“you look just like your father”
Such revolting words to hear at a young age.
“my father is old”, I´d say, and I don´t want to look like him.
Something about the eyes I suppose. Small teary eyes, reminiscent of youth, that disappear when he smiles truthfully.
I didn't like looking like my father
My mother is much prettier, her glamorous touch and understanding voice, a radiance that lives on with her presence.
Dad is not delicate.
Strong rough hands,
Knows nothing of true beauty
Dominant tones in his speech.
It's a bittersweet feeling
Looking like someone you don't fully recognize;
We look precisely alike
Yet I do not wish to be him, in a way.
I don't think I've ever seen him cry.
His emotions are concealed deep within
For vulnerability is his weakness
Because his father taught him so.
But then again, I've seen him laugh,
And I believe that shows more range,
Like he is almost letting go
Are you letting go, dad?
I'd like it if you did.
For the moments you show me things are cherished like the most important treasure
When you say hopeful words about the weather, or kiss me on the cheek
Like you always used to do.
I feel small, dad
Smaller than I've ever felt
And to me, you are so grand
A giant even.
You know all the answers, no doubt about it,
I just need you to tell them softly. Softest.
You tend to speak so harshly
Are you still to comprehend
That we are not the same?
I need your beauty, dad.
I need you when you laugh,
When you sing,
When you hold me close to your chest like a child and run your fingers through my hair,
Saying whatever you need to say,
Adam's apple vibrating,
and hesitate to let go.
I look just like you, indeed
Therefore I'm afraid
you don't see me.