Obey, do not display
Stay, there is no time to play
Emotions are not for show
Just reap the crops you sow

**** it all
Do not fall
You cannot fail
For you must set sail

To the ends of success
No need for excess
Emotions are not for show
Just reap the crops you sow

Reap and reap, build and build
Do not let down your guild
Keep going, do not dwell
On the pains that swell

This is what we are taught
This is how we get caught
In the perpetual fire blazing
Judging eyes a-gazing

It burns you up
To be ****** up
It devours your life
Nothing left, bring on the scythe

Why love or live another day?
When I've already been murdered inside?
What really is there left to say?
How can I live when I've already died?

Let me tell you something neat
Its knowledge is power that cannot be beat
Ready? It's a hard pill to swallow for sure
It will allow life to florish, but it's not quite a cure
You see.... it takes a lot of work
I'll say again, it takes a lot of work!!
Listen carefully now, It's not just for tricks
Allow yourself to feel the pain, and you will die a Phoenix
You will be brought back to life
And oh, what a wonderful life
It is filled with joy and love
It takes a lot of work, most important though, LOVE
The kind that's raw and open deep
The kind that brings a melody and weeps
Love, it is the birth and death of all
So listen carefully my Phoenix, do you hear the call?

Why do you haunt me ghost
Lingering, lurking, and watching your host
Around every joyful corner you linger
From every happy window you watch
And from ever peripheral shadow you lurk
You do not own me
Yet you dangle a key
As if to show my captivity
In chains I am bound
As memories fly around
Nightmare is a better name
For this haunting game
Day lit terrors before my eyes
Sunny momentarily, til you cover the skies
A dark lit confusion
Met with desperation

All the unspoken screams
Still rattle in my head
Fear fills what were once dreams
Panic now owns my bed
A bed I wish to share
With kindness and love
But you lay there and stare

Oh, but what a wild world it is
You see we breath to live
Yet, we live to die

What is it that you see in me
Captivating and engaging
Listening and relatable
Understanding and without prejudgements
Hell, without any judgements
So you lean in
You get close
You relate and confess and dive deep within yourself
Open up and share
Shed your walls and calased emotions
This feeling not like any other
Not many make you feel this way
So infatuation you grow
And intrigue you sow
And in love you fall
For this, you cannot let go
It is vulnerable and raw
It is open and healing
Calming and exciting
Love, you believe
But love, you do not know
For these are not for you
They are of me
Who I am and who I continue to be
It not for you, it is for me
You are not my dear beloved
Just simply my muse
Flirtation? You must be mistaken
This is my Aura, this is my color

Although you love my color
You do not love ME

For you do not know of the dark shades I harbor
Or the corner with my monsters - that I love so
I cannot be yours, yet you are mine
Given so easily and devotely
But I cannot do that same

This is not my name
My title is not for you
It is for me
I am mine, I am not made for you

The moon rises high in the sky
To the light of day we say goodbye
As the sun goes away
The wolf comes out to play
The man goes away
And the wolf comes out to play
A ***** of flesh it desires
A primal instinct it requires
It runs with the wind
On a hunt for those who have sinned
To eat their hearts full of mud
It's mouth dripping with dark red blood
Sharp teeth and ragged fur
Protection you cannot procure
To the light of day we say goodbye
As the moon rises high in the sky
The form of man goes away
So the wolf can come out to play

A black hole is ******* in light
Gravity is everything and it's folding inward
Crushing, absolutely crumbling
Like a thousand tons on your chest

Emptiness and nothingness consume

Do you feel it, the darkness?
Where everything and nothing exist all at once
Where you can touch fear and see joy
Isn't it beautiful, and terrible all at once

It's the heaviness of gravity and flying
The consumption of death and life
Adrenaline and calmness
It's destruction and reconstruction

Staring at the darkness where nothing and everything live
Feeling both all at once
Every emotion floods your soul
As the pressure of the condensing black numbs every nerve

You're floating away, sinking and flying
Deeper into the hole of emotional despair
Higher into the dark empty peace
Are we dying or is this living?

Scream, scream! ... Louder!
Pull me out, someone please pull me out
I have no strength left to fight
I'm terrified, but I'm empty
It's peaceful letting go
But I don't want to

I've always been told I couldn't.
I finally realize that I can
Take what I want
Devour my needs
Taste the forbbiden fruits
Ones without labor
Grown from stone
Gleaming brightly and suddenly,
As I took a bite
As my lips met skin
The sweet fruity juices became blood
Red dripped from my mouth
Solitude never felt so cold

Is it worth it? After all we have done
And all that's been done to us.
Can we pretend darkness doesn't exist.
Fall without fearing the risk..
As if for the first time again
After all we have done and all that's been done to us.

Cause I am falling more with every lingering kiss
As you press close to me I forget about the risk.

Your touch is a harmony
Skin to skin, a perfect symphony
The warmth of you delights me
Your eyes are my sanctity
A sanctuary of a musical harmony

Generational gaps of knowledge and experience
Bringing to you some kind of appearance
Like the technology at our fingertips
Or the way an old clock ticks
Differences in us by decades of age
Though, similar in so many ways
Like the way we love
Or want be loved
Like the need to dance
Or taking a chance
Generational differences
But human nonetheless

"The Silence Is So Loud"

Floating along the mountains, just above the ground
Soaring high, seeing, feeling and flying
The silence of wind so ******* loud
Falling down suddenly, what a rude awakening

But we do not wake, we just quietly stare
At the ground growing closer
Knowing we will not splatter here
Sometimes wishing it so, just for the exposure

Exposure of our fearless mind, so terrified
Not of the rise or fall, as we know them well
Afraid of our weakness, and that our fear might be verified
That we might let go, forgetting we're under a spell

We allow our rise to continue and soar without regard
And do not consider the descent we know is coming
Wind bustling our ears muffling the thoughts we continuously disregard
For the rise is beautiful, like flying and dancing

The high is absolutely thrilling, we can no longer think clearly
We try to stay with the energizing adrenaline, we try to gain composure
Yet, we grow weary
So here comes the free fall, watch the ground grow closer

And we begin to beg ... for a level head to rest in our cave.
Oh the great highs and the terrible lows. A level head is all we crave...

Generational gaps of knowledge and experience
Bringing to you some kind of appearance
Like the technology at our fingertips
Or the way an old clock ticks
Differences in us by decades of age
Though, similar in so many ways
Like the way we love
Or want be loved
Like the need to dance
Or taking a chance
Generational differences
But human nonetheless

In a forest without trees
Where only a buzz is heard, not seen
She laid on black ground
Her belly up and her face down
She stared at the missing stars
Empty spaces of used up light, now just scars

Bathing in a sea of mud
She lifted her hands and saw blood
LIFE she thought, so from the ****** muddy pulp
A melting body she tried to sculpt
To bring to life from the wet dirt
A being to love her, although formed in a chaotic birth
To fill the voids with light and sense
Instead, a being stood, made of nonsense
Upsidebackwords and a grievous grin
For which she hugged dispute the sin

Pretending that light magically appeared
Knowing it was only her sanity that disappeared
Upsidebackwords and a spinning head
She would be okay here, amongst the dead
Living in an empty chaos was better than not
So she gave up what she had originally sought

Spent her life in the upsidebackwords, and forgot
That she created this being to aid her escape, but it was all for not.

There's this weight I carry
It's heavy and exhausting
It's beautiful, and quite daring

It yanks me down more times than I can count
Squeezes, punches, and pushes every last nerve
But it's perfect on every account

It's the hardest, most difficult weight I've ever carried
Full of kicks and screams and fits
But it's something I refuse to burry

I could walk away and live a different life
I could be weightless and free
But this weight is worth more than my own life

So I will pull it up over ranges of mountains
I will piggy back it over every raging sea
And if anyone tries to harm it, I would **** thousands

It's the most precious cargo I could ever own
It's the only I can ever have
So I choose to carry it and to never be alone

For its weight brings me great joy
And the warmth is overwhelming
So I hold tight and hold strong and enjoy

For the terrain will mellow down
And it will not always be this heavy
So this weight I hold with love, and in it I drowne.

I could scream at you
I could punch you
But no good would it do
For neither me or you

Although my anger is still hot
I'm cooling it down with the breath I've caught

Hey there Jack, Pat, Jameson, whatever your name is
I'll shoot ya down shot-by-shot, I'll take that hit
All these boys,
I'll shoot ya down like a burning fire
'Cause I need me a Johnny Walker Blue type of man

Something worth swirling slowly
Worth pressing to my lips
Taking slow sips
With the music loud
Dancing around

I don't need me a Jack, Pat, Jameson type of boy anymore
I'll just shoot ya down, shot-by-shot, shoot ya down
I'm here for my Johnny Walker Blue man!

I might get fancy, and even dancy
Off your cheap shot
I'll feel the fire burning
My head swirling
Still, though, something is missing
I'm really just here searching...
For my Johnny Walker Blue man!

It was the longest cigarette she had ever smoked. The most toxic, clouded, cough filled puff of nicotine she ever inhaled. It disappeared eventually, with the wind as she let out the long awaited final drag. The sun touched her skin for the first time in years. The flowers bloomed and the crisp clean mountain air filled her lungs as she walked away. The burnt bud flicked from her hand, stomped on with her foot. A breeze blowing away the cloud of smog, she finally felt clean.

How can this be
Is it just who I am, is it me?
How can this be?

Questions are lined up
Spinning my head around
Answers nowhere to be found

How do I still crave
To walk into the oldest of caves
The one that whispers inside

How do I still want more
When I have everything I could possibly adore
How and why? Is this just a part of my core?

Wild and free ain't all it sounds to be
I don't want wild, I just want set free
From this taunting voice inside of me

Begging to be fed
And I want it as heavy as lead
But I hide it under the bed

Should I indulge again
Or, sweep it under the rug
Head up, eyes forward
Don't move, stand strong
Hold on to what you have

But the silence is so loud
My heart can't be proud

Turn it off turn it off
Make it stop calling out to me

How can it be?
That I still crave
What lies within that cave

It is when you are corrupted that it is most difficult to go back, but falling out of innocence is easy. It's as if you could laugh you way from sweet to greed. Just step on down to the *****, wet ground. When your knees hit the floor and you want to stand back up, that will be the moment you realize just how hard it is to climb out. Climb out of the mud that coats your body. The mud that you dismissed as it filled your lungs and spewed from your mouth with every word you spoke. It felt good and easy sliding down into a puddle of muck. Now try to stand up. Try to wipe your greed soaked clothes dry. It's difficult coming back to innocence when you fall so deep into ignorance.

I know what you did to her
I know she agreed to have *** with you
But she didn't agree to the next part
you held her down and came inside
She told you not to she told you not to
You did it anyways
You apologized
but you did it again and
You apologized but you did it again

do you even feel bad
do you even care
That you broke her trust
Disrespected her

She told you she didn't want another baby
But you still did
She told you and..
You didn't listen
You tried anyways and you hurt her
Caused her pain
You apologized but you did it again
Apologized and apologized
But that doesn't fix what you've done and...

I know what you did to her
it's something that can never be undone
Did you think your reasonings were better
Than what she wanted
You wanted another baby she told you she didn't
Yet you held her down and you came inside her
Because your wants are bigger than hers
Did it make you feel powerful
Did it make you feel in control
Did it make you feel better.
I hope it made you feel worse
Worse than she felt when she was curled up on the bed crying

I could scream at you
I could punch you
But no good would it do
For either me or you

Although my anger is still hot
I'm cooling it down with the breath I've caught

I found it, I finally found it!
It was hidden deep down,
Covered in layers by a mighty frown.
Freedom from your control and your anger
Has made me a better stranger!
Dancing in the streets
Loving in the sheets!
What bliss it is
To find this!

I was drowning for so long,
Grasping at any emotional song.
Just to feel something,
To know happiness or pain, anything!
I tell you know, I sing with joy,
I am free to kiss a girl or boy.
Does it really matter which?
Now that I have escaped your grasp, *****!

I found it!, I searched so long for it!
My SOUL if free
My very inner-core is happy!

I lost my soul somewhere along the road
But now I do not allow a touch by hands so cold.
I know better, and I learned.
For so long I had yearned,
To bring to life the adventurous me.
Now here I dance, and sing,
Here I raise my glass to the happy and free!

I lost my soul
Somewhere along the road
I cannot tell you if it was stolen
Or misplaced, I have forgotten

I used to run
I carried with me tons of fun
It resided within my heart
Gone forever, or just broken apart?

I was energetic
And positive with a personality magnetic
Where did it go
I ask myself, but I do not know

I lost myself
Somewhere I’m boxed up on a shelf
Hidden by fear and stress
Emotions in a box, I’m expressionless

I lost my soul
It started many years ago
Slowly and steadily stripped away
Because I gave myself away

If only you knew
What I really thought of you
My knight in shining armor
But now you just devour
It is like you eat my soul
******* the life as we go

Maybe you don’t realize
That you have left me paralyzed
Not by love, or infatuation
But by a soul disruption
Leaving me numb and blue
Suffocating, If only you knew

Do you see what you are doing?
Do you know where we are going?
Because I screamed it out nice and loud
I stand alone, but I’m going to find my crowd

Because you refused to let our souls live
We will wither away, nothing to give
I AM TELLING YOU I AM DYING
Do you hear me screaming?
I tried, but soon they’ll say “she died
Suffocated by a soulless life
So sad, she should have tried
Could have been so much more
Than a ‘perfect wife’" .. that's for sure

Do you see me now?
HERE I AM, I bow
Not in submission, NO
But to signal a dramatic completion
Of a play that is too long for the screens
A sad, sad play full of numb and blank scenes
You see, I am ending it now
so we can take our bow

You may choose to stand on stage for the end of time
But I will build my own Moulin Rouge with a bright sign
I will live life, and enjoy my ride
Goodbye goodbye, I officially resign

Sh.. Don’t tell him, but I have a secret
He doesn’t know yet...
I have to go, or i’ll have more and more regret
It’s a big one… it’ll cause a lot of pain, I bet

I am leaving him, don’t you know?
For a woman, he doesn’t even know
She is pretty, most days I like her
She recently found herself, suddenly so sure

***** blonde hair, that rests at her neck
Bright green eyes, and .. give me a sec…
There’s more.
She is strong - a quality I adore

Her walk is purposeful
Her talk is straightforward and meaningful
She is ***** minded and a little bit odd
She is a pink salmon in a river of cod

Standing out from the crowd you see
She is a wild spirit that just got set free
I love her, like I never have before
A new found trust in her very core

I tell you this, because I had to hear it
I don’t know how he will bare it
When I tell him I have to go
To be with this woman I found when I was low

The biggest secret is yet to be told you see
Because the woman I need to be with,          is me.
I found strength in myself finally
He tried to put me through a refinery

But I dug deep, with no time to weep
I clung to my spirit in hopes to keep
The happy and adventurous me
So here I go, I am finally free

You drew me in, in that special way you do
Pulled into your space without resistance
A deer in headlights in total awe of you
Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance

Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean
Beautiful and harsh, full of passion
Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion
Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection

The sweet taste of your lips on mine
Makes butterflies swarm my whole body
Please, I beg cross the line
We don’t mind being a little bit naughty

So to you I raise my glass
Cheers for bringing me intoxication
A toast for every slap of my ***
A smile, for every bit of our infatuation

A land only nature has touched
A lion to its prey, clutched
Before that though
The Lion crept up real slow
Crouched down real low
He puts on a good show
Creeping and crawling
Absolutely stalking
His ***** orange coloring
Unseen by a prey so alluring
His big tufted paws are like a quiet breeze
Unheard by a prey totally at ease
His eyes focus, like a morning lotus
Finding the sun with such slowness
Silently stalking towards prey, not yet ferocious
A gleaming meaty meal ready to devour
Just another moment and little prey will cower
First a pounce with claws drawn out
Then a bite and a shake, making the prey shout
Now a *****!
Chewing prey up before its deceased
Drug across the land only nature has touched
A lion has won it’s hunt, quiet now, be hushed
Can you hear nature sing, the way she does
With violence and beauty no matter if lion or cheetahs
Now humans are different! Or is it really so?
The desire the same as a beasts hunt, reaping what we sow
A need to ***** and overpower
A craving to devour

It sure is such a rarity
To have any kind of clarity
In this pall we’re covered with - no verity
Grey is not lit with any prosperity
Only shroud covered lands all in a form of familiarity
Knowing what is covered, but cannot see it’s true identity
Shadows cast through the day of skies so cloudy
A wet mist reminds - there is no remedy
Sunshine does not peek or wink through an atmosphere so gloomy
Dark grey grows over the land walked by one in singularity
Unfortunately, having clarity is such a rarity, a sad insincerity..

A walk on the beach, calm and content
A slow stride with intent
Directions are clearly written
For the water tempts with graceful position
"Come to me, and take a swim
I will shelter you, please come on in
Little green speckled walker
I, the Ocean, call you son and daughter."
With a joyous pitter
And an excited patter
Water to toes,
Then feet, legs, and tummy, all the way to little turtle’s nose.
Protection and freedom within the ocean
A soft sweet lullaby motion

Creeping crawling
Waiting stalking...
You sit there in wait
As if a planned date

Of which, I do not know
Why are you staring little crow?
You sit and watch beating hearts
'Til the harvest starts

I almost tune out the evil laugh
That you bellow from deep within your wrath
And almost forget where you reside
That is, within me, deep inside

Your jar of souls collected slowly
You take your time being unholy
You go into hibernation away from the watchful cavists
You do not mind though, for winters calm brings great Spring harvests

You feast and feast devouring bit by bit
You take piece by piece encouraging me to submit
Fighting the pain,
Fighting in vein...

Tearing me down, nonstop
As if I your crop
Little crow caws in joyous evil song
Release me from your grasp, I beg all night long

You come and go
And reap what I sow
Taking my strength and will to fight
Chomping down into flesh throughout the night

Released once more, you hide away again
I almost forget, but you have written it in permanent pen
You wrote "Never forget, sweet child, I am you keeper.
Sincerely,
The Soul Reaper."

This is not a request
It is a demand for the best
Sent on a quest
To find the passion between my *******

Do not quit
Nor throw a fit
My desires remain unsplit
Here I am with all my wit

There I go
With passion in tow
Running like I did years ago
Here I go quickly, although

Awoken by reality’s lewdness
What a serious crudeness
Why does reality have such rudeness
Leaving me with nothing, but nudeness

Naked and confused by reality
The truly cruel world of fatality
Designed to live to die, another mortality
We live without living, Is this really our mentality?

Something needs to budge
So don’t look back holding a grudge
Put our world on trial with a ruthless judge
We need reconstruction here to rid the sludge

Let it out, all that is wrong
Speak it loudly, this may be long
A trial of the world just chugging along
Not noticing we lost all that is strong

Pretend not to be
The mask you acquire
Stand up against currents
Ripping at skin
Filleting fish, STAND
A requisite, no deficit
For this terror we hide
Do not abide
Pretend not to be
What we cannot be

Addicted, I joke of my obsession
Obsessed? I laugh at it’s truth
Live life, move on, go on
It will come around, I know
One day this building will fall on top of me
Crumbling me under the rocks
But I am addicted to whats inside
I cannot let it go
The smell, the taste, the feel
Most of all.. The adrenaline.
It hits and holds, like a drug better than any other
No need for pills or syringes.
No smoke or bowl to pack
Just a mental addiction for physical pleasure
I cannot stop, I cannot stop, I cannot let go

Mist lay before you covering lands
Careful steps now, feel around with hands
Nothing seen but what's at your feet
Go slow and steady, for mist carries deceit
Don’t be fooled
let your curiosity be cooled
One step at a time do not look ahead
Or underground will be your newfound bed
Don’t try to clear the mist with magic tricks
What lies before you is set in stone not sticks
Cannot be changed or foreseen or broken
Just walk the path at your feet one step for a token
Reward for staring down, focused on where you step
Reward for moving forward, without a tricky attempt
Present is your only state
Mind it carefully for a clean slate

You drew me in, in that special way you do
Pulled into your space without resistance
A deer in headlights in total awe of you
Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance
Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean
Beautiful and harsh, full of passion
Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion
Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection
The sweet taste of your lips on mine
Makes butterflies swarm my whole body
Hidden nerves, corner kisses, crossing the line
We don’t mind, and it’s fun being naughty

So to you I raise my glass
Cheers for bringing me intoxication
A toast for every slap of my ***
A smile, for every bit of our infatuation

Quickly it brewed
Slowly it cooled
A love with passion
Full of compassion
Died out in the way
Hot water steams away

She moved towards me like silk moves in a breeze. Her glow was soft, yet strikingly strong. Eyes brown and big like an oak tree in summer with rays of golden sun stung throughout. She moved as if an angel slowly awakening inside her. Her long brunette hair shimmered as it gracefully fell along her shoulders resting upon her *******. I would call her body smooth like softly blown waves in the sea, but no justice would it give to her. Her smile could make any woman stop in her tracks, just to appreciate the glorious happiness it brings. Her laugh brings joy like the peace nature brings in solitude. A total eclipse of winters cold, only allowing warm spring and summer. Hips a sailboat rocked by a beat only she could know. Sweet kisses with lips that taste like the most perfectly ripe fruit. Her hands touch as water does; politely gracing your skin and leaving you with droplets slowly fading. Her glance love-filled as a lover of many years might look at you. She is beauty from the inside out; she is graceful with every step; she is everything I want, and so much more.

Calm, and solid, never a riot
Heavy like a weight on a string
Muscles slow and mind quiet
All this a little pill can bring
Soft and slow like a winter storm
Freezing over a mind and body
Altering the natural form
Changing for better or worse
That is unknown
Whether it be a blessing or curse
No matter at all ‘cause emotions are alone
Stranded, but free
Heavy weighted body, what a cure
Walking through water, maybe
Sweet, blissful relaxation for sure

Take me down to the river to scream
Where the fish are alive in the stream
Where the heart can loudly beat
There we are safe to take a seat
Resting our feet from the fire
We can clearly see our true desire
Let our screams cover it all in black
Do not hold anything back
We used to have silly little fears
But now we face true worldly scares
In a river with only so much water
Let us fill it with the fears we slaughter
In a storm or current that sweep us up
Screaming on to fill and fill, now keep it up
Let it out and release your cares
Let it out so we forget our fears
Move on and enjoy the sweet rush of water
As if nature our mother and we her daughter

Surfing black waves
Diving deep within unknown caves
Going without knowing a destination
What infatuation
Dark waters covering sight
Seaweeds tickling feet
Temping to pull under what might dare to enter their space

No skies above or light seen
Sounds muffled under deep green color
The feeling of floating and sinking combined
One single lonely feeling that almost died
Forever it lives on as the moon moves the tide
Ever-changing but never fleeting inside

Terminal depths and loved kept
Hidden are those who understand the scene
Displayed before your eyes above, although unseen
Surf the blackness of waves never failing gratification
Dive into the depths without knowing destination
Allow weeds that tickle your feet to pull you under, they tempt
Swallow the deep green waters of a bay where others are exempt

Dissect me, tear me apart, take what you please and turn me to art. Poet, poet mind, poet soul. Write me like one of your poems old. My eyes green and my soul - a rainbow dull. Piece me together with words that flow. Break me apart to describe me as I grow. I want to see what others do. I want to read the thoughts of you. Poet, Dear Poet, write me please. What I ask is not a simple act; I know it won’t come with ease.

Sincerely,
Me

It’s the rare, true, and scariest goal
To find someone to love your soul

What, to you, is seen
Maybe you are soaking in the color green
I hope not for your soul wouldn’t be clean

Perhaps blue the one carried throughout night
Maybe you see it or feel it dampening your might
I hope not for it takes away your bright sight

Consider you see red in a darker shade
The kind given when skin meets blade
I hope not for it is no good to carry a grenade

Think now that you see only grey
A blank colorless sight hard to convey
I hope not for this color surely can slay

Look at the world and tell me
What color it is you see

Incoherently decreasing my voice ...
                             Spinning?                       Spiraling?

                                       Absolutely falling!!
In love? Or into darkness?
                                                What is this called?

            I AM FLYING!!

Oh, what a sharpness...
                                          To find out you are falling.

Whispers slowly growing
                                               Shadows casting.

A dark world turned black ...
                                               Falling still?
                                                                   No I think I am flying!?
Up above ... I swear it!

I must be lifting higher!
                                          Or am I just ... falling too fast?

I do not know what I cannot understand.

What a terror
                         Oh the despair

Screams envelope the blackness
                                                          Beauty glides along my veins

                                                     Blood
                                   Flowing up from my body

                 Amazing trickles of red dots moving above

                                  How can I stop, catch myself?
Where is love?