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Apr 2019 · 258
One Hopeless Endeavor
Unknown Apr 2019
When you think of sleep
Are you still on your feet
Are you thinking of me?
When you close your eyes and begin to dream
Or am I just a memory
Or am I just a memory

Do you find it hard to remember me,
And my barefoot reveries?

You are the spoon in my coffee
I'll spin you around and the world couldn't stop me
Its they who have lost me
I'm often
Caught in a river if coffins
Your presence it buries them all and
The voices they stop
They finally stop

When the whispers have me to my knees
When the shivers penetrate the trees
You carry softness like the breeze
You carry blushes in your cheeks
You carry hearts upon your sleeve
And all is perfect when you speak

You make me weak

And together something else
And for forever on the shelf
We carry on our broken selves

And never ask me
If this feeling's everlasting
Because the beat sounds sad
But the sentiment is happy

All I really wanna do is run away
All I really wanna do is run away
All we really are are books with blank pages
Lets scribble in the lines and find the plot
We are the authors of our fate
And you're my date tonight
And for the ages

This mascato never sweeter did it taste
Then with your face in front of mine

And through the space and
Through the time
I'll hold your hand and
Stand in line

And ride this roller coaster ride
As long as you remain beside

And for the first time
In a long time
I am patient
And I am open
To interpretation
My lady
Apr 2019 · 298
A Fire
Unknown Apr 2019
If the world comes crashing down - devouring itself in a final moment -
I will fall to you
Content to sleep at the fire under your feet
Nov 2018 · 163
Unknown Nov 2018
I get carried away sometimes
To a place I forsake one time
Rembering something alive
I ask myself how could it die?
I say that it's not my fault
I spread em to cover the fault
My veil won't cover the eyes
The drink won't smother the cries
I think of my love as a prize
But really though what is it worth
I really dont covet the hurt
And what does it mean to her?
And what does she think of me now?
And what does she think of me now?

Years to the back
No word back
I gave her my soul and she heard that
I've come to collect the return, stat
Or maybe I'm yearning to turn back
Or maybe I'm burning the whole act
Shake spears till I **** up the whole pact
The poetry can't bring a thing back
I'm over the camping on been-hads
It's what I tell myself when I'm this sad
I'm a shell of myself and
Why would she bother
No mother no father
I grew up alone but I guess I'll go farther
Distance yourself from the trauma
No one around me, that is my armour
I am alone but that is my karma
Apr 2017 · 247
Hearts Anew
Unknown Apr 2017
The distance fed the boredom grew
Our facades, I abhored them too
I crawled upon the floor for you
Not one hand out, I bore you two

Though humble and in pain I kept
Not even but a tear you wept
Though ever since the day you left
Not sounder have I slept...

...see in that heartbreak, there is truth
A heart did break, one heart not two
I brandish mine, untouched and new
For who could love a beast like you?
Feb 2016 · 582
Unknown Feb 2016
Yo, when you get tired of me
Do me the courtesy of not saying good bye to me
Let me pass silently
I can't stop these thoughts they enter violently
And they're dividing me
Two seperate heads of an emotionally idle beast
You'd be surprised to see
How hard a ******* bites their teeth
When they're told to go left and its right they seek
Come on ******* knife your beef
You start some stupid *** **** don't leave it incomplete
You leave the scraps on the table then it's indescreet
You bet your map on a bible cuz you treasure the sheep
And now you pass along the cycle of the ill and the weak
You feeling the heat?
Are you truly willing to bleed?
If our ideals are not the same then who's the sinister seed?
And can you say without a doubt we are the pinnacle breed?
And then to what do we amount if we're such intricate beings?
With such a stigma on our heads we're illegitimate kings
We're so addicted to our skin and yet we're bigoted fiends
We've come so far at the expense of all the primitive things
You drink water from a sink you don't sit down by a spring
Hey you can talk till you're blue and I'll still believe that you're lying
Your idol is the reason that our humanity's dying
Give me one good reason I'd take your word over mine
I'm my own God. I'll turn your ***** water to to wine

I truly care for the meek
Cuz they'll inherit all that's left when leaders bury the peace
It's scary to see
Ground zero is well within your territory
Clown heros are in ya head when you sleep
Poppin pills because the will of the wolf is dead to the sheep
Several prophets stole our hearts when intelligence fell asleep
You tellin me Hell is deep?
Have you heard the devil speak?
I had passport to the underworld when I turned seventeen
I don't need a ******* book to tell my heart what to fear
I don't need a helping hand when all my days turn to years
Freedoms just a plan without the ***** to adhere
Or the knowledge of peers
See how they interact to a tear
You're stuck alone in this world if you try to follow a path
Under the shadow of a book written thousands of years passed
How could you eat the plate they fed you ***** twice and not ask?
Hows it okay to own a slave but its a sin to love a man
How could you take a palm without even checkin the other hand
Keep in mind we're in his image as we plunder your land
Settin thunder to sand
Tearin **** asunder and we dont understand
Now you wonder why we openly mad
Without a reason to believe this world is nothing but sad
And so they offer you a lie so it don't look it don't look half as bad
How long will it last?
Not sure, but the past is the pass.
I'mma live it to the fullest till they bury my ***

© 2016 Temo Larrabee
A little rap I wrote
Email me for a recording I did with the beat.
Feb 2016 · 366
Unknown Feb 2016
I have enough hope left
For perhaps two dear thoughts of closure;
Life and death
When the words get stuck in my throat,
I taste what I choose to keep to myself
One doubt away from a falling sky
On shout away from a thinner waistline
No patience for explanations
The fact that I can stand is tongue in cheek
Still young and weak
Believe me when I tell you
I'm breathing
Oct 2015 · 379
Unknown Oct 2015
Stewing in his cave
Never alone said the bad one
He wept at his life, incomplete
Over a hill in the distance went the sun
Resting headaches on the bloodred horizon

Awaken the bad one
Stop dreaming bad one
Far away
Never alone said the bad one

Caressing the distance with his watery eyes
Peeling the scars with his gritted teeth
Warming the bones
Never alone
Never alone
Said the bad one

Where have they gone?
A flicker behind him
A memory
An unquenchable thirst
Chasing a the end of a dying drumroll

Never alone said the bad one
Jul 2015 · 427
Beauty Blue Eyes
Unknown Jul 2015
The aromatic blend of smiles and clean laundry pervaded my senses as I let her take hold of me
All that, and a glimpse of the ocean

I could never guess how deep her gaze was, as I looked away too quickly, but the striking blue galaxies swirled endlessly and paraded through the souls like a goddess of knowledge

If ever there was flight, this would be my preferred fancy; another flashback reverie of that corner to corner grin that pierced hearts like a saber-toothed javelin, yet lips that would ever so softly provide butterfly sutures, a tourniquet of relief

Never could it be purely aesthetic, as a beauty lacking worth...
...for here was a well of untapped expression and severed emotions, sweet to the taste with an undertone of sadness

I had tasted this before

To hear such words reverberate through the chasms of my vaulted ears brought a touch of closeness, the awe of similarity
There, behind that modest smile was a voice of millions, yet spoken only by the caress of let goes and memories

I could never guess how deep her gaze was, as I looked away too quickly, but life has a strange way of fulfilling the desire to explore mysteries and enigmas alike

Perhaps as a beginning I shall avert my eyes from hindsight to foresight, eluding darkness in the glow of a wondrous, deep blue

Here's hoping she looks back...
Jul 2015 · 674
Unknown Jul 2015
I remember tasting something like spring
Or so it led me to drool and believe
It was more of just a memory, I suppose

They say that memories are a reflection of insecurities

I say, remember

At a time, there was euphoria, and in my ever present curiosity, I dove into this enigma, only to find that the depths of the ocean are unimaginable


I pondered here, for many years, often in retrospect, but never once in the now

For the future was bleak, but the past was pleasure

I taught myself how to swim, in the flow
But I swam in reverse

I remember spring like it was yesterday
Standing bold, silhouetted by the winter

I remember the smile like my own, and the touch like warm water
The brush like a soft orange

And in these memories I am consumed

But here, I am content to dissolve
May 2015 · 361
Awoken by Nothing
Unknown May 2015
But then dreaming, at twilight
Brought to wonder by the full lips
The pulling hips
The fingertips

Tell yourself she is just a girl
Tell yourself she is just a girl

Sleep unshackled and awake to a cell

Tell yourself you will forget her
Convince your crawling skin that she

Is run of the mill plain jane mary generic wash-up
And perhaps you will have
Escaped her reverberating waves of passion

Perhaps you will dream again

Tell yourself you won't

Without reality
Apr 2015 · 1.2k
Unknown Apr 2015
This is the hanging thread
A long string of
Unspoken words
The rope that at one end
Holds down hearts
And at another
Coils around your

Perhaps you weren't awake
During the moonlight hours
Looming reflections of today
Glass to my feet

This is the part
Where I write all the emotions down
And outwardly spew blame
Towards the victim of my insecurities
Whom I see as their


I came home today with
A basket of metaphorical flowers
Chrysanthemums and Roses
All the pretty colors of fake
Yet you saw only the thorns
Of our punctured reality

In bleeding hands is the trust
Heart, soul and mind
As well as
Blood-borne illness

All items are
Brittle, apt to break
Yet I bloodied these fingertips
You did not

You only whisper to me anymore
Still cannot conceal the scent
Of displeasure
Of bile

Here are the musings
I have failed to intone even softly
Under my breath
For you fail to listen
While you are
Apr 2015 · 1.0k
Unknown Apr 2015

Given to birth loneliness

                                                    ­                                                    Space

Lie­s fill gaping mistrusts

Barriers pierced
Walls of flesh sing
R  h  y  t  h  m  i  c



Soul to soul
Alas, not heartfelt
Sinister lurks behind
Veils of deceit

One bond
          Two chances
Three minds
          For what?

The end

Love is
Love is
Beautiful poison

Lust is

Lust is

Oct 2014 · 1.2k
Life to Dust
Unknown Oct 2014
There was this feeling
That the people once called love
They described it as


A storm basked along the horizon
On one particular day
Supernova came
And she told the world to be still


And everything was quiet after that

There was the color red
As heat bled
From open sores in the sky
And mercy
Pulled a knife from it's spine

Those unscathed
Would often shake fists in the air
Heads turned upwards
And open voices to a stranger
For whom they blamed

Not a whisper responded
Nor did despair
Cease to charge

Love no longer had a place
Alas, hatred had eaten her heart
All that is left
Is but a husk
Of an echo
Of a memory
It is nothing

Dual meaning.
Sep 2014 · 788
Let there be Light
Unknown Sep 2014
Woe is me
I, with dry tongue
Angels descend and taketh me
From this monstrous throne of impurity
Thine eyes glitter dimly in the darkness, demon
Mine heart ascends to throat, and tempo is fast changing
Hands reach forth into pools of darkness, drenched in shadows
Beads of sweat march in descent from my brow, into my open eyes

Why stay hidden in the light, pray tell
Darkness doth bid you forward
Sword of past mistakes in hand
To pierce my head with memories
That once before I had escaped


If there is a God

May he once more say

*Let there be light...
Aug 2014 · 385
Once Again
Unknown Aug 2014
Perhaps I cried before I wrote this
Perhaps the tears are fresh upon
My face, flushed with tragedy
This pain is unreal

I have seen
My closest friend
Bring a hand up
Right before my eyes
And swallow her demise
In the form of pills
And yes, I cried

I remember the car crash
That left me unscathed
While four other bodies
Smoldered in wreckage
And I cried

I tumbled through six months
Institutionalized on suicide watch
And my only friend disappeared
And I cried every day

I watched a little boy
Jump from a shoal near the riverbank
And miss his step
He was underwater for fifty six minutes
His name was Elijah
And I cried for him

I heard the gunshot
That took the life of my cousin
And downstairs
Was a horror scene
And I cried

But this...
...this pain
The knee-buckling strike
Of losing the only calm
Ever to see this storm
Leaves me screaming
Head pounding
Eyes closed
And where warmth
Used to lay next to me
Lies but a cold shadow of a memory
One that mocks me for my mistakes

Perhaps I cried while I wrote this

I find myself whispering in the dark:

*I don't want to sleep alone anymore...
Aug 2014 · 803
Unknown Aug 2014
**** that stupid tent.
**** your ******* guitar, and **** my basement. **** the house you used to live in, and **** current residence.
I had given everything, so **** your empty hands offered in apology.
Aug 2014 · 1.4k
Seven Floors Down
Unknown Aug 2014
Memories crumble to dust
Bricks of remembrance
Thrown angrily from the windows of my eyes
Shattering the glass seven floors up

At the bottom
The feet of those on the first floor
Had to walk on shards of regret
A treacherous, ****** movement
And in the end got no where
But back to the stained carpets
Screaming inside the walls
Of a house
Not a home

The second floor
Tenants fell to their knees
Begging for the first floor
To relax
The commotion was just
Too much too handle
Rattling the weakened, buckled walls

The third floor
They were frightened from the up rise of chaos
Got sick to the stomach
And doubled over in pained retrospect
Because they left their windows open
And swallowed air
Instead of pride

The fourth floor
Was broken beyond repair
Cracked right down the middle
Blood seeped from it's fissured walls
Like an arrow wound to the heart
Those inside sprawled in puddles of conflict

The fifth floor
Was out of bandages
For the fourth floor
They used them for mouth covers
So the sixth floor above couldn't smell
The lies on their breath

The sixth floor
Always did hold a nose in the air
But that couldn't hide them from trouble
They were stuffy, and often full
As though the tears that often ran down the bridges
Were more than the emotional pressures
They could carry at once

The seventh floor
Was tired of everything
Constantly red and with teary eyes
They stared down upon the whole scene
Disgusted with the image presented
So they threw the newest memories out
And watched them crumble to dust
Seven floors down
Aug 2014 · 423
Song of Glass
Unknown Aug 2014
I sing
I place within me, these tired hands
to pull notes from my heart and offer them
to those who no longer reach

I cry out with my voice
A whole piece of love
and ten million shattered vocals
that fall to the ground in a glittering display
For I often harmonize
with the hammer of emotion

These beats and bangs in my chest
I contemplate a symphony
Steal the chords from little flying angels
and watch them scowl as I sing in spite
Aug 2014 · 4.1k
Unknown Aug 2014
How I wish to float upon your breast
Soft and placid as a glass lake, windless

But to delve into valleys
Unexplored, keeper of buried treasures
I trek throughout, wandering

Aimless deliverance, unspoken promises
Intricacy of intimate embrace
I weave in my fingers, passion

Spill me, leave kisses like ghosts
Translucent memories
Moist with seduction

Delicious droplets of enticement
Proposing infatuation, falling from your lips
Illustrious little allures

Swim through me
Serpentine twisting contours
Wrap me in flesh, consumption

Stares, to reiterate a longing
Convey this truthfulness
Honeyed words of desire

Think not to deny yourself this moment
Make love to white whispers
Embedded in the mouth of temptation

Take no responsibility
Let movement be freely expressed
Body caressed

Comforting red embers
Of lustful flame
Spin tales of time and tryst

Inhale the sweeter aromas
Entwine with immaculacy
Reciprocate sensuality, a pair

Two with a twist
And many other turns
For my love
Jul 2014 · 2.4k
Watering Love
Unknown Jul 2014
Love has little flowers
Planted on a bed
That sprout from a nurtured heart
They appear in the dark
When breathing is staccato
And the music is slow
They bloom with closed eyes
And tangle like entwined fingers
They wilt with the light
And seeds are dropped into the fabric
Awaiting the next arousal
Jul 2014 · 2.3k
Sex in the Shadows
Unknown Jul 2014
I love this
I get to lay here
In this smoky basement
And be next to your body
Incents burning in the darkness
And the pull out bed is darned with
Peacock blankets and worn green pillows
And your ******* are perk in the light of a cigarette

These rock walls and pillars aren't enough
To trap the both of us
Because within this room, we are invisible
And around you
I am invincible

We stare through the black at each other
Eyes in protest of the caliginous space around us
And we see the warmth of acceptance in the air

I can run these fingers along the smooth landscape of your skin
And my tongue can skim slowly over you with a longing
And my lips can caress yours with a delicious spark of heat
Inciting the shudders throughout your body to take you

These shadows around us can't understand
Because in their two dimensional forms
They will never caress your curves
Or grasp the emotions needed to care about you
So the darkness doesn't bother me

I just need the quick paced breaths from you
The fingers digging into my skin
The lips and the tongues
The dips and the rises
And the realization that this is more
Than *** at my house

Pull your hair away from your eyes to look at me
See the outline of my face
The silhouette eclipsing the moon light from the window
And the sweat on my brow
Shining little droplets of *"I want"
Jul 2014 · 988
Lady Love
Unknown Jul 2014
She wants to be the one
To see me through this mess
She wants to be the one
To move me I digress

She hopes that she can lend
A hand to knees I bend
She hopes that she can lend
A hand I am her friend

She will
She will
She will
She will

She kissed me on the neck
And drew my final breath
She kissed me on the neck
And left in wait of death

She walked away all grins
She took from me my life
She walks away all sins
In my spine rests her knife

She kills
She kills
She kills
She kills

I wait for her caress
Upon these floating dreams
I wait for her caress
I'm sleeping though it seems

She sees me in her head
An image of regret
She sees me in her head
A face she can't forget

She screams
She screams
She screams
She screams

I wait for her in hell
A mindset of my own
I wait for her in hell
She threw her final stone

She looks me in the eye
Before her last goodbye
She looks me in the eye
She seems too satisfied

She wins
She wins
She wins
She wins
Jul 2014 · 456
Unknown Jul 2014
We all die. There is no escaping the simple fact that life, as beautiful and filled with wonders as it is, is meaningless. Earth. A spinning ball of life and light, so free as a vision, yet we suppress these things. Let's build a house that will stand for three hundred years, when I will be here for a fraction of it's existence. Let's build a city around this house, and grow. But for what? You can work so hard for an accomplishment based on personal ideals, but it will be torn down and replaced with someone else's thoughts. We are cattle. To ourselves. We wait in a line of jealousy, pointing red fingers to the pure ones, and the pure ones turn impure. We mill around as if there is a purpose. We create, we sing we write we love we laugh we cry we grow, and we die. A lifetime of, anything, cut down because there is no because. There is no answer. There is no divine entity who overlooks us. There is no afterlife, resurrection, free floating energy, or cells that live on. There is eternal unconsciousness. Nothing. Black, or white or grey, or nothing. And we'll never know. We live in a space so small compared to the rest of everything out there. Past our planet, somewhere in the farthest reaches of the universe(es), there is life, bounding and free, true beings, maybe like us. Maybe they looks similar, and feel the same emotions. Maybe their emotions are different. Maybe their technology surpasses ours. Maybe they are primitive, waiting to learn. Maybe they are us, in the past. The sad, simple fact is that we will never know. We continue to spiral towards our own self afflicted demise, unknowing, selfish. All the wonders of discovery beyond us is lost in the folds of envy and anger. And our own natural timeline. You will die. Your family will die. Everyone you know will die, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to stop this change. We write poetry to staunch a certain emotion, or maybe to bring rise to one that we favor, but this is all nothing. Who cares about how your friend died, or how I broke up with someone, or how cute your cat is, or what boat you sailed on? It's pointless. Words only help to reflect the pointlessness of it all. We give voice to the sheer depression. Life is not a game, or a puzzle, nor is it an answerable question. It is, and always will be nothing in the end. I write to drain myself, to remind myself that I am in fact, a breathing, living human being, for the time. I write for the nostalgia of futility. For the embrace of hopelessness. Why do you write? Tell me, why bother?
Jul 2014 · 460
Lost 10w
Unknown Jul 2014
I shut my eyes for a moment, and you left.
Jul 2014 · 727
Unknown Jul 2014
I catch you like a glimpse of light
Fall to me and through the night
Hold me close I'll hold you tight
Disappear as a ghostly
Jul 2014 · 380
From Me To You
Unknown Jul 2014
It was the good feeling of defeat as he tore down my weak façade. It was scary to feel that... pain. To once more know what is was to be understood.
It was like he...

...broke through her defenses, worked my way through the cracks and fissures that marred the palisade she half erected to guard her emotions. It was easy, like maybe she...

...wanted him to, so finally I could find some form of release. He was my outlet. I plugged in, and my emotions and true feelings shone like a dim fluorescent bulb in a smoky basement. Clouded by uncertainty, but just visible. He is a lot like a...

...brace or a crutch, something solid she can depend on. Someone to confide in, share secrets with. Maybe I can be the one. Help her escape...

...this reality, it's killing me. Maybe he can be the raft that takes me across my sea of denial, landing me safely on the white sandy beaches of acceptance. Sometimes I wonder if...

...she thinks the same thing. It hurts me. I think for once in my life...

...I've fallen in love, but I know that it's...

...hopeless, so hopeless, for we exist in entirely different realms. She...*

Jul 2014 · 665
You Kept Me Warm
Unknown Jul 2014
You loved the day we met
You listened to my words
Smiled at my silly jokes
And held my hand in the dark

You picked me up
And carried me away from it all
You kept me warm
When the rain of my emotions
Gave your mind frostbite

And when it all went to hell
And all the hands I used to reach for
Recoiled in disgust
Yours was there
And you gripped me tightly to your heart

When I gave it all up
And replaced it all with self hatred
You watched as I ate myself
Folded inwards and withered
And you watered the roots of my hope

When I took steel
And pressed it to skin
You saw me fall
Bleeding regret
And you picked me up
And carried me away from it all

You brought me flowers to smell
So the white walls didn't seem as bad
And when I cried
You caught my tears and returned them to me
In a goblet of scarlet

You kept me warm
You picked me up
And carried me away from it all

Where have you gone?
Jul 2014 · 758
Little Things Matter
Unknown Jul 2014
Do you know what it's like?
To be imprisoned
In the past?

I am
Locked up in a cell
Of unforgiving memories
And mental stains I tried to hide
And blood underneath
My fingernails
And I just can't
Scrub it all away
I just want it all to end

This *******,
Nonexistent road of endless
Turmoil and boiling hatred
And emotional leakage
I am so
******* lately
And I just don't give a ****
About the things
I used to give a **** about

Have you ever just
Not cared
Awakened by hostility
And sedated with
"It'll be alright"
No, *******
It won't be alright, okay
Because it's not worth my time of day
To pretend
Like the little things don't matter
Because they do

They really do
More than you can imagine
Jul 2014 · 1.1k
Unknown Jul 2014
You are like
Something along the lines of
Hopeful sips of light
A drink to keep me up
All night, because the dark
Never minded company

Or maybe a line in a song
That goes
"I'll tell you one thing,
It's always better
When we're together"
Because the truths
Are in the music
Of love and life

A bolt of lightning
Across the rainy skies
Of this lonely state
A rebellious ember
Who sits, smoldering
With the heat of held hands
Even when the others have
Gone cold

A free spirit
Who strums out the chords of;
Can this be so?
And the question isn't yours
Because you already played;
Of course
And the smile that crosses my face
Is as genuine as
The words that follow

Just as a prince will battle
For his princess
In far off lands
Dulling his blade on bones
Of lust and envy
I will see you
And know that the most
Difficult valley to traverse
Is worth my time
If when I come to the end
You are there

Once again
I am brought to reality
With another smile
And throughout my head
Run the same words
Over and over and over
A beautiful song on repeat

*I love you
No matter what, no matter where, when...
I will always be here.
Jul 2014 · 882
Unknown Jul 2014
Why do you even stand
When you're with closed eyes and empty hands
Just lay down
Lay down

Where do you fall in line
With a heart of stone and a dead mind
Just turn around
Turn around

What is the price of love
When you feel so down and I'm above
Just let me go
Let me go

What are the words to say
When all my gifts you've thrown away
Just close your eyes
Close your eyes

Don't ask me not to leave
When your every smile is make believe
Just walk away
*I'm walking away
Jul 2014 · 329
Unknown Jul 2014
This is the end
Standing at the edge
But I don't want to lose it all
What if I survive the fall?

It's raining
God is gaining
On my heels
But is he even real?

It's hard to sit back
And let my mind wander
Relax and ponder

The light is never there
The light was never there

And I'm scared

What if I was wrong
What if this was a lie all along
What if somewhere far away
There's a place for me
A place to stay?

Will I be judged by my decisions
Or by the way I'm currently living
Is this a game to sky above?
Who the **** am I supposed to love?

I can't breath in this prison of me
I don't believe in the things I can't see
Does that make me weak?
If I pray, will he speak?

I can't stay in this prison of me
If I believe will he set me free?
This is my final eulogy
If I die, what will I be?
Jul 2014 · 963
Fingerpaint Happiness
Unknown Jul 2014
Just take it easy
Let your heart beat freely
Slow down
Breathe deeply
And dance the sounds
Of peace

Forge a gentleness
Over the stress
Callused onto your mind
Run your fingers through your hair
And smile as you stare
Into the eyes of ecstasy

Cast a shadow over your
And let euphoria caress
Your weary soul

Embrace the music
Of joyful energy
And soak in the layers
Of awe

Happiness comes
In the color you choose
And the world
Is your pallet
Jul 2014 · 1.3k
Unknown Jul 2014
Raised to say what I mean and mean what I say
So I assumed everyone else was the same way

I was wrong

People are liars and cheaters and thieves
Trust no one but you because all the rest leave

You're alone

But while I think, loneliness is my own company
Even the one voice I listened to has gone silent
I only hear my voice and now truly alone, I
Wish to let one, in at a time to trust hard, but
being alone isn't that easy
Get back to me...
Jul 2014 · 1.1k
Lucky No. 13
Unknown Jul 2014
Age eighteen, living life as a low-middle class suburban jobless fool with a confusing relationship and a five year old boy. I have nerve damage to my left arm, smokers cough and lesser (haha) alcoholism.     I guess it's macaroni (not Kraft, way too expensive) and cheese (nothing fancy) tonight. I should apply for a new job tomorrow, but I'll probably have something else to do. Besides that, I have no clothes suitable for an interview anyway. My hair is a wild mess. From behind you might think, "****, she doesn't have an ***..."
...but from straight on, you might think, "****, he looks like Slash."
I do not look like Slash, by the way. At least I think not. Maybe with the right hat, but then, I am way too short. I can sing like Slash, though.
I learned to use my voice like, five years ago. How old was I...?
I can read like Joseph Ogle. I love reading. I must have been younger when I started reading good material. Must have been a good few years ago...
I can draw like Dali. I think I found him out in Middle School...
I can play piano like ******* Mozart. I picked up piano earlier...
I can write like...
...well, writing is so unique that comparing myslef to anyone is insulting to both.  
Anyway, it's my raw talent, skills that I have owned and honed that drives me to be more.
They say you have to deal with the hand life gave you, but life decided to give me dice, and a couple chance rolls. I may still have a few left. For as long as I live, I will deny and refute the notion that once you lose everything, you should just give up. I have lost. You can talk to me all day about how sad your life is, and how depressed you are, but unless you do something to change your quality of existence, then you're going to roll snake eyes. Snakes bite, friend.
I got a lucky thirteen on my plate. I am content to keep, but I could keep going.
What do you have?
Keep going keep going keep going keep going just keep going and don't stop never stop never ever stop move move move move and when you can't move anymore move some more.
Jul 2014 · 777
Little White Pills
Unknown Jul 2014
I wanted her to live. I wanted to escape reality with her. To go somewhere peaceful. To find solace outside of the usual myriad of sounds and sights.
I wanted to take those little pills and find freedom like I always did, and so did she. So did she. So did she.
But there is no freedom, only a lack of personal imprisonment. It is ironic that our vision of "freedom" was enough to **** us. Poison. Pills. Little white pills. And a bottle of liquor to wash them down. To drown them.
So together we "escaped" reality's "prison" into the vast expanses of our hallucinations.
One more. Last one. Promise. **** that doubt and replace it with a little white pill.
Take a swig. Take a gulp. Take another. Let's make this crazy.
One more pill. Last one. I swear. Laugh with me. Drink with me.
Laugh with me.
Hey, hey, it will be fine, we're done. We're done. We're done so just relax. Float and fly, feel that high. Lay down and rest.
We should have stopped earlier.
We should have stopped earlier.
You know, we should have stopped earlier.
I am sorry. My bad.

So later comes and goes. She sits on the porch, smoking a cigarette. Smiles, all smiles. She is high, but she operates well.
I light a cigarette of my own.
I breathe in the smoke, let it coat my lungs. Watch it disappear as I exhale. She says something funny, and I laugh. She laughs, I laugh. It's hilarious.
She lives.
She lives.
She lives.
Unfortunately, that is a false reality. I give you the fake version to staunch the bleeding of insecurities and emotional detriment.
You see, I have mislead you. Fake. Fake. So fake, and how I wish it were not.
She never smoked that last cigarette. I guess to her, life was unimportant. Worthless. She was not seeking attention this time. She intentionally overdosed. She convulsed and died in front of me. I watched her swallow white after white and I didn't stop her. Her small framed body of innocence turned into an animal. Neglected, starved of love.
She is dead.
She is dead.
She is dead.
She will never exist beyond my memories. Beyond my dreams. Beyond her phantom visits to my vision. I am being followed. Stalked. Haunted. Chased. Hunted for a guilt trip.
Later, it's blade to flesh. Bottle to lips. Bleeding, regretting, wishing, screaming.
Anger, self pity, despair, depression, descent.
Cornered, frightened, spiraling into madness.
Welcome. It is with great pleasure that I invite you into my life.
Stupid decisions lead to stupid mistakes. Never take your eyes off of a life lined in sorrow. Be a shoulder to lean on. Be an ear to speak to. Be a smile to smile back at. Be the soul that connects love to life. Be genuine. Don't look away from signs on the road of life, or you might find the wreck that put them there.
Jul 2014 · 1.0k
You Know Me?
Unknown Jul 2014
You can say you know me
Every little idiosyncrasy, habit and ritual
That you see me do

You can say you know me
Based on the demographic
Of the people I am with

You can say you know me
Because you have watched me cry
And heard me yell in anger

You can say you know me
Because you gave birth to me
Because you created my existence

But until you can say
"I held you rocked you fed you,
sang to you hugged you loved you"

Then you will never know me
But I know you, mother...
Jul 2014 · 4.3k
Unknown Jul 2014
Say, what drives a narcissist to feed on their soul
Their own being, their whole, a cannibalistic role
I fold, into the answers that have never been told
Because I disagree that life is less than silver or gold

When I was young I was 'old', wiser than age would suggest
I never looked from a problem I never strayed from a test
I sought to better my self, pushing others away
Rising alone but never understanding how I would pay

Now look today and see a fate that I crafted off a clean slate
Into a plate of half consumed variables that I never ate
Or even paid any attention effectively painting dissention
And not to mention my descent into a mental detention

I locked my self in a prison of a dozen complications
A box full of games, puzzles and some mindless sedation
No relation to pain, bottomless gain and no patience
I snap at every ******* body for the beast I am facing

Imagine that you have a paper with some scribbles and lines
Now try erasing the marks so the paper's perfect - just try
It's impossible because you pretend to leave the past
There's always something there to make a scar that will last

So now because of my choices I sit alone with these voices
Saying "you could do better", to me they're nothing but noises
So now I write my emotions so that the world might just hold 'em
Just ignoring commotion 'cause you can pass 'em or smoke 'em
Jun 2014 · 1.4k
Forward Ideology
Unknown Jun 2014
Perfect is worthless seen through the eyes of a serpent
A word I'm sure is uncertain, spoken from any one person
I've come to realize earth is a curve of choking emotions
Seventy one percent ocean but see, the fire is the potion
We keep a flame in our hearts just to keep away the commotion
Forsworn and broken, stuck to a preconceived notion
We heat the coldest of parts but we don't foresee the explosion
We've chosen hate over love and we let our minds remain frozen
We're hopeless roamers and loners subject to being torn open
We stumble through the black, hands splayed blindly groping
For some sort of hope although we're lost in the ***** mess
Of pretending to be alive, free and full of alertness
Too often we keep our hearts rib-caged and vested
Let nothing come between our minds and this message
A vestige of optimism found underneath a veil of depression
But being hopeful for a future is a subtle transgression
To the laws of the present where we learn only one lesson
"Sever the bonds between eyesight and connection"
Dissecting human nature and replacing it with technology
Follow me I'll show you our true psychology
We seek a light in a cave but digging used archaeology
We advance not through screens, but 'forward ideology'
We accept a flawed system and in return are plagued harshly
By the 'gods' of the world because 'goods' are placed sparsely
Mark my words, the hand of time is our only true opponent
We believe the hand of 'him' to be the earths advancing component
So we fake smiles and play this game but we don't own it
We just bought it of the market that we created unknowing
Listen because I am showing independence in words
Not trying to preach, I just want you to learn
Free verse. I just let the words type themselves.
Jun 2014 · 1.1k
Unknown Jun 2014
I have failed again
Doomed to live out my existence
In a shell of betrayal and self afflicted heartbreak
Knowing that I wasn't enough for you
Knowing that, despite my problems
Somewhere, two souls meet in infinite embrace
And the sword of jealousy pierces my knotted guts

Every time I hear your name my body shakes
This pain is no longer emotional
It strikes my core and shatters all I have built
My knees weaken and my chest tightens
My head hurts and my tears flow without asking
It happens randomly throughout the day
My collapses are uncontrollable

Stupid things remind me of you
Like bikes, and guitars, and cigarettes
And Law and Order and Friends and Eric Clapton
And pipes and aches and organic food
And kisses and touches and holding you
Mostly holding you with the reassurance of your voice
Saying I will never lose you

And I didn't
Jun 2014 · 786
My Last Words
Unknown Jun 2014
No longer
No further
No wonder

I have lit the candle
Hoping for the warmth
Of trusting you
But I ****** around
And the flame died
So I got stranded

My blood is green with envy
My teeth chatter with anger
Foolish lies that tear me apart

Passionate harmony
Turned to
Emotional dissonance

But is the battle
Truly within me
Because all I see
Is your mistake

I waded in the river of hope
Waiting for you
Got my feet wet
But the cold touch of hindsight
Slithered across my toes
And I jumped out
Afraid of something new
Jun 2014 · 1.5k
I Pity You
Unknown Jun 2014
Yeah, the fool who accepts blindness
It's tricky wandering through the darkness
With bare feet

That **** will get you hurt
You might bleed

But don't confide in me
I'm done being an outlet for you
And you, and you too

Do things on your own
You need independence
Not help

Oh yeah
Bandages are behind the mirror
Jun 2014 · 614
Unknown Jun 2014
Should I stop talking
In fear of being judged wrong?

Why should I surround myself
With other people
And adapt?

And why should I be
A mediator for any
Decisions being made?

Can't you all just
Stop paying attention to me
When I walk into a room?
I am not golden

I am not golden

Why does it take me
To bring people together
Who without me,
Would never look at each other?

I am not special

Am I broken, or something?
I am tired of being...
...what, noticed?

I think I am

At least in person

So I'll just write to you

So you can truly get to know me

Through my words

Not voice
Jun 2014 · 944
Unknown Jun 2014
Pull me in
Envelope me
In your scarlet embrace
Let me show you unmitigated love
Let me be your true experience of deep passion
Jun 2014 · 3.6k
A Wanderer
Unknown Jun 2014
He reaches out
Old hands
Worn down by treks of knowledge
Across the body of earth

He gazes out
Open eyes
Made bright by staring upon
Beauty far and wide

He speaks out
Soft voice
Made gentle by telling stories
Of wondrous adventure
Jun 2014 · 2.5k
Genreration Insurrection
Unknown Jun 2014
Why attempt to claim the moral high ground
When your pathetic argument holds no sway
Why march to war with the rebel bound
In the uncommon disposition of yesterday
Why hold pretentious personality
When acceptance is based on adaptation
A pyramid scheme brings fatality
To your pseudo-martyr nation
Unwarranted non cooperation
With the voices of the future
Speak without brainwashed sedation
And unravel your poisoned sutures
Your self proclaimed image of authority
Is unwanted within the confines of freedom
You back a mentality of all encompassing conformities
When the generation of today can't see them
Your hubris lacks the willingness to act
Yet you call yourself Ole-Times-Hardened
And the simple depressing fact
Is that your ignorance cannot be pardoned
Leave while you hold a handful of passion
Before it is lost in the folds of time
Because dignity with age is not everlasting
You are but another one track mind
Whether or not you care to move forward
The world turns on an invisible axis
There is always a new world order
And living life requires emotional taxes
So be willing to express and voice opinions wholly
But like many lost souls before you say
Wander unknown territories carefully
Because the past is lost with today
(Ignorance of Ages)
Jun 2014 · 471
Heart: A Haiku
Unknown Jun 2014
Tempo of descent
Smothered by abandonment
Bleeding is in vein
Jun 2014 · 692
Past Life of a Future Poet
Unknown Jun 2014
He the boy
A ******* slave
He the boy
No one can save
Title this: "Experience"
And place it in his grave

He the boy
The hand denied
He the boy
The terrified
Leave him to his shattered mind
His sanity has died

He the boy
Who lived and fought
He the boy
Who always thought
Words would mend his broken heart
For only love he sought
Jun 2014 · 700
Beneath the Willow Tree
Unknown Jun 2014
Beneath the Willow Tree
Below the canopy of leaves
She sits in silence
The embodiment of Nature
In all her perfection

Blades of grass dance
Free from worry
Within the shadow of her protection

Branches of new beginnings
Beckoned skyward with the crook of her finger
Like so many bodies
Searching for the touch of life

Petals wander carelessly
Upon the whispers of the gentle wind
Beauty finds hope in the blue sky
And the golden rays of warmth
Light a smile on her face

Beneath the Willow Tree
I melt into the soil
Open and release my soul
Under her watchful gaze
Feeding on the wonders
Found only in her kiss

Her gentle embrace coerces eyes to open
Hands to splay over the small of her back
And tongues to seek hidden pleasure
In the fruits of her ambition

Eternal bliss is found here
In the endless ocean of knowledge
The outside

Nature is the purest of hearts
That holds a place for all
Jun 2014 · 368
Windows to Me
Unknown Jun 2014
Can you see my eyes
The color of weakness
And the innocent victim that drowned
In the oceans of their insecurity

Can you catch a glimpse
Into my soul
Or do I look away
Too quickly

Can you peer into
The hollow chasms
And the winding caverns
Of my emotions

Tell me what you see
Jun 2014 · 443
Unknown Jun 2014
Good 'buy' to you
My fellow man
But the consumer
Never dies
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