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This was maybe only the
Second year in my adult life
I remember being happy
Enough to be affected
Seasonal
Affective
Disorder

Before it was just
Dysthymia
Michael Hole Sep 2019
Six days of drinking,
partial insanity,
I drink ketamine,
and I slip from reality.

My eyes feel like they have sand in them,
my ears, mouth, nose, too.
oh ****...
they do.

Why am I paralysed?
Why can't I move?
I've been rolled up in a banner...
what the **** did I do?

On a beach in Cambodia,
thrown under a stage,
after I fell into a K-hole,
and emerged the next day.

The pain is too much,
I pass out willingly.
Wake up and I'm drowning...
Water is killing me.

I cling to the dive rack,
my strength starts to wane.
I try to scream help me,
Then I blackout again.

Wake up in a rowboat,
cooked by the sun,
Skin crimson and blistered,
what have I done?

My ankle's broken,
no wallet or phone,
I beg for a ride,
please just take me home.

The kind stranger helps me,
brings me to my hotel.
I swallow five ******
and escape from this hell.
Mystic Ink Plus Feb 2019
Nobody
Asked me
What was that?

Was it the effect
of Ketamine
or you?
Genre: Clinical Romantic
Theme: When the balance is lost ||Dissociative world
Daisy Thompson Apr 2018
I’ve been thinking of all the methodical remedies
Blank spaces
What’s left of my memories
Drugs in my head and I swear some are a mystery
I can’t feel my face maybe it’s all the ketamine
Luke Jul 2017
The Earth spins full circle in a Rhombus pattern;
Closed mouths scream at me in the bright bright Dark;
Gravity rises and Saviours loot houses;
Sing Angels Herald the Hark!

Horrified children play happily with Blunt Spoons;
While the Six-Legged vehicles swarm around me;
Cats chasing dogs through Bolted Doors;
It seems the lost have found me.

This March has stolen charms for me with Purple Money;
From wounded ears softly I Cry “Phel! Phel!”
Under soft Moonlight the sun Chuckles Blankly
The Slugs hunt me under their Shells.

Grass grows on my skin whilst I lay on Earth’s scabs;
I try and crawl Backward smashing head-first into Walls;
An Empire has collapsed into Everything today;
Ever Silent the raven Calls

I fall on my stomach and look at the stars;
Circles shift past me revealing their sides;
I know I need poison to mend my no-body
This Desert has too many Tides.

The Earth spins full circle in a Rhombus pattern;
Closed mouths scream at me in the bright bright Dark;
Gravity rises and Saviours loot houses;
Sing Angels Herald the Hark!
aphrodite Jan 2017
i want to be your angel
you bring out the sin in me
i'm stuck in a k-hole when i'm with you
right where i want to be

lines that blur and lines that burn,
dark liquors make your stomach churn,
his tongue has never felt more right,
falling down the k-hole tonight.
cassiopeia miel Jan 2016
god, remember that morning when i said i didn’t have an addictive personality, as your fingers struck a match to light our cigarettes, yours a last (i forgot how many last smokes you had) and mine just for something to occupy my shaking hands and provide my coffee company.

i was a liar, i am an addict, a user, and my obsession is destroying myself. every stroke of a razorblade across my wrist feels like how the gentle kiss of a lover should, every finger-wide line of ketamine like finally coming home from a long trip.

how odd it is to finally receive the love and understand you’ve been withheld your entire life, but immediately upon doing so, all you want to do is run or lash out in ways that make them regret ever thinking you were worth a second of their time; can’t you see i am bitter, twisted, broken?

what am i supposed to do with love? humans are impermanent and i know best with my unstable at best self-image and my propensity to fly the coop at the slightest sign of attachment. i don’t want affection. love doesn’t keep you full, love doesn’t keep you warm, love is unconditional, but so is hatred and she is a better mistress than anything with a heartbeat.
i gotta stop writing monologues
Doll Aug 2015
The answer is i don't know..
Or do i know?

coke
xtc
mdma
tramadol
eph
xanax
cannabis
hasj
speed/amphetamine
2cc
flunitrazepam
codeine
vallium
ritalin
concerta
lsd/acid
bromazepam
lorazepam
2cb
etizolam
4fa
ketamine
2fa/2fma
ghb
mephedrone (meow meow)
methox

And i'm pretty sure my list won't end there.

It's not that i can't stop but i just don't want to feel reality.

— The End —