I fought back charity that wants to embrace my sweet weak soul I pushed away motivation that wishes to swallow me for my goal I resisted joyous smiles and laughter that might clog my hole Cause what I was fighting for was never fighting for me at all
I hugged the pleasing blanket of darkness that pats me in the back I hold the bags of nightmares that wrap me in a sack I kept the piling dissapointments to organize the stack And this temporary pleasures never brought me on my track
I never saw the world with bursting colors and light I only see those when I was covered by the night But whenever my curiosity starts to take a fight Monsters of black wins in a single painful bite
So whenever someone gives affection to someome like me I slowly walk back to that corner, tearing up swiftly I cry all night and never even othered to see That the real enemy I've been dealing with was me
I reminisce on those last few months a lot, And I wallow in things but this I really overthought. I just want to say I'm sorry it took me so long to visit, And I wish I saw you eat that meal; I can't believe I missed it.
I know you'd of hated this pity I stew in, But you meant so much it hurts within. My eyes get heavy when I look at your picture, There's so many things I'd wish I'd let you lecture.
If there's one last thing I would say, It's that I hope you're safe and heaven is okay. That I pray you're smiling and are proud every second, And everyday is one day closer to being with you, In heaven.
i'm struggling to find hope in my humdrum day-to-day, i'd be lovingly thankful just for this poison to be cast away. i'm struggling to find light on the darkest of days, i'd be grateful for a heartily whisper telling me it'll be okay.
i'm struggling today and especially tonight, it's a looper pedal kicked down as i wonder what happy's like. i'm struggling in ways i'd never thought were right, it's a distorted future where I breakdown in mirror fights.
i'm struggling and i really need help, i just wallow and swallow the pain i keep to myself. i'm struggling for words to explain my health, i just endure and lure more demons onto my trophy shelf.
i'm struggling to plan my death; i'm struggling to find my breath; i struggled once to end my life; but now in mortal death... ...i've earned my slice.