You never say
"Hey Annie,wait!"

You look into my eyes
But you never see what's behind

You touch my skin in heat
But never discover what's underneath

You never say
"Hey Annie,stay!"

You sit right next to me
But you never hear the silent screams

You hold my arm so tight
But you never feel the scars I hide

Empty we are born
Emptiness we savour
We create
We infuse within
Into the emptiness, we go

Like shadows
Made of nothing, only nothing
Yet when the wind blows
We flutter
Creating empty sounds
Leaving an echo
A trace
Of nothingness

Behind the walls of heaven
Your face
Masking your disgrace

You speak of pleasure
Immortality
All things packed in a wrap

You and your silly games
You, fooling around
As if the world is your only way

You visit us again
To leave again
Hoping things would be the same

Oh, my love
You’re not a friend, love
This time you come around
For your plain defeat
Our lives, hopeless and bleak
All because of you, my misleader
All because of you, my love

You don't need to pretend anymore,
Look at me,I've become so strong,

And I never wanted the sympathy,
Even in my worst nights full of misery,

You can't kick me down ,you see
I'm the sky scrapper,look at me

With just a little faith in myself,
I abandoned each letter on the shelf,

I no more want love from you,
I'm colouring my life with blazing hues

Chained to the cruel power of conflict
Between what I want and what’s best for me
My heart’s throbbing as if I’m being chased
By late night panic attacks, immortal memories

Captive of this room built inside hate
I have to be honest, I can’t do this anymore
Screaming the truth in the shadows
Painting a different picture as I walk out the door

Stumbling in the garden of thorns -I thought of as roses
Blowing on dandelions torn in my bleeding hand
Had I not mentioned how broken I feel?
Stepping over the beautiful castle I made of sand

Crumpled up letters of confessions I write
Of things I want myself to know now
The ones I keep forgetting like a careless child
Bring me the “you” who hadn’t lied, I’ld bow

I get it. I totally get it. I can finally see who you really are. You've been rejected so many times. You offered love in a tray fabricated with flowers and glitter and somebody threw it away. Yeah —I see it now. I see that look in your eyes. You're screaming inside. You want people to see the real you but at the same time you don't want to explain yourself to them anymore. Because you're tired. You're exhausted from all the mess life has put you through. People judge you for being the way you are but you're so desperate for them to realise it themselves —that the real you –that the real you is still capable of receiving love and giving love in return. But it's not happening. You're cursed by your own deep, dark thoughts and it's a cycle you can't escape from. Unless —unless someone good enough pulls you out of it.

I want you to stay
When I ask you to leave

I want you to say nice things
When it's falling apart for me

You asked me
To help a dying man -and I did

With bruises on my arms
A kiss on my lips

You ran out of your cigarette
I ran out of wine

I let the fate ****** all
What once was mine

You hurt me so good
Spinning me around all night

Holding me so tight
So you don't lose the sight

After all, you're the cage I dread
A ghost –infatuating my mind

You came to burn my soul
I've seen the rage,
In your dark eyes,
I have seen the ravaging fire

I am the smile on your face
Feel me
I am the thump of your heart
Need me
I am the emotion of anger
Show me
I am the destruction of mind
Torment me

An ocean of inexplicable secrecy
I am,
I am right here,
In the atmosphere

Calling, squalling
So desperate and keen
So broken,
I am

I am in the tears you cry,
Even when I am shy,
I am
As long as you are

For you want me to,
As so I linger
Close to you,
Evermore, I am

I have a heart of stone
I love you but I'm not in love with you

I adore the way you stare
But I can't be yours, no matter what you do

I see desperation
I see more than what you show

We could have been lovers
But in a different time, with our high and lows

You and me
We could mean something together

I don't want to lie to you
But I want to be lonely forever

I have been looking around
For my life to have an impact

If I wasn't down for darkness
I could have worshipped you infact

Though —no matter where you go
You'll always be mine

Even if I am not keeping you
You're my Norse realm, all nine

Everyday I try to hold onto hope,
But I always end up thinking about hanging myself from a rope,

Unreal it seems most of the time,
But I try to calm myself down, hearing the melodious chimes,

Perplexity prevails as I try to stand up,
I never could tell if it could be this tough,

    Disaster ,disaster, everywhere
   Now I end up saying
  "I don't care"

Is it already the end?
Only yesterday I felt alive
After all these years
For the very first time

You looked like danger
So I distance myself from you
Every time you reach
I run away like a fool

You see
I intend not to heal
But you, my sweetest
Wish the best for me

Filling my blood with infatuation
Creeping into my bones
Too deep inside me
Before I could even call you ‘home’

Piercing through my skin
Warm, persistent -how a man should be
You fail to see one thing
You’re too good for me

Don’t tell me
How the grass is greener
On the other side
When you know well enough
That I’m behind the horizon
– out of my mind

Too many aching nights
And my body is numb
Heart is getting cold
While I linger
Waiting for the unknown
Waiting to grow old

Somebody told me not to
Fill the void inside me
With temporary bliss
Oh, what do they know?
I don’t desire the new
I’m breathing in reminisce

It’s hard to think of myself
Let alone somebody else
Now that I’m awake
It took me years
Not to feel a thing
For my own petty sake

You can’t pull me back
On to ”the other side”
Your cruel, always-changing side
I needed stability
And so I chose the gravity
Pulling me down –oh it’s one of a kind

She looked at him with philia
As if she stood a chance
In her bedroom, she created a world
A dream of New York, Rome and France

All she wanted was him,
But she poetized her love on papers,
Like a child tells a pet,she wrote
"Darling,I will fight it like a scrapper."

She longed for a peek from him,
For, in him, her world dwelled
And when saw him beamishing,
All over again in love ,she fell

Then one day he went away,
Over the seas, over the bay,
She mourned ,lamented,
And finally gave way,

In her last breath she said,
**"I am strong and I could still fight,
I had regarded him as my life,
But I want to see him one last time."

Give me a cocktail,
Give me whiskey,
I need to be drunk tonight,

Give me a potion,
Give me happy pills,
I need to disappear from light,

Let there be darkness,
- the demons,
I want to be possessed this time,

Let there be pain,
Just a little bit of disgrace,
I don't want to be "just fine",

Tune in Mayday Parade,
Let it knock my head,
I really want to feel alive,

I don't see if you care,
So let there be knives and blades,
I want to be dead at the same time

We met in the dark light
Too many stars
But no spotlight

You told me I look good in color
Said "Your soul isn't dark"
So you came to see me in brown leather

Held my hand as if you'ld never leave
Broke every promise
Wasn't there a single one you could keep?

I told you once or maybe twice
I'm strong enough not to be needy
So you started off by playing nice

You had me looking like a fool
Made me think I'm weak
You say you care? Who??

My home is within me
Leave as if you were never here
I'm unbreakble, now can you see?

Thousands of words
Inside my head
I would have said something
I chose to stay quiet instead

I keep telling myself
None of this is true
That the Sun is still here
The sky is still blue

I can't think straight
With the narcotics in my veins
Not that I want to die
But all of this was in vain

I feel too old
Don't feel like carrying the weight
Of things that went wrong
The lying, the cheating, the hate

I don't need anyone
And it only makes me glad
I guess loss has a funny way
Of making you strong like that

Mother,
Please tell me I did what’s right
I saved them a stupid fight

Oh my sweet mother
Tonight I want to be alone and cry
When I needed someone, nobody even tried

It’s too tragic to be true
I had the chance to be the person
Who stabbed me, shot me with her canon

I broke the cycle, mother
I told her I won’t be the one
Who steals her boy just for fun

I did what I needed someone to do for me
Not break me
But to set me free

I want to almost complain
Why was I left alone?
Locked out of my own home?

But then I hear God speak to me
Love me the way I wasn’t loved before
Taught me, less is always more
My God, softening my inner core
Guiding me through mountain and the shore
Hearing me when I’m silent and when I roar
My God, my God

The story has gotten old,
A million times been told,

Just the journey of a broken heart,
From desperation to a new start,

The halo and the magical wings,
Seemed like an angel mending broken strings,

Counting the 'could nots' and 'coulds',
Finally got out of the dark woods,

There were trials, the loss, the misplay,
But in the end ,there was victory ,no despair

Internalised screams
Muffled cries
Your silent eyes
Your broken smile


Unspoken confessions
Raging anger
Your beautiful isolation
Your aching voice


It pains me to walk past you
Not saying a word
As if I am ignorant of what I have seen
As if my ignorance would almost make it disappear
Would it?

Walking past the streets
As I look up at the flickering stars
And the lavishing gleam of street lamps

These faces beside me
And the mysteries behind me
No wonder why they feast upon darkness

Silence there is ,but still
Utterance can be heard here
Maybe of the voices inside our heads

Dark but not evil,
Hurt but not hurting,
She's been like that
She's been like that -from the beginning,

All the insecurities within,
And all the beautiful people around,
She was intimidated, bruised,
But she didn't make a sound,

She wondered,
"How it is so easy for them?
To laugh, to live,
And to make friends,

How is it that I don't fit in?
How is it possible for a human,
To be as weak,
As a butterfly wing?

And what could have been,
If only I was pretty enough,
Maybe,
Just maybe I wouldn't look so dumb."

After always being left behind,
If now she wants to be alone,
What do you expect?
If not a heart like a stone?

She's the hero of her own story,
A villain, at the same time,
Some days, she saves herself,
Some days, she has demons to dine

I’m not sure if I can make it till the finish line
In so many years, I’m trying to be honest for the first time

When the sky turns dark, and the lights go off
I run with my demons –away from people, away from love

Its a ceaseless cycle —of needing to be seen but hiding
Underneath the cold blanket of meaningless conversations

It is not something I am proud of -believe me when I say this
I used to be the girl fantasising my first dance, my first kiss

But now I see how I’ve turned out to be so cold and grey
Because life is funny that way

One day you’re fearless and bright, almost reaching the sky
And the next you’re locked in your room, because nothing now makes you smile

I was scared, lost
I felt anxious

Happiness betrayed me
And I felt nauseous

I looked into the mirror
Displeasure owned me

I walked out of my home
Demons cloned me

All my life
I was never at ease

I had to take drugs
And little anti-depressant pills

With nobody to share
I felt lonely and unnoticed

Nobody knew my secrets
As I built my anxiety hills

They judged me
Called me someone I never was

I wish,I wished
That they could know my past

And here I am
Its just another night

My heart craves to swallow drugs,
Just so I can finally feel alright

I'm a mess, I know
Back then I was eleven years old
I saw my mother fighting each day
Cancer really spoils you in the worst possible way

I wanted to run, I wanted to change
But I guess old habits can't be tamed
I longed for the attention, the care
I know it sounds selfish, but does it sound insane?

Things happen for a reason, and so I know
I was only happy when I had the stars that glowed
Little hands longing love, put on hold
"You need to change" –as so I was told

Behind this mask
You can't see
But its still there
Even if you can't believe

This black gown
And a black rose in my hand
This black mask
And a dark place where I stand

Here I call names
But you can't hear
Here I call for help
But you can't be here

Leave me alone with cannabis
In this incredible masquerade
No one ever listens
But I can see your skin colours fade

Everybody here thinks I'm perfect
They can't look inside
Everybody can't apprehend the laughter
Because they want it in concise ~

I guess
I'm merely an ugly mess

She was told to give up her mythical struggle
She was pushed away a thousand times
The walls could hear some words being mumbled
But who could actually stop the cries?

She was the one who hung the chimes
Just because it was too silent
The girl whose heart was free of crimes
But at night, she used to be so violent

Suffering from trauma
She hit herself
Slit her arms
That once were adored

Now it seems that she is doing fine
Yesterday she said "I have been a nike"
I wonder - wonder if her soul is at peace
How long will she have to fight?

I have to tell you,
So I must tell you now,
It does not get any easier,
Life can **** "life" out of you
And there is nothing which you can do

Time after time,
Year after year,
Moment after a moment,
You will find yourself, right here
Not feeling a thing, desperate -in despair

There will be good days
And after a while
Your days will again be more like the night
As if someone has put you on hold
Nothing will seem real as you start to get old

And one becomes greedy,
Just to get to feel anything at all
So you might end up taking it to the extreme
Willing to do things -wild things on your own
Discovering yourself a bit more -each time you're alone

But it's a shame
When the intensity doesn't feed you anymore
You just have to live this way,
Feeling cold, more like a walking corpse,
Dead inside, no love, no remorse

Every night
And everyday
He searched for
Something to say

Upset
Feeling insecure
He returned home
With nothing to say

He said
He wanted to do something
That would change his life
And make everything alright

He said
He needed to be somewhere
Never really told where
But said it was far from here

And when I asked him
Why was he so desperate
Why did he want it to change
He had nothing to say

When I asked him
What made him a house of curiosity
And made his life a mystery
He just had nothing to say

Up above the sky,
And then back to my heart,
There is not a thing,
Which can ever fix my heart,

Deep into the ocean,
And then back to your cruel mind,
There is nothing - just nothing
Which can ever be less kind,

But today when I smile,
It's all because of you,
For a thousand years and more,
Darling, I have loved you.

A fantasist in her own
She built her best and her worst,

Staying awake by the fire
She wrote tales of her cursed fights,

Lost in profound thoughts,
She found her peace she never got,

This time ,the wind blew in the alternate direction
Inside ,she was still a girl looking for peace
But she pretended to be okay with good intentions

This time ,he was back for another while
Whispering "My girl,you have changed"
With a temporary subtle desire

She said "I have become everything
Everything you couldn't think I could be
Strong and moved on

I have came along a long way,John
When you left the door open while leaving
I am okay now but it was so wrong."

I will be reaching you from the finest path,
Of which my darling, you could not have thought,

Well I don't mean to say I don't cherish you anymore,
Its just that love,you haven't been home for so long,

People change ,memories fade
But this romance will forever stay

Time passes, heart aches,
But this emotion will linger for your grace