here I copy,
you're already gone.
....
Oct 2021 · 361
non.
Brumous Oct 2021
we follow with blindfolded eyes,
fearing our fears,

a breathless sigh.
Oct 2021 · 1.7k
leaves of fall.
Brumous Oct 2021
gone was you,
and gone was I

I search the wind, saying
"where am I?"
Oct 2021 · 323
quiet.
Brumous Oct 2021
I've grown so much,
yet I feel small.

even if I tried,
would they notice me
at all?
Oct 2021 · 508
roundabout.
Brumous Oct 2021
There are times where I desperately want to improve,
but forget to look back to see what I've accomplished.
too tired of it.
Oct 2021 · 61
gemstones
Brumous Oct 2021
if i
could be
everything i
wanted to
be,

surely I'd
be happy.
Brumous Oct 2021
Long gone were the times where
we serenade with such love and promise,
the time where you prove everything to show it
in hopes of them reciprocating your calling

Now was when we give gifts, and chocolates,
along with a sea of flowery compliments
A simple "I love you." would do it,

While some prefer that comforting silence,
quiet but genuinely loving.
ʜᴀʀᴀɴᴀ/𝕊𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕕𝕖.
—A piece of music sung or played in the open-air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover.

"sad that I can't see more of this tradition,"
-Br.
Oct 2021 · 735
𝐅𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐥.
Brumous Oct 2021
I am a coward
with little to no integrity,
who only chooses
what satisfies me.
𝐅𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐥= Pretending to work without actually accomplishing anything.
Brumous Oct 2021
Please, tell me...
Tell me if you love me,
I still don't know what you think of me
My heart serenades for your love endlessly,
I won't bat an eye if all went down tragically

With my life of screaming melancholy,
tell me that you loved me.
I based it on a book, that I'm currently reading.
Romance but with full-blown angst, my type of books.

-Br.
Brumous Oct 2021
We dance in a stage,

where our lives,
identities, desires, and sin
eats us
.
.
.
.
like the plague.
ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀᴛᴜʀɢʏ =
analyses social interactions as a series of theatrical performances. Normal life is compared to a play on stage and humans are the actors in the play of life.

-Br.
[edit: I tried publishing this for over two hours, error.]
Brumous Oct 2021
We never stopped dealing with this procrastination,
but what is this fleeting elation?

The clock is moving in such motion,
one would think that it's your imagination;
Was it all an exaggeration?
I guess that I'm back.
𝖇𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖆 = 𝔞 𝔡𝔢𝔢𝔭 𝔞𝔲𝔡𝔦𝔟𝔩𝔢 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥

-Br.
Aug 2021 · 803
nebula
Brumous Aug 2021
I've been craving your affection,
something illogical beyond question.
I'm still on hiatus until next month; Soon, I can post every day :]
Jul 2021 · 1.1k
distractions
Brumous Jul 2021
a shower at midnight,
small snacks at 2:22,
coffee at 3:14,

I stayed up all night,
to find distractions,
and waste some time.
I slept at dawn.

I only got two hours of sleep, but I don't feel tired.
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