Lion, Lion, Roaring loud
Wrapped his loved in shroud
With a crack in silence in the crowd
Hear the desperation he has vowed

Loss is stuck in perpetuation
Love gone, he suffers starvation
And it carries throughout all of creation
Come now, watch his imagination

Lion, Lion, crying despair
Listen and you will hear
The loved-ones voices he must bare
Listening with hope and begging in prayer

A skippity hop and muddy socks
Sail boats and rain coats
Semis and dump trucks
Bubble baths with ducks
Throwing a ball I love it all!!
***** feet and a sweet treat
Firefighters and quad riders
Lights and sirens and jolly lions
Puppy heroes and horses with wings
These are a few of my favorite things

No song explains it, no poems I’ve read
So I guess I must write one, to express what’s dead
He loves me, I am sure
But my soul does he adore?
He loves me as we are supposed to
The way they tell you when you say “I do”
Here is the thing though, I must express
We have fallen way too far, the subject I must press
A marriage once made for love has changed
Now a business partnership, tasks exchanged
I know between us love is there
But it’s a chore now, what despair
“I cannot live without you.”
He says to me, but “I can’t live with you.”
I scream in my head
My soul almost dead
I do not blame you, or who you are
I blame us both, for driving this far
I must confess I wish we could…
But we cannot, it’s no longer any good
We deserve better, we deserve love
Not the kind that we have, as it’s fading
But the kind with clear cut passion, no shading
It’s the rare, true, and scariest goal
To find someone to love your soul
My heart sings for you, and what we built
My soul cries out to me, filled with guilt
For I have neglected it’s thirst for a drink
You see, that is more important, I think
To follow your soul, fill it with its desires
To explore and find adventures, until it expires
I cannot miss out on another cry
For my soul needs fed or it will die
I tried to express, what I now confess
I tried to express, I even gave you my compass
Maybe you have a different map
Is it worth it to try? Or is it a trap?
I must go now, as my soul has a call
To live life, and experience it all!

Water on my fingertips
Slowly it drips
Like watching leaves turn color
In the Autumn skies allure
Drops on the floor
Never as they once were before
Dripping from me, I wait
For time to pass, so innate
As ticks tocks and water drops
Play a familiar harmony
Heart pounding adds to the symphony
Like how the ocean sang and danced
As waves crash over the wet sand
Or the way birds chipped with buzzing bees
As the wind rustled the feathers of a thousand trees
Understand this beauty, holy matrimony
It is a perfect harmony
Hold on to the lyrics sung in the skies above
Listen and hold the music of truelove
Water drips from my fingertips
And all I do is watch it fall as my heart skips
For nature’s beautiful music is hidden
Taken from me as if I am forbidden
Forbidden to love or feel the peace given
It’s return I await, then all can be forgiven

We wait and watch
A digital wall or wrist-watch
The ticks and tocks
Of the never ending clocks
Continuing night to dawn
It goes on and on
Never does it consider our mood
It is a date or something we elude
A specific dot to take our stance
We sit, we wait, we do the time dance
It goes on and on
One day it’ll be all gone

If I could tell you what I really think
Would you take a drink?
Of my thoughts and passion
Could you have compassion?
If only you knew what went on in here
My head is spinning, I have to go, but where?
Where to or where form am I running?
This event won't stop it keeps returning
This is never ending, am I misbehaving?
I am stuck in a cyclone full of this craving
How to get out, I do not know
Maybe I can stay, and reap what I sow
My thoughts are a mess! maybe only to you?
Because I know what I’d like to do
Is it worth the judgement or deceit?
Can I hid it away, under my bed sheet
Where only I can see the truth at my feet?
If it could stay there, forever hidden and complete
Then I would indulge in the thoughts you cannot hear
The ones deep within me I know you cannot bare
It makes sense to me, I understand it now
All the questions you have, what why, and how?
I don’t want to answer, you will not understand
How I crave what I do! Or where I stand
We all have secrets, yes you too!
Ones that hurt people if only they knew
So do I tell you the thoughts that I think
Would you really like to take a drink?

I crave
A touch
Not soft or gentle

I crave
A lust
So instrumental

I beg
For you
To grab me roughly

I beg
For you
To touch me toughly

I thirst
In need
For someone pressed against me

I thirst
In need
For Someone to hold me

I desire
To moan
Loudly with pleasure

I desire
To moan
Loudly - uncensored

I crave, I beg, I thirst, I desire a touch, a lust-loan.
You see, I am in dire need to moan.

Your heart starts out strong
A break in the chain makes it all wrong
Starts with strength and will
Ends with being helplessly ill
The road block starts with a curious glance
Too soon are you following the dance
Showing the world where you went wrong
I thought you could have been so strong
You have the will and all the power
Take what is yours and build a tower
A wall between you and a curious glance
You can always be what you once were
Strong hearted and always absolutely sure
This battle is tough and only that
A fight to **** off using a loving bat
Show the world what you are worth
You start out strong from birth
Be what you were born to be
A bird that loves back and is free
Follow the correct dance
The one you knew at first glance
Listen to what is true
You know what to do

My cries are unheard
I want your attention
My heart yet beats
Only for my own protection

I follow my lead
In myself I trust
Knowing I’m loved?
I still have a lust

I feel left out
I’ve been left standing
My hearts hidden
This ride is landing

Forgetting me
Better things to do
Than remembering
I do so much too

Taking care of all
Myself and everything
Money isn’t love
Nothing isn’t something

As I said I am unheard
I ask again for your attention!
Yes, my heart may beat
But it’s from my own protection

It is made of the finest bark
Standing between two trees
It is open and closed only in the dark
Enveloped in ivy, locked without keys

Vanishes behind rays of the sun
Following the moon so bright
Away it goes when it hears you come
Held within are secrets that make us light

Locked by your chaos heart
With just a key of silence
Opened only in the darkest part
Warriors of life protect with demilance

A door stands in the forest of life's psalm
A door dedicated to shining bright
Only seen when a heart is calm
Hidden because this door cannot stand a fight

Between two trees it stands, insides expanding
To you there is much unknown
But, the ones inside are filled with understanding
In the world behind it, goodness is shown

This may seem absurd, but just highly misunderstood
Maybe, because you have never seen
What lies behind the sturdy wood
But it's truth, I witness, is keen

Absolutely beautiful carcinogenic
Debating, echoing, fetching
Gathering handfuls, intoxicating
Jigsaw kindness lacking memory
Nothing operating properly!
Questioning reasons sincerely
Testing universal visions
Why x-ray yesterday's zeal?

Oh my sweet demon how I adore you so
We have ridden together many years
Your whispers comfort me when I’m low
You create and extinguish all my fears

You bring me the anxiety that’s grown closely
To my racing heart and dark mind
You bring me the shadows I love so dearly
Why do you have to be so sweet and kind?

I have grown up with you by my side
At first my enemy now ...  best friend
My heart is dark from where you reside
Leave! I ask, but this rule you will not bend

My sweet demon you are in my head
Taunting me and speaking sweet terrors
I cannot **** you for you sleep in my bed
You live in me because of all my errors

Demon, you bring familiarity in the night
The shadows that follow us I know too well
They are our friends too, of that I’m right
Spinning me forever, a never ending carousel

A dream once brought to me
Beautiful and sweet
Tender touches of love
Coexisting, together two bodies high above
Happiness and beauty wrapped around
We were tangle in it entirely bound
A dream once brought to me
Instead turned dark, how can this be?

A nightmare suddenly broke a tremendous light
A face above me now evil, causing much fright
Holding down my fight
Screams muffled by your hand so tight
Pressed against me without tender touches of light

Happiness and beauty no longer in sight
Instead held captive by chains of despair
I stare over my own body tortured, oh what fright
As demons grew around me laughing at my fear
Hard and unsettling with an ice cold heart
You pressed your hot skin to mine
It burned and welted, forever scarred
The nightmares end is lost without time

Shadows cast, screams stopped
Outside myself, scream inside, fight within
Nothing more to do, I laid still and watched
Done and gone, I think not
Replay upon replay, night after night
I dream of only what nightmares taught
And watch myself fight

Never winning over such despair
So sleep is my new found fear

Your touch gentle as a petal in the wind
Kisses soft as the morning sun rise
Slowly rising from the dust undisciplined
Bringing a comforting warmth to my thighs

Your smell familiar as a dream once dreamt
A sweet taste on lips kissing
Hands on my body gracefully you tempt
Long lasting moments of caressing

A love so kind, as a flowers tender touch
Leaves tumble outside tap tap tap as one
Tightly to you I clutch
Skin now hot like the risen sun

Burning the day in sweet harmony
Hips playing a perfect symphony

A scenic view of warmth and motion
A breeze swaying wild and free
Like a curling wave in the ocean
Holding on as an unripe fruit to a tree

A sunset slowly falling down
Releasing the day with a wink of light
Night settles on the ground
Your beauty is all I have in sight

Together we breathe in coexistence
Your touch more tender than anyone
Resting now with peace and silence
Calm night, for the day is done

Sailing through storms, lost at sea
Two ship search for love, they plea
Lost in the unknown, two ships
But relief was found on your lips
Not knowing what we found
A love, or lust, or trust inbound?
Ships tethered together tightly
Surrounded by chaos, so unsightly
But your eyes like the ocean
Slowly swaying me, a beautiful motion
I didn’t know I was searching for you
I didn’t know what I could do
‘Til I found your touch
I couldn’t get enough, to you I clutch
Feelings of adoration, giving me inspiration
Appreciation so strong, my salvation
Chaos ensues over the sea
Two ships search for love, they plea
Untethered by contract made too long ago
One made before truth I didn’t then know
Longing for each other, but belonging to another
Should we even bother, to go undercover
Or brake free and together always be?
Tell me if you can, are we forever lost at sea?

A beautiful mountain, white with snow
A light breeze, a wind ice cold
Frozen in time, I stare in awe
Under ice is a heart so raw
Diamonds glistening, ice shimmering
An imbalance of time and minds dancing
Beauty and despair frozen in ice
Waiting for summer sun to pay the price
Still and quiet, but the pain screams in your head
Frozen in place beside your bed
Staring into the pains
A hundred rocks flow through your veins
A thousand needles biting skin
Outward calm, but screaming within
Summer warmth approaching
Ice slowly melting, diamonds gleaming
With perseverance you break the ice
It falls, shattering, what a sacrifice
I watch as there is nothing I can do
As your body shed the ice encasing you
It is beauty and despair, intertwined
Dripping to the floor, Oh how I adore
To watch you come alive. An uproar!
No longer frozen, full of motion
As if watching a glistening ocean
You stand tall, high above us all
For you melted the ice, made it fall
Leaving only a memory
Your fight so strong, dauntlessly
Standing, living, believing, and yet...
Your feet are wet, so with regret
I must inform of icy returns
Gone are the days of summer sunburns
For ice will come, it will be done
Your body shunned from our warm sun
You will freeze again, be lost again
Icy diamonds will shine like back then
You must remain strong while waiting,
Frozen in time that is crippling
Shed your ice everyday, overcome
One day Summer will stay and all this will be done

"A Psalm of Life" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
What the heart of the young man said to the Psalmist

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!APsalmof_Life

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,—act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;—

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

You are sick
suddenly,
it hit you
like an unexpected enemy
and that's what it is
enemy
I like that word
for describing such pain caused
Attacking you
against you
trying to take you out
Enemy

love thy enemy?
God, how can I?
How can you?
What a terror
what a horrific thing to allow
I scream
in pain
how my Dad must want to scream
but he can't
for the enemy has weakened him
he has taken many blows
infirmary
doctors
tests and more tests
answers?
cures?
none.

Why Enemy? What did he do to you?
Nothing!!
he was kind to his body
so why do you attack it so
Enemy I hate you
if hate could bury you
if it could rip you out of his body
and make you ... disappear
Then hate would **** you for sure
I have enough to eradicate your tiny growth of existence
Your tiny bits causing so much despair

Enemy, I beg of you, don't take him from me

God, fight for me, I am too weak
take over, heal, destroy this terrible little vial growth
God please, I beg on my hands and knees
I plead, don't take my Daddy from me
don't ruin my heart by taking away one of the first people to love me in this world
God please, you gave him to me as Dad,
to love me like you do.
And he did, and he does, and forever will
I need his voice, his hugs, his everlasting comforting presence,
GOD!!
i scream...

Even when I'm simple you turn away,
I am sitting here telling you I'm not okay,
Turn your head from my cries if you’re mean,
These things I tell are something, they are keen,
Understand that you’re not there for me,
Paying bills is not the key,
I cry to you, of all I care,
So much I have had to bare,
No pity please, I want none,
But I'm not liking the shun,
You always disrespect my heart,
Irresponsibly shooting a missing dart,
Hello there, please remember me,
I need attention too, can't you see,
Denial fills you, in your mind,
Thinking you are so kind,
The love I feel, but not the attention
Is any of this comprehension
Listen to me, here me out,
Be there when I begin to cry out.

1
Screams in the night,
Sleeping all day.
Yelps of pain,
And cries of anger.

****** torture,
Mind disruption,
Soul disappearance

Tears in the light
Screams in the night.

2
Terror through and through,
Scared thoughts of pain.
Living in sadness,
Then despair,

Life drained.
Dark appears.
Nothing left.

All taken and blue,
Terror through and through.

My momma taught me to be early at the airport
She taught me how to prepare for court
How to dress for an interview
And to pay bills before they’re due
I learned a lot from her
The list goes on for sure
How to throw a punch
And to always pack a lunch
Organize and keep your stuff clean
Carry with you anything you might need
My momma taught me to have passion
Also when to fold and cash in
Good things here and there
Small bits when she was able to care
Most importantly though
I learned emotions not to show
How to care for a grown adult
And how to hide emotional assault
How to duck under an object thrown
I learned to grow up on my own
She taught me much and taught me well
How to let go of heaven and live in hell
To follow all her commands
To believe her words and mental scams
My momma taught me to go numb
God forbid I let my anger come
I had to let words fly by and disappear
Bite my tongue and always stay clear
Of the things thrown or words yelled
I couldn’t be me so my feelings I shelled
Closed up and shut down, I bow
My momma taught me how

I am grateful for what I’ve learned
To let go of everything I yearned
Nothing for me, myself, or I
I crave attention now, I wonder why?
I am searching to be a Queen
Not to rule, I just want to be seen
Look at me and what I can do
See me, hear me and I’ll show you
What I know and how I learned
Understand me for I have yearned
To be supported and guided through
If only back then a way out I knew
If only I had gotten out before
A successful life I could adore
A peaceful mind without scare
I could actually feel and care
Instead I am numb and closed down
I am being held until I drowne
Suffocated by my past
Pain that continues to last
Through adulthood and life
It affects me now a mom and wife
I am broken because of you
Because of everything I learned to do
I had to let words fly by and disappear
Bite my tongue and always stay clear
Of the things thrown or words yelled
I couldn’t be me so my feelings I shelled
Closed up and shut down, I bow
Because my momma taught me how

Excerpt from ‘The Wind on the Downs’
"That you are round about me, I believe;
And knowing you are happy; should I grieve?
And when I leave the meadow, almost wait,"
(Continued by Dani Massey)
For you to show up where I have placed the bait.
Love is keeping me here as long as the day,
Coming back until I have your say.
This is something I need to know,
Did you want to stay or want to go?
Give me all my prayers to read again,
So I can fix them in permanent pen.
Let me know so I can think of your face,
And not cry, but remember your grace.
Show me you can feel no more pain,
Show me that I am truly sane,
And that I am right about that place,
Because I know you can see His face.
The perfect peace you surely can feel,
I know that is part of the deal.
It will be a while for me, my turn I have to wait,
For the privilege to see the perfectly pearly gate.
When my name is called I know I am ready to go,
But your choice, I need to know!

It taunts us
It frightens us
Like darkness in day
Like shadows that slay
Swells of the ocean
Swells of a black potion
A true death
A true last breath
Murdered by aspiration
Murdered by suffocation
Your own creation
Your own demolition
Screaming loud to be heard
Screaming undeterred
There is a ray of light
There is sun in sight
Air is on the way
Air without delay
More than a word
More than what’s heard
Keep up the fight
Keep away fright
Shove darkness away
Shove death to obey
Breathe and climb up
Breathe to fill your cup
Joy is what we need
Joy will get us freed
Come on now
Come and bow
Only to the light
Only a continued fight
For it taunts us
For it frightens us
Don’t give up
Don’t give up
See the joy ahead
See it and darkness shed

Like the broken glass of a window
Shattered to pieces
A million bits laid out for show

Sweep me up and throw me out
Please don’t
I beg, I scream and shout

I promise to shine in the sun
Sparkle in light
I’m better than what I’ve done

I am not trash to be swept away
I am more
Hear me and what I say

I will not be the glass as before
I cannot be
But a new creation to love and adore

See me in the glistening light
Uncovered
The darkness I’ll gladly fight

Broken with no return to past
No not true
I’m breaking out of this cast

No more restainsts or darkness
I tell you now
Don’t be so heartless

Let me try to do better
I swear it
I won't be a scarlet letter

Like the broken glass of a window
Let me shine
I want to rebuild, so please don’t let go

I have all I ever wanted
It is a dream come true
All I ever asked for
A family, a home, a life so full

It is beautiful as I look in
Sunshine beaming and sleek
Like heaven on earth made just for me
Nothing more to seek

Or so I thought

Darkness swept over my eyes
The agitation hit suddenly.
Crawling itching skin, as if I was sick
Infected with a virus no one could see

Happiness where did you go?

I saw sunshine and smiles
Everyone beautiful as God or Goddess
Then suddenly like a swarm of flies
I was taken under pulled down into darkness

It was like being eaten alive
Held under and drowning in death
Pulled on, dragged down, held there
Clawing, gasping for a single breath

I watch it all from outside my tomb

As I watch myself pleading for help
I see dirt falling on my head
I have nothing to give to assist
I have no rope to send

There is nothing left to give

I can only watch from the outside
Numbness fills my soul
With total fear and terror that I cannot feel
A loss of all control

A million hands pull you down
Sinking numbness suffocates like dirt
The darkness burning as you breath it in
Knowing pain without feeling the hurt

Still fighting with health at zero

I watch myself die over and over
Only to find that I am still alive
The swarm bites and claws
Will help ever arrive?

I don’t believe it anymore

Somehow with nothing left to give
I am clawing, gasping to breath
How long can I go.
Guess I'll have to watch and see.

To all the beaten
To all the abused
For all the hurt
For all the accused
This is for you
This is a token
Listen to these words
Listen to the outspoken
Those who hurt them
Those who are mean
Look at what’s done
Look at what’s keen
Some run and hide
Some ruin lives
They come in sweet
They leave with knives
This is the way
This is how it's done
It helps the evil
It helps no one
Leave the lost alone
Leave them to be found
Notice the hatred you have
Notice all that's sound
Look at what you do
Look what's been made
They show with guns
They come with a grenade
Taking you away
Taking your life
Death is the cost
Death reaps with a scythe
You broke a heart
You broke your own
Not easily fixed
Not as a bone
Tell the world
Tell its worth
Breaking to be broken
Breaking this Earth

Slow and steady
Now, are you ready
Take me by the hand
And we can walk the sand
Love all day and night
We fall again by the light
Each day loving more
All the way to our core
I need you so much
For breathing, living, and such
You do it all for me
I believe you are the key
We unlock the Earth
And keep lit the hearth

A single string, a strand of hair
Tiny, almost unseen
A flower in a field
At the center of your life
Unnoticed
Dropping pedals slowly
Alone, blowing in the winds
The single string holds on
The lost flower stands tall
Unnoticed but
Not insignificant

A tiny piece
That no one sees
Yet a giant that stomps on by
One day you’ll understand
You’ll see
Just how big this is
How strong this is
I tell you now
But you do not know

I talk of something
That no one wants to feel
But you will,
One day you will know
The delicate touch
And strong force it brings
It’ll be too late though
For you did not notice before
The flower in a field
Blowing in the wind

You did not notice before
The string across your life
Holding everything together
With strength and softness
unnoticed
As it floats on by
Lost as it passes
Pedals gone as they fall
Never returning

Only leaving memories
Of what it once was
A single string, a strand of hair
Tiny, almost unseen,
A flower in a field,
At the center of your life
gone