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3.5k · Sep 2018
Dream
Pax Sep 2018
I fall into the deepest dream.
Hug by darkness, i give in.
Then by miracle i was torn
to be reborn.
it's been long...
3.3k · Dec 2015
Contentment’s path
Pax Dec 2015
The fringes of fate frozen my fingers upon reaching you

………But destiny’s hands are within my grasp…

Then I used my mind’s free will to take hold of it and reach you

Together I’ve achieved fulfilling joy with you at my side

.....…towards a journey to Contentment’s path…

September 25, 2012
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1042743/
This was one of those poems that I am happy to say, I didn't write a sad poem today. That's what I say last time, been very busy as of lately...
3.2k · Oct 2014
life-support
Pax Oct 2014

.
I’m
Drowning with disappointments.
I feel breathless with regrets.
My heart is on life-support.
I’m stupid and very dense
for repeating the same mistake
over and over
again
.




© Pax
written: July 18, 2012
ConcretePoetry
(I hate myself, but not too much to die for.)
disappointments and regrets makes the heart and mind weary, that's how it feels like, atleast for me.
Pax Nov 2014
We* often *Owned, what We don’t Own.
Being  Possessive, We become Invasive.

                 - We often Neutralize, what We can’t Realize.
                     - Full Realization comes after the Actual Destruction.
Creating our own Ending.



*© Pax
a philosophical pondering of mine and my concerns about how WE(humans) are being destructive in our own world & nature itself or sometimes we are too blind to notice the destructive path we walk upon, realizing too late.

if you want to know more about my thoughts about this poem follow this link here:    http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1328378/
3.2k · Nov 2015
happy mask
Pax Nov 2015
I tried to stop being depress,
and start making friends.
But then…
I build too many walls,
Just to hide my flaws
always fearing they’ll crumble.
And...
In the end I can’t stop my thoughts
when I’m alone, reoccurring questions it sought.
Burdens comes falling,
Rushing like the tide, washing
pushing away
the happy mask
I wore.
I haven't been writing much as of late. Maybe because like the first two lines said. Yes, I did make some friends and bond with them. It's great being able to joke around and laugh here and there... But I know deep down I still built too many walls, they can't see what's there, Perhaps I am too good in wearing this mask, that some people didn't see what's lurking behind it.
3.2k · Aug 2014
Restlessness
Pax Aug 2014
Restlessness makes my nights sleepless
Overloaded thoughts make my lights stranded

My mirrored reflection affects my emotion
Finding the old me, now lost in the sea, never ending
Waves that never cease my ease, bewildering

Kisses pushes me to the dark,, hugs causes me to bark
Stars from far above filled this emptied love

Voices Rant, faceless haunt, memories taunt
Goodbyes are beginning, the ends are starting


© Pax
3.2k · Mar 2015
Organization ~
Pax Mar 2015

Organized teaching limits some learning
Blinds us from truth, the shiny is alluring.

Organized media sometimes mislead information
Their freedom has boundaries of confrontation.

Organized politics always have hidden agenda
        - A self-absorb Propaganda.

5th one...  two more left, and still trying to edit it.
Pondering in Rhyme.
thank you all for reading...

any thoughts?
this piece is getting controversial...
3.1k · Feb 2017
Being Apart ~
Pax Feb 2017
      In contrary of the distance we take.
          Goodbyes are just as hard to make.
        
          I wish the cold will stay away from our hearts.
          It’s our toughest decision we’ve made - being apart.

          I give to you a piece of my soul for you to hold.
          You give yours, I cherish like gold.
        
          Three years is a short time away from each other,
          Yet as long as our hearts are entwine together
          Our love is as sweet as forever.
*


© 2014
"does long distance relationship really last? I think it does for some people, but it is not for everyone. I guess it really depends how stretchable your love is..." ~ pax

it was a prompt for my little book jiffy's love.
3.0k · Feb 2015
Relationship(10w)
Pax Feb 2015

Brief moments, temporarily
to build it lasting needs hard work

its either work or with someone, i've learned that in life, hard labor must be done to built stability.
2.9k · Jul 2014
Faceless Poet
Pax Jul 2014
Trap in an isolated era.
View me as faceless persona
Of make-belief identities
In this world filled with fantasies.

I write because I am tired,
To pen the burden in this poet’s ride.



*© Pax
2.7k · Oct 2015
Secrets
Pax Oct 2015
When you have lots of secrets
to lie comes easy.
a quote, 10 words
.
.
.
.
I guess to lie is all you do best at the moment.
2.7k · Jan 2015
passerby
Pax Jan 2015

In the real world
     I am merely a passerby.
Finding no home to call my own.

I walk the dusty ***** streets
                  So lost and all alone.
Why then should it be this way?
Is this the modern way of life?
   Am I to always suffer loneliness
        A life beset by doubt.

a unfinished piece that I can never finish. I guess that's just it!

updated, a huge thank you to sir Joe Cole.
2.6k · Apr 2015
Afraid to drown
Pax Apr 2015

I bathe in milk
The Ripples along the water are as fine as silk
NO! This is not something I fancy
In life, sometimes you just want to try
In the end we just have to stop the stupid lie.
To live or die
To breathe or just drown
Seems everybody wears a crown
NO! I lost mine a long time ago.
Perhaps temporary is all I could have, so I dare go…
Grab what’s on hand
Never expecting high demand
Then I get lost, soaked
And a little broke
To start a new beginning
Is still out of reach, I’m screeching…
Not in pain but in the cloud that blocks the way
Wishing the fear will stay at bay
Never reaching my awful screeching
Oh CHOICES! I wish I ACTED ON YOU differently
NOT fearing disappointing those who support me.
But hey! What is done cannot be undone
I stand in what I’ve chosen, I never run…
I tried my best to stop my mouth
From reasoning-in or reasoning-out
For your choice is your own responsibility
So I stop blaming others for my problematic probability
I bathe again, in warm water this time
Hoping to wash away the disease that struck me
Faults of my own neglect
Laziness and Tiresome – and its ripple effects
Now I fear I’ll drown…

........... a type of monologues i guess....
partly inspired by this photo:
http://manuelestheim.deviantart.com/art/On-drowning-393658861

a friend of mine hit something when she said:

Sometimes we are all afraid of drowning in the choices we have made. But there's nothing to do but go on. The water of time washes many things away.
2.6k · Dec 2014
Indecisiveness
Pax Dec 2014
Indecisiveness**
            enough as it is,
I stay in the confines of my comfort,
choices I begun to prolong.
Waiting for something
probably won’t come.

I walk back and forth,
And climbing ladders  
             - up and down,
       an unchanging routine
    draining the life-force
         of my pretend smile.
Sluggishly the plot-holes
       starts to appear
   messing the careful laid-out script
                 I master to act.
Barriers starts to crack, little by little
I gather the courage
   to put the imaginary duck-tape
   to hold them together
       a little while longer
until the final choice, is made sure
without fear and hesitation.
I am starting to put this piece to rest now, I have made my final decision from the long hold of Indecisiveness I felt for the past several weeks or even months. I am quitting my work here in Saudi, and plan to go home this January 2015, back to the Philippines for many months of rest for a time. For three years I've stayed here in this country, it's quite good but the management who handles my employment is really terrible, I can't take it anymore. I know quiting without backing up for another job to transfer into is a not a good idea, still i am taking the risk. I am now willing to start another long journey in job seeking. wish me luck, my friends. Thank you all for reading me, I am blessed to have this pen to penned the execessive emotions...
2.5k · Jun 2017
company
Pax Jun 2017
you don't know how to carry
the burden of being alone
you can try by pretending
to have company.

But in the end of the
day, sleep
is your
best friend.
just a simple shout-out to self
2.4k · May 2018
How do you love the Unloved?
Pax May 2018
Too many shattered Mirrors
Mirroring my sins.

Too many walls
Hindering my wings.

My growth remains
  still
as silence Kills.

How do you love the
Unloved?
I was never a writer
I was just some poet
Who seek some
understanding in my
understatement @pax

at times I feel so tired...
thanks to those who still read me..
2.4k · Sep 2014
a sketch of creation
Pax Sep 2014
Every Part
        *E
very Stroke
                  Every Line
                           Every Curve
                                    Every Shape
           to start somewhere
                   and everything else
                                        will follow.


*© Pax
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/985343/
2.4k · Oct 2015
i miss some chances
Pax Oct 2015

I took a pass on how risky love was,
and take the easy road
that was laid upon me...

Then I realize
i miss some chances
on happiness
just to
shape-up a future
that will always be uncertain...

Sometimes I think I made the wrong choices, just to made myself better, ready and stable to someone, only to end up being afraid to love someone, afraid that I might not be good enough, afraid if someone see my flaws they will just leave me heartbroken. Now I am just used to being alone, not wanting to take charge on love, thinking that it is not really meant for me, or nobody would...
2.4k · Feb 2015
unworthy
Pax Feb 2015

I keep losing a piece of myself every time I feel unworthy of your time,
          then I realized it’s not you, it’s me wasting my time in pleasing you.
      So I stop and pick-up the pieces of what’s left,
                  for me to move on and start caring for myself.

There are times when you give everything to the point that you don’t know yourself anymore, then you realize you had enough.

I wrote this when I was trying to write a mini booklet quotes of self-worth, reminders to self. The first is here: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/764171/self-worth/
2.4k · Jul 2014
Alone
Pax Jul 2014
Insecurity* is my *Enemy
Lonesome is my Friend
Emptiness is my Safe Haven


*© Pax
I feel so alone again
I feel so empty yet again
in this safe haven... sigh...
2.4k · Nov 2015
you're not there
Pax Nov 2015

In another time,
will you still love me?

In another place,
will you still meet me?

In a fleeting moment,
will our stars meet?

I guess I should give up,
knowing you're not there...

but then I'll better wait,
Patience is all I have left...
2.3k · Oct 2013
~ dark veil ~
Pax Oct 2013
What is right from wrong?
What is worth keeping from what’s meant releasing?

From a dark veil you hide
Obligated, you abide
A silent prison you call home
That’s life in this dome

Wield by a strong patrol
Withheld by unyielding control

Flying has a price
It always has, a bounty to arise

Dominated,
Cultivated,
Motivated
By a driven force
Subside our hunger course
From the will to adapt
For what’s just right, we tap.














.
.
.
:my Quotes:
Some things are our guidance, but it doesn’t meant to withheld us from swimming.

*© Pax
i think this link will explain what is meant by this piece
here: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1242562/
2.3k · Feb 2015
Poetry (10W)
Pax Feb 2015

To
you,
I
found
comfort
to
my
weary
restless
heart
.


© pax
with it, i understand myself better
with it, i give patience
to understand people better
with it, i learned to accept and love
- myself a little bit better than before
2.3k · Feb 2017
Corrupt
Pax Feb 2017
Most corrupt people
are already rich,
their hunger is much
harder to satisfy.

*


© 2013
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1256386/

I believed in Karma
But often times I think many powerful people has avoid it
By merely starving the hungry.
Karma is good, yet it takes time, longer or shorter it may seems…
It always starts in small doses.
2.2k · Jan 2013
karma
Pax Jan 2013
There is a time and place where karma will take it's leap.
Just observed then you'll see.



*© Pax
2.2k · Feb 2015
talk to myself
Pax Feb 2015

Walls upon walls of soundless treatment
I talk to the voiceless whisperer.

Whenever it gets too lonely and too silent, I talk to myself. I confide to the voices of my mind/head. I guess that's my crazy to sane life.
'Me, Myself & I'
*
2.2k · Jan 2016
~I deserved to live~
Pax Jan 2016

I am life
Unwanted, Unplanned, Unexpected
Or perhaps
a failed expectation.

There are many major reason
to
Why oh Why
I was a mistake

But there is one important reason why I needed to be born?

“I deserved to live”

What is so wrong for me to have what you have?
To breathe what you breathe
To eat what you eat
To experience
life itself.

You may not care for me, but I am sure someone would.

I anticipate the future what is like to live
what is like to have my own choice
now a little too late.

You know maybe someday
There will come a time that mankind
will lose the ability to reproduce,
the signs is already there
you just don’t see it.

Often times man create its own demise.

I wish you just have let me live and then give me away,
That I would understand.

I wish I could be a test-tube baby
Perhaps that I would have a chance
Of entering this god given world.

All are too late now.

I am sheer whisper,
A pleading spirit who wants to be heard
I came out of nothing penned down
in someone’s emptied mind
written in this emptied paper he holds so dear.

I am nothing but just a smeared ink
in this white sheet
laying around
waiting to be understood.

I was uncertain weather to post it here or not, but Mother Teresa's speech on receiving the novel peace prize brought some tears to why I did wrote this.
my reasoning:
In conclusion to all of this stuff, I write not to open an issue, but to let the young ones and others to be aware of this issue. Life is a gift, and everyone deserves it.
the link below is the first post and all of my thoughts in the subject matter:
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1246156/
2.2k · Jun 2015
strong enough
Pax Jun 2015

I’m strong enough not to let you see me fall apart
So I hide my cries between my sighs.

I’m strong enough to stand alone against the cold landscape
So I hide my sadness between fake faces.

I crave, I starve, I wonder
And get lost in the process.
Then end up getting back to where I started.

How far will I stay strong?
How far will I carry along this dying song?
When will I ever belong?
......

..
.

I always talk on how poetry is an embark journey of mine. But more often I came back with recurring questions. I can say “I’m strong enough” but for how long, how far long will I go, or how much more I can take… big sighs…
2.2k · Apr 2016
Clown I
Pax Apr 2016
I am the clown
In this town.

To where i am the center
Of their teasing
And jokes
As if they never see me
Frown.

All they see is my
Joker's hat,
That everything
They throw
At me
Never hurts.

I guess that's all i
Ever be...

Perhaps it's my fault
For letting them think
That way,
I never fight
A war between egos.

Silence and smiles
Are all i ever
Masked
Myself...
So tiring to pretend that their jokes never hurt...
Im crying inside my friends...
2.1k · Oct 2014
A little life, A little love
Pax Oct 2014

A little life is what I asked
A little love is what I wanted
but you give space
Emptiness I didn't need.



© Pax
2.1k · Feb 2017
Observant
Pax Feb 2017
I am someone who
sometimes doesn't
really care much
of what's happening
around him
yet i am
a careful observant
who just
Kept silent.*


© 2017
2.1k · May 2015
landmines
Pax May 2015

In poetry I unload to explode
To break free from all the dynamite
I usually kept hidden
My passive nature makes me resistant
to its pollutants.
Sometimes they’re more like landmines
Awaiting for someone
Who stomp the wrong buttons
Then detonate
And explode between my shouts
And cries.

In all honestly
No matter how resistant I am to become resilient
my core is too vulnerable to crumble
By a simple backslash of toxic tongues
And suddenly I fall in my knees to simply walk away
No battle is worth an effort
When you know it’s just pride
Battling himself.

The poem speaks for itself, but I just want to confirm yes, I tend to bottled-up my feelings. That is why sometimes I easily get depressed. I don’t speak-out a lot or just careful not to hurt anyone with my words. So in poetry I rant almost everything so that it will not eat me into depression.

Its hurts me when I look back, to those people who say mean things to me that I simply ignore because it’s not worthy to argue anymore, they tend to get stuck on their own opinion, too closed to have an open mind.
2.1k · May 2015
You & I
Pax May 2015
Would it be okay if I say, I’ve had enough of your presence in my life?
You’re too much of everything I hate
of all the things, you annoy me.
I wish you were gone and would fade away like you never existed.
But still you were there reminding me
of all the wrong things,
The bad memories,
The irritating personalities,
                   The foolish behaviors,
                                   The selfish self,
                                            and lastly
                                   The sad and gloomy
                                          State of mind.

I did something to hide you,
I can simply toss you aside,
Put a mask on your face,
        Do a charade
              Making you aware that you don’t exist,
              and a complete cover-up of make belief.
I’ve done everything possible I can to coat or erase your every existence
But then I realized you’re a part of me
That can never be erased
A reflection of me
The reality of me
You can never be without me   and    I can never be without you
because
all in all
you’re
me
.
"i wrote this when i was really down with myself
i always blame myself."

- that's what i said way back when I wrote this last July 2012. Now I've grown to understand myself better, accepting the things that I needed to embrace and just live the way I wanted without hate in my system. Yes, I guess the hate is still there, it doesn't fade easily, we always have our insecurity, sometimes it helps us stay grounded on our feet, but most of the time it hinders us in doing something good for us. I am glad that I found comfort, creativity, acceptance & understanding in poetry without it, I'll be exploding in every path I take...  Thank you for reading my friends.
2.1k · Feb 2017
expressive times
Pax Feb 2017
We've lived to expressed those wonders
we thought and felt,
in the depths of our emotional journey,  
our words sours
in highs and lows.
-
a fine balance
at crucial times
equally stable
in fate and its tales.
-
essence of time
solidify our strength
through choices predicts our
future yet more often
never to the exact extent.
-
our old sheets may fade
and our ink might run dry
we should never
lose ourselves
even the smallest
drop of hope
creates big ripples.

2.1k · Feb 2016
empathy
Pax Feb 2016
before you'll able
to help
others...

understand your
pain first and
confide
to
your
inner
being...

upon listening
you'll reflect
your own,
by then
you can
be connected
to their heart strings...

empathy is a blessing
as it is a burden.
it hurts you more
than it pains them...

just stay
on a steady
phase,
then you'll be
okay...
it feels like i just translated what empathy means... just in my own words, my own way of understanding...
2.1k · Dec 2018
Ocean ripple
Pax Dec 2018
A rippling effect
has the ocean
grace us, love
never left us
apart
as time
stumble into
a halt
turning
bad memories
into a
nightmare
simply forgotten,
we changed
for the
better...
A prompt of a pic. I took, see my instagram.
2.1k · Mar 2017
inevitable
Pax Mar 2017

From time to time
I feel blue
and cook my own stew.
Its bland and
taste good enough
for my stomach.

I knew from the start
that my cooking
isn't really that great
nor it's appetising.
Atleast
my milk is
sweet.
I'm not fond of sodas
dislike the fact that
it boils my
stomach.

Food, for now
they're within
reach, though
must someday
will come -
starvation is
inevitable



I cooked up a metaphor...
My life in dual meaning.
2.1k · Jun 2015
fortunate
Pax Jun 2015
I stop counting my blessing
And start just being thankful
Of each passing day.

I may not be lucky in love
Or blessed with good things
Or great looks LIFE has to offer
But I am fortunate enough to live this LIFE
As good as I wanted it to be.
.A QUOTE.
We are still fortunate. Just me, being optimistic about my life, a start of my new aging life, another year of living a new age. Be thankful.
Pax Nov 2015
Sometimes,
*my Life has no direction
Choices was laid down for me
whatever what makes them happy...

It has meaning but has no sense of path
It flows like the river
it never stop...

my life feels stagnant
stuck with a slow progress
seems too redundant...

my life has rooted its fears, it *****
no matter how you cut, it grows back
roots rooted to the very core, I'm stuck....

Sometimes, I am not sure I am good enough.
2.0k · Nov 2016
an affair
Pax Nov 2016
i didn't know i wasn't enough for you
i tried my best to filled the spaces between us
worked hard to keep something alive
yet i wasn't enough to make your bed happy
and my spark was never enough for you to stay
grounded, even our seedling was taken for-granted.

i should fight, and work hard
to keep the walls from crumbling apart.
though i exhaust all my energy
still it wasn't enough
because despite all
you've lost your
love
for
me
.

i was move by a tv series about an affair of his wife. i knew i need to write something so this feeling would go away... oh, i didn't know when your so attach to a character in a film/tv you'll feel all the emotions and make you go weak... oh, well decided to share this.. thanks for reading.
2.0k · Mar 2016
droplets of tears
Pax Mar 2016
i leave droplets of tears,
whenever &
whatever
i write
...
.

perhaps ....
2.0k · Jan 2016
the passerby
Pax Jan 2016
along with my useful lively self
i stroll the path of faceless crowds
they might not know me
I might not know them
but I'm glad as I watch
them do their story
and I on a steady phase
create the background
of my life,
the passerby...

a bit raw



i guess this will be the second part of my poem passerby.
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1023562/passerby/

thank you for reading me...
2.0k · Apr 2019
Heaven
Pax Apr 2019
My heaven is in you.
Truly i wish ill find you.
2.0k · Jan 2017
cloudy
Pax Jan 2017
There are days
inside the shelter of my core
it rained and most days are cloudy.
In my core I’ve wish the sun would shine
at day, and the star will glow at night, after
a
l
l
*
t
h
i
s
time
it never did
anymore
like before.
i still have lots to learn in this concrete poetry thingy, because i really wanted to formed it like an umbrella, looks like i failed, it looks like a lampshade...sigh...thanks for reading.
1.9k · Apr 2017
Deserted Tears
Pax Apr 2017
I've driven myself in
to the valley of deserted
Tears.

To where it's too hot,
while living is an isolation.

There's no river nor
lush forest around,
its as dry as the desert
sands, then humidity
strikes your nerves
that you'll feel
overcooked.

The crimson sky
Bleeds of its inking
Beauty...

I on the other hand
solidify my strength
to ease the burden
I carry, as i lift myself
Little by little towards
A meaningful step
For SURVIVAL!

© pax
I wrote this as a means to remind myself for the beauty of life.
1.9k · Jul 2018
What makes a poem - a poem?
Pax Jul 2018
What makes a poem
- a poem?
Does it express your
emotional life and
the selfish deeds
it contains
.... then you shamelessly
Share it...

Does it really matter
someone might
read it or not?
Someone might
understand you or
not, does that really
matter?

In the world
we live in
many hearts
have died
for they don't
know how our
pen works.
How it does
- what it does.

When a poem
does all the
technicalities,
it may seeks
the power of
fame and fortune
but does it really
matter?

I may not understand
fully what makes a poem
- a poem. But behind all
of it, I'm just here
trying to write a poem
whom my heart
spoke out loud
like he never could.
"How many have to die
so that you can feel loved.
by Florence + the Machine"

you know her music resonates my darkness.
her music really tugs some heartstrings I
tried to hide.
1.9k · Sep 2016
I'll stay
Pax Sep 2016
Love, i wish you were near
and wipe away
my lonely tears.

Help me achieve a
Satisfying slumber
to swept away
Today's worries
and fears.

Please guide my heart
to never stray
and be braver than
A lions roar,
then
in your arm's reach
I'll stay.
Seeing someone who isn't there.
1.9k · Jun 2015
the art of poetry
Pax Jun 2015

To the world,
I share my words.
Expressed in verses
through Rhymes & Rhythm
It bleeds my life
as I unload my burdens.

I thank those who understand,
who cares to read
and relate
to the art of expressing
Yourself.

this is a little thank you note to all my friends who reads my scribbles.
1.9k · Oct 2016
Clown II
Pax Oct 2016
In my entourage
people laugh
I got used to it.

In my center stage
I was the comedian
who never likes
his job.

In my closing remarks
their entertainment
was fulfilled.
I on the other hand
got drained
from my mistakes
turned to be pretty
funny,
never was that
my intention.
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1630227/clown-i/

i guess i got used to it, being laugh at. a job that im forever tainted
well its okay, im good, im still strong to pull through, soon I'll get
out of this....

thanks, for reading
sometimes we just
needed to let this out
of our system...
1.9k · Aug 2015
Seeds
Pax Aug 2015
I planted my seeds
And for three years it’s still a sprout
Struggling in a harsh environment.

Many have flourished
Around it,
mine was left behind
with its slow progress...
This is how I describe myself. How far I've grown as a functional person within  society's & my humanity's needs.

sorry for not being around much, Right now I am on my vacation time back here in the Philippines. So I'll be back in just few more weeks to go of my vacation time left... Be back in September...
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