I once had a story I couldn’t wait to tell, a little girl with dreams about a world that went to hell. The sky looked pretty, the stars within her reach, her dreams escalated quickly to the ever tallest trees. No nook, no cranny did she wanted to leave unseen, no village, no valley that ever escaped from her dreams. The sky is the limit, she always believed, till the world came crashing on her little perfect dream. The lights were blinding, the sky turned dark, reality exploded like a burning car. Her dreams went quiet, her eyes became soaked, the day she realized the world was really a hellhole. The little girl grew up that day she was stared upon and laughed away. The sky looked vicious and the stars didn’t seem like they ever planned to be in the little girl’s reach.
I have a question for you: Do you know the brutal agony That wrenches your heart asunder When you have your child, Your flesh and blood, Torn viciously from you As you lie helplessly in bed Ignorant to the tormented crying of your baby?
I have a question for you: Do you know the burning fury That scorches and swarms in your soul When someone you loathe Can manipulate your every movement As if you are a foolish juvenile?
Do you know the roaring beast of betrayal That casts rotten, merciless shadows Over every bleak thing You lay your tortured, tear-pricked eyes upon?
Do you know the unrelenting guilt That destroys every comfort you desperately seek And drowns you in your own misery When your entire family die On your very conscience?
If so, then you are only A few steps closer to Understanding the torment That grinds me up every night Only to spit me out each morning For the hell dogs I called my friends To sniff at in disdain
You are only a few steps closer To entering the churning, Burning, Thrashing Sea that eats me whole When the fragile walls around my happiness Shatters into millions of pieces.
So I have a question for you: Do you have a single clue About the real world?
I put up walls To keep myself safe But they are breaking Exposing me to the outer world How can anyone live out here Nothing can save me or keep me safe You have made a mistake I'm not strong So how can I be the leader I wish everything would just go back Back to when you were here I am a disgrace You are the Hero that has misplaced
Do i want to live or be functional? i'm tired of waking up with a pit In my stomach but the Dull pain feels better than nothing So i’ll spend my days in front of Eyes that don’t feel Listening to scripted thoughts And i don’t want my medicine to kick in
Can i lay in knowing and not **** myself? I’ll sip something to fill my physical emptiness My tongue will take every drop with hate
I got an app to remind me to take my medicine
The hills are calling with their eyes and I want to lay and lay with your hands I wish you understood me the way i long for I wish you wanted to
I’m not functional. I feel the chaos in my bloodstream enough to Keep me alive and shaking As my fingertips run across my legs Oh, god left me so long ago Stranded to deal with everything myself
Will the mountains save me? Hold me in it’s arms and communicate to me That i can be ok? Will the ocean stir and boil when My feet touch the edge? Can the trees of metal lift me, Like a bird let me see the city, Fill me with a sense of comfortability?
I can’t do what i’m supposed to And i can’t do what’s good for me I don’t think there’s anything that could Make me or enable me to do so.
And ******* for hearing my words and Blinking, not trying to make a difference. **** everything that is still.
I live in a north river And my body whips with the current And i reach for the rocky land on the side Cut my hands on the points So i collapse into the water again Filling the nose and mouth with salt And disgust and the water isn’t Pure and clear blue anymore. i keep grabbing for more litter To make myself comfortable with. It never works.
so ill spend my day tearing myself apart in keys and ill neglect what is supposed to be beneficial to me and ill sit like a ******* sponge, dripping out until I dry and i'm uncomfortable to touch. I would feel better if anyone tried to understand. sometimes I wish I wasn't so hard to love and to know
To wake up of own volition, surrounded in warmth refreshed like when the moon comes around to full shine a wolf howl, with two small voices warbling after Inked veins run across spring-kissed skin inked as a flower, ever constant in impermanence and design All walk lines, and unexpected find common intersection in chocolate and popcorn and spider-like boys in flags shimmering as mirages tossed to the sky One unseen but listening, eyes glistening with your tears Red carpet ending finally goes to the deserved
Lessons, internalized, suddenly shine in the real world
Trying for a different style than usual- pretty words and ambiguous. Not sure how it turned out but hope you like it!
It's funny how everyone in the world Is busy fooling everyone else By putting on a mask. But as grow, We realise that's how it is. You see them, you make an assumption. And one fine day, You see the real person, Behind the fading mask! Welcome to the real world, kid! Where there is no room for emotions. All you need to do Is take up your mask, Look around if anyone's watching. Wear it. Move on. Fool others. But make sure you don't flow With the emotions. Make sure you move on practically, Without being fooled. Make sure you do not get carried away With the pseudo stuff. Real people don't exist in the real world. They are just found in the books. Or may be, they are there... somewhere. I believe, somewhere out of my reach. Maybe I can find them in the distinct list. Maybe someday, I'll be able to find them. But till then, It's funny, seeing, how everyone in the world Is busy fooling everyone else By putting on a mask. And let's admit, That after some point, We all ought to do this mask- task!