"A 'sociopathic perpetrator'..
we will ghost him  forever"

But what is this  thing
  she feels..

Why is the picture  painted
so very  different
   from  the  one
   she now  remembers?

"We will help her to forget."
            .      .      .


The saving of one's soul
from that which would steal
is not done  in violence
   (Though it still   feels
   that it should be)

It is done in patience,
and in reminding one
of who it is they truly are.

     Tell me,  world
     of who you think
     a father  should be

And watch  me laugh
my mother-*******  *** off.
Tell me all about it,  world.


  And I will show you all
      what truly saves.

it's almost a year since tore me apart
on that one minute call when you broke my heart
we'd been fighting for hours
i thought you'd be above break-up texts, but you deigned to be a coward

now i'm with somebody new and
i see that you are too
but it's hard to move on when
all our memories are distorted;
my brain shielded all the memories where you were sordid  

i know you can't undo all you've done to me
but imagine if there was a possibility
would you take the chance to make things right
or would you act like it never happened until karma takes her bite?

There's no water
In my well;
No pulley,
No bucket
On the end of a rope,
For you.

There's no water
In the cup
Of poison
I spew.

Sometimes the wind blows past my face.
And I ask myself "How come my dress won't fit me?"

Sometimes the bath water is cool.
And I ask myself "When will my job get easier?"

Sometimes I destroy old pictures.
And I ask myself "Will my brother be able to handle his responsibility?"

Sometimes lights scatter on my slender figure.
And I tell myself "I think I should draw now."

Sometimes people say things about being a happy person.
And I prepare myself "Work starts early tomorrow, I'll go earlier."

Sometimes I need to feel something.
And I state facts myself "That driver is a terrible driver, but I'm a good driver"

Sometimes the drugs i do make people ashamed to know me.
And I whisper to myself "Everyone around me is so stupid."

Sometimes people take advantage of my kind nature.
And I scream at myself "Ugh! Why is work so unbelievably inefficient."

Sometimes I remember I came from a broken home.
And my lungs burn with ash "But I'm trying to quit."

Sometimes I hide my darkest secrets of people who betrayed me.
And I wail at the ceiling "God this night is fun!"

Sometimes I dream about a life where I'm happy.
And I tell myself from the bottom of my heart "I'm happy to be who I am."

Sometimes I think about ending my life.
And I tell my friends "I need time and space to get better."

Sometimes I cry for no reason.
And my heart speaks to me "It'll pass."

Sometimes I remember my heart has been frozen for  decade.
And I pridefully spout "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sometimes my nightmares give me anxiety attacks.
And I think "I need a warm shower to relax."

But tomorrow, after the dreams I can't handle have passed.
I'll forget a few more sad thing I've had done to me and have done to others.
And I'll echo the words of others to show them how stupid they are.
My heart will remain frozen to keep the few things I like about myself. Forget, forget, forget the memories that caused me so much pain. It's my only choice. Love, hate, pain, all of it has to go.
-------------------------------------------------------------­------------------------
Sometimes I think I'm broken.
And I have been broken many times.
And know he should have picked me.
Because I'm better.

Because I can control myself.

I give my daily offering to the mighty Gods,
I thank Hades and Demeter for their gifts of allowing crops and vegetation,
I thank Zeus for protecting and leading all of us,

But as i proceed to thank the rest of the Mighty Gods i see him, so gracefully walking and carrying stones, i loose myself gazing at him not realising the thunderous storm building up,

Not knowing the Gods have noticed my defiance,
Loosing myself within his lively aura and graceful soul,
Unwillingly I decide to give him the most precious thing i have to offer,
My heart; is now forever his and only his,

The Gods seeing that now my undying loyalty lies only to him,
They see this as treacherous and label me as a heretic,
In doing so they decide to give me a more inferior punishment than Death itself,
Zeus building up his eternal power,
Gives a uplifting yet dim thunderbolt strike,
I see that it is directed toward him,
Panicking yet paralysed i watch,
My one true love fall still,
His lifeless heavenly green eyes gazing at me,

And then i realised my heart is now forever lost in the underworld with my one true love.

on the battle field of courage and pain
the young men defend the old politicians
the cost is blood and treachery