I'm not selfish!
You haven't experienced the weight and woe
that accompany me with each tick of the clock;
I always disapproved of the things I've done,
I've regretted trusting with such nativity,
I always offered too much
I wanted to be accepted,
so I did what I thought I should do.
I tried changing myself,
I attempted to be like them, and
to somehow be similar.
It was of pure envy,
I wanted to be like them
Attractive, and having
I wanted and needed;
And, instead of being envious,
I was greedy or maybe both;
I kept on suppressing my own emotions,
I push back the tears before they even form.
I would look unpleasant if I allow them to fall.
With an effort to perfect myself,
I desperately tried to improve with
the talent that I possess.
I was frustrated
each time it looked--so horrible.
Yet, blinded by my own perfectionism,
I overlooked the progress made.
"What a fool,"
"I can't seem to cry even if I want to,"