Why do I keep this all in,
like an immoral sin,
walking like their's nothing wrong,
how do I let this all go,
somebody please call home,
Crying through the rain,
yelling at the sky,
when I'm not alright,
with this empty space I call home,
It's been a month and it still hurts
I'm not a perfect girl
I have a lot of flaws
I have a bad side
But then I'm trying to be the best
I get angry most of the time
I'm not easy to handle
But then you're still there keep on holding
I'm sorry for all the pain I'm giving to you
I'm sorry for all of your headaches because of me
I'm sorry because I'm one of your source of stress
But I just want you to know I keep on trying
This is me trying not to be affected
This is me who's trying so hard to show I'm okay
This is me who will say everything's alright
But sometimes I need also a rest
If something happens, It's not your fault
It's me because I know I'm the problem
It's not you because you're too good for me
Baby, I'm sorry...
For I didn’t understand what was wrong
I wept again,
For not understanding my own self.
I was numb,
And it didn’t matter if I was wrong anymore.
My thoughts for it was not worth it to ponder.
I got up,
With courage I did not realise that I even had.
I walked out,
Of the cage that i built in my mind.
Cuts on my wrists,hands curled into fists
Wondering that will i even be missed
Scars on my heart might never heal.
This is what a person must never feel.
You played my heart like it was a game.
Now I know you never felt the same
You stabbed my soul, ripped my heart.
You took my hope, tore it apart.
You shattered my heart in the times of need
Although you realised, you let it bleed.
Slowly you made my heart stop beating.
The pain you created quickly began repeating.
You killed my hope; I stopped dreaming.
When your love for me ceased, my heart began screaming,
You told that you love me, that you'd always be there,
But now those are just words floating in the air.
Slicing my heart, the heartbreaking rain.
When you tore my heart, I couldn't stop the pain.
Now I truly see,
That you never actually loved me.
You never loved me, did you?
Sleepless I sit
Thinking of you
And all the ****
You put me through
I would have jumped
In front of a bullet
But you held the trigger
And decided to pull it
And just like that
We were no more
I closed my heart
And locked the door
Sometimes I wish I could just “shut off” for a few days
I banged my head on the wall for the first time ,
it felt like the last time we talked
the hurt surrounding my head
was like the pain you done to my heart
Was I thinking right when I hurt myself just to not let you leave
Or was I wrong
knowing you'll just turn your back and leave me banging my head more ?
suicide feels wrong but the pain makes my day bright
don't tell me to not care
it's never that easy
don't tell me it wil pass
it's never that quick
just please help me
i'm begging you please
i need some advice
but please not this
tell me what to do
tell me what to say
i can't walk down there
and just ignore them
i can hear them. they're there
i can feel them. they're there
just... please help me
they won't ever die down
just tell me what to do
but please not that
It's never that easy to do it, it never goes away that fast. Just please help me
The stress of tests
for which I confess
that I am depressed
but will still suppress
that feeling of stress
with a tightening in my chest
I should have guessed
instead of creating this mess
the teacher is impressed
to bad I'm too obsessed,
to even protest
I cannot help but inquest
when I will receive my eternal rest
Should be studying, I keep telling myself
Hide me away
Wish I was gone
Give me a kiss
But bite my tongue
Slap away my faith
Laugh at my tears
Then hold me tight
Chase away the fear
Walk into the night
Leave me blind
So I can no longer see
How love died
When she looked me in the eyes,
My heart collapsed into a black hole of love and ecstasy.
When she severed our ties,
My heat collapsed into a black hole of emptiness and entropy.