What was warranted could not be
more out of lingering fingers reach,
but vainly was the goal still paused upon,
teased with the view of what each wanted.


But stagnant were there endeavours
                                  for but a centimetre,
a vastness that could not be gauged by touch
                                                 yet palms were placed.

An innuendo of what could be but was not,
there love was undeniable but their reality
                     was a vacant space in their hearts.

And they sat back to back on this
                                      immovable obstacle,
mourning the need to be in the grasp of another.

No tears were shown to the other but in solace
they fell like monsoons on the ground,
all emotions were departed from there clouds
of white that blinked upon time and then stopped.

They never gave up on the motions that stirred
within and even though time
is finite and what was unforgiving
                               in there needing was no longer.

But time is no friend to love, and bones were
all that was evidence of what once was.
Gazing with empty sockets eternally
                                                     gazing on the other.

But where that which kept them apart had now
                                            parted hands of white,  
now clasped within each others touching.

For an eternity where in the echoes of the past
which could not be obtained
                                  was now holding on in death.

Vacant puddles stare into each other
          and where there was two singular
now they are silently holding on to each other.

You tried to disrespect
                   my mother..
saying she was easier
                  than a ****** on ****.

But you never knew your father,
was he the neighbour,
                       the homeless guy..

Na he was my older brother,
cos your mother had an open
                         all hours policy..

And you father was in his place,
behind bars, fifteen years

of being the ***** with shirt *******,
                           crop top of a  *****...

Your no brother, not a half or a quarter.

Your a spillage of happy hour
                             but your life

        is nothing more than time.

I got more respect just for breathing,
you haven't even got breath


cos your unqualified to live,
                     let alone breath.

You may be family, but you should
               have been aborted

as your still a clot



                                 on the floor of life.

Talk about my mother, and you'll
be found at the bottom of a stairwell,

unfortunate accidental demise,
               I can lift twice

                               my body weight.

I parked in her
          At the weekend.

But this time, I noted that
Some one had grit salted
    The other parking spot.

This place was getting over
used and double parked.
      And I wasn't sharing.

Who knows how many
   Times they parked in
                  My spot.

So I never parked in
                    Her again.

I was the two lumps of
                     sugar

in her morning coffee,
    her lips moist..

Yet afterwards she
             was always tired.

                        Go figure.

While you were playing FIFA
I was scoring with you mum.
Could hear you through the wall,
as I came in her net, I'd home
goaled in her just for fun.

But it wasn't to disrespect you,
I never wanted to hurt anyone.
Your dad came home when you
were at collage, and I told him
shut the door and sit in the corner
               till I'd finished his wife off.

See he didn't shout or run his mouth
off, cos I knew who he'd been doing
behind her back,
                    none other than my mum.

Now my dads a good man and he loves
my mum, now I'm not making excuses
for her but your dad knew we were happy
and played the unloved man
                   that just needed love.

Well your dad thought she had morning
breath, but na, she's taken my length after
I off loaded in her ***.

But I stayed and watched as your pops  
kissed her passionately.
Dang that must have been a salty kiss
          breath like the sea with raw sewage
and a hint of peppered sweetcorn.

            Now this isn't about you,
this is about men should respect another's
mum, ok I didn't yours, but she knew
that I was a length and your dad was just
             a millimetre short stop.

And I always hit her spot, so god knows
what my mum
                      saw in this old punk.  


After that day, he never did any odd jobs
around my house, and I confided in my
mother that I knew and that I didn't want
anything, I wasn't telling dad. and she cried
and said it was only a kiss and only once.

But she hadn't instigated it, and she'd been
a little drunk. But I saw him ******* coming
out the bedroom sweating? Ye he'd been doing
some DIY, why what have you done.

Nothing Ma, I just told him he wasn't welcome
anymore, are you going around there's again?
Na mom, I'd played a game done to many home
goals, and they suddenly moved on.
   I'll miss my friend but I'll deffo miss his mom.

I was tapping out rhymes
           While in the womb.
Best selling records
Before  I was even born.

You were just a mistaken
£5, £20 Hook up. £20 was so they
Didn't pull out. The £5 was
To brush the teeth as breath
          Smelt like **** ate out.

But mistakenly you were
       Here. And you didn't know
Ya dad. My family was tight.

Now I know it's not your fault,
  But your rhymes are as loose
                 As what you fell out.

I sell words, while you sell
Out. But not in the sense of
Big seller more you couldn't
Sell water,  even if there
                      was a drought.

Me I have family, I've got fans.
My rhymes give observation
                    Of real life's times.


You copy others ideas, but
Your rhymes choke out.

   If I was a Picasso then
You were the crayon drawing
That a three year old drew out.

Now I know you want to rise
Above your past, but you and me.
I'm the sun my words are the moon.
And when we come together you
  My boy were eclipsed out.

When your souls that
    *****, the devil gags

    And spits it back out.


Then has to wash
the taste out
    Gargling on a ******..

You finking you higher than
                Tower blocks.
King of no castle
                  Is what I think.


We laid seige to this fairy tale
                        That you lived in.
And the nightmare of your reality
     Began to sink in.

Quicker than sand, it swallowed
                             You deep.

And you didn't die, na that's
Way to easy, I got friends in places.
   A voice box cut out, stitches to
   Remember,  think what you
Say quietly to yourself cos
                        The walls have ears..

And you talk like a ***** on heat,  
******* others,
          with big man talk.


You ain't no king,  you ain't even
A porper..
          You alone and no ones
Backing up your words.

    Cos the street listens, and you got
   No voice, you were silenced even
Before you tried to be street.

You were  trod on more
than the pavement,
  *** holes are your weakness.
As you tripped over your own ****.

You tried to climb but then you fell.
Ain't no rapunsal,

                      ain't no queen.

   You were curb stomped and all those
Words you tried to speak just bleed
              All over an uncaring street.

Have you ever read
              Something so stupid

It felt that your brain just
      Commited intellectual
                        Suicide.

Some people need to lesson
      There vowels
        Keep there syllable dribble

On the inside.

     Because when I listen to
           Some people my brain

Wants to commit suicide.

How come life is
               life being high..

But im sober,

I'm tripping off the  news yet


         the last acid I dropped was in 2005.

What the,
       this is like a Simpson rerun,
       but this defamatory
distortion is a live reality.

   I tried to drink my self sober,
            but they wouldn't serve me as I
was under 55....

            I need to outrun this moment
but obese cos all this information is to
               many calories and I still sit here


quietly,
                  and hope this is just another
                                    live re-run....

Everything on my wrist is real,
            the scares from my youth

to the stitches cut out of me on the street.

         But none of you will cut me further than


                                   I fell in the past, I rose up..
  

And now my heads up high..

You'll never put this fire out, the smoke
                  smoothing you..

Getting closer to the ground so my words
             don't suffocate you.
      but my foot greets your words cos that's where
            your words had worth on the ground.

The audacity that you could even raise above,
                          to think that you ever had a cut
that was deeper than I'd self-inflicted.

I'll stand under the lamp posts in the dark,
       easy target, but I'll see you coming.

Thinking I'm alone, but I have friends in the dark.
            you never had no moment to rise,
  you got swallowed in the dark.
                    Tied to a chair, coldness held to a temple
that you never prayed to, but you wish you had now..


You walk out a new man, respecting that
             I'm the  fire and the smoke,
                            and if you want to breath
                    
                               you better **** the ground and make

sure your words stay down.
I'm in the light
                           but I have friends in the dark.
        I'm on probation but shades have different
                               pockets that I fill deep..

Know pardon my words I have things on my
                  wrist that are life lessons,
    you ain't nothing but something to burn at my bequest.

I ain't got no signal,
              to tell your boys that

your shallow, shallow graved

beyond that your silent and I
                    throw gravel of silent
words over your face.

what that's all your worth.

I ain't got no signal to #hashtag
            you been died
                      after I shot you full

of body shots of verbal body shocks..



I never got your followers on my phone cos
            flakiness doesn't get followed but
                                 just shallow graved.

I poured water over you, cos a cap isn't worth
   finishing you off,

                     na my words collateral damage

on your form your slumped
                    blooded but no blood falling.

You need to realise you haven't got a shoot off,
            and your riddled with insecurities that
    

                  you and yours will have to either
   be buried in shallow graves or respect my
                                                            word around town.

Making my way up town,
         chaves  all-round.

And single mums with multiple
                          fathers wondering
                 with pushchairs  around.

And the kids miss there dads,
               one of there
                    multiple other half's..

        but mummy doesn't let
                           them come around.

Staring blankly ahead the crack heads
          head off to the job centre to
                  collect that Jiro that'll be...

Be in there arm, and they need it,
             and they want it now.
                       But the dealer got busted
before there next round.....

And people stare and  wander if they'll be
                   pretending to be homeless,
             scrounging for those lose coins
to get there
                  next fix injected down.

Making my way up town,
                people passing me by,

So many people walking around there
   cant be this much dole dosers
                                          walking around.

I sit on a seat and watch the world
                                                pass me by.
                              And I, and I just wonder

how many kids are walking around the town
               when schools open.
Yet I see them chaving around,
     the country is doomed,
                     as I see them plodding aimlessly

                

                                               around ..


This is me making my way up town,
            and I wonder if I'll get mugged
                      by some ****** that can't get a
job cos there benefits pay more than my

                       full time job makes,

But I still need this watch,
             but I wonder if I hadn't battered the
  **** out of this ****, would I have seen tonight.

Making my up town knuckles bruised with satisfaction.

  That I made my way up town, and I know that
                          I'll smile in the crowd because ill
           be proud after my shift


that I come home to you tonight.

People always ask me
             how do I stay calm,

I tell them, that I send a snapchat
            of a shallow grave,

          saying

                          #Wish you were here,

And for some reason,
                 there not annoying anymore.

The first lesson of life
is to tie your shoe laces.

That way life cant
  unexpectedly trip you up

when you
          
                          least expect it.

We can all be better,

        for that one moment.

We can touch a
               heartbeat
              and show that even though


were at our lowest.

we can raise someone

                 higher just when they need it.

Could find it,
               looking deeper towards

the light, then I collapsed within
              the darkness...

It was so bright, so lovely onyx
                petals lacerating me


like i was opening the door to a better place.

My blood was the nurture to open wounds
            that needed to show the bone,


            before I could heal from the  fall.

You never knew me, till you glued every
                scar after opening it to realise


that.. beauty was beneath every scar.

The luminosity blinded, headed my growth,
          for to grow,
I needed to be blind to see



                                  my purpose..

If you ever think,
    that I'm talking out


of tune with you...


I'll sing it out of rhyme,
    just so you know I mean
           what I say,

that your a...

F###ing dip s##ting chlamydia
                festering Fu#k weasel...

Gosh that was at least £30
             in the swear jar....


30 you ask? its good to keep somethings

                                   to yourself.. #andbreath..

We are only as
                  wise as our

last mistake.
  
            For without hiccups,
                 we never realise
that we can also be wrong.

   "Yes you may be hungry,
                      but eating to fast

                 has its consequences..

Learn well, chew well
              and remember that
             with every error...
                          we can climb


one more step.

And realise that,
           we may trip over our ego
and tumble,
              but once we learnt from it.


We know to take our time.

We may ink, or pen,
          or be vocal on the
        
                                   words,

that turn to emotions.

                Invoking our
                                fear,
                         love,
                    sight..

Beyond the view that
            we never realised
that even if our legacy is
                               momentary.

If we can move one,
                move a moment,


then we know that we have
               meant something.

       That's helped someone connect
to our emotional state when we,
                                     I wrote this
                                                         piece..

Though we build a tower
       we can still not
       touch the
                          stars..

The same old tarnish,
  but you try to paint over
      the old you.

But stains show through,
   you may have glossed over
                     past frailties.

Changing your shade doesn't
             change the fact that

you may be re-born.

           But reflections never change,
and its clear even though you painted
over, your still the original underneath..

Your worse than before,
                 same hate,
                       same lies...
But a  fresh paint job just
            hides the rust underneath..

Our words may age,

                  but the pie of meaningful thought



                                      is always fresh..

I was never her air-balloon
     she was always deflating my
words that never took off.

I was grounded never reaching
      higher than she wanted me to rise.

My rope that I tried to release,
       was tied down with her negative
        weight that was pulling me down.

I was grounded never reaching
        higher than she wanted me to rise.

I was the  Hindenburg,
             she was the static that ignited me..
burning my dreams to ashes on scorched earth...

I was grounded never reaching
        higher than she wanted me to rise.

I thought she was an angel, but she was
        the devil bringing me lower than I'd
sank before. Could I sink lower than her.

I was grounded never reaching
        higher than she wanted me to rise.

But she thought she rose higher till I deflated
              her with home truths.
   Now I'm free floating higher now the weight
of my past is released.
                  I was never afraid to reach new heights
and now I'll float further now I'm free...

Be the reason the chicken
                        crossed the road..

Ask it to jump
                      in your bucket...

Be the reason the air
                                        turns cold
        when you enter a room,




                            haunt them all.

It was void less on the dead tree branch,
or what was once something reaching
for the heavens but now it is rootless.

Digging into the earth, like a tombstone
of remembrance entwined in razor wire
                                                            ­   woes.

It was cur once, now it is cut upon even in
death, every breath of life the world temps
                           it with just cuts deeper.

And the onyx crow, just perches on it.
             silent, it just gazes at the others
neatly put into shallow graves of despair.

They are naked for all to see, for all to gaze upon.
     stripped of decency. Shallow graves tease as though
they wish to flourish, roots are dismembered.


But where the branch fell, where the dismembered
remanence ****** of self horizontal.
           When a tree falls no one hears it...

When the now guillotined life falls,
        it fell upon its executioner..
   In the woods now one hears you fall..

They bleed into the wood, the egg that hadn't
hatched now cracked open, a chick will no longer
             fly high but sit on this deathly stripped void.

Every now and then, when I look out my window,
         I see the field, and a crow with gapping vision.
And a silhouette of someone....

There neck arched and a smile crocked,
                 as if to say this is a coffin above ground..
And there slowly rotting in the earth that took
                                       them all...

When a tree falls, when the leaves are stripped bare,
             only the bones show, and it like those before
are just images of what fell when they decendedly silenlty.

Please hide me...

    It knows I'm here!


It's waiting till the light
Illumiates, so I can see it.

Never hiding in the onyx.

It wants me to see it,
Knowing that it knew I



                  Saw it.


You think the light
     Grants you sevatude...

Playing keys you don't
         Know have a meaning.

They want you
     To know there coming...


Sunsets hide there intentions.
     They want you to know
What's about to happen.


They want illumination,
    So you know whats about to digest

      every moment.

Your screams are numbed.
   But inside they hear you scream.

Error 502
     The bane of my existence.


The pen frustrated,
  And on mobile..

CAPITALS on every
     start of the line..

Why is it broken?
   Has eliot obsconded
         from us..

I need to write,

as my pen is leaking
     On my hand

Friends, we may not live
in the same street,  
the same postcode or estate,
time may eventually pass us by.

But I know that even though we
don't see much of each other.
I still see you as the friend,
that I saw all those yesterday's.


Ye you may be older, you hiding grey?
You may have tails to tell,
but in the end you've friend

and that'll never end.


Ps you still owe me a fiver from 1998

My loneliness always
showed in a singular
                                 season.

Winters failing is when
        the snows fell.

       It showed only my
                                footsteps.

Singular,
    no one,
            nothing beside me
            together at my side.

It was a deep imprint of how
             I felt, deep regret,
that no one imprinted on me.

I leave little holes of sorrow
            as tears sink lower
                             then me.

Winter is my dejection I often
            walk beside others cold
imprints to make it look like
           I'm not alone.

But reality is cold and I'll
always only see my footprints
                                  behind me.

The early bird
    Doesn't catch the
                   Worm.

Because the worm
   Isn't stupid!

It's still fast asleep...




    I'm going back to bed....

There are wolves at the door,
        but we will never let
them get there claws into you.

We are looking for the princes
  that'll treat you right..

And  we know you'll defend them,
          the princes when the time comes.

Your strong my daughter,
            raised that your stronger

than anything that'll get in your way.

            Your the meaning to our life.

But your free, and your stronger than
           any before you.

                                      Kick there arses..

When the last shell fell,
  and the ground was cold.

The land was marked
    by the red petals
that had fallen like the
            lives now cold.

Names of those wrote on
every flag of crimson that
                           had departed.

It was the eleventh moment,
           of an eleventh occasion.
Where the guns fell silent
       like those not going home.


We honour the past,
                   to live the future.

For without there sacrifice,
     we wouldn't be able to live

the life we have now.

Thank you for those who fell,
            those who came home.
Leaving apart of themselves that
               is over there even now.

The last shell fell, but some echoes
                        never fade over time.
Echoing through life hoping to
             never fall like that again.

Thank you,

For the freedom
         For this day
For each night.
And for our freely given rights.

Thank you,

For what you did
              For the day you fell,
For the last breath you had
       And the reason I'm alive.

Thank you,

Even though
   We never meet.
Even though
    I don't know
            your face.

But you are on my mind
On the eleventh month
          Of the eleventh day.

And at this time I bow
My head, every year in
           gratitude & respect.

I can hold a star,
         but no matter how
hard you try..

it'll fade,

          diminish...

from the brightest moment


            in your life.


                                                  eventually
it will become less than the brightness

of a heartbeat...

And just like that its gone.

It wasn't your fault, never apologise
      somethings were always meant

to fade before us.

We could hold on but like grains
                          of sand it feel though
                        before your teary eyes...

I never took the moments
as if they were momentary
                          singular
                    ­          finite.
                                       .
                                       .
You were my breath   I
           never knew how to
take one with out you..

Unison in inhalation,
                          exhalation
of each others moments.


But I know that with every
              breath that your there
with me.


I 'll always look at you,
       as time is transfixed on

our breathes,

              and I know that when  

I exhale there is whispered moments
           that will say "I love you,

even though not heard by others,
       these words always escape our lips.

Today wasn't like tonight,
        but more like the afternoon


that I have been
             waiting for...

since I'd gotten up.


                     "Yawns,

He was blind,
   but when he read the braille

of her shaven stubble it said

         one thing..

⠓⠕⠗⠝⠽
             *****...

We live
              for a moment.


                    But
         die endlessly,
for an eternity.

If the green grass wasn't washed up
                  on the shores of paradise.

I'd prefer to walk on the mud...

I'm the verses others
                  wish to syllabise,

But I'll be to wordy to condense

into rhyme or reason..


I never configure to a word
                                            count,

To abstract for other to realise
        the meaning of my existence.
my lifes just to complicated to put







                                       into any kind of words.
                                                                               .
                                                                               .
                                                                               .
                                                                               .
                                                                               .
                                                                               .
                                                                               .

When the path is empty,
   and no other tracks are

visible


                 we need to see if these

footsteps are worth the time..

For if no other walked before,

how do we have a realisation

that this is a path that leads to
                     where we wish to tread upon.

But if others were fearful of walking here,
          was it due to there insecurities?

And was I the first one to venture on a
    path of discovery of  yet unfulfilled
               destinations.

But willing to discover
                              what awaited
be it in vain or
a fulfilment yet not recognized.

A seed may divide a boulder,
             life a verse can dived a
                                         sentence.

We must understand that the
smallest voice can be more vocal than


a country that shouts but is unheard.


We are all grains that can open up
            the hardest point.

And when we grow, our roots will
             cultivate beneath the oppression

that stifles that will eventually reach forth.

On the tracks of our lives,
                          the autumn of life
may fall on the trail we may travel.

But one may falter on this journey  
                   and the remnant path,
but if we brush aside the failing  
                                             that fell before us
we can travel further than we ever realised.

Less education leads to a society
that cant grasp the concepts  
                                     of the future.

You will be a carcass of a dead past,
              that others will remember.
As an ignorance of one that is fearful
             of ones that could carry a people.

But laid them down to the ignorance
               of what could be a educated nation,
now one of perpetual stupidity...

An ignorant one is one
             that will falter
beneath the footsteps
                    of those educated in the future


and not the past ignorance that others cling too.