sad dude
with no value
im glad i found you
but it’s too much to handle
i get it
i wouldn’t blame you
if you had to go

don’t just love me
kiss me right
you make me feel so shy
terrains ablaze
everything is so beautiful when we take a bite
boiling under my skin
the love i keep
we won’t be alone
free of sin
sometimes it’s hard to not play the martyr
sorry if it makes you cry
each time it’s out
we realize

things are going to be grey
breathing tar inside
created nights without a sunrise

innocence breeds hopelessness in this world  
don't cry your pains in order to foster their intensity

dark things spoken will play around the mind
like children they scream and curdle throughout the night
chilling sensations wrap around while they mutate

greedy lungs withhold oxygen
their offspring drain the logic from reality

last breaths taken care for the innocent evils that live within
we don't lie for ourselves
when we begin to give life to those living inside our head
it's nothing but negative metamorphisis

i wonder if the demons that follow me
trail behind your thoughts like they do mine
do they pierce the wounds
or do they create new tears upon the flesh
of your beautiful carcass

on your wrist resides your heart
it's love to hold whenever you're feeling alone
defensive you protect yourself
you're careful to expose such a delicate part
the solace and power you need are within you
this is clear

smoking makes me happy
the pain in my lungs reminds me
i am merely man
suffocating myself
just to feel something
not of self deprecation
you keep me safe up here
above the smoke
beyond the barriers of this world
a simple touch
takes me places i could never go
without blackening my insides

scarlet bruises on my neck
id burn my knees just to make you smile
nothing sweeter than the pain in your eyes
and our time slowly chips away
as our bodies shed their mortality
even momentarily
nothing but you
all of my love now lives inside
each dying as we lay


did you get to finish too?

give me ugly
use your words to serrate my soul
paint me bad
lacerate your name into my tongue
whatever you do
do it for fun
because the impression
of your touch
burns like the birth of a star
the pressure from the nebula
collapses my lungs
stifle me with my own emotions
burn me to ash

between your indecisions
you lie lovingly
for my ravaged tongue
to taste the forbidden fruits of the gods’ labor

so that you may be happy
during the summer evenings
i shall squeeze every last drop
till you’re pleased

intoxicating they are
your garden grows
its untouched  lovely fruit for you and I

what scares me
is that
even scars disappear eventually
please
just don’t get tired of me

nobody talks about the disappointment
from letting you down
not living up to the excitement

once the mania wears off
and my frequencies begin to lower
i sink back into normalcy

my shine becomes lackluster
like fools gold
my touch only turns your skin green

eventually everyone grows tired of me

i beg pain to breed my pleasure
the thoughts moving around my head
seem to bring out
the inner peace i seek

like the creator’s discovery of jacob’s ladder
my afflictions expose to me
chaos consummating it’s presence
no sense can be made of this

like god
they aggregate my fears
separating each by fallacy

nothing feels better
than feeding each like my pets
like the unconditional love i’ve never had
i promise them i won’t abandon them

in the dead of night
it always feels like
exhilaration
self hate leaves doubtful residue within me
it’s led me to deny god
how could he do such a thing to me
feelings equate the inferno of my past
to the blaze of my home
often thinking about how i did this
it’s my acceptance of less than love
that has created the deadly persona
practiced divination
to find the answers
of my self doubt
the stars say they shine for me
something in me doesn’t believe them
in me
the liar resides
happiness isn’t allowed
he’s dying though
i might be free soon

your lips so soft
limp for mine
to lead us into the intentions of hope
hope for love
for forever
and the day after that
kiss in sync
and slide against me
with your being
body of a goddess
a lot of living tonight
love isn’t my only shared desire
it’s everything you long for
i want to be the comfort at night
the warm feeling in your eyes
glowing for your heart
accept the beauty of our souls
the concept of together

high octane whippets
bring me closer to sin
lied about remorse
it’s hard to break
to cement my place in hell
thrones made within myself
mindful thoughts of decadence
barren lies the boy
filled with tar and hate
selfish ingrate
no longer a problem
his death left no mark
condescending little ****
stands here his grave

let me rip away the ivory
from the elephant in the room
rebuke its presence
cover my ears
so i don’t have to realize
these anxieties you bring
they long to dethrone me
rip apart each bone
pick apart this broken brain of mine
with each triggered nerve
i scream it’s okay
putrid false indifference
hopeful lies
for the barren sober pain

empty emotions
fuel the deep devotions of yesterday
nothing fulfilling
no true feelings
there was nothing in between
nothing breathing
lifeless ill intended words
that feel like promises
only fueled what made you die