i can’t help but think of how i will never live up
to any and every expectation
of others
and of my own

i wish i could live confidently
living without caution
bursting at my seams with power

but i am weak
i can’t be what you or i want me to be
that doesn’t really seem possible
with all that i lack

the silent whisper of confirmation
that this body is undesirable
my smile is vile
what i lack is all i  have

they say make with do
but i rather throw a penny away
than hope i can save it for later
because that’s sadly how i am
wired to immolate