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Nylee 2d
The greed makes me feel hollow
I am losing all the treasure I have had
My need above others
My life more than theirs
I can't believe I could
But when I
I would repeat it again
I will hunger for more
No matter the others would starve
I change, become a monster.
Bony parts bruise faster.
I think to myself.
I look down at my arms. They are tinted yellow from the fading bruises.

Fatty parts bruise harder.
I think to myself.
I look down at my thighs, they have black spots scattered over them.

I sigh and touch my collarbones protruding from my body.
I stack the coins. I can fit 17 on each collarbone.

I look in the mirror and I know I am looking at a hollowed out skeleton, but all I see is me .. just as I've always looked, grey, boring, ordinary...
Matt Hews Mar 2
The promises you fed me were empty
leaving me
hungrier than I ever was
Charlotte Feb 5
The growling of my stomach reminds me I'm alive.

Over and over relapse after relapse, when will my body finally collapse?

Not eating for days, is it from the depression or for the control?

The control that I cannot grasp so I try harder and harder
as my heart beat gets softer and softer.

Never will I be thin enough but I can sure try if I can't control my mind, why not the size of my thighs.

Summer twenty-eighteen, five days of no food, five days of stumbling upstairs and stumbling from the hall to my room.

Falling in the shower, black spots in my vision.

Fall of twenty-eighteen, trying to recover, but now I scream in the spring.

In my mind, I yell not to eat hoping to control the storm of insecurities in my head.
I'm sorry
I'm brOKen Jan 12
I feed my habits
And ignore my needs
As distasteful as it seems
My plan succeeds
I plant the seeds
That grow the weeds
Won't feed myself
I starve, deceased.
Mandarin Sep 2018
Here I am
where I've been so many times before
                              nothing    is   wrong
                              yet everything is off
                              everything is wrong
My heartbeat is too fast for this to be
right,
fine,
good.
I'm
Fine.
Why does this happen?
Why do my mind and my body disagree?
There should be no inner conflict such as this
                                                            Cry
                                                        Die
                                                   Hide
                                              Abide
                                         Starve
                                   Survive
Who would want this life
the life
of a broken
individual?


me.  I do.  I am broken.  I am strong.  I am proud.  I have potential,

                                                                                           and so do you.
Stay strong
Sanny Aug 2018
My kisses must be toxic, poisonous.

Starving for love, they **** every chance.

I'm longing for affection, pure love.

I wonder if my eyes give it away.

The fear of being hard to love, toxic.

I lean in.

His lips feels cold on mine.
Elizabeth Zenk Aug 2018
Eat
Stuff your mouth with food, so that you can stop your crying.
Don't think twice about the effect it will have.
You'll take care of that later, my dear.
Trust me.
Laura Jul 2018
Bun o'clock
I'm hungry but I don't say anything
Because I can hold on longer

Chew pm
Someone says I look thin
Have I lost weight??

Three pounds
Potentially three pounds
But I don't know because I always think I look bloated

Four ice cubes to tie me over
I don't need to eat
I'm okay

Five fat shaming *******
Stroll past me in their skinny jeans
Reminding me who deserves to be a size 0

Tricks o' the mind
Start to play
As I tell myself I don't need to eat because I did yesterday

Age seven is when
Mama first told me to stretch my shirts
Hide my figure
Watch what I eat
Stop taking second helpings
No dessert

Eight
Looks like a couple of donuts.
Muffins.  Pizzas.
Any round food.
My round stomach.

Nibble pm.
It's okay to eat a little?  Maybe?

Ten pm?
Or ten candy bars?

Eleven hours later
Nothing in my belly
But four ice cubes

Twelve: time to taunt my taste buds
Trick myself
Tell myself that I'll eat tomorrow
Tomorrow will be the day
The day I really splurge
Everyone knows that's a lie
But my tummy doesn't
certifiednutcase Jun 2018
Say hello to your new friend
That is called
Anorexia Nervosa.
Rigid are her ways,
Viscious her thoughts,
Endless commitment.
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