Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
WickedHope Feb 2022
Take me to the place the nothings go
At least there i won't be alone
You can't erase the past etched in stone
But you can erase the 'yets' that remain unknown
Yet what we haven't done yet
The beauty of a blank page
The freedom to grow
The freedom to make shape retake break
Break free
Free to be a nothing that is perfect
Not because what is done is gone
But because of what could be
Not erased
Unwritten
This is the story of me
WickedHope Sep 2014
If I had it within me to run away,
I have too much to run from,
And nothing to run to.
So I 'm just stuck singing the same tune I guess.
WickedHope Oct 2014
Can I be normal?
I know you don't want "normal,"
But I'm just me.
And no one wants that.
What is my problem?
Oh wait, there are a lot of them...
WickedHope Oct 2014
she walks
into the bathroom
and is met with stares
as gossip ceases
and the amount of
***** looks increases
it shouldn't bother her
but it does

too ugly
*****
too fat
idiot
too misshapen
freak
too broken

they can see her
and she isn't up to par
so she goes home
and gives herself
yet another scar
*******.
WickedHope Nov 2019
Everything I do makes someone cry
I just want someone to be my 2am friend again
So that when I am sad and broken and cold
Someone will wrap me up and make me feel less lonely

The girl who pours her heart out yet keeps it locked is such a peculiar contradiction
No one must see her sorrow
Though she gives away every last ounce of joy
Hoping to fix the holes in other shattered smiles

But when all that you leave yourself with is your sorrow
It's hard to smile when you're alone
You can never recharge if you repeatedly drain your battery to negative one

The girl who is empty from giving but refuses to receive
She will have a hard time indeed
Leaving her heart open
And wearing it on her sleeve
WickedHope Dec 2014
The first abuses the second and ignores the third.
The third is abused by the fourth, who is afraid of the first.
The first is the role model for the fourth.
The fourth torments the second.
The second is sick and dying, like the third.
The third is wished dead by the fourth.
The fourth wants the same as the third.
The third is a better liar than anyone realizes.
Get it? Yeah.
WickedHope Nov 2015
Hot puffs of breath that steam in the crisp air are all I can focus on

Your harsh footsteps faded to to a soft crunch that barely registers

Your melodic voice is nothing more than a glorified hum

You are dissipating
Like steam

The temporary clouds forming from your lips
Are the only thing you have left to give me

And they are just as fleeting as your love
Strangely fond of this one.
WickedHope Jan 2015
I miss your arms on my sides,
And you biting my lips at night.

Remember that day on the beach?
We didn't see a ray of sun in that tent.

Your hair always smelt like oranges
And you tasted like peppermint.
I would always play with your ears
While you toyed with my fingers.

You had this funny way of getting me
To open up for you, my heart, my legs.

When I inflicted damage onto us,
You were the patient repairman;
I was the pain for your scream,
And you were the sorrow for my tears.

Somehow we made sense...
Until the day dream ended.
I'd need like, a year to explain all of this.
It's fictitious but isn't. Not at all.
WickedHope Oct 2014
Why are you trying
It's like you know I'm dying
I'm watching you die
You hurt but lie until you cry

You have every reason to leave
But you can't
And you're being so nice
It's like you know I don't want to survive

You tell me you cried today
Because soon I'll be leaving
Leaving you with them

You are broken, diseased
The doctors tell me
And father...

I'm sorry mother to soon leave you
With two men who degrade and berate you
Words.
WickedHope Oct 2014
Remind me again,
why did you leave?

Was it my age?
My disease?
My poison?
My greed?

Remind me again,
why did you leave?

Was it my height?
My stupidity?
My dress size?
My poverty?

Remind me again,
why did you leave?

Was it my laugh?
My "inexperience"?
My lack of friends?
My lack of brilliance?

Remind me again,
why did you leave?

Oh right,
You left because
I'm just me,
And that's all I'll ever be.
WickedHope Nov 2014
Oh that's rich
Yeah you think I'm a *****
Well have you spoken to your girlfriend lately
Her, the only one you let call you baby
She's so lovely, just a peach
Thank God she ain't nothing like me
"Loyal, devoted," she keeps public face
Faker, cheater, been all over the place
WickedHope Dec 2014
Why       don't       you*       love       me       anymore?
I      understand       why      other     people      don't
,
*But                                  you                                  did
O                         n                         c      ­                   e.
WickedHope Aug 2014
so beautiful,
you always could calm me right down.
you know what to say
to get me to breath again.
a small reflection
of the way it used to be,
late nights of you and me.
long drives, short drives,
when it seemed like
we had nothing but time.
to have that bliss again,
for just one more night,
just for tonight.
Something better than ***.
WickedHope Sep 2014
Are you afraid?
Do you not at all care?
Are you merely flattered?
Do you even want to love me?
I have no idea how you feel now.
Has it changed or do you still feel the same?
WickedHope Dec 2014
I just need to take the last step
And I won't fall
I'll be suspended
As my soul
Stops being so confined
By this body
And I'm

       F         r         e         e  . . .
My only accomplishment in life
has been poetry.
Thank you for reading it.
WickedHope May 2015
Please
Don't humor me with empty promises of
   I'm in town
                  I'd love to meet up
           You are amazing
                          I love you

When everyone knows
You pity me more
Than you could ever
Love
        me
I'm just sad and mopey and words.
WickedHope Nov 2014
Look at me
My skin
Has dealt with a lot


                         I have lived through
                         Tumors and attacks
                         Cuts and bruises from me
                         Bruises from him


My poor skin
In the end
This damage is
All for naught
Because


                            *"Scars are only **** on guys..."
I don't know whether to hate myself or you more right now.
Everything is so confusing I could cry.
WickedHope Oct 2014
Burn
Dance
Tickle my skin
He laughs and says
*You're my favourite sin
Did I say you could ******* touch me, you *******?
I'd yell this, but I'm too scared to move.
WickedHope Aug 2014
How badly I want to curl up next to you
Is my own private issue.

You give me a brief smile
And I’m not certain what it means.
Should I stay for awhile?
Or go back to my daydreams?

Knowing you’re so close to me sets me on fire,
I struggle to control my own growing desire.

I move myself on the gym floor to just out of reach,
For inside of your bubble I’m afraid to breach.

Soon I’m surrounded,
We’re no longer alone.
I curse myself, confounded
With a scared wish to run home.
WickedHope Aug 2015
I just want my words to matter to you
I've tried being silent but it hurts too much

Aim high and land low
Can't you tell I'm more than just show
I painted you murals that glow in the dark
Before you go to sleep just open your eyes
Look at me for once and tell me what you want

I'm too afraid of everything
And I'm still so stupid
Try as I might
I make new versions
Of old mistakes

Just crash with me once
You're not him*      
Make a bet*      
**I'm not her                  
We're supposed to make sense

Tell me something real.
I'm supposed to be the one too terrified to speak,
but I can't tell if I am anymore.
WickedHope Oct 2015
don't tell me what hurts
         i could see the twisted pain written across your face

    what did you expect

you've known me so long but i know
          you don't really know me at all


you see me
                              but forget what i look like
you hear me
                              but have never really listened


                so don't tell me what hurts
                when you've never been torn in half
The look on your face. I didn't imagine it, did I love?
WickedHope Jan 2015
Once we spoke of a room,
A fairly small room,
We could both run to.

I don't quite know what
You sought out of me,
All I wanted was to call
Your arms my home.

But it's quarter past midnight,
And I'm in our room alone, again.

I'm betting that, out of me,
You never wanted more
Than pictures and some words.

You don't need me like I need you --
You never did.

Maybe it's time
I finally stop needing you too.
All you've ever wanted was an interactive fantasy, wasn't it?
- - -
I hate you for doing this to me, but you'll just say it's my fault for caring.
All I am is weakness.
- - -
Remember the one poem out of the hundreds I've written you that you actually asked for? I take it back, especially the lines about beck and call.
- - -
**** this ****, I need to forget for a while.
- - -
WickedHope Feb 2015
call me something outside
outside of myself
beyond these walls
lined with my past
my tears and fears papering the ghost underneath them
call me something outside
and let the inside fade away
we can make it fake and flawless
this person i will become
call me something outside
forget where i was born
that i've been born
take me outside
let me see the dawn
Written on half an index card.
WickedHope Aug 2014
I should go
You said to stay
So I never left
I stayed too long
I killed you
I should go
WickedHope Sep 2014
I have a habit of biting off more than I can chew.
Darling,
Is that what I did with you?
Talk to me again, please...
About more than calculus...
About more than him...
WickedHope Nov 2014
I left footprints in the snow
Trailing North, against where the wind blows
You drove East and ended up West
But our time flying South was arguably the best

Walking North, you followed me
It was cold, you provided heat
Snowflake-covered, you laughed at me
Time stood still -- it was just us, we

My books you carried, all thirteen
Me you carried North, to safety
You were helpful, and smiling with me
Until public eyes, us, could see

Then my heart stayed North
For in you I'd found my worth
But you left me for the West
(And stopped calling me your best)
Some poorly written poetry. Blah.
- - -
I miss my Two A.M.
WickedHope Sep 2014
Do you hear me cry out your name?
I am bleeding, bleeding and in pain.
Trying to save the part that's good from the part that's insane.

You've become my latest anchor, if you didn't know.
I've made you a constant amid chaos, so please don't go.
Can I hold onto you, will you stop the blood flow?

Here I go, creeping into the recesses of my mind.
Watch me pale, fade, disappear from the world in no time.
From a few days ago.
Was going to be longer, but I guess it's done.
WickedHope Oct 2014
I'm afraid of being hurt,
so why do I continue to cause
myself pain.
WickedHope Jan 2015
I want to
dote and decorate
you
with kisses,
love.
I wish I could, you know.
I keep falling faster, and I'm sorry.
WickedHope May 2015
Oh look, Pinocchio found hedge clippers.
Now we'll never know.
WickedHope Sep 2015
Paint me.
If you can't paint, then
Paint me.

          Let me be a draft:                                                           ­                       
M o l d e d       from        your
   muse,
All of your    PASSION    in one place
                                                           ­                         And then
F o r g o t t e n*      or*      *trashed.
WickedHope Apr 2015
My consumption is somehow sinful but in a fabricated way that makes honey seem like cyanide, or perhaps just the opposite (, I'm not sure in truth). Delight is suppressed by my self-skepticism working to root out my faithful and trusting naivete. Somehow skepticism gets lost in my incessant wanderings and wonderings and surely in my pensive ponderings. I debate what your truth is and if you have seen the same paintings that hang in my walls and in my memories. It must be acknowledged, the chance that you have forgotten and remembered the entire Nothing. My only prayer is that you might have insomnia.
Ya kno'?

For a fellow poet on here. I'm slightly curious if they'll happen to read it.
WickedHope Nov 2014
I take bright red ink

                  and decorate my arms

I haven't done this art

                  in a while


I take a clean blade

                  and double check my vitality

I have done this

                  every night this week
Staggered strokes,
Staggered slices.
WickedHope Jan 2015
hahaha
silly girl
silly girl
what are you doing
this is all a dream
no matter
no matter
there will always be blood
in the street
on your hands
you think behind closed doors
you're invisible
but no
you're not
you're just behind a door
they'll open it and
see you
they will see you  
but it's a dream
because you don't matter
why did you collect it all
pooling around their vacant bodies
you paint the white walls
the same thing
each time
you paint a rose
but the rose never stays
it runs red
with the blood you use
because the greatest lie
is that you're in a dream
**when you are the nightmare
no no no no no no no
WickedHope Feb 2015
Am I boiling beneath your skin yet
You waged war
When all I wanted was peace
Let's explode
Paint all over our bodies like canvases
I promised to paint you
And you promised me pianos and voices
Loudly roaring and softly muttering
I'm tired of all these promises to never lie
Never hurt me
You can't guarantee your future
Sure as hell not mine
So now that your skin
Bleeds purple and green
From my brush and needle
Are you ready
To believe me
Don't forget to breathe when I boil you through
For it was all you
You waged war
Artists.
INFJ & ISFP.
It's about **** time, Andrew
WickedHope Nov 2014
Why is it we cure pain with pain?

A burn with utter incineration?

A cut with mortal stabs and fatal slices?

A tear with larger rips and further shredding?

A break with complete shatter and growing fractures?

A love with a deeper, truer, more honest and raw  love?
I think I'm getting worse at this poem thing.
I've basically stopped rhyming altogether it seems,
at least to me.
WickedHope Feb 2015
When you burn paper
It curls in
From the edges
Getting smaller
I am the opposite

Burning
Brightly unfurling
Growing
A mess
Carelessness at it's best
Error.
This Note could not be found.
WickedHope Dec 2014
Andrew, Andrew
Stop letting me draw parallels between you two

Your name
Your parking spot
Your hair
Your glasses, sort of

Andrew, Andrew
Stop letting me draw parallels between you two

Staring at you in AP Chemistry (even though I'm still not in it)
Silly little cartoons on notes that make me smile
You stopping after Spanish 3
Your taste in anime and games

Andrew, Andrew
Stop letting me draw parallels between you two

Driving me home
Driving me insane with your poetry
Awake at all hours
Toying with my wants, desires

Andrew, Andrew
Stop letting me draw parallels between you two --
Be the one to follow through
They have more differences than similarities,
but the amount of similarities freaks me out when I think on them.
WickedHope Aug 2016
Words unspoken, dreams unreached
The spell is broken; time's incomplete.
My eyes now closed as you speak to me,
My heart is folded and it's corners weep.
The tears that gather here are not mine,
Just as the rain as it falls belongs to none,
But by the time it's gathered is nearly gone...
Feeling vulnerable and used.
WickedHope Dec 2014
My legs cross yours
Under feather sheets
My skin kisses yours
Hidden, hushed we meet
Words.
Longing.
More words.
WickedHope Nov 2014
I am the pencil
writing on the blank page
that you can easily ignore
or erase

I am a pencil
trying to write on skin
no damage done unless
I press deep

I am just pencil
because I am expected
to make mistakes
you don't keep

I am not a pencil
for then I could not die
or end my life in
escape
I am floating in nothingness.
WickedHope Feb 2015
the icicles drip your name into the snow                      
                                                       you're *beautiful
^.^
WickedHope Aug 2014
soft voice
warm hands
kind words
a second chance

perfect eyes
crooked smile
strong gaze
please stay awhile

hushed tones
tender kiss
true promise
my only wish
Intended for one, but meant for another.
WickedHope Aug 2014
pick your poison
so i believe it goes
doesn't matter what
as long as it helps you forget

wake up worse
than you were before
double the dose
is the only solution i know

lying here
numb to the world
i look up at the sky
so far gone i forget to remember why
WickedHope Sep 2014
She seems nice
Probably nicer than me
You say she's smart
I get only decent grades
Nice, smart, gorgeous too
Good thing I lost ten pounds for you

Once you said you loved me
Now you love a fencer

Hope you are happy
One thing I could never make you
Please just don't forget me
Even though she's the one who pierced your heart
WickedHope Jan 2015
Sext: do you remember what my nails felt like, digging into your back?
He wanted pictures again...
WickedHope May 2015
decapitation
mutilation

it's always the bubbly girls who smile

****** knives
violent cries

it's always the bubbly girls who smile

angry hate
murderous fate

it's always the bubbly girls who smile

final expression
free from possession

*it's always the bubbly girls who smile
Don't ask. Inspired by class discussion today.
WickedHope Jan 2015
Pink poinsettia petals
Are really just leaves
What makes them so rosy
Or the red ones bleed

I think they are quite like me
All year round my mother
Grows them in our house
Most days they must stay inside
I do the same, in here I hide

Leaves green, on occasion wilting
My smile white, I'm always faking
Potted plant, forced to grow
On one, set path chosen for it
By my mother like she does for me

Pink poinsettia petals
Are really just leaves
What makes them so rosy
Or the red ones bleed
I like the stanza that I repeated, it's from the original version I wrote, I lost the rest though. I tried to re-write it but... I'm not pleased in the slightest.
WickedHope Jan 2015
My back with a two degree spinal curve is not quite flat against the wall
My tall but not tall enough height puts me just below your six-one chin
My small, pianist hands are easily held to the side by just one of yours
My dancers legs refuse to part but that's not what you're here for
My long neck is the target as you stand amid the congret I long to fade into
WickedHope Sep 2014
The piano
The guitar
I've always been drawn to them
I remember
You had me up in your room
Wanting to show me
To strum for me
Introduce me to
The unknown
But I left you
For his piano
For his drums
While you tried
Desperately for me to
Listen to the cords that you played
When I finally looked back
When I decided to listen
You no longer wanted me to stay
As you took me home
I realized my mistake
Part memory, part metaphor.
A mistake I don't want to make again.
Next page