Scrape the safety out of my eyes
Let the tears wallow, watch me cry
She saw my wrists and laughed at me
I've "cursed myself" is what she believes

She never understood
My favorite type of art
Tells me it's evil work
And I'm breaking her heart

Ancient tongue we no longer speak
Upon my skin in chants to preach
Simple font in words concrete
I write about the things I've seen

You are the sun to my moon,
The smile to my gloom.

"Don't touch me...*"

But that's all I want
Touch me
Please just touch me
Even though I'm fractured and broken it's all I want
You frame my face in your hands and call me beautiful
But you've never asked why I wear warm clothes year round
I want you to touch me
Down my side beneath my sweater
Over my thighs seemingly permanently masked by dark jeans
Across my stomach and around my back
Touch me
Trace all these fractured cracks that were abandoned
Abandoned and called imperfect when my title was taken from me
You call me beautiful to my face
But can you say it to all of me
Touch me
And show me what I mean to you

Someone, please,
                                c
                                a
                                t
                                c
                                h

                                m
                                e

                                b
                                e
                                f
                                o
                                r
                                e

                                I

                                h
                                i
                                t
                                     the cool pavement.

You love her
You still love her
I don't know how I forgot
That she was always everything
You were looking for
I was never
Enough

The sky bleeds into my hair
Sunset leaks into my eyes
In this moment I look changed
He asked me to stay in this
Moment with so many words
Where my hair is more gold
My eyes are caramel not black
And my smile shines bright
But I let the sun slip down past
The horizon because I was
Afraid so he left for his future
While I stayed drowning in
Our past now I don't want to let
It slip away this time,
                                      *into the snow...

Thank you all for today-
The points, the taunts, the shouts-
I talk funny is what you're all about.
You laugh when I speak,
Feels like strikes to the cheek.
Makes me want to be silent.

Until he pipes up,
And says it's cute.

You should have never told me you liked the Fray,
You ruined them for me.

Forgive me father for I have sinned
I threw my soul away
I rejected the gifts given me
Because I didn't believe in happiness

He asked me if I loved him
I told him yes because
I liked the heat of his breath
I told him yes because
I thought that I'd be too happy if he left

She told me this was what love was
I nodded my head because
She smelled nice and
Made my headaches stop
I didn't know that
She'd make me question everything

I told myself that I wasn't depressed
My life became an Icon For Hire song
I was a happy girl that's what
My parents told the psychiatrist back
When I still showed them my sketch book

They told me that I had friends and
I thought that that's what the bottles were
They told me that it was okay
And I thought that's what I was
But we were all wrong

Finally I tried to stop the questions
The ones I couldn't answer
That all echoed in my head
So I tied some knots outside
To match the ones inside
And tried to say goodbye

I didn't believe in happiness
So I thought that I'd just die

Why do I do that?
Why am I so abnormal?
I go to speak,
And my voice creaks,
And my face flushes red.
So I over correct,
Too loud, too direct,
Desperately avoiding the tears I'll shed.

If I were newspaper,
And you fire;
Your flames, consuming me,
Would burn higher.

You eating up my words,
I'd go on unheard
As you read over me,
A decent fuel, finally.

I was the mistake
       The twisted pervert
       The freak freak freak
       The try too hard to fit in
       The anorexic miserable *****
       The depressed neglected waste of time
I am the nothing
       The girl who keeps getting scar after scar
       The girl who begs to be hurt so she'll feel
       The girl who can't find comfort in her own blood anymore
       The body limp waiting for someone to find me

Oh, that's rich
Yeah, you think I'm a *****
Well have you spoken to your girlfriend lately
Her, the only one you let call you baby
She's so lovely, just a peach
Thank God she ain't nothing like me
"Loyal, devoted," she keeps public face
Faker, cheater, been all over the place

I might be loud, I might be troubled
At least I ain't walking all over you honey
Sorry you're blind, sorry your fooled
She is the one ******* every other dude
Maybe I'm fractured, just shy of crazy
But for you I'll always be here, waiting

You picked up a guitar one day,
Fooling around.
I never knew you could play.
The song you played was my favorite song,
Though you had no way of knowing.
You were so beautiful,
Just being yourself
For once.

That was
The first and the last time
You ever played
For me.

That was the moment
I realized
I was
In love
With you.
I still am.

painting my nails
tastes like kissing you
- george

I am cold
And you're far away
My hands are covered in stars

I am crying
And you're probably asleep
My hands are covered in snow

I am candlewax
And you are matches
My hands are covered in sins

I tried to recreate the memory you once confessed you loved
I just didn't expect you to confess you were in love
You have lost the weight I have gained
You have made new memories that layer over the only ones I own
How can I stand next to you yet feel so far from home

If I love you
It means you
Can break me
If I don't
I could miss
Out on
Someone and something
Amazing

I was standing atop the mountain
and the wind blew west
and I could see the leaves follow after her

I was standing atop the mountain
and as the snow fell I could see the smoke rise
and the ash became angels

I was standing atop the mountain
and the rams were fighting where she used to stand
and as one fell I had to look away

I was standing atop the mountain
and the sun was setting
and I could see the colors bleeding all over the sky

I was laying in the valley
and the rain made me cry

Please, no
Don't go again
I miss my best friend

I miss getting hugs
Though I was ridged
Because you knew I needed it anyway

I miss the easy humor
Back and forth banter
Questions and answers for hours

I miss seeing you, talking to you, touching you
You were my life
You are my death

Save a life, of course
Pick you up, pouring rain
But get your beer-coated breath out of my face




Stop shouting, we'll buy your smokes
Putting your hands on her arm
Dragging your fingers to trace
My hands shove you back
Sit down in the back seat
You push me away

She's driving
For God's sake she's driving
   Stop whispering in her ear
     She's yelling
   Stop whispering in her ear
     She's whimpering
   Stop whispering in her ear
     She's sobbing

Get your lips off her
Sit down in the back seat
We are on the highway
We cannot stop
We are on the highway
Sit down in the back seat
Don't park the car
**You can't park th-

I feel so inexplicably vulnerable
I'm naked behind the fogged glass
The water running off my skin
Off in drips, in streams
I can see his silhouette on the other side
But can only imagine what he sees
I am so much more than naked, bare

He mutters shush, hissing like the snake he is
Through the water, steam, and fogged glass
I swear I see his lips curve into a distorted, manic grin
On the other side of the breakable barrier
I am just as equally breakable
I'm too afraid to move
Why are locked doors forbidden in this house
His hands lift and his fingers graze the glass
On the barrier he traces crooked lines
That bend and curve like I do
I can feel myself shaking
As lines create clear windows between us

And he stops
I feel faint, nauseous
His eyes are staring
And mine are tearing

When he leaves
I sink to the floor
The water running off my skin
Off in drips, in streams

Burn my throat as I swallow the same air
Here we are choking on laughter that's grown stale
Don't let me cry out -- no -- don't let me cry out
Apart from this madness perhaps we'll find clarity
Rip off my arms and keep them for your lonesome self
How much good do empty words do us anyway
When you wake up remember I'm done waiting
Poison I've injected into your eyes and hands
Hopefully you can stay subdued and ignorant
You'll miss the parts where I'm on the floor
Gasping for air and nearly lifeless as I'm convulsing
We can smile about the times we bled into each other

And I can't tell you that it hurts
Cause it's not supposed to
And I can't tell you that I miss you
Cause I'm not supposed to

And I can't tell you that I need you to sleep
Cause I'm not supposed to
And I can't tell you I want to talk to you more than anyone else
Cause I'm not supposed to
And I can't tell you that I wish I could watch you smile once more
Cause I'm not supposed to

And I can't tell you I'm sorry
Cause I'm not

Whisper
Whisper
Whisper
She sings the sea calls to me
But I can hear the wind that howls
Unfurling above her sea

I run the back roads
to our hill
and stare at Boston
in the distance

I wish you
were that close,
close enough to see
so I know you're there

This time I shall be perfect,
                                  if you'll come back.

Yeah, I know you liked my costume
I wore it with purpose for you
Your hands were on me, she was in the next room

What do you think they would do
If they knew this was how we behaved
Come closer to me, for right now
It's just you and I, here on this couch

You mean nothing to me
That's why I can do this
When I'm lonely and hurt, I can torment you
Let you have just enough
To feel powerful before I cut you off
How twisted am I, a witch
To cast a dark spell on
You, my boy -- me, your *****

Come on, take a hit
We're both alone and need this
Put your lips to me and inhale all you can
Before I burn out and leave you again