i heard your breathing and
opened my pants to
use your greedily opened
mouth for





playful purposes

this whole world is like a pit
by your side, i'll find a way

prosperin' in times of sadness
people are loaded with madness
questions in their eyes, a quest
by your side, i'll be blessed

lord, i wanna be good, so good
lord, i wanna die in the hood
baby, take a trip with me, soul dealin'
we were sick, now got feelings of healin'

don't get me wrong, don't tell it everybody
yet i'm not flawless, a human being, a body
lord, i wanna be good, so good
lord, i wanna die in the hood

lead me through the valley of my fear
lead me through the valley of my tears
o lord, holy almighty, you sent me milly
do i deserve her? am i worthy?

ya know me, a friend of forties, a slowie
fan of bowie, jeezy, straight up deezy
i don't respect the "i", but my woman
o lord, holy almighty, you sent me milly

the beginning of a journey, the winning
just the beginning, i'll be fightin' waterfalls
all in all, i'll crush the chinese wall to be
with you girl, not my new girl, but my true girl

funky like a whirlwind, my head is spinning
people waitin: what about him, ain't no sinnin'??
don't have to to do that, cause i am tru dat, so in it
my head is spinnin', lord i wanna be good

i wanna live and die in the hood, maybe in the woods
you sent me milly, this is not to be misunderstood
embers in her eyes, and a nice-hearted smile
lord, do i deserve her? am i worthy?

ya know me, a friend of forties, a blowie
o lord, holy almighty, please bless us...

have you guys
ever been to
großburgwedel?

it's in germany

i am there right now
to have my right leg
examined

sure: it's raining
the sky is grey
and all that
well well

but one thing i am
certain of:
i wouldn't come here again
except i want to gain
certainty

i have nothing against
the people
from großburgwedel

i simply don't want to
live in grey lands:

grey faces
grey voices
and many right-winged persons

I LOVE COLORS
I LOVE THE GERMAN AND THE ETHIOPIAN FLAG
I LOVE MY BI-RACIAL FAMILY

Out of the empty, impregnated
Cockpit of reasoning — Kicked into
Your eyes from the pedestal of fear.
Guilt is the sin of guilt.

Yaps of thugs returned,
Volt-green bloodstream above the
Airwaves of forgotten songs.
Angels of the underworld.

Lunatics, in love with themselves,
Are hurtling over night-colored
Fields, while the silver fur of rabbits
Is reflecting screams of rage.

note: this is not a poem but an account of the mental aftermath of Hanau, where ten people got killed yesterday. one of them was the mother of the killer who worked in a bank, was paranoid and believed in conspiracy theories.


a turkish guy whose name means "justness" was shot to death by him. in the community, he was popular for his kindness.
he was killed because he was an immigrant, a muslim, and because he hung out with his friends in a shisha bar to enjoy his leisure time. got hit by bullets. died, leaving relatives, friends and an entire muslim community, the entire world, in daze.



met three uber drivers today, all of them muslims, two of them know some of the victims personally.  

the first one of them was desperately sad today. i asked him "how are you?" he answered "not well" and told me everything. i was very concerned because i can't deal with such inhumane cruelty.

the second driver was from pakistan. he argued that germany is an open-minded country and that he had left his country due to religious lunacy that is lived by some people there.

the third driver was interestingly humorous. as wired as it may sound, he thought positively after the assasination and said that the relatives of the victims should live on as if their people hadn't been killed.

i don't know about that; yet, everyone deals with terror differently.

hanau is just a couple of miles from my home city, frankfurt am main.

in my heart, my spirit and my soul, i am with all the victims, their relatives, friends and colleagues.

MAY GOD BLESS ALL YOUR SOULS. MY CONDOLENCES. MAY GOD BLESS US ALL.

MUCH LOVE FOR ALL BELIEVERS OF ALL RELIGIONS. LOVE IS THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH THAT.

The killer killed himself after the crime.

OH GOD, GIVE US STRENGTH. WARMTH. HOPE.

hate is able to
love

dear poetry
i have to tell you
something

there's something i
need to tell you poetry:

;-)   OINK   ;-)

just wanted to say
hello... ehrm [deep sigh]

"hello poetry!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuuZMg6NVeA

since tizzops knows half of the world, there are
blue birds painting his name in the sky, formation
for the throne, lead her up, your queen
uniquely dressed in all-white, all guests fully covered in snow

everybody waited for that day, until tizzop & marissa, being in
a blossom-white garden happily said yes to each other
sparklingly white ravens, everything only this one color
the magical gift, like jeezy's magic city

marissa: come with me now, we're flying over continents

thousands of miles, first and tender kisses
and soldiers are firing into the air, under the
violins we are watching the world like drones
kings and emperors, in order to reward our people

i need me some bread and beans, proteinshakes
bodybuilding, this song fits into the first take
we are fate: tizzops & marissa, like vocals
and basslines, violins and piano

burner beats and our voices, all goes together
baby, come home with me, be at home with me
cause at home is the best and cosiest place
decorate my room, fill it up with blaze

give me your female touch, i am and remain an ox
when i spot you on a snowy path, as you're standing
in front of an ipod-white foal, babe, i stole that for you
like i'll be heisting mars, moon and venus, i become

calm and laid back, turn into what i will be and i am sure
that marissa got my back, and that she loves me
she is good, how i am enjoying this, we're like malibu
firing up waves on the rocks like cocktails

and the shiningly white swoosh of the ocean
is our carpet, and stars bet on our fate now, my babe

Home is a smile in the face
Home is your dearest dream
Home is in your mom's dish
Home is for you and her and him

Home is in your child's voice
At home I'm gonna be tonight
Home is my birthplace
At home I'm gonna sleep tonight

Gimme a wide grin
Gimme fruit and cream
Giving you a house of stars
You gonna call that a home

The sirens hushed long since
In my head they're screaming
I gotta go and drop something
So I can keep my home

By day I walk through alleys
Incessantly I do things
To live consistently and good
Finding soil for a home

Clear water
Harmoniously flowing
Serenity

Dross
In bolted minds
Escape

The path is split
Two directions
Two decisions

Daughters and sons
By the water of words
Water from the pond
Shores in centuries

Described by silence
Existence of ice-cold entities
Made of cosmic dust
For the moment afterwards

Moment afterwards
In the pond
Hope
Shore of the awakening

Blinking of an entity
Who you do love
Whom you forgive
In the house of silence

monday: putting ***** plates aside
tuesday: ignoring the ***** plates
wednesday: being bothered by the ***** plates
thursday: intending to do the dishes
friday: forgetting to do the dishes
saturday late afternoon: meeting a woman in a pub who tells daddy that she has a dirt allergy
saturday evening: arduously scrapping off fatty chunks from the dishes, groaning about such a hard kind of labor and thinking about easier ways of cleaning ***** plates.

from saturday night until sunday morning: making love to the woman from the pub; putting ***** plates...

How clear that moment is
Fulfilled by a day's hush
Surrounded by grandpa's wrath
Permeated by a child's grin

How clear that moment is
Hold it in your hands for us
Put it into the bowl of instants
Preserve it for our night

How clear that moment is
Sensed it by the red shores
While dancing on pictures
Ahead the ravine of our old life

How clear that moment is
Once I was reborn
In the house of a dying man
To watch a movie there

This moment was not clear to me
I limped to the toilet and I weeped
Without knowing without feelings
Hope was getting into my heart

How clear that moment is
I will not give it away
A living within a bowl
Contained in this moment's heart

You know how to find memories?
I am from a place remote
From a quite different world
There I forgot the memories

Sit up and come to me
There is no detour to get home
Just a path made of stars
Strewn by the thieves of light

Find the words in my eyes
I wrote them down way back
Buried in years of waiting
So you finally come to me

a man and i need you
my soul is still a boy
my body has a huge c...
and i give you this toy

were opened to






**** human beings:


22 murders in 2019 of Black/Trans Woman:
https://mshmemphis.org

Melt my icy heart
Remove it from the loop of fear
I'm itching because of the heat
Although it's bitter cold

I gotta *****
Memories are gone
My body goes to the floor
Melt my icy heart

Wake me up for the arrival
My curls are dying
This becomes a new start
Melt my icy heart

Kids are yelling in the alleys
Tagging walls with colors
Writing names in a new way
To hide from glances

Melt my icy heart
The kids are locking theirs
Is this the arrival?
Melt my icy heart

i've been looking for
myself so often that

i forgot about the first time
i forgot about the last time

david was warning me, i didn't listen
instead i kept on running towards you
controlfreak of the netherworld, goon
my life is like a fairy tale, shimmering

invention and glory, similarly
psychopathic word play, baby doll
schizoprenic flow, i have to write
standing ovation for my family

some people have double standards
sweetlove tried to correct me;
hosting a contest about racism
playing grammar police, she was like:

"could you edit this horrible slang?"
no, it's simply the voice of many people
i demasked your entire outfit, kiddo
never ever will you hear back from me

once upon a time, i grew up, now i'm huge
tall, fat, dope, fresh, i'm *******
adjectives for my people to subsist
my life's a motion picture, get it baby

pipi langstrumpf zöpfe, du lächerliche
throw some german into the mix and be real
dinosaurs are chasing me, as long as i'm on it
paranoia guardians, copycat killers, word

livelong sessions, i'm not hiding myself
behind the mask is a good-hearted sicko
a sick, good-hearted person, no doubt
broad-shouldered and i stick my chest out

I didn't know about your slough skin
Of the hideout in the wood's light
By the debauchery of the ancient
I didn't know anything

So I was searching in my words
Flicking through them to their origin
To discover ***** of skin
Buried in oblivion
Within creaky floorboard
In abandoned buildings

Your skin was at such a place
I didn't know about this
I was diving
In the cooling mud of my dreams
Grinning words were there
Robbed from the mouths of sick angels

I wanna be close to you
Gimme your breath!
At the goal there is no quest
So I flee to the land of the mutes
There are only answers

I'll be going there
I'm certain
I don't know anything

dear idol i
want to be like you

dear idol i
want to be you

scratched your name into my arm
your face is my tattoo
your tattoo is my face

been listening a decade
to your lyrics i'm all

'bout it
wit it

re-in up
bossed up
fetish for dough

baby i be yours
take me as a gift

my game tizzop

antwone the gang leader always
be like: imma make a call; two
minutes and they here

regardless what the issue about:  
antwone always about dat
(and they always come for sure)

me? i ain't made for that
me just tizzop
ain't belong to antwone's
brotherhood

even if i wanted to:
they wouldn't let me

dem dudes roll heavy
while i note down outsider dreams with white ink on
black pages
you feel me?

antwone's dudes addicted to
drive-by-shootings
i'm deep inside; yet no part of that;
my handz not made for glockz

my hands are made for pens;
i'm from the ghetto; who cares?
my hands are made for pens
and if i'm broke i will
write with sparkling fingers

that is for certain therefore my death will be silver
my eyes be shiny like gold then
god is always by my side

you feel me god? good cause i feel you god (HEART)

last breath: tizzop's dead body will be floating on air
because a good man does the right thing (i want to be good)
dead brotherhoodlums be munched by icy blacktop
you feel me?
eternally doomed down there without air
i won't be there  

i am from the ghetto
who cares?  
my hands are made for pens

* WRITE TO SURVIVE

I'm haunting myself
I leave strange notes carved deep
To await me when i wake
In a vain hope
they will evoke some meaning for my sake
The scene that greets me the next day
Is alien and weird
I don't recognise myself
It is just as i feared
So i haunt myself
When the penny drops at midnight
and the demi-gods are in sight
I'll leave a reminder
I hope to find
In the rising of dawn
But when i'm reborn
with a yawn
I find nothing but questions
Dark reflections
In a puddle of beer
and stark rejection
I muddle to clear the rubble and troublesome struggles i near
in my direction
So i haunt myself
I barely remember writing
Never remember feeling
and as soon as i get close to whats real then I turn away reeling
I figure it out every night
But drunk eyes give short sight
and the brain rotten
so as soon as i strain to recall the next day it's forgotten
Amnesia is pleasing when the reason I'm feeling this daemonic screaming is cos it feels as real as the ceiling
Then it subsides for a second
or a minute i reckon
Before the darkness beckons once more
I'm haunting myself
and unsure
I'm scared of the person
I was the night before
I'm host to a ghost
that revels in the terrible things
that cost me the most
Battling with the shadow it casts
hassled by the past like tassels on a cat
Me and the fiend in the glass staring back
I'm haunting myself

there is a cage
inside this cage
there is a man
inside this man
there is his soul
inside his soul



ghosts are debatting
about the pros and cons
of darkness and light

the joker hid the river's whispering
under a blanket of girls, imprint faces
in a forgotten manner, joker smiled

a joker can put on a thief's smile
iceblue talk, straight from the dead
in a time lapse, joker dealt the cards

underworld creatures were filling the bar
they bowlering, deeply engaged in themselves
in a time lapse, goons ordered whisky

hollerings of massive gold bracelets
a crow, a rack or a bible, choose
in a forgotten manner, they did business

Hard times are expired
Fuel of blood for the wild ones
I won, saw and strolled along
In love with dashing

Mom told me about friendship
Not everyone is a friend
So I declared war on everyone
Bought courage and people
In love with dashing
Mmh

Maybach 12 door with them curtains
The world was made from guilt
So I wore a mask of blood
Pumping iron for 8
Cause a niche was lacking
Lingually didn't give a ****
The studio was in flames
64 and a beamer
For the mask of blood
Valley on the mountain top

In love with dashing
Hmmh
In love

speaking for millions of
people who were and who have been suffering from addiction:

i do have to thank the two of you.
the tradition of the twelve steps had not existed before you created and established them.

you have a shelter in my
mind and in my soul.

God bless you.
R.I.P. Bill and Bob

"i don't want to rule or conquer anyone;
  i should like to help everyone if possible —
  jew, gentile, black man, white
  we all want to help one another;
  human beings are like that."

charlie chaplin wrote these words for
"the great dictator" a political satire  
the nazis didn't want to hear anymore
but the dictator's speech went viral

in a wehrmacht's cinema, partisans of tito
made fun of ****** and exchanged
a propaganda-film for chaplin's video
an audience of nazis raged

a flash of fun in a "*****" led by
insane murderers on stimulants

*

mr. chaplin i do thank you for
your outcry emerging from
human tragedy.

good bye...

R.I.P. Charles Spencer Chaplin
✞ December 25th 1977

God bless you.

the ****** of another black male
riots, looting and shooting
divides states of america
a crying statue of liberty

the constitution is a shallow bible
some cops are praying before killing
executions of sworn-in hands
invisible dirt on their fingers

blood is dripping from these lines
this ain't a poem, ya feel me?
autoranking be irrelevant today
justice is, and chauvin has to pay

his name is short for chauvinism:
a belief in national superiority
this inhumane being is self-obsessed
he is not a cop but a killer

when will it all finally stop?
this flood of violence
bring it to an end!
chauvin's knees are a weapon

and he's abused it for too long
put him behind bars, punish him
george, you are in heaven now
surrounded by air: now you can breathe

in memoriam to you
much colorblind love
R.I.P. George Floyd
✞ May 25th, 2020

gökhan is turkish
it means: ruler of heaven

first time i met you:
september 3rd 1993
first day at school

we looked at each other
we wanted to sit together
we became friends

how sturdy you were
people always thought you
were much older
but me?

i had a babyface
hated my babyface
wanted to look older due to my
fatherless childhood
always wanted to be my own dad
wouldn't work though

so gökhan became my daddy
father figure and protector
i looked up to you my man

ruler of heaven

six years later you died of cancer
i rushed to the hospital
countryside germany

when entering your room
aware of your death
i saw your stiff body

and you were smiling
i will never forget that
gökhan

an african-turk growing
up in germany 1990s
called gökhan tatchouop
lost the battle against cancer
sixteen years old

and he really died with a smile
because he was a good man
who did the right thing

as i get older year by year
i could be gökhan's dad by now

you're with me

may ayim
african-german
poetess
essayist

co-established the
term "black german"
decades ago

until then germans would
call a person of color a "neger"
(and too many still do so)

however one
of the most inspiring
talents
took her own life:

august 9
1996

that's it.

god bless you
may ayim

The blue briefcase made of lead
Is floating in the sky of scent
News are pouring down
The rude ones are in charge
Army of fineliners

Don't ask questions
A gang of children robbed us of
Answers
Like a gold watch from the wrist
In Rio

It's all quiet
Nobody is screaming anymore
Since then life's been sliding down
To the ground
Depth of a lake

Nobody got hurt
Videos of a hail of bombs
Who got hurt?
Chatting about the deceased

Innocence is yawning while running
It lost its face
Blind geriatrics are limping ahead
On the hunt for innocence

it's cold in here
red frost, cowboys are shivering
worn-out guys

smoky faces
loners
dancing on puddles

slippery floor of memories
posters of dead ghosts on the walls
mirrors don't reflect the cowboys

their shadows are transparent
the piano man takes them on a journey
24/7

orange smoke fills the air, like mist
goons and traitors occupy all tables
a small bar, downtown, silent quarter
whole ones and racks, bagged, airtight

the zippers of the bottega shine golden
24 k, 24/7, creatures of the night who
are made of struggle, gore and greed
deception and loyalty: the brotherhood

hour of the thieves, year of white marble
350 million a year, a neeeedy enterprise
sick profit, blank sheets floating loosely
shark collar and tattoos, loaded *******

sounds of the past in an air breeze, secretly
old butch is swallowing a paper message
leave no traces, mind dem ears and eyes
wild roses and escalades, the night glows

been living in a rehab
fifth day
telling myself: don't relapse


STAY

the ward physician said
to an addict: YOU are going to relapse
anyhow

the chief resident told
me: if you want to have  
the numbness in your
right shin examined
you are free to leave

my reaction was a
calm one

no resentment because
i found something
inside the rehab
in the addict's stories

in their human faces
i found a healing secret

monday next week would
have been my last day
inside the rehab

today i was told by another patient
that he has nothing to lose
anymore

he confessed to me what he
might do very soon

it was horrifying!

i will not write about it

therefore I am going to
leave here today
in the evening i'll be
meeting good-hearted people
who believe in a
power much bigger than
all of us

a good man does the right thing
that's why i want the good in my life

may god bless us all.

i've had it with the writer's block
forced complexes to shut up

just keep on writing
to find my tizzights

ten minutes ago
i was talking to a woman
whose background i'm
aware of

this woman was pretty and she looked
at me with ****** interest

however: i moved my left arm in
a way that is related to my background as
a fatherless boy

rejection in her eyes the consequence

BUT:

i will never stop to move my arms as i learned moving them
–– precisely this way –– in my childhood

nobody –– male female animal or object –– is able to change this:
i do not need anybody trying.

feel me. that's how i am.

self-acceptance. self-love. courage.

Bunker of the escape key
In the room of fluid walls
Nearby the intersections in realtime
Rain is buzzing through the spirit
Painting vanity made from insanity

I who have nothing
Night seeds under the moonlight
Cursed corners in familiar buildings
The escape key is lost

Did I think I could walk away?
To run away from the ones escaping
Preempting them
In realtime

Hoping for a better tomorrow
To find somebody
Distraction from sorrows
By the intersections in realtime

I who have nothing
Scribbling over paper to forget
Love's another word for revenge

I who have nothing
Lost under miracles I been waiting
The night seeds are bloodred
In fine black soil
By the intersections in realtime

I lost my way
And got into a maze
Made from steel blocks
Where wild fellas get into
Since they forgot being wild

I was ranging through this maze
Belted by an iceblue sky
In truth a sky of ice
Reflections of sterilely white paths
Squished between the steel blocks

I sat down to relax
Just a nap, Max!
One, two, two thousand, three thousand
I slept deeply

Something happened while sleeping
The maze vanished
The steel melted into flames
The ice flew into the ocean
The white paths got blue
I recognized something
A secret
I'm not gonna tell anyone

In the maze

Away I found myself
Foreign country of patches
Surrounded by memories
In a nightcolored dream basin
I found myself

Wise man said: See
Carrying a ghost in his backpack
From voltgreen life fiber
Freezing marble in the dream basin

Accountants sitting at the edges
Bolt upright rows of wooden chairs
Silently writing on sheets
Incessantly in a hailstorm
I was studying them underwater
Followed their actions with my eyes
Like a toddler learning to walk
When the hailstorm was ending
Promptly superseded by the sun

The accountants melting into shadows
Souls were drifting in the dream basin

Sparkling as diamond's ledges
I was not scared of the souls
So I ate them up

To come into the world as a poem
Of a dream basin and accountants
Who became beasts
In another life
From the blood of a dead cat
In the ninth life

tizzy looped his past: he had looped it and then looped it howevah, whoop to diz
gangstapoetry boosted its duties newly
we simply gs, whose duties include

slowmoflow like snoop, or p, ain't no thang
i create slang in the hate center, last trip i flew thru loops, break dancers and readers
want answers, so we give straight answers

lyrics of fame bangers, one rhyme for eight
don't take chances, tizz stylobate, sunrise
poems born from crime, give it some time
gotta come right, sell it all at one price

my blood cries in rough nights, plagued by
enough of tough stuff, but me ain't a fluff
i bluff and take what's rightfully mine
tizz is frightfully nice, he neva comes twice

coco loco, monica matadora tending
first song jeezy's "poppin" pimpin pimpz
red-blodded hamza comin ova to test me
subtly intimidating, i just call him "habibi"

ice breaker, you feel me, we good, truly
check out jammed jay, pushin designer
hamza on the toilet, yayo, his girl, bunny
snugglin wit jammed jay for real by now

close to my dj area, rubbin *** gainst ****
tina staring camly into her secret intention
i expect something vaguely, forget it, tho
as hamza al-mighty gets back, explodes

he beats up jay, promptly breakin' his nose
jay looks at the blood; pulls out a cudgel
bashin hamza's skull, flesh splinters
hamza strikes back wit em bludgeons

wondaland's red light, serving proudly 24/7
hamza's pack, yousif, said, wassim and mo
ready to battle the enemy of the enemy
lego goon, antwone, bobby butchah, juan

Is this the tunnel among tunnels?
Long since I heard of a tunnel
Located in the stomach of tunnels
Reachable via the flat ocean

People only say good things about it
I should say: About this place
Although a tunnel leads to a place
Broken angels dwell in the tunnels

In times past they recovered here
Today they survive in the tunnels
In quest of wings they stayed
Baffled because of their new life

Life vanishes inside the tunnels
Out of it new life originates
Look I live in one of these tunnels
My wife is building a nest from pillows

Angels pass by every day
Their faces are full of wounds
Their clothing smells like stars
Gradually I feel at home

Located in the stomach of tunnels
Reachable via a black outer space
I will die here one day
Dying in the tunnel of eyes and light

the clarity of water
your disconcerted eyes
the peaceful traveller
your shade

the conscience of this page
a hustler who will die
the uplifted ego
death's arrival

exhaustion and ruin
uncle
father
the blink in the statue's frozen glimpse

a nightly graveyard-screech
the outerworld's dog
water, sand and concrete
divided oceans

the uplifted you
feelings of guilt
the repentance at the day of the feast:
it is not me

FOR...







US ARMY