I am an aura
Ethereal hum
I am the stars
The beat of the drum
I am the wind
Freedoms embrace
I am the grin
A withered face
I am the field
Sky and sand
I am a shield
Protectors hand
I am the wing
Harboring warmth
Sounds of the sing
Bringing love forth
I am the moon
Eerie the beam
I am the soon
Later and maybe
I am the night
Absent of sun
I am the light
Two souls of one
See me?

I have seen a dreaming mind
I have seen the seams unbind
I have been more than behind
I have sought but will I find?

While you laughed I'd sit and cry
Sun comes up, I sleep, you rise
You talk of life, I think demise
Your eyes widen, I'm not surprised

Defined as socially impaired
'Cause while you prayed I sat and stared
And while you gave I never shared
And when you loved I didn't care

And maybe it's my fault

That I cannot move away

But it's all in vain

When you are trying your hardest

To bring me down






Get out of my head

His mother's dumb face
His father's cold drinks
It's all fun and games
'Till the happiness sinks

He'll walk straight inside
Not announcing his presence
Stare fear in the eye
And inhale killer's essence

Walk up to his room
And open his door
Foreshadowing doom
That box on the floor

Within it? The metal
He stole it for fun
The steel 'shakes his settle'
In the form of a gun

He tugs on the hammer
And pulls back the slide
Waits 'till the clamor
Of anxiety subsides

Remembers the beatings
His father would lay
Remembers the feeding
Of lies in the hay

He waltzes down stairs
With the gun in both hands
At the very last step
He nervously stands

He won't just say 'blam'
And pull back the trigger
His thoughts make a plan
A process much bigger

Confronting them both
At the small kitchen table
He didn't once choke
When he said "I am able"

He pointed the gun
But his resolve soon shattered
And in shame, shot himself
Saying first "It won't matter!"

His plan had recoiled
But his mission still stood
As the bullet hit oil
And caught fire to the wood

And the flames licked and climbed
And the roof burned and caved
And the family died
In the fiery blaze

And the town down the road
Never did realize
The church choir sings odes
And a young lady cries

But never word flew
Of the evil within
'Till the killers mind slew
Just a boy and his kin

So when does it end
All the immobility
The lethargy
The sleep?

When do we
Wake up
And smell the balance?

When do we look
To light for peace
Instead of the darkness
Of closed eyes?

When will the
Sounds of silence
Be less comforting
Than the sounds
Of consciousness?

We have all been
Fooled into modesty
By commercializing beauty
And eternalizing life

We forget that
We only have
A limited time here

And those who understand
Yet remain in
A stasis

A dreaming mind

Here he hoped
Only to illustrate
The bone chilling
Silence
With his detached, deflated
Account of life

Fingers and nails
Bloodied from
His public outcry
So fierce
But reform never
Followed

The clamor that rang
In his hears
Was in response
To the chemical covered
Words spoken to him

He is propelled to act
For attention
To curb his sickening
Self inflicted abuse

And his affliction
Leaves sores that
Could put him out
Of life in this world

Fingers eaten by anxiety
One by one
Because the knives no longer
Relieve him

Criss-crossed with cuts
Knuckles swollen
And these days
You can scarcely find
A smile anymore

His eyes
Turn away the most
Powerful men
Like he has
A special disease

His arms
With their maze of cuts
Have a time limit
Before they paint
The path before him
In acid

Each wound represents
A chance for a new
Beginning
Or an end

He just gave in
And forgot himself
Lost himself
Down in the damp, foggy
Recesses of his mind
And lifted the dead
Happiness
And threw it out

He the "Architect of pain"
Built within his mind
The killing room

So you walk

Always the silent
A simple stray
Always the violence
Eyesight is grey

Long trepid treks
Sore necks
And an empty stomach

Strange, familiar sounds

But there is something

Deep inside

Where there was warmth
And fullness

And the memories echo
Here and there
Somewhere
Maybe in a dream

But still
The illness
And the constant will
To move

As if there is
Hope

As if something cares

So you walk
Searching

Searching

Evade the bait
A sickness no doubt
Laying in wait
Don't know what it's about...?

Complain to the "Great" ?
Pay praise to the fake
Pray sayings in "his" grace

Play hymns at his feet
Listen when "he speaks"
Be coy and be meek
Tell me, what do you seek?

Tell me, what did "he" make
Other than hate
And it's wasted
On space in our minds
For the non-straight

This name you create
For an image of a place
With white marble gates

That doesn't exist on this plane

And it drives all insane

We make faces at fate
And laugh at destiny
A testimony that states
"Of the different, we're afraid"

So let's keep it normal
Let's keep it formal
Pretty white lace
And the white matching face

With a smile
That betrays the look in the eye
And that resents the knowledge
That nothing's alright

That something's awry

This "man"

He may or may not
Be deity true
My opinion is shot
And maybe it's you

That I target this time
With my question so strong
"This man in the sky...
...is he wright, is he wrong?"

No substantial proof
Ever points me to clues
But I have no idea
I don't walk in your shoes

So let's be real
Whether reality is heavenly
Or earthly

I don't really feel
Like it's too big a deal
I just hope that you heard me

And my message is this
Whether or not he exists
There's no reason for fits

It led us to fists
And eventually war
First fought with sticks
Then swords in the storm

And it's gotten much worse
And the hate festers still
And the void that we know
A "god" tries to fill

But let's be honest
The belief spread fast
And so did the plague
And so did the deaths
Of the wars in the past

So this brings me back
To the question at hand
"Will it last?"

Drinking it as the sun goes down
And as the moon comes up
I dare sleep to attack me
But if he misses his shot...

This affliction that I feel
This pain is so unreal
In front of you I kneel
My skin begins to peel

With every breath I steal
Another death I reel
From behind a broken shield
The only voice I yield

A silent understanding
My love to you I'm handing
It's my heart your eyes are branding
I brace for heavy landing

Breaths are taken
Faith is shaken
Words mistaken
Sight forsaken

Silent screaming
Ears are bleeding
Tears are streaming
Heart stopped beating

Soul beneath you
Hands stretched skyward
I beseech you
Please hear my word

Now
I'm calling out again
Reaching for a friend
Beginnings have an end
Calling out again

Time slowly spent
Another twist and bend
Calling out again
Calling out again

Lift me from this hell
Body is a shell
Standing where you fell
So much I could tell

Wish that you could know
Heart became a stone
Wish that I could show
Standing here alone

From your broken voice
Just another word
Do you have a choice
Speak and you are heard

Show me that you care
Lay my mind to rest
Lonely, naked, bare
Raise my fallen crest

Calling out again
Calling out again
Reaching for a friend
Calling out again

The Void
Devoid
Of all we can avoid
Leaving us
Destroyed

A Storm
The form
Of all that's not of the norm
Leaving
Uninformed

This strife
A knife
Depriving us of our life
Anger
Is so
Rife

Today I saw an eagle
Fly over my head
It's beauty was most regal
As white wings it spread

I noted it's appearance
As it shadowed my face
My eyes they sought adherence
In the laws of it's grace

My spirits were most high
As the creature left sight
With a soft and sated sigh
I turned quick from it's might

We all need
Something to fall back on
But when there's nothing
When braces are gone
We turn to
Vile pursuits of
Satisfaction
And forget to care
Or even think about
What means the most
What we hold
Dear

We all wish
For that stellar touch
Of pure ecstasy
In it's most
Flavorful form
That crutch that caresses
Our system of thought
Into a righteous
Equilibrium

We all seek enlightenment
In all different ways
Whether morality stands
As a mediator
Or as the defining factor
Of our
Choices

We all argue
Over dead points
And never do we
Put into perspective
The other side
Because of our
Biased
Preconceived
Notions

We all believe
That a miracle
Will lift all afflictions
And bend hope into
A peaceful weapon
But the answer
Is hidden beyond
Our blind eyes
Because we are all afraid
Of change
And we refuse to see
Beyond
The black hole
Of our closed minds
That have created
Event
Horizon

Singing simple subtle silence
Vibrant vain vindictive violence
Worried withered wanting waiting
Hurried hither haunting hating
Picture perfect painted pouring
Body bedded blatant boring
Couples cadence carpet carried
Vivid violet voices varied
Naming noises nothing noted
Blaming boiling brooding bloated
Hurried hither haunting hating
Worried withered wanting waiting

The end of hope I never sought
Beginnings of a darker thought
Twisting guts into a knot
It never mattered if I fought

Demon hands with withered claw
Altered lands, discarded law
Plagued by just another flaw
Cutting skin like axe and saw

Wrapped in deaths black flowing coat
Burning anything of note
Keeps insanity afloat
Words so chilling always wrote

I will not perish
Until I have found answers
In these cryptic messages
Vivid haunting images
That plague me in my dreams

Esoteric symbols float in the periphery
Of my visions
Nails on glass
In my ears

Silent screams echo throughout my head
Bouncing off its degrading walls
Weakening them even more

Decaying words at the back of my throat
Choked down by indecision
And swallowed along
With my bitter dignity

My blood is black
Flowing through veins like branches
Of a hollow tree

My eyes are shallow craters
Of an early collision of images

My ears are polished mirrors
That reflect the damage done to them
With no filter

My lips are cracked
As a dry river that no longer
Harbors the kiss of life
Along its sides

My hands are the forgotten tools
Of an old carpenter
Who no longer pursues
Any form of laborious toil

But my feet
My feet are like
An industrial machine
That use any form of misery
As fuel to keep the whole body
In a state of forward movement

So I will not perish
Until I am happy
Because once there is no misery

My feet will run out of fuel
The rusted cogs will stop turning
The chains will overlap and break
The electrical current will
Cease it's playful energy

And when I am finally happy
I rest
Finally

Sight has been stolen
We're robbed of our sounds
your pride has been swollen
We're lobbed out of bounds

Minds are abysmal
Burned in the flame
Of all that is dismal
Weakened or lame

Expecting a truth
But receiving a lie
Feeling so used
In dark ropes we're tied

Bound by a pact
Long ago we had made
Drowned in an act
That our families forbade

But once it was done
There was no turning back
A bright shining "sun"
Was the strength in my back

Feeling betrayed
Our life so delayed
Working unpaid
Happiness fades

Always we gave
Something away
Grace was not saved
Robbed of our grave

Naomi, with eyes like an angry ocean.
Naomi of dark brown hair and paper white teeth.
Naomi, whose name her father says in vain,
is a girl who has many friends, runs along
with a broken sense of direction and a fake smile.
Lives in a rich padlocked, inherited excuse for a home, with less life than a cemetery, alone.
Wearing fancy shoes, combs her hair with a jeweled brush, and eats a tasteless breakfast, surrounded by the silence of the void,
and alcohol fueled ignorance.

Sitting here on the rough rooftop
Shingles overgrown with moss
Knees pulled to my chest
Inhaling the sweet toxins
Of a cigarette
Pressed between withered fingers
That feel the need
To hold onto something
As if it were everything

Wind runs through my hair
And my eyes stare longingly at the stars
And they stare back

My ears pull in the sounds around me
The whispering winds
The silent moonlight playing
A simple tune
In stark contrast
With the dark symphony in my head

So I try to synchronize with the
Beautiful orb
As it's song
Progresses to a module tone
Of a more complex melody

Tonight I want love
The gentlest heat
To lift me above
Off of my feet

Tonight erase fears
A fingertip note
To weaken these tears
That tighten my throat

A flutter of wings
Silence with a friend
The prettier things
A night without end

Kav's arrow struck clear and true
The Legend Jedediah fell
Spurting blood a scarlet hue
Knowing this would not end well

Kav ran to the Legend's side
Stared at him with bright blue eyes
Watching as the Legend died
Tears of blood the young boy cries

News of Jedediah's death
Causing city final rest
Reached the eager ears of Beth
Kav would be named Legend's Best

Upon return the young man carried
The body of the Legend Jed
Face was red, the boy was weary
Knowing his worst foe lay dead

Beth approached the boy on steed
To see the face of Forsaken One
Squirming with a thwarted need
She turned to Kav, said "Thank you son"

Standing over Legends face
She couldn't stifle out her cries
Her husband lay in burlap lace
Her husband lay in his demise

Closing shut his bright blue eyes
Withered hands and jeweled shield
Simple silent sordid sighs
Death of love this day did yield

Bright blue eyes and withered hands
Jedediah took his swing
Steel cut sword with ****** bands
Steel on steel again it rings

Solotris was not new to dance
The dance of battle he knew well
Caught in swordplay's gripping trance
Silent, he ****** Jed to hell

Fast they moved without a thought
Wordless plays ran through their head
Remembering what they'd been taught
Though Solotris would soon lay dead

Jedediah could not lose
Not before he knew the truth
Doomed to either sword or noose
He just wanted to know who

Who his star-crossed lover was
He'd fought through all of hell to find
He never had the chance because
He left his loving past behind

Spirits low and bounty high
He slaughtered might Solotris

But withered hands let arrow fly
The arrow, it had found it's niche

Jed charged forth with a mighty roar
Karadain was first to fight
Thunder ripped and skies they tore
The clash of swords was an awesome sight

Karadain, he moved with grace
Jedediah stood his ground
Every slash and ****** a waste
Parried with a ringing sound

Jed's claymore soon made it's mark
Silence played a simple song
He ****** it through Karadain's heart
To take a life was never wrong

Solotris bowed his head in shame
Friend or not he didn't care
Life was gone as soon it came
It seemed the fight was hardly fair

Drawing faith in many spades
Solotris began to march
Courage was what courage made
He raised his sword in a deadly arch

Solotris was a working man
Strength portrayed through muscled arm
Of battle he was not a fan
At home his children worked his farm

Karadain a gentle soul
Hadn't fought for quite a while
So long in fact his skills were dull
But the bounty price gave him a smile

Kav was a boy of many traits
A foreigner from war torn lands
Skilled with bow, always shot straight
Bright blue eyes and withered hands

Beth, the queen of sky and soil
She mourned the loss of lover dead
Her kingdom sat in dark turmoil
She wished for Jedediah's head

The Forsaken One, Jedediah
Drew his sword, his jeweled shield
long ago labeled pariah
He stepped onto the battlefield

Solotris, Kav, and Karadain
Ordered by the Lady Beth
Knew their mission was in vain
All to receive early death

Jedediah ****** his sword
Into the dirt beneath his feet
Adjusting voice he found a chord
And hummed so melancholy sweet

Reaching 'neath his armored plate
His withered hand withdrew a note
Words he scribbled for his mate
Words she'd never know he wrote

Demons haunt me from my past
Clawing me from inside out
They wish to bare their teeth at last
These monsters I can't live without

I wore a veil of strong denial
Tried to lay these beasts to rest
To keep them down was just a trial
It seems I haven't passed the test

I've grown to weak, let down my guard
Why is it so hard you ask?
I'm drink and weary, falling hard
Depression comes in a Golden Flask

She tried not to move
As they found their pleasure
Her being so mute
Was a cautious measure

They took their sweet time
As they pressed their advance
They soured her mind
With their bitter "romance"

The violent utensils
A finger, a knife
Her mind was the stencil
That drew out her strife

The notion of fears
Like an oncoming tide
She tried to stop tears
But they wouldn't subside

Her "sisters" so sordid
Left her ****** and bruised
She lay feeling morbid,
Scared and abused

Reflecting the voice
Of indecision
A hostile embrace
The eyes of remission

The fleeing tears
The candid frown
Open ears
Nary a sound

More and more
The skin it cracks
Blisters, sores
A defensive act

Look ahead
There's nothing there
A faceless map
Of silent stares

Look ahead
Pretend to care
The mirror's dead
Was never there

You have stolen my eyes
And my tongue is twisted in awe
I am a servant, you my master
You have me imprisoned in your misleading embrace
Enraptured by your presence

Silently, subtly, sipping your poison

And I cannot turn from the goblet

Results have come back, in good news they lack
Paper held in trembling hands
She hasn't a clue, as to what she should do
Tears forming watery bands

The child wonders on, where her moms hair has gone
She accepts 'cause she isn't the wiser
The mom dries her tears, and puts aside fears
The results? Well they didn't surprise her

Her form ever frail, her soft skin is pale
Her sanity nearing derailment
Her child is fair, with wind in her hair
But the mother's the one with the ailment

She pushes the swing, her daughter she brings
Gentle movements like a dancer
Soon to be dead, hood over her head
Mother has terminal cancer

Were my tears made of money
Would they catch your eye then?
Were my words made of silk
Would you listen to them?

If I took to the air
Would you notice my wings?
If I offered my voice
Would you wish that I sing?

If I lent you my hand
Would you notice the scars?
If I shone ever bright
Would you call me a star?

If I fell to the ground
Would you help me to stand?
If I told you I cared
Would you then understand?

A four year old child
And growing so fast
Conceived from a wild
Relationship past

His mother a girl
Of only sixteen
Placed into this world
By alcohols dream

A man is his father
Of around thirty three
The girl? The mans daughter
They share the same genes

Conception absurd
Illegally bound
A four letter word
A bitter sound

When it all comes down to anger
You can no longer hide your pain
When your voice is like a stranger
And it's driving you insane
When your happiness is thinning
Getting thinner every day
And your nightmares haunt your vision
Even when you are awake
When you've searched your mind for answers
But only see what you've been through
This depression is a cancer
And there's one thing you can do

(CHORUS)
Just lay down
Unleash those tears
Just lay down
Release those fears
Look back
At all those years
Lay back
The end is near

(VERSE TWO)
Never question if you're worth it
Never ask if you belong
Never wonder if your perfect
Never mattered all along
For every light there is a shadow
There's a crack in every wall
There's a **** in every meadow
There's no need to hold it all
Free your mind of all it's demons
It will help you in the end
We all wrote this for a reason
It's a lesson from a friend

(NEW CHORUS)
Smile now
From ear to ear
Try now
To reappear
It's fine now
The end is here
Just lay down
Your dreams are clear

Hey dream weaver
Can you weave me a dream?
Can you make me a believer?
Can you sew these torn seams?

Can you replace my mind?
Make softer my bed?
Leave nightmares behind?
Shed light in my head?

Can you take me from here
Place me in a new world
Where the leaves of my fear
Stay withered and curled?

Where the winds of oppression
Are lost in the skies
And I sleep never guessing
As I shut tight my eyes

Always she shivered
Against induced winds
Always so bitter
Always so thin

Her hobby; a sliver
It stuck in her skin
But once it delivered
She let her head spin

She poisoned her grace
With the oceans of shame
Unwilling to face
The girl she became

She filled empty space
Was no longer sane
The road that she paced
Became her own bane

Her name was October
She had hazel eyes
Her expression was sober
But was it disguise?

Over and over
She took to the skies
Her habits controlled her
Led her to demise

Lust to the brink of insanity
Paying no heed to your vanity
A drink to the lips
A swing of the hips
Waiting is just a calamity

Fingertips warming your skin
Exciting those feelings within
Lay back on the bed
Let desires be fed
Is your head yet beginning to spin?

I'm a genuine poet
Some flaws here and there
To my parents I owe it
How I wish they could care

There is pain and I show it
Hide it I wouldn't dare
It will **** me I know it
It is lurking somewhere

Inner light I must grow it
I will embrace the glare
I am no longer stoic
I am no longer scared

Wake up, because your dreams are only temporary
Sleep, because in your mind is a sanctuary
Lay down, because in your passiveness burns a fire
Stand up, because there will be a spark of confidence
Quiet, because in your silence plays a symphony
Sing, because music is life
Whisper, because someone is listening
Shout, because some cannot hear
Reach, because something lies just beyond
Retreat, because patience rewards you
Climb, because you never know what is at the top
Fall, because someone will catch you
Embrace, because there is always something to hold on to
Let go, because there is always more
Understand, because knowledge is power
Ask, because it is better to know
Listen, because you crave enlightenment
Speak, because wisdom is meant to be shared
Trust, because many accomplishments come with help
Never trust, because even your shadow leaves you in the darkness

The farmer and his hands
His family and his crops
Tending to his lands
'Neath gentle water drops
Bereft of all worries
He works from night to day
Back and forth he hurries
Feet to mud and clay
When his jobs are done
He donates fruits of labors
To each and everyone
To town and to his neighbors
While gray and clouded skies
Beckon forth more rain
He's in his fields of rye
Harvesting the grain
He cares not for himself
Before his fellow mate
Putting food on shelf
And dinner on the plate
The callused sturdy hands
The strong and warming heart
He loves his own homeland
And farming is his art

It was on that day that I saw
True love
Burning bright
Like a star
In the caliginous night
Rest softly upon the sand
Where I lay
Wondering
Of what could have been
Of what will be
And you spoke
And opened the eyes of my heart
Closed shut
So long ago
By the pain
That my mind harbored
It is because of you
That I am
Free
From my prison of emotions
It is because of you
That I am
Alive
So warm
In your infinite
Embrace
It is because of you
That I am
Alive

Out of the sunlight and into the gray
Into the dark from the light of the day
Into the agony, pity, despair
I prayed to "God" once but there's nobody there

I prayed to "God" twice but he didn't respond
I prayed to "God" thrice but I guess I was wrong
Maybe once more couldn't do any harm
Didn't they say that the fourth time's the charm?

I am a killing time
Burying it deep
In the ground I stand upon
Hoping that it will not
It will never
Catch up with me
Because time degrades
Destroys
I am killing time
Because time would have killed me first