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29.9k · May 2014
Annie May 2014
The way you pretended
Is the way
You love her now
The way you didn't
Is the way
You value her now
No vengeance will there be
But baby
You will have to pay for it
7.2k · Oct 2014
Annie Oct 2014
Behind this mask
You can't see
But its still there
Even if you can't believe

This black gown
And a black rose in my hand
This black mask
And a dark place where I stand

Here I call names
But you can't hear
Here I call for help
But you can't be here

Leave me alone with cannabis
In this incredible masquerade
No one ever listens
But I can see your skin colours fade

Everybody here thinks I'm perfect
They can't look inside
Everybody can't apprehend the laughter
Because they want it in concise ~
Its about you and pain.
5.9k · Jul 2014
Short Story
Annie Jul 2014
In pale fragile hands

Stuck on the boy in front

A smile
Sassy enough to fascinate

Untold but always kept in mind
5.9k · May 2014
A Woman
Annie May 2014
She was torn apart
Unchasteness surrounding her
But her God could see
Her virtuous soul underneath ~
So He bestowed her
With forgiveness ~
And she became a separatist
Isolating from critics
Making her way through
And accepting the mistakes
She grew stronger
Each day
4.6k · Jul 2018
Annie Jul 2018
I'm not looking for love,
Not even one fanatic idea,
But somebody I could talk to,
About things most consider a trivia,

I want to celebrate small things,
Share the moon in the sky,
Find happiness in our old habits,
Silly ranting, overeating, being shy,

A place far away from this town,
Where the clouds are clear and white,
Weekends under the lights –in the city,
Laughing away the fuss everytime we fight,

Nights discussing the dark theories there have been,
And many more yet to come,
Cold feet –the sound of burning fire,
Face glowing with smiles until it goes numb
4.2k · May 2014
Unfaithful Lullaby
Annie May 2014
I can't forget to remember
That night when I woke up from a nightmare
He was laying beside me ,thought he cared
But when I heard ,he was singing me an 'unfaithful' lullaby,
Singing about being treacherous and the hopeful goodbyes
So delirious
He was
4.0k · Jul 2018
The City
Annie Jul 2018
There I was yet again –in the middle of my thoughts. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts take me wherever they could. Every breath seemed like it lasted a lifetime. Every intake felt like a new life innovating my consciousness. I was high on the hope for something new. I had broken pieces of my heart in my left hand –weighing me down and down. But I kept on holding onto the rope of rejoice with my right hand. As bizarre as it sounds, I felt good. I felt relieved with my dark side and the brighter side. The car horns in amidst of this city echoed -one after the other. It was as if everything was finally in its right place. It was as if I was finally who I were supposed to be. Every thing I was feeling —all made sense. My freezing hands, the cool breeze against my face, the tears stuck in my eyes, the crowded streets, the sound of giggles coming from a distance –this city made me feel alive once again.
3.7k · Jan 2015
Melody Of Seven
3.5k · Jul 2015
Silent Innovation
Annie Jul 2015
I've been climbing up these stairs for so long now,
But I'm still standing from where I started this brawl,

Is this a joke or am I part of a haunted story,
Cause lately I've been deprived of all the light and glory,

I try so hard to take one more step ahead,
But I fall back even harder instead,

I can hear the voices telling me to let this go,
Except that I am not ready yet to **** my own show,

How do I beat this out with merely a house of cards?
I'm not even an expert at beclouding my battle scars.
3.3k · Nov 2014
Late Night Walk
Annie Nov 2014
Walking past the streets
As I look up at the flickering stars
And the lavishing gleam of street lamps

These faces beside me
And the mysteries behind me
No wonder why they feast upon darkness

Silence there is ,but still
Utterance can be heard here
Maybe of the voices inside our heads
3.0k · Feb 2016
The Anticipated Love
Annie Feb 2016
One last time
I had to look back
I had to have
My very last glance

She was my mother
And I loved her

I know
She fed me
I know she cared
I know sometimes
She wished I wasn't even there

We could hold the grudge
For as long as you seek
But Momma,
Aren't you supposed to love me?

I desire your blessings,
I yearn for your fondness,
Momma how can you not see?
Your daughter is not what you believe,

I have become a waste
Somebody's worst day
But you don't even bother
If I leave or if I stay
2.9k · Apr 2015
Annie Apr 2015
Still thinks of her
He keeps blaming himself
He can't imagine a life without love

He keeps thinking about that night
When nothing went according to his might
He has to suffer
For she was his only pride

This loss is a tragedy
His life is so lost in all this agony
If only she was here
He must have felt like a king after victory

The city lights make no difference
So around his heart,he builds a fence
People all around crack jokes
As he seems to be losing his sense

He shouts but no one to hear the cries
He calls her name as in Heaven,she sighs
He wonders if there's a way,
So at night in the dark, up in sky, he flies
For people who have lost someone to death or to life.
2.1k · May 2014
Annie May 2014
And once again ,he left
This time with a 'goodbye'

He said he won't come back
This time for the sake of the 'goodbye'

I have no surprises ,not at all
This time it was a profound 'goodbye'

The intensity was felt by the wind,
This time we bade our last 'goodbye'
2.0k · Jul 2015
Ugly Words
Annie Jul 2015
All I am is ugly,
All I see is ugly,
All I feel is ugly
2.0k · Apr 2015
I Don't Care
Annie Apr 2015
Everyday I try to hold onto hope,
But I always end up thinking about hanging myself from a rope,

Unreal it seems most of the time,
But I try to calm myself down, hearing the melodious chimes,

Perplexity prevails as I try to stand up,
I never could tell if it could be this tough,

    Disaster ,disaster, everywhere
   Now I end up saying
  "I don't care"
1.8k · Feb 2016
Who Is She?
Annie Feb 2016
She has friends
A lot of friends
Yet she feels alone

She knows them
But they don't know her
Not any of them

Its such a despair -
A tragedy I plead
The one who has loved
Is always neglected indeed
Annie Dec 2018
I want you to stay
When I ask you to leave

I want you to say nice things
When it's falling apart for me

You asked me
To help a dying man -and I did

With bruises on my arms
A kiss on my lips

You ran out of your cigarette
I ran out of wine

I let the fate ****** all
What once was mine

You hurt me so good
Spinning me around all night

Holding me so tight
So you don't lose the sight

After all, you're the cage I dread
A ghost –infatuating my mind

You came to burn my soul
I've seen the rage,
In your dark eyes,
I have seen the ravaging fire
1.7k · May 2014
Mentally Abused
Annie May 2014
She was told to give up her mythical struggle
She was pushed away a thousand times
The walls could hear some words being mumbled
But who could actually stop the cries?

She was the one who hung the chimes
Just because it was too silent
The girl whose heart was free of crimes
But at night, she used to be so violent

Suffering from trauma
She hit herself
Slit her arms
That once were adored

Now it seems that she is doing fine
Yesterday she said "I have been a nike"
I wonder - wonder if her soul is at peace
How long will she have to fight?
You're not alone.
1.6k · Mar 2015
Just A Survivor
Annie Mar 2015
I shut the door and let the demons play,
They said, "This time we have planned to stay."

So I sat in the corner of a sickening black room,
And I let the voices in my head to bloom,

Heaven, for the demons,the night had become,
As I watched them with knives,offering me some,

I prayed to God to get me out of there,
"Thee soul is ours.", is what they cleared,

Eventually, I saw a light at the end of pain,
It was mercy waiting for me down the lane,

Some called me a 'hero',others said 'wicked',
But who was to judge,when I had won the ticket,

For I know that for every tear,there is a sorrow to fade,
For every dark night,there is a promising bright day
1.5k · Nov 2017
Silk Robes
Annie Nov 2017
Red roses
And your broken smile
Don't go
Please stay here for a while

We'll talk
About how the world will end
The dark theories
And the forgotten thread

The broken glass
And the moon lighting our faces
Feel the moment
Feel it before we leave our traces

In a hundred years
And days I can't count
These silk robes will smell like us
But we won't be here -we won't be found
1.5k · Jul 2018
Flickering Memory
Annie Jul 2018
If not anything else, I'll give you memories to keep
No touch, but a bucket full of flowers before I leave

One day, when the petals dry out, and your skin wears time
You'll recall the joy you've had, the echo of laughter and I'll be on your mind

Just like a sharp, wrenching arrow –you once crossed my heart
They saw you staring subtly, but I knew it was best to stay apart

I'll have this picture of you in my mind –white shirt, blue jeans
Running across the flawed fences, smiling, young and carefree

When you're weary, old hands reach out for a cup of tea
Maybe you'll realise how I reached out for you but you didn't see me
1.5k · Jun 2015
Incomplete Love Story
Annie Jun 2015
She looked at him with philia
As if she stood a chance
In her bedroom, she created a world
A dream of New York, Rome and France

All she wanted was him,
But she poetized her love on papers,
Like a child tells a pet,she wrote
"Darling,I will fight it like a scrapper."

She longed for a peek from him,
For, in him, her world dwelled
And when saw him beamishing,
All over again in love ,she fell

Then one day he went away,
Over the seas, over the bay,
She mourned ,lamented,
And finally gave way,

In her last breath she said,
**"I am strong and I could still fight,
I had regarded him as my life,
But I want to see him one last time."
1.5k · Jan 2015
Tonight At Eleven
Annie Jan 2015
Once in my life
I saw a divine

Eyes fluttering like leaves
Throbbing my heart beat

Pretty little smirk
No bad intentions ,no dirt

Flushed cheeks
Hair so sleek

My archangel , a holy soul
When made a sound ,not a leaf felt alone

For a while , I sensed Heaven
Descending down, tonight at eleven
As an appreciation for the beautiful people that God has created.
1.4k · Aug 2014
Father - Daughter
Annie Aug 2014
The little girl cries as she watch her father walk away,
All the hopes dying inside ,she's got nothing to say,

All the traumatic situations that she's been through,
And as she looks back ,she realize there's nothing she can do,

The mother cuddles her and tells her to stop crying,
She says, "Mother nothing is so important ,but he was worth dying."

Tears rolling down the eyes,
Broken heart beats inside,

Silence echoing the four walls,
Her father was expert at lying
An old piece
1.3k · Sep 2017
Highway to Your Broken Heart
Annie Sep 2017
They want to change you
Yet break you
They say they don't mean to
But they leave you

You're a damaged piece
They all could see
A sterile seed
Mended but unsealed

There's a long, long way
To the heart you don't give away
A path of dismay
Gravel of things left unsaid

You're a different story
With ravel, no glory
So venomous, so lonely
Ruining yourself impatiently

There's only one way to you
A twisted and crooked route
Understood by just a few
For you bear no truth

You're an illusion, like art
The end of a beautiful start
There yet is
A windy highway to your broken heart
1.3k · Jan 2015
The Truth About Love
Annie Jan 2015
I see people
Heart broken
Just like I have been

I see them
I watch them cursing love
Trying to move on

You know
Why there is
All this misery?

Is a healer
Only when minor

It cures the broken
Perfects a smile
And keeps you hoping

But love itself
Is not perfect
Just like you, just like me

It may leave you broken
Haunt your smile
Steal your desires

But let's not
Put the blame on love
Lets not bury it

For it deserves a chance
Like you and me
Let's keep its traces

You need not to
Depend on love

For your happiness
Should lie within
You, your God and music

Be the thunder
To the stormy nights
The rainbow after a rainy day

And to me
This and only this is
The truth about love
Well,in my perspective.
1.3k · Jul 2018
Annie Jul 2018
Dear person
That stinging feeling in your chest
That overwhelming fear of death
That demon in your head
Let's put it all to rest

If you ask me
I can tell you stories with no end
And just before "hate" was about to bend
They tell you heart is not to mend
Seal your lips —let's pretend

You and me, us
We're the tribe here to suffer
It gets lonely, but you're tougher
Speak the truth, why you muffle?
"Always happy" is for the bluffer

Hear me out here today
When you lose and there's nothing to say
Raise you head, life's a play
You need to fight for it to pay
Be prepared —because it may..

You're the ashes but in a golden tray
Feel the difference, feel it here
You're not deep
Oh but –you're oceans away

Far from reach because you fly
Your conscience will remain
Out of dozens, because you were sane
Always picked on, felt the pain
Stand high, don't be tamed
Enjoy the storm —let it rain
1.3k · Apr 2015
Annie Apr 2015
Life seems like a joke,
It laughs while I choke,

Sympathy is all we need,
And just one person to look underneath,

The days seem darker than the night,
For only by yourself , you feel alright,

The good stuff turns into a nightmare,
It leaves you alone to sit and stare,

Life is full of injustice,
It lacks the way to our only bliss,

I wonder if I should pray,
I never find out, but that's okay..
1.3k · Jul 2015
Partial Silly Love
Annie Jul 2015
Up above the sky,
And then back to my heart,
There is not a thing,
Which can ever fix my heart,

Deep into the ocean,
And then back to your cruel mind,
There is nothing - just nothing
Which can ever be less kind,

But today when I smile,
It's all because of you,
For a thousand years and more,
Darling, I have loved you.
1.2k · Aug 2018
Cherry Lips
Annie Aug 2018
I devote the nakedness
All to you
All for you

The longing of the dark nights
Thinking of you

Rattling leaves
So quiet
Yet impatient

Asking the silence
Are you for me?
Like I am for you
1.1k · Jul 2018
Hard Love
Annie Jul 2018
This night has suddenly became quieter
What's happening -I thought I was getting better?

Am I that messed up in my head?
Thinking about things you did -instead of what you said

I guess it's true
Nothing good happens at night after 2

One moment, I feel so empowered, happy
The next, I find my heart too shabby

It's as if I've shut a girl deep inside
Screaming so loud.. God, I'm tired

When I tell you it hurts —it does
On a physical level, it creates the fuss

After you, it was hard to let somebody in
I had to move on –but it seemed like a sin
1.1k · Apr 2015
Journey Of A Broken Heart
Annie Apr 2015
The story has gotten old,
A million times been told,

Just the journey of a broken heart,
From desperation to a new start,

The halo and the magical wings,
Seemed like an angel mending broken strings,

Counting the 'could nots' and 'coulds',
Finally got out of the dark woods,

There were trials, the loss, the misplay,
But in the end ,there was victory ,no despair
Fight till the end, since you can.
1.1k · Jul 2015
I Am A Flaw
Annie Jul 2015
I wish that I could explain,
What I feel when I look into the mirror,
I wish I could make you see,
How intensely it pulls my trigger,

I walk this path alone tonight,
There's disgrace,no friends are around,
I might have to jump this time,
If you're there, why don't you make a sound?

Do you know too? What it feels like,
When the ones you love drift away,
Do you know too? How much it hurts,
When no one smiles when they hear your name,

I am, from where the stars will shine on you,
But I can't touch them for now,
My skin is ugly and it's hateful,
You wouldn't want this oddity to grow,

With my baffled thoughts I return to my bed,
I don't want to do this, but I have to,
With another complex day ahead,
I close my eyes, hoping this would end soon
1.1k · Oct 2014
Heart ,I carry
Annie Oct 2014
Invincible feelings
I carry ~

With a heart
Heavy with the weight of
Fierce pain ~
1.0k · Jan 2015
Poor Sam Darling
Annie Jan 2015
She was waking off the beach,
Trying to laugh,trying to speak,
But there's something wrong,
She must be holding inside the tears,
Let me take a look ,now let me see,

  She looks into the mirror,she's displeased,
It seems as if she's a disease,
But look at that soul,
I think there's only fear and insecurity,
Can we help her? Can we,please?

She tries to do the best she can,
But she still falls down ,oh Sam!
Staggering through the hallway,
She thinks,"Well, now how bad?"
   I hope there is something special for her, like a man,

She wanted to be alone tonight,
And sat there in the corner of her room, with no light
I think she has taken enough of it,
Somebody has to stop the tears, and I
But hey, will she finally feel alright?
1.0k · May 2014
Annie May 2014
They all deceased
The savage station master was deaf enough not to hear the screams
He couldn't worry to see the way it bleeds

And oh their ghosts
Still haunting the place
Looking for a little help
But don't look at their face

An untold story
An unresolved mystery
Of the underground rail track
And the heart-less Station Master

Along came Mr.Gordy
With his heavenly glory
Revealing the 'enigma'
He waved a goodbye
Inspired by movie "Haunting In Connecticut"
985 · Aug 2017
A Cry For Help
Annie Aug 2017
Do you ever shave?
Just so you could play with a blade
And smile?
Even though inside you're only scared

Everyone worked and won,
Everyone came and now is gone
While I lay here on my bed,
In dark, with my skin gone wrong

Do you ever spend hopeless days?
And the nights romanticing your grave
Or is it just me?
The one who laughs but all in vain

I have become an ugly mess
And I'ld look disgusting, I confess
Even if I put on red lipstick
And a good dress
916 · Jul 2014
The Bitter Truth
Annie Jul 2014
And for a while
There was love again

Coming from the directions of haste
But all in vain

Because after a while
There were fights again

Heavy cold words echoing the room
It always ends so soon
Life of lovers.
884 · Oct 2014
Dour Determination
Annie Oct 2014
Something sweet
In my ear tonight
I'll have my nightmares anyway

My imperfections
I hide within me
I'll have my insecurities anyway
My life ..
880 · Mar 2018
Break Loose
Annie Mar 2018
To all those times,
I was left to cry,
Standing behind the shadow,
For I was too shy,

Too many times I almost believed,
I could be somebody else,
Reach the stars,
Ring the holy bells,

I was brought down to reality,
Each year –another turmoil,
You say, "Act like a good girl."
Oh but I am only going to spoil,

My sins, my pieces,
You never will understand, you won't
In ten years I see myself alone,
All the memories yet linger to haunt,

I don't expect anyone to love me,
To stay,
The home I've been looking for,
See, within me, it'll survive

Alone, I'll be just fine,
Get away from this hopeless town,
I'll go very, very far away,
Far enough – just to never be found
878 · Feb 2020
The Predator in Your Head
Annie Feb 2020
I screamed
Hoping someone would be awake
To hear the sound of damage

If not me
I wanted to alert the rest
Of the predation I became the victim to

Because you were the kind of guy
They don’t warn you about
You’re the kind they praise

The one who gets into the house
Uninvited but welcomed
Because you know how to make them smile
Slowly infesting the heads
To get into cold beds
Because you enjoy the *******
You enjoy the art of treachery
The idea of being good at one thing
Feeding on the muffled, “Please”
But you don’t stop
Not until you fill blood in the crease
You’re ruthless, and you’re proud of it
876 · May 2019
we knew all along
Annie May 2019
You made a fool out of me
Or did I do it to myself?
We both played around
For a while, we called it love

Now I am walking through the city
Trying to catch emotions again
It’s hard to like someone
So dressing up is surely in vain

I’m spinning around my room
Dancing to the music in my head
Who knew, love and hate
Good and sin, all go with red?

I’m still thinking of where
I went wrong -made you walk away
Must have been the way I adored you
Could’ve been something you said

Yet how foolish are we?
Trying to find love in our fights
Holding on to each other’s hands
Letting go whenever the picture gets a little less bright
866 · Jan 2015
Lozenge Life
Annie Jan 2015
I was scared, lost
I felt anxious

Happiness betrayed me
And I felt nauseous

I looked into the mirror
Displeasure owned me

I walked out of my home
Demons cloned me

All my life
I was never at ease

I had to take drugs
And little anti-depressant pills

With nobody to share
I felt lonely and unnoticed

Nobody knew my secrets
As I built my anxiety hills

They judged me
Called me someone I never was

I wish,I wished
That they could know my past

And here I am
Its just another night

My heart craves to swallow drugs,
Just so I can finally feel alright
Just what it is.
854 · Sep 2016
A Poem
Annie Sep 2016
I sat down to write a poem today,
I have got too much to write yet nothing to say,

The adrenaline has got my heart beating this fast,
My thoughts speak of something but hands can't do the task,

There was a time when all I needed was a pen to write,
Now I can't pick one thing until my emotions end up in a fight,

You see, there's not one side of my world I want you to see,
There's a lot to give but only if you're willing to creep,

So take your time, maybe today is not the day,
This evening, we can just have some tea and pray,

And when tomorrow comes we'll bring our weapons,
We'll scribble down the words and wait until destruction finally happens
853 · May 2018
Annie May 2018
This is me
All naked in front of you

My scars are the battles
I lost many
But I won a few

What do you see?
When you look through me
Or to you, is it all blue?

I have craved your presence,
Like the sky needs the moon,
But do you have the slighest clue?

I've waited so you would say,
"I got you", for you could stay –
But none of it could ever be true
851 · Dec 2018
Annie Dec 2018
You're just a soul
Without a body
A void, the hole
Inside me

I am unable to give you a form
A structure to the laughter I hear
You're mystical
More than just a smear

You're my intangible creation
Above everything, and all
You'll rise with me, if I fall

Too holy for the rest
Unfathomed, my beloved
Keeping me closest
With requisite gazes
849 · Jul 2018
Bipolar Love
Annie Jul 2018
Why is it that when you say you love me,
Your eyes tell me you don't?

Every time you say all these things you would do,
But you won't

Things keep coming between us,
Sometimes ego, friends or the loan

Why after all this time I've known you,
I feel like I'm stuck in a different zone?

I can't help but loathe the way I feel,
A book on the dusty shelf,

I try so hard for someone to know the real me,
But do I even know myself?

If you care –I know we're strangers
But would you escape this town with me?

We could learn new things –compassion, tenderness,
Hunger for the ultimate, how to be carefree?
844 · Feb 2015
Reality Today
Annie Feb 2015
If it has to be,
Why does it have to be this way?

For even a while,
I can't remember to be happy and gay,

Pistol, rifle, gun,
They are not so, with you can play,

Religion ,faith and belief,
I wish we learn to understand these one day,

When all are one,
All for all ,and none for none,

Why do you have to criticize?
Why do you have to let hate stay?
Learn to embrace others. Just like you want to he embraced. Learn to give love ,just like you want to be loved. Stop hate. Muslims condemn terrorism. Hypocrites don't.
832 · Jul 2015
Quite A Desperation
Annie Jul 2015
I try my best to be better again,
I take all the happy pills I can,
But they keep pulling me down the ladder,
And it only keeps getting sadder,

New place , new people,new time,
They just keep stealing away my smile,
And I've been hurt once more,
"I won't feel this again." though I had swore,

They have the power, they have the chance,
Why do they always look at me with askance?
What do I have, an emotional heart?
I must have played some unnoticeable part,

I am the one who's hurt, writing a poem,
Where should I go to escape ,to roam?
They must have forgotten the way they make me feel,
Now c'mon ,tell me none of this is real,

I write what's inside,this is not just 'scribble',
When I try my best to keep you out of any trouble,
Why do you leave me alone to hurt ,to rot?
Why do you think I am something I'm not?

Hey ,I am not so strong to take this all,
I try to be there for you but you let me fall,
Can't you see the girl behind the face?
You've wrapped my soul in a filthy black lace,

Here I am doubting myself in my bed room,
I am the flower that can now never bloom,
Tonight even these four walls are so quiet,
Thanks for instilling me with this fear and fright
819 · Aug 2014
Annie Aug 2014
That strong woman
Hiding a broken girl inside

She had dreams once
But they fainted away with time

She married a man of means
Who desired her every day and night

So she knew that she was still wanted
Even when demons left her behind
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