Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes? As it is, I am in Recruitment Which is itself a rollercoaster life Through the peaks and troughs of Hell For all my hard work I get a few scant rewards Which are like a few drops of water In the mighty Pacific Ocean And turn out to be as ephemeral As the life of a mayfly Just as I am dealing with all this My wisdom teeth decide to crash the party in style Bringing chaos and mass destruction From all sides The dentist takes one look at my mouth And confirms my worst fears The wretched wisdom teeth have to go There is no escaping it Moreover, it has to be a surgical extraction Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes?
On the D-Day My head is spinning madly My brain is on overdrive And I find concentrating on work more difficult Than even predicting the stock market However, to my pleasant surprise The surgeon is so calm and reassuring And the process is so smooth That is, apart from the pain induced by the anesthetic injection That I get a feeling as if all my troubles have ended However, I could not have been more wrong After a few hours The effects of the painkiller begin to wear off Slowly, but surely Eating food feels more awkward Than a conversation between a boy and a girl Who have just broken up And to cap it all Talking isn't exactly pain-free either I might've enjoyed a bit of rest today But come tomorrow, I need to get back to work Which involves a truckload of calls And as per the dentist I shouldn't talk too much However, as far as Recruitment is concerned There is no such thing as "too much" Why does trouble always have to come in twos and threes?
Poem about my dental fears and struggles, combined with my struggles in Recruitment.
I miss my dentist. I miss the smell of disinfectant in his office, The sound of the water pick The taste of his latex gloves in my mouth. I miss the one-sided conversations about the philosophies of life. I miss hearing about how his wife and his kids are doing. The gossip about Roxanne’s new boyfriend or the new shipment of fluoride that just came in. I miss the sound of the secretary's keyboard as she types up the report stating that I am cavity free. I miss him telling me how healthy and beautiful my smile is. I miss him thoughtfully listening to my life complaints as he examines my x-rays. I miss his advice, the wise counsel he’d give regarding my schooling or love life and the way he’d wink when he says I’m good for another six months. But those six months couldn’t come fast enough. Jenny broke up with her ex for the 4th time, Paul quit his job before a drug test, Sherry dropped out of college, my roommate is pregnant, Dad bought a pet kangaroo, my apartment is infested with small beetel things, I’ve only eaten ramen for the past 3 days and Cason proposed to me. I don’t know how to handle it all. I miss my therapist. I mean my dentist.
Im sitting in the dentist office while the doctor drills my teeth, I wonder if they realize I’m so full of holes I might slide right through this seat, They can fill my cavities, But They’ll never make me whole, Cause they can fix my teeth, But they can’t fix my soul.
She gave ma a happy pill ME a happy pill, not Ma a happy pill
Tree frogs are my favotire amphibians there so cute ya wanna buy them an ice cream but there aint no bug ice scream
Yes I’m fine than k you
Gosh this is still fun
And they gave me a new toothbrush although I use the super-golly-gee-****-quadro-toothbrush-thing-that-lights-up-and-stuff
Yes the pill is wearing off sure wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Why do they all put their hands in my mouth at the same time
Lets see thats four hands
And then they yell at me to relax
But yeah I got a pill qnd I am sooooooooooooooooooo relaxed
My teeth are fine
My teeth are green no wait my teeth or clean because if they were green they wouldn’t be clean
Dr. Joyce is the best
There’s still something to be said for tree frogs
Yes I can walk to the car whoops
Yes I can opine the passenger door
Yes I can belt my seat fashion
Or somethingthis has been fun
Thank you yes six monyhsts…
Your ‘umble scrivener’s site is: Reactionarydrivel.blogspot.com. It’s not at all reactionary, tho’ it might be drivel.
Lawrence Hall’s vanity publications are available on amazon.com as Kindle and on bits of dead tree: The Road to Magdalena, Paleo-Hippies at Work and Play, Lady with a Dead Turtle, Don’t Forget Your Shoes and Grapes, Coffee and a Dead Alligator to Go, and Dispatches from the Colonial Office.