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Jan 2019 · 524
Pink Paper Roses
CeilingStar Jan 2019
Cutting up pink paper. It crumbles between my fingers. I throw its balled up crinkly form into a used bowl. Stomach balled up. At the table. Sickly light, illuminating more than the table. Half eaten lamb, bones sticking up. The paper rips in tune to the stifling hurried frantic talking. Choking sobs, I am as strangled as the bound up meat. Lid on the cream. Lid on the situation. Please let it end, I would wish the ground would swallow me up, holding my crystal wine glass, but it already has. Foundations of my life have cracked and crumbled. Balled up like the pink paper roses I made, tossed into the used bowl. Tossing them like the feelings I wish would be torn off the bone like new years day lamb. Tossing them into the bin and watching as they scatter away from each other forever.

KG
Short short story
Dec 2018 · 312
Short & Sweet
CeilingStar Dec 2018
And when you utter those words
The ones I placed in your mouth
The ones I asked for
The ones I long for
It's still just as reaffirmingly sweet
As the times you wrap them around me
Like a brand new silk shawl
On my shoulders quivering with vulnerability

KG
You'll do anything for me
Dec 2018 · 298
Your colours
CeilingStar Dec 2018
Slather me
with all your colours

Brush your rosy pinks
into my cheeks

That glowing
suns kiss yellow
that you stole
from the sun
to add a glint
to my smile

The tangerines
you squeezed onto
my soft cushioned lips

An ethereal blue
that you took
drop by drop
from the oceans
to trickle into my
flirting eyes

Your warm olive
brown skin that
you let seep into
my insides

The blood red
that you let
pool around me to
keep me warm
safe
yours

I'll hold onto them for you

KG
Nov 2018 · 246
We
CeilingStar Nov 2018
We
Intwined and ornate
Your hand a permanent fixture on my starving hips
Decor draped
Blanketing my cushioned lips
Flowing over curves and angles

Our own knitted home
Featuring every blush and brown tone
Tears crystallized into ornate pillars poised
Our light breath like a foggy void
Blurring up the windows, a spreading shimmer
In our home we live like comfy sinners

KG
Oct 2018 · 398
Poison Ivy
CeilingStar Oct 2018
You are like ivy creeping and embedding yourself in spirals around my limbs

Poison slowly creeping into my very flesh, my very being

What is it about you that makes my lungs heave with distaste

You are a wolf in sheepskin

Your soul a grotesque knarly fungus, toxins settling around you like a shield
But your exterior a brilliantly bright red

You invite others in, only to realise your glowing, vibrant colours have been forged from using and discarding others
******* those around you dry
Forcing yourself into every little crevice

I hate growing next to you, stealing all my light, all my nutrients, all my life

And I bet when you no longer require my prescence you will give absolutely no second thought to tearing me limb from torso to feed that rabid wolf inside you

I bet it's lonely on that 'moral' high ground you keep telling me about, looking down at the rest of my humble flock

I bet one day you will realise you are actually growing on top of an ants hill, not a mighty moral mountain

Enjoy your own company, since you're clearly too good for anyone else's
Since you would rather poison everything around you

Everyone hates poison ivy

KG
P.s. tried to use the combination of juxtaposing two different metaphors here, kind of switching between the two, hope it worked
Oct 2018 · 230
Right now
CeilingStar Oct 2018
At this exact second
someone, somewhere
is so elated
they could burst
into dazzling fractals
of every colour
perceivable

Right now
a polar bear
lays it's wearily
weighted head down
on the ice
to never
get back up again

At the same time
a simple soul
is laying in bed
unable to sleep
restlessly but contentedly
writing a poem
curled up
in the small
of their partners back

This very minute
someone sent their
last goodbyes
tied to a loved one
on a burning pyre
sailing swiftly
into the horizon
along with
their own happiness

And at this hour
a whole person
lost a piece of themselves
so largely irreplaceable
that they couldn't
possibly ever
fill that empty hole
except with a
salty sea
of tears

As one sun sets
another one rises

As one dims and wobbles
throwing it's last
lowly tendrils
of dull grainy light,

Another sun is rising
strong and high
shining beams
so piercing,
shards of light
so blinding,
that you couldn't
hope to hide
from it's warm
content embrace

Right this second
someone bellows with laughter
while others weep and bleed

Every single event
imaginable
is happening
right now

So maybe this
second
minute
hour
day
will get better

KG
When I'm taking things for granted I like to remember there's people with a lot less
- it puts things into perspective
And likewise, when I am sad, i like to imagine someone somewhere is having the happiest time of their life
- it makes me feel better knowing the world isn't always a sad place
Aug 2018 · 405
wooden heart
CeilingStar Aug 2018
the forest in June

i can feel the trees breathing, the wind whirring past their twirling leaves
the bark is course and clammy beneath my hands, notches and winding paths telling my palm a story of ages past
i can almost reach out and grasp the dancing smell of pine and wisps of a cloying floral tone
it's almost too heavy to breathe, and yet it fills my lungs with omnipotent liquid sun
flowers snake into my throat and down, deep into my chest
settling their roots like worms on my diaphragm
i exhale deeply and my breath leaks out like a creeping fog
it dissipates and past it my eyes bleed onto my cheeks,
dazzlingly delightful colours fill my vision, blossoming over my brain
and all I can think is how wonderful it must be
for my heart of green
to belong to the breeze

KG
summer
Jul 2018 · 390
generosity
CeilingStar Jul 2018
How is it
      that I always
seem to end up
      drowning
in a pool
      of my own tears
when all I do
      is give
with tender hands.

kg
is there such a thing as too kind?
Jul 2018 · 5.6k
Come Autumn
CeilingStar Jul 2018
I am Autumns baby

my bones align every Autumn season
I come alive, rising from the earthy soil
I'm Summers poison,
my blood all hazey sunsets and leaf mulch

It's just something about the way the dawn and dusk shaded leaves flutter delicately onto my bronze barked skin
and the way the forest breathes, shedding it's summer shroud of green, canopy now thin
anticipating the snarling undertow of winters frosty bite
how the branches twist their arms and fingers,
reaching up to the light,
sky as blue as my doe eyes

the sunsets are all for me, low and piercing,
using her fiery fingers to stroke my face
I dance naked with the birds, the trees and the sun, a blur of grace

I'm all variations of brown, with the occasional pop of green
my lungs house my earth and its flower children, in my rib cage built of twigs with a magic sheen
my hair cascades like a molten copper mess
I'm a reflection in a lake, beautiful crystal but a construct you cannot caress

luke warm, barren branches and burning peat
crows, shimmering sunsets and crunchy leaves under your feet

I am Autumns darling

KG
Its something about the earthy air, I feel it deep in my bones
CeilingStar Jul 2018
24 July 2018
2:32 PM

Sometimes.

Being with you
Is like handing you the vastly wonderful universe
And you obsess so intricately
Over one dim, long burnt out, star
That you forget to admire
The rest of the sprawling beauty
Of the sea of sparkles
That I ripped out my heart
To give to you

KG
Breathe.
Jul 2018 · 266
you
CeilingStar Jul 2018
you
24 July 2018
1:06 AM

you are
a fiery orange sunset
dripping in honey
bathing me
in syrupy serene light

but
you
are also

a frigid blue moon
reflected
in a rippling pool
of stagnant water

kg
good//evil
warm//cold
light//dark

Juxtaposing terms, each with separate connotations, however, it is an idea to remember that one is not mutually exclusive to the other. The line is not as clear cut as one would like to believe.
Jul 2018 · 808
Old friends, Old secrets
CeilingStar Jul 2018
Do you ever wonder

Where do all those friends go
With the little pieces of you they once knew

The person you'd tell your best kept secrets to
The people you use to glean advice from
That guy who knows everything about you

I wonder

Where have they placed those keys I gave them
Perhaps a dusty draw
Maybe it fell down the back of their couch, lying forgotton on the hard wood floor

Or what if they still walk around with it
Still thinking about the box it belongs to
I wonder if I even care one bit
What they do with their key

Its not as if the once worried over box it unlocks hoards any such value these days you know
And as for my front door
I had the locks changed long ago

k.g.
Just a thought
Jul 2018 · 631
Naked
CeilingStar Jul 2018
You are the only one who has ever seen me naked

Being naked in this sense is less of a physical state than it is an emotional one
Seeing me naked is seeing me as I am

Raw raging firey desires,
Illustrious passions,
My wildest, deepest dreams

True ****** requires showing you the insignificant sprouts of cruelty and knee buckling pearls of weakness that live in my heart

I chose to tell only you

What breaks my heart?
What do I see when I look in your eyes?
What mundane things do you do that I can't stop daydreaming about all day?

Things absolutely anyone else but you could not know

So I can't promise that nobody will ever see me with my clothes off
But I can promise that you will be the only one to ever see me for me

Completely naked

k.g.
You know what I look like naked ;)
Jul 2018 · 279
Dreaming
CeilingStar Jul 2018
I had a dream last night

a dream of thick golden honey
it glazed my mind
with smells of your earthy musk

it smelt like fresh rain on a hazy summers day
amongst the blood red roses, where the green grass grows
gentle breeze fanning wisps of floral tones under my nose

you were stood gingerly, your unmistakable figure
underneath an arch of winding creeping branches
shrouded gently by rays of refracted light, striking streaks
across your soft cheeks and broad shoulders

you stride over, and with a touch of my lips
you smile, holding a rose, clenched in your fist
the thorns drawing blood, almost as if you owed it to them
the red powdery petals speckled with dew
'dangerously beautiful' you mouth

you lean in, intoxicating as the sickly lazy feeling of summer
your hands slithering their way from my lips to my hips
we dance, like bees hovering graciously over daises
and we sway, slow, drifting and lulling me into content

I could feel the crisp grass between my toes
the poignantly earthy smell of the damp soil, and your homely
sweet musk permeating my foggy head
comforting and homely
detached

I just knew even in my dreaming
that I must have this moment with you
and the dewy rose that you gifted me
its stalk dripping with crisp red iron
the breeze and the trees

snapping awake, too cold bleak veil of reality
I've never yearned so badly
desperately trying to slip back into my syrupy imagination
but to no avail

It was just a dream
but one day
I vow we will find it

k.g.
take me away please
Jul 2018 · 204
Goodbye Poetry
CeilingStar Jul 2018
Goodbye poetry is my favourite kind
The poets that feed you those delectable bites of glazey sickly love
To only have it drip through your outstretched arms
Leaving only a sticky sappy mess in its wake

Poets that use words that make you flinch
From wounds you hadn't known to have gored a hole in your heart
The kind of striking imagery that slices you like a chefs knife through an orange
The two halves swirling away from each other

I adore the way they hide behind their verbs and paragraphs and metaphors
Just like a child dodging kind strangers, clinging on to their mothers knees
And yet simultaneously, it's all exposed,
Naked figures intertwined in the bare legs of poetry
Filthy washing between the lines if you only know how to see it

Goodbye poetry is my favourite kind
It’s the only kind poets write about
Its juicier than the trickles of saccharine kisses in the golden rays of summer
It’s the rawest kind of poetry you will ever read, because when it's all over
When there is nobody to spend every beautifully blithe day with
That’s when the seconds turn sour
And we sit in the earthy soil and write
Our goodbye poetry

Poets only know how to make you cry

Goodbye

k.g.
I made up a word, try find it
Jul 2018 · 713
black & white
CeilingStar Jul 2018
my world knows merely black and white

would you hold my hand if I asked you to
with nothing for you to earn
would you do me a favour
knowing you would receive nothing in return

my world knows not right and wrong
for that is dictated by society
putting words in our mouths as if they are stuffing a pig, so obscene
we sit lifeless, watching, we don't intervene

tell me is that right
would you watch as the world is set alight
our world
your world
my world

soon we can know only pain
there will be no right and wrong
no words will be spoken
there will be nothing to be gained

k.g.
sorry for all these poems, its just some i haven't posted yet as i haven't had time
Jul 2018 · 680
His Story
CeilingStar Jul 2018
He maps out his explosive past

A rich colourful story

He flew among stars

Crashed in the dirt

Covering his eyes and blinding his sight

Sentiment covered by years of sediment

He can no longer see life

His vision and mind alike blurred and murky

He refuses to acknowledge

If he could recall the feeling

He'd know life is worth living

But I fear he's gone

Lost in the nights stars

Holding on tightly to all he's lost

He sits frozen to his chair

Unmoving and staring into another universe

The only thing he feels is

The bleak of nothing

Always present

Emanating cold fractals of sadness and despair

The weak feeling of better years blunted and dissipating as I write this

Poetry will preserve it

But he's lost in his past life

Irretrievably

Irreparably

Irreversibly

k.g.
Jul 2018 · 1.4k
Loading
CeilingStar Jul 2018
15 March 2018
09:33 PM


In everything there appears to be a pure crystalline form

Chiseled, clear cut, categorised

Perfectly defined


We're one touch away from knowing everything and nothing all at once


Machines of habit

We're predictable, we're sequences and probabilities on a screen

Craving what we don't have and ignoring that we do

Seeing what's directly in sight and dismissing the depth

Imaging intangible possibilities yet living them through a screen


We know and don't care

We have arduously laboured over assembling a fortress in protection from fluctuation that we have unwittingly forged a cage

Lit by screens

Ruled by 'don't's

Deviation from living to halt death

Abruptly it did come, now slow does it wait

A blessing perhaps but for the dying, a curse


We uncover love so easily, so readily

and yet we lose touch of it so fast, despite our ever growing connections

We have knowledge

We have our memories to scroll through

We have lives to read about

We have inspiration upon every touch

We have it all a second away

Yet we spend our lives whiling away

In situ

Constantly buffering

k.g.
...
Jul 2018 · 214
I'm lonely
CeilingStar Jul 2018

The loneliness in loving you is violent
Unforgiving and relentless

I pull and you push
I give and you take
You lured me in, completely fake

Now you finally have ensnared me
But I can feel you have already left me

Why do you feel so loose in my arms
As if I'm doing you harm

Cutting you in half
As if there's a choice between me and the rest of the world

I feel like I'm clinging to something that's slipping
Slipping so fast
Faster than I fell deep for you

Please don't leave
Please don't leave ...I'm asking for a friend
Jul 2018 · 220
To love the dark
CeilingStar Jul 2018
To love the dark

Has the dark ever made you feel as lonely as he did when he broke your heart to pieces with his bare hands?
Did it ever keep you up at night like you did crying over him?
Has he ever enveloped you like the darkness has, clinging to your silhouette as gentle as a silk sheet?

The dark night will keep you safer than love ever could
It removes image and vanity
It doesn't discriminate
The dark will never be greedy or callous

The nights love stretches further than your dreams, further than the miles of blank horizon that promises to be anything you desire
The nights beauty will touch you in ways love could never
The moons light, the stars shine, the sunsets warm tendrils

Step outside
Let the crisp night air caress your naked figure
The night shall always descend to comfort your soul
Love descends only into swirling resent

KG
the moon is warmer than the sun
Feb 2018 · 165
Your Song
CeilingStar Feb 2018
I’m a baby in blue
Mouthing the words on the bus to my favourite song about you

I can sing a perfect parallel of each voice
A parrot to every little note and twist  
Lyrics are stored in my head as neatly as an alphabetically ordered list

But my songs are not as sweet as the deep uneven sound that parts your lips
Getting caught in the disc of my ears, settling into each of the little dips

Ready to be replayed later, so I can tattoo the lyrics onto my conscious
I drink in every note, it serenades me into calm bliss, your song is flawless

I long to learn it by heart
You’re my favourite song

KG
Feb 2018 · 154
//
CeilingStar Feb 2018
//
rain pouring, crying, wailing

wind lashing, but stance prevailing

torn apart by the infallible waves and the imposing mountains

tide dragging me, filling me

air drowning me, sinking me

trying to escape the swirling tumultuous madness and the impossibly desolate expanse of quiet sanity

teetering on the ledge that lies between each, trying to abscond the abyss between the water and the earth

baring teeth, snarling like the waves

snapping at my toes, forcing into my conscious

and noise, deafening, everywhere, the earth swallows me up, the water churning but mockingly dancing around my neck

before nothing

KG
Feb 2018 · 140
A home
CeilingStar Feb 2018
I hate it like this
Halfway between the fiery hot sun beaming in my chest and the frigid ice water of my head
Sloshing around, numbing as it trickles down through every layer of me
This is home
This heavy hearth built of sturdy bone
Foundations parallel in the habitual nature of its inhabitant

You managed to walk through my front door, and come to own everything that is me
You settle into my home as if you have been here from the start
I need you like I need the sun
You kiss my skin softer than the sun could ever caress me
So why am I torn
Why does it have to be a choice
Do I let my ice cold conscious flood my home, drowning out the warm passion of your sun
Or do I burn and blister, my calloused skin sinking into the seat that is my deflated lungs
Gasping for dry scorched air underneath you and your flaming presence

And as I choose my poison I wonder
Maybe there is only space for my head or my heart
Maybe only one can be my roommate
Home or hell
Home and hell
Home in hell
Hell in home
I’m sorry I let you in
Maybe we can redecorate

KG
It’s all his
Dec 2017 · 496
Eyes of the beholder
CeilingStar Dec 2017
At the coffee shop

You sit gingerly opposite me, watching
I can almost touch the beauty you see in me
It's written like the title of a book all over your face, leaning in close to mine

Gazing into your warm hazel eyes is like attempting to escape a beautiful well of tears
Your eyes flicker, tenderly ******* my soul

In that moment I see what you see
I am yours, my heart yours and our souls intwined together in a display of shared tears and deep kisses
You eclipse any sadness I have ever felt

Your dark eyes yearn after my naked frame,
However it's impossible to get any closer than our thoughts overlapping from across the table

Reflected in your eyes I see your honesty and your love and the creases around your eyes when you smile

But what really strikes me,
As poignant as the glint from the diamond on my finger as I reach for my coffee,

Is that I can see myself, perfect, as I am in only your eyes
Beauty known only to your eyes
To my only beholder

KG
Dec 2017 · 1.8k
my sun
CeilingStar Dec 2017
I love you more than the sun shines

you are my sun to replace the sun,
to sprout my little sunflowers as tall as you

you are my diamond dusted stars,
guiding me, inspiring me, entrancing me

you are the face on my beloved moon,
for I rest and wake only for you  

you are my world, without you it withers like the obsolescent radiance of the fiery sunset

everything in it, down to the tiniest flower, is all for you

a world only for you,
and you eclipse the most salient thing in it:
the sun

‎باموت فيك

KG
Dec 2017 · 695
The Black Queen
CeilingStar Dec 2017
The Black Queen rules
Great and terrible
She manipulates fear and loathing
She injects it into her people like morphine
Seeping into the cracks of broken hearts, damaged souls, weakened minds

She is ruthless like the sword of a merciless knight
She is the clenched fist that grips the stiff iron blade
The mocking gleam as it cleaves innocent
She is the panic of control, the dark of the night, the love of hate

She is the man who watches his family die
The mercenary who was made to do it
The King that ordered the bakers family to die on account of his wife choking
Misleading and taunting and tempting

She is what brings down kingdoms, worlds, people
She is the mold that rots the roots of a  family tree
Her poison runs thicker than blood

The Black Queen does not forgive
She will never release you from her guiles
She is most of all, a trickster
And like a trickster she hides her true colours under a black veil
So that when you are taking your last breath
You will know
To have vengeance is blood
And blood is red
Not black
KG
Jul 2017 · 432
sickly symphony
CeilingStar Jul 2017
the devil will drown you
dead before dawn

heart in your hand
hold it too tight

hurt shoots down your spine
love pools in your bones

the earth will hold you
squirm in the dirt
under its spell
cast by the devil

held in a
dream

there you lay
under
beneath cold clammy earth

death cannot be undone
not unwritten
crawl or beg
but you cannot break the spell

from ashes of soil
my soul will rise
garden of decay
and mould my home

I have paid my price
shed my skin
died within

KG
Jul 2017 · 309
Glow in the dark love
CeilingStar Jul 2017
I'm not sure I know what it feels like to be truly alone
As I lie in bed i look up at little glowing stars
I can feel the ghost of you clinging to my bony motionless frame
You leave but you linger
Hairs on end
Your faint presence as cold as my bloodless emotionless skin is without your warm touch
Ears plagued by a ringing of the whispered earthquakes of 'I love you's from weeks past
I turn to have your sweet musk slither up my nostrils
I imagine how I'd trace my nose along your ear and your jawline and your neck and down to your collarbone
How your fingers interlace with mine as our thoughts do
I know you are thinking the exact same thing as you lay in your bed
Me on my side and you on yours
I wonder wether we would absorb into each other if your stolid silhouette lay in my sheets
And I can't shake the shroud of loneliness I feel the moment you break away
The distance between us filled by longing and swirling sadness
But I can feel you're with me in the dark
Your beautifully delicate ghost hanging on my every breath and my every 'I love you'
The glowy star to my murky night

KG
Am I talking about poetry or my one and only, truth is: probably both
Jul 2017 · 454
dear
CeilingStar Jul 2017
prise me apart
part by part
ravenous
carnivorous  
engorge me, devour me, engulf me
delectable bites
dripping with greed
dripping in fluid
smudge it in
prodigious prophecy
draw me close
like the moon around the earth
every path leads to this grotesquely gorgeous display of body
smother me for I don't need to breathe
make me limp with longing
not so silent scream
twist me, turn me over, make me bleed
make me ooze lust
a burning only for your touch

my dear
make me love you

KG
bite me
Jul 2017 · 400
death of a planet
CeilingStar Jul 2017
the world advances one funeral at a time
death seeps in slow and sly for us
hovering above you like a hand above a fly
death spells out the world bit by bit

so dance like thunder in the rain
let shade turn the water black with pain
with the vile filth that pours out of our rapacious cracked lips like hate
pooling and festering as we sit ignominious in a pool of our own putrid regurgitate

and this is our "modern" ravaged world
shiny, sleek, innovative exoskeleton
like the corpse of a dragonfly
we lay dead and glinting in the desolation of our wrath
life devoured but soul gleaming
rot within full of rot and rot

do we not weep
for our animal kin, hunted and banished from a world that is theirs as it is ours
take their home take their skin
mass murderers of the diverse
and for what I ask.
to innovate? to invent? to create?

HOW
when we infect everything we touch with disease      fear      hopelessness      greed
the mercy of divine gods could not touch upon that which we have destroyed

the life has slipped between the fractured bones we have stripped clean
peck away, rip ruthlessly, repeatedly
for we have nothing left and still we keep poisoning earth, unscrupulous, with excrement

we are all scribbled onto her **** list
for our contribution of
entangling her in nets, hanging her with plastic, caging her, ****** her, beating her, felling down her wooden limbs
then watching as they fall proud to the barren soil, it's provisions reaped and plundered
she will watch
as we, engulfed in her furious flames, burn back into the ashes she forged us from

there will be nothing by the time we realise
the sheer magnitude of our mistake
come our imminent demise
Mother Earth shall weep waves

the walls of water shall rise high
and bare no remorse as they crash tremendously terrible and wash away our sins and our souls
the water will crush our bodies just as we fracked the earths skull
it will drown us just as we suffocated her in oil and putrid waste
just as we choked her with smog and fumes and smoke
just as we chained her up and whipped her till she bled out into the core of her eternal soul
our empirical greed deserves a modern death and that she will deliver

we tilled her dry, ***** her
fertility disappeared as quick as a full belly
ghost of green haunts the brown naked carcass that once hosted sprouting life
we dowsed our own crop in ******* **** and waste and we wonder why the worst of us go hungry
she has the right to grasp us in the sharp clutch of hunger
to stew us in a vat of our own emaciated decay and death
but she needn't bother as we shall demolish ourselves as we did our planet

finally we vengeful children will know too late what it means to **** outside your own front door

KG
and soon regret shall run as deep as the fracks we have created
Jul 2017 · 288
Heavy Love
CeilingStar Jul 2017
My cosmic love is buried deep in the garden
So heavy it sinks into the earth
Ingrained with decay and shrouded in mould

Wrapped around my ankles I traipse the ghosts of my past
So heavy it hinders my path
Never any blessing, nobody to hear my heart of hurt

Hands around my warm pulsing neck
You forced my insides out of my throat
You bruised every inch of my protruding spine
You were the tumultuous ache in my bones and the venom in my veins

You ripped my heart from my chest
Crushed it, blood dripping as I stood there gaping
Red love splashing on the ground
Smashed to dust, my heart dissipated on the wind

A kiss for a ****
The demon gained his pound of flesh
Sing a hymn for your soul
****** will be mine
Ceremoniously I will serenade your cowardly death

You gave me a hated love for the ages
And I payed the devil with your soul*

KG
Love?
Jul 2017 · 290
Journey away
CeilingStar Jul 2017
Lay me down
Unveil my eyes to the world  

Everything is blue
Blue poisons me
Underneath my taut bruised skin
Lies a mosaic of love
For you
Hatred for me

Don't let me breathe
The horizon hijacks your job of whisking my small ragged breaths away

The journey away from you
Burns my every step
Burns a hole in my heart
Hands clammy
Belly churning

Above the clouds
There is nothing but you
Occupying my deprived mind
Gazing down I see you in everything
Every beautiful view is you

On cold sticky dirt
Take a bath
Wash off our sins
Let the water turn black

My despair swirling clockwise
Your longing swirling anti-clockwise
Close but opposite

May nothing but death do us part
May death find you alive
For me

KG
The journey away from them is always the worst
Jun 2017 · 450
Embodied Explorer
CeilingStar Jun 2017
You navigate the landmarks of my body
As if you are creating a map
Sailing into my calm black waters
Let me engulf you like a sea monster would destroy a ship
Drown on the shores of my lucid dreams
Under the shining crescent moon that is my smile

Your tongue is like the tentacles of a sea monster, wrapping around the caves of my back, dragging me into the waters depths

Lips forming blooming blossoms of anticipation
My body trembles under your magnificence
Like a God you look down upon your simpering creation
Begging for deliverance, to be thrown into the deepest of oceans

Fingers leaving a trail of tingling and goosebumps
A vicious yet caring touch
With the dangerous pull of a riptide
I feel as if you should drag me irretrievably out to sea  
You memorise every dimple and every curve as you move your hands lovingly up my body: an explorer who has discovered the new world

Absorbed in each other's mouths
Your being floods mine
Gliding over me like a bird glides on air
Clouds in my vision, waves of shock thrillingly pulse through my body like waves ebbing and flowing

One and the same the moment lingers
Ragged breathing fills my ears like a strong gust of wind
Mind spinning like a compass

A new land you have conquered

KG
He breaks me down to nothing and yet we're everything together. I worship him like my God because he deserves the world. My love for him is deeper than the deepest of oceans and it's ingrained immovably into my little soul. The only thing I long for more than his touch is his affection. He's the most beautiful human I've ever laid eyes upon and I'm spending the rest of my life with him
Apr 2017 · 500
Missing
CeilingStar Apr 2017
I miss the silhouette of your curves in front of the window
The way you smiled at me as if I was the only thing in the world
The way I craved you like an addict craves a drug
I miss loving you lucidly and equivocally
The moment you touched my skin
Creating an electricity
A spark
So close
A mere synapse away
Almost but not quite

When you left I felt the pain
Sharp and undulating
It didn't stop for weeks
The ache and the want
Pulsing through me with every heart beat
Ice cold running through every single vein
Seeping into every cell of every tissue
Numbing me to everything warm
Everything that mattered melted away in spite of the persistent cold
The bitterness still lingers inside me
Deep in my bones I can still feel the presence
A tumour that now does not spread but will never go away
No medicine can fix that
If you remove it, you remove me
Mostly it removes you
And despite that I think I'd keep it.

Maybe I'm still in love with you but I hate you
Despise you
Yet still I want you.


KG
You took a part of me with you
Apr 2017 · 2.9k
entropy
CeilingStar Apr 2017
sat in your lap
jealousy builds
like pressure
once a fissure

it now inches
its way across
my soiled soul
lather it on my body
like blood -
thick and treacly
dark, sticky
ever so sickly

tell me your lies
tell me your truths
trace them into my flesh
mark me

cast the runes
now they have spoken
clatter on the rocks
like my pride has
broken

my rage glowing
all I can see
forever growing

I embody entropy
A rule of disorder

hatred rises
through the flames
let it burn me
to ashes
like your touch
sizzles my skins frame

it's a crime scene
of blood swirling like ink
pills scattered
around me
like a ritual
I wonder what
my mother would think

you're a dream thief
knife in my
heavy heart
you've stripped me bare
and I stand
as you depart
with nothing but
at your mercy

I'm you're experiment V
the looking glass shows me
what's left
a withered mess
existing
for you to thrive
tired pile of crumbly bones and
shrivelling rotting insides
tossed aside

burn me to
oblivion

I want the skin
to stop sticking to my bones
melt it off
let the blood pool onto stone
let the fat droop and distend
mocking me, me mocking
never ever stopping
wretch and stretch
till I break
rip my organs out
serenade my limp body
with the liquid lava that drips
as you extract
my black heart
take a sip of my sublimity

I am all you will never be
because I don't think I ever was
do what you will to my material
never to extinguish my fire
that does
never
cease
limitlessly
increase
the
entropy

KG
Apr 2017 · 361
Promise of always
CeilingStar Apr 2017
Always might be all of time
It might be the entirety of space

Perhaps just a lifetime
Who can say wether it is to be the lifetime of a tulip or the lifetime of a turtle
Of a towering mountain or a winding river
As long as the sun sets and as long as it rises

Time cannot justify always
Always might be a construct, a net
Gifting us the ability to believe our matters matter amongst all of matter

How can we possibly promise always,
Not even knowing how long that'll be
It has the potential to be a broken promise or a faithful gift
Probably both

It's fact- something that has been and cannot be altered
Longer than the shadow cast by the sun setting beyond the looming mountain yet shorter than the flicker of a weak flame

It is everything in between
An unquantifiable infinity
Anywhere between the earth on which you sit and the unforeseeable universe

All this doubt yet 'always' sounds so solidly sure and concrete
We will always wonder how long always is
Not a statement but a question because: how long is that?
Because who really knows anything
Apr 2017 · 831
For a Passerby
CeilingStar Apr 2017
Come and go
Seasons barely touching as autumn transitions to winter
The passers by see devastation unbeknown to theirselves

A storm of leaves in auburn hues constantly plummeting towards the ground in every which way possible
All a gorgeous streaky blur as they advance through the graveyard of the world
Leaving every grave untouched as they float past

It's all noticed by the passerby
Perceived through crystal clear glass
Every single stark detail untouched and untampered
Seen as it is

On they watch
They won't admit but relief, gratefulness flood their beings
As they glide by
Feet above the marshy ground, soggy and trodden
They are not yet ravaged by life's cruel twists
Free from the plooms of smoke and swirls of mist
Judgment unclouded by the murky emotions of the graveyard

On and on they advance
Torturous sights behold their eyes
Past souls tormented by the weight of fate
Lives consumed by its deviating path
A gloomy and crooked path indeed

For the passerby: some knowledge
Make the most of your lucid journey
And when it shall end do not lose yourself among graves

For those tortured souls: continue as passers by
Do not bury yourself with your grief for it shall drag you to the depths
And it does not let go
Such is the fate of this life

But ultimately it falls upon you

KG
Apr 2017 · 815
Title (optional)
CeilingStar Apr 2017
Always the same
Again
This cyclic life

Fuller than the sun, reaching further and yet its rays touch me merely for a second
Hidden by clouds
The dullest drizzle
For miles my sadness sounds

A different outfit everyday to cover the same dreary routine
The same feelings poisoning my being, brimming over till it spills
Spills over and never recedes
Like gloom grows, the day slows

Always the same
A race of worker bees we've become,
Ourselves to blame
We work to live but never live

Living for the future is to not live at all

Should I pass through the clouds this dawn I would never know you or this life

I'd never know consuming heartbreak
I'd never feel the unrelenting wrath of grief
The feeling of depthless love or shallow lust

I'm covered in clothes to hide my skin
My skin to hide my manifesting malaise
Sick of the same and the everlasting train with no seeming destination

If I jump will I see my dream
Or will I be lost, lost to this life
And it's damning merry-go round of everything acutely grey

I wonder as I try to find air
Are you the surface I can't reach,
Drowning so fast
It's as if I'm sinking
The shackles of society have tied my ankles to rocks
Drag down
Never to breathe
Never to see
Only to drown

Saccharine seconds relieve me temporarily but I can't ever feel free

There is no thirst and I have no reason to give you as to why I get up each morning
Get up just to see how far I am from feeling the sun still
It grinds me into the dirt and cripples my will

I want it to stop
Again
Never again
But I haven't the strength for mine to end

And so continues the heaves I breathe
And the darkness I see

Over and beginning again

K.G
Tell me why can't I just leave
CeilingStar Mar 2017
I'd do anything
In the golden haze of the night
Surreal and forgettable

Bright lights, strange people
It's all so unpredictable
So lucid, it's all a dream

Crowded, the feel of people
It's thrillingly comfortable
Gentle touch of a stranger
Lips locked tight
Lack of meaning allows a strange focus on the physical
Hands through hair
Hands on skin
Seeking always for the spark of an instantaneous attraction

Breaking apart,
You say farewell
Lost in an eternal search for something you don't quite comprehend
It goes on like this too long to tell
Yet the night seems so short
I'd do anything
Anything to feel that temporary connection, floating above the city
Anything to forget the dawn
To forget the apocalypse that is love
k.g
From night till dawn
Mar 2017 · 516
Full of Empty
CeilingStar Mar 2017

Trapped in a mind so grey, so dark
Too empty, it leaves a trail of numb
In a shadow under emotions thumb

Waiting to be found
Spinning and caged
Down on the ground

Hot fire burning out by a skin so cold
Waiting, waiting to grow old

Alchemist of scenarios and doubts
Your happiness is no longer visible through the pool of misery through which you view the world and it's shouts

All night
And at every sight

Shell of immovable clouds
You wanted more
A thousand hours
And here you lie
Lacking your usual shroud

Stitched soul
Sinking sun
Cast your rays
Your story is told

K.G.
and now let the empty be full
Mar 2017 · 593
XXX
CeilingStar Mar 2017
***
Hate is a darkness
A feeling, a sound, a phrase, a sight
It's a swirling atrocity
Surfacing from the deep depths of our souls
Breaking through
Poisoning and ravaging and tainting each perception
It blinds and maims
It's has no remorse
It drowns, seeping into every crevice of your being, leaving nothing untouched
Gradually, it consumes your soul
Torn, bruised yet bursting with spite, sin, jealousy, deceit, manipulation, lies
It never ends
Twists, turns and misleads
A game you could never possibly win,
And one you've inevitably already lost
In hate you find a rotten hope for violence and injustice
It'll devour everything and I hope it should not afflict the world thereafter
It plagues ideas and concepts
It is sown amongnst us
Harbouring a tendency to cast a perilous shadow
Laying a trap to the unwary
It befalls even the worthy and the gracious
Those in love with love
Those that love the light and the light of love
But mostly those who love
As with love there always lurks hate
And with hate you extinguish the love

KG
Mar 2017 · 379
Since you left
CeilingStar Mar 2017

It feels like I'm drowning in black tar
Moving against so much resistance
You won't let go, pulling me down
Deeper into the depths of my soul

Trying to **** in air but I can't breath
Lungs of lead and heart of hurt

It's only as I look deep down that
A reflection of loneliness peers back
The image seared unto my mind up until forever and which shall never leave

That I realise it is not your hand that grasps me, but me that is clinging to you
I unclench, secret scream, silenced shriek
A single tear sinks, and all is quiet

KG
A trapped heart is a hindered soul
Mar 2017 · 397
Perfect Burden
CeilingStar Mar 2017
Eyes cavernous, drowning in longing,
Pooling incredible intensity
Aching your core,
Desperation for every second to be this

Nothing ever feels as real as this stark second

Body aware of the pressure of yours,
An imprint that feels as if it should last a lifetime
A reinforced vulnerability

You can almost feel the fragile structure built of perceived perfection,
Emulating the lustre and complexity of stars as far as my ceiling
It’s yours forever

Under the table
It’s always there,
Always will be,
A singularity of where we started and where we shall end,
The perfect burden

I’d have it no other way

k.g.
I wrote this at 3am eating poppadoms in my kitchen while he was sleeping.
Mar 2017 · 654
want
CeilingStar Mar 2017
what is life but want
a line that embodies a whisper
fine as a strand of silk,
just as fragile

we crush, we stamp
we wreak detruction
but we also think we love
and we cherish

but is love love when you want more
more till they break
till they hate
till its over

what is enough

love we spoil by demanding more
eager to feed our rapacious mouths and our craving minds
always greedy, begging for more
insatiable
more
merely for us
what we get slips between the cracks
falling below our flaws
so that we are hindered, caged, by our own souls
and when this is devoured
we justify searching for more
desiring the exceptional

life oozes opportunity
it pours like the rain,
drips like condensation

and yet we stand
mouths gaping open, hands grabbing
how long will we stand before grasping a hand, an opportunity, a mouthful
how long,
how long do we stay yearning

our cold lives will never be full
our voracious bodies can never be blessed by satisfaction

we want to know
we want to love
love the one
love life
love ourselves

what we really long for is time

a clock strikes
the revalation that we possessed the world weighs heavy
hanging precipitously but it is not to be shaken off
it is a chain
a prison
forged of gluttonous greed,
regrattable malancholy,
gloom

what is this life but want  
and who should care
for your bleeding, your suffering, your tears
but those of whom you demanded the world
they were the world
now ravaged irreparably by our want

and now we sit,
wanting for all of time
until the end

humanity is hated by humanity

                                                                             -k.g.
Poetry is an art of the mind and soul in which you lay both bare
Mar 2017 · 291
Salt of love
CeilingStar Mar 2017
You are home to me
Nothing is like the heat of your cheek against mine
The radiating warmth in my chest feels as if it should burn my flesh

Dying of crying
I wail for you, yearn for you
So deep it cuts to my core

My heart wrenches in pain, drowning in longing every time I look upon your face
The face in which I see my future
Reflected
Taunting me, I wish away years and I waste my seconds for you
Over and over
You leave me bare and yet I've never felt so enveloped, so cradled, so there

A love so close, so loyal  
it hurts
But for you, I'd forgo the pain
unquestionably

                                                                             -k.g.
He makes terrible coffee
Mar 2017 · 478
Untitled
CeilingStar Mar 2017
all I ever seem to do
                        is fall deep for someone like you
                round and round the carousel    
is it ever to stop, only time will tell


-k.g.
sad poetry is the only poetry I know
CeilingStar Mar 2017
I vowed to listen to all you speak of
Even amongst the hostile cold and unforgiving bleak
I stare into a face once full of love
That once made me weak

But now a stranger- l struggle with time  
Imagining you true to your once pretty sight
No longer mine, it has consumed your mind
No longer do you know my plight

How I wish you would come back to me
I can feel your body next to mine but it's not you
It is merely a shell of the person I once knew to be
So full of life, generous, caring and eyes so blue

Eyes now black cavernous caves
Empty and dark like pools of water
Reflecting life but never generating waves
Stagnant, festering, this is not fair

You have truly lost your mind and your soul
A shadow of what once was there
Ever taunting me with the memories it stole
Meaning you don't recognise me in your stare

Nothing will ever hurt me more than that
A lifetime torn apart by degradation and age
But you now are lost to me, yet cruelly in your seat you're sat
Your love for me lost: signifies the final stage

                                                                             -k.g.
A poem which heavily depicts the impact of dementia on the healthy partner
Mar 2017 · 746
FOR YOU
CeilingStar Mar 2017
True love
A star in a vast constellation
Moon casting pearlescent light
Why this star?
Why me?
You chose my light every single time
In every singularity
Not space-time but love-hate
Love for the way I hang on every grace of your crescent lips on my terrestrial body
Hate for the way I yearn for your warmth like the earth needs the sun
Not to survive but to thrive
Luminescence of our feelings mix like gases in a nebula
Creating an array of magnificent colours
Beautiful, precious but irretrievable
Just like you cannot see atoms, you could not possibly perceive the depth of love
Spanning the galaxy
Stretching across the universe
Electrical energy buzzing around its nuclear attraction
Neutral entities palpable but non effectual
I'm inside you and you are inside me
****** into nowhere:
A black hole swallowing gas, atoms, planets, stars
Your love engulfs me like you engulf everything
Comets move towards you
The Milky Way deserves you
The stars are clustered around you
Desperate to absorb your light
You engulf all
Always,
We do this forever
Just as atoms have been around since all time
And the stars will shine for billions of years
We are past and future
But your love is always present

                                                        ­                      -k.g
A rarely happy entity

— The End —