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304 · Jan 2019
Fire
Chris Jan 2019
Life will sometimes feel uncanny,
Weird and void of understanding,
Life will sometimes let me tell,
Be loveless, and will hurt like hell.

Love will sometimes feel so forceful,
Leaving you to face the cold,
In that time to be remorseful,
Is to really hate your soul.

Life will sometimes feel like falling,
To the endless pit that's calling,
All those who betrayed their wrath,
Downwards surely strays their path,

Love will sometimes be disgusting,
You will sacrifice your dream,
For someone who is neither lasting,
Nor are fully who they seem.

Life will sometimes feel unchanging,
And all the joy in it like fading,
But no matter where you turn,
Wrath should always brightly burn.
301 · Feb 2019
Mad
Chris Feb 2019
Mad
I say I like it.
Being mad.
Tried to be normal once, didn't go well.
It's the answer.
To all of you.
Nothing helped me, Noone helped me,
No support or understanding.
I've gone insane and I am a better person for it.
What's stopping you?
297 · Apr 2019
Reasons unknown
Chris Apr 2019
Sport and reality TV,
Bad music and Turkish shows,
Why do we waste our eyes and ears...
The reason is unknown...
stupid people watch stupid people do stupid things and pay for it.... dearly
289 · Feb 2019
Violence
Chris Feb 2019
The difference:
The stupid turn to violence, because they know nothing else.
The desperate turn to violence, because they tried everyyhing else.
I turned to violence, because I was born deranged with a ****** up frontal lobe.
This I think makes me an Idol for the stupid and the desperate.
From a point of view of a deranged criminal, not personal experience, not too far from it, I am non-violent because I get some often enough.
281 · Jan 2019
The Golden Watch
Chris Jan 2019
My watch is made of iron,
Her watch is made of gold,

Now truth be told if they were sold,
Her would fetch a hefty price,
But when telling time, it's the gears inside,
That count and they're always steel, of course.

My gun is made of iron,
His gun is made of gold,

Now, to tell the truth if I could choose,
I'd take his rather, to be real,
But when killing a man you must understand,
The bullet is what seals the deal.

So even with all the advantage,
That gold gives to fat rich swines,
I'm prepared to take my chances with killing men, and telling time.
273 · Jan 2019
Lust
Chris Jan 2019
Turn my water into wine,
Blindly, follow, be obsessed,
I pray for beauty to be mine,
I wish for you to be undressed.

Turn my body inside out,
Crawl and beg, but it's your time,
It's your thighs,your wet pink mouth,
It's my altar, it's your shrine.

Turn my water into dust,
I grind my teeth on marble stairs,
That open my way to lust,
Away from dreams that breed despair.
272 · Mar 2019
Virgo
Chris Mar 2019
If only you could speak, but ...
You were alive and you still couldn't,
If only you could feel but you don't,
and you shouldn't.

If only...

You were not so innocent,
you wouldn't be that blind,
To not see that you are bent,
and ****** from behind.

If only...

You were not so proud,
you wouldn't be that head strong,
and you'd find food in the woods,
and the food would find you, it's where we belong.

If only...

You would **** the child,
You would bite the excrument,
That burns you from inside,
and you would be permanent.

You would be free.
Blessed ******,
You'd be me.
About how innocence, pride and social norms make us prey for corporate fatcats, government and all other vermin.
272 · Mar 2019
Upside down
Chris Mar 2019
The world is upside down,
we did not prepare, we would not believe,
That our time will see a fool that wears the crown,
That the jackboot once again stomps the dreams so free,

The sun and moon will drown,
We refuse to see,
Those who we consider brothers,
Will turn on us with righteous frowns,
That they will cover and devour.

The fear is real and now,
Two horsemen are ready, and they are here,
They make us starve, they make us bow,
Until the other two appear.
The world is upside down.
Trump, Putin, TBA, TBA....
272 · Jan 2019
Dreaming II (nightmare)
Chris Jan 2019
Velvet river slowly flowing,
As the autumn wind is blowing,
Just a glimpse of life it's showing,
Is taking you away,

Tired trees who's solemn sleeping,
Reminds a human soul of weeping,
And a brave, brave paw of rabbit leaping,
will make you into prey.

The green lanes of sunshine winding,
Golden light of city blinding,
The feeling of so gently sliding,
Is marking your own grave.

The rush and rumor ever stirring,
In the cauldron, reassuring,
That flame under you is burning,
Wherever you choose to stray.
This one is about the ugly side of being free.
263 · Feb 2019
Master
Chris Feb 2019
I am no one's master,
Or ever wanna be.
I am free, and you are free.

So take caution if you
follow me.
You are still on your own road,
but still,
I will give you a hand when I ascend,
And I will call you over if you stray.
But you don't have to fall with me.
You chose your own way.
262 · May 2019
Y?olence
Chris May 2019
Fate is another lie
Dominated by old powers
Do,die or deny
It's your world not mine.

Freedom to the grave
No filters can be over
Lens is clear and say
Do not tell me how to behave.

Lock and load
shoot and unwind
the ache is gone
so far behind,
Complete, explode
It's what the hell,
As life erodes,
the bullets tell.

Security a ******* tale,
Normal life with normal norms
Until we're all for sale,
Until the world falls pray,

Violent til the end
No limits or laws or defense
No need to repent
Absolute catharsis began.

Red light go
drive over them
the ache is gone,
next stop deliverance,
Complete, explode,
No lie can show,
What you call-
your innocence,

Just die,
JUST DIE,
JUST DIE!!!!
It's Death Metal...whaddya expecet
262 · Jan 2019
Et Tu, Brute?
Chris Jan 2019
Crooked liars every last,
stinking
one of them,
Snakes in the grass!
To hell I send!

I lasted too long to
feel so wrong,
I smiled too much
to shed
a tear,
I don't want I don't belong!
I don't know fear!

I drank too much to be,
at home,
alone with everyone,
I cry! I crawl, I scream!
The filthy deed is done!

**** homini lupus est!
A carnivorous pest!

Sons and daughters
****** and paupers!

Ad cineram nihil est!
All the claims have been refuted!
Beware the snake, Beware the traitor!
Et tu, Brute?
*First Latin phrase= A man to a man is a wolf
*Second Latin phrase= From ashes comes nothing
*Third Latin phrase=  Even you, Brutus (alleged Caesar's last words)
258 · Feb 2019
Liar
Chris Feb 2019
I'm an *******,and a liar,
but I set your soul on fire.
I'm a cheater, beater, awful man,
And you'd fall for me again.
257 · Jan 2019
Memento
Chris Jan 2019
When one loses the direction,
Or goes a safe way of ignorance,
When the forest thickens
with the trees as reminders.

and as the ravens look down.
There is pity in their wings
the gods of yore have forgotten
the words of eternity.

The rain clouds laugh with thunder,
As the drops of life turn to vapor,
Eyes fill with glimmer, of tears
And the voice calls for me to remember

As we fall!
as we rise!
As we choose the way we die!
As we crave
As we gain
as we drink to dull the pain!

As we cut our way through life
As we bask ourselves in glory
quod vivimus, quod amamus
Memento morri memento morri
.
*Latin phrase means :  As we live, as we love, remember death(or be reminded of death)
257 · Feb 2019
النار
Chris Feb 2019
Walk through walls where nothing is flawed.
Walk because there is no door.
Ask the lips of golden ire to start the sacrificial fire.
Ask because you are desire.

Lye with foes with shining ******.
Lye because that is the door.
Look for planes where man gets slain.
Look because you are The Flame.
*النار = Alnaar, The Fire, *One of the Arabic terms for Hell*
256 · Jan 2020
The Raven King
Chris Jan 2020
Of storm and chaos and desire,
The King shall be born and fed,
Destined to reveal such power,
That's known not to mortal men.

His cradle shall be a shield,
The King shall cry in it alone,
A sword his toddler hand shall wield,
Pain shall be his early throne.

His parents will be his killers,
Poison shall be mothers milk,
Gravestones will be ornate mirrors,
Thorns and iron will be silk.

He'll never know no gold nor kingdom,
He'll never know no woman's love!
His bethrothed a firey demon,
His enemy- God above!

His master shall be The Raven,
Carrying a ring of gold,
It's wings show the only way and,
Keys to the throne of old.

His servants will be all men and women,
Yet no kingdom he will rule,
His courts empty, no one in them,
He's his own squire, page and fool.

The Raven king shall spread his wings,
Yet the blind will call it war,
The storm that his crown will bring,
It brewed in the planet's core.

He'll never rest nor stop ascending,
He'll never know but grief and pain,
But he will be unrelenting,
The King of his soul and his name!
A poem about acheiving one's true potential through hardship
254 · Mar 2019
Harmony
Chris Mar 2019
Is it a name of a stripper?
I can't remember,honestly,
although my hands are on the zipper,
they do not belong to me.

Was it a word that rang through the empty hall?
Those moments are gone,
As I hit the wall,
I never had such fun.

Was it the bird that flew by the window,
The room never looked so bright,
Or the sounding of the bent old willow,
Or a cricket in the night?

Oh how easy I forget,
Once so vivid, lively, *****,
Now with echos of regret
It's just empty melancholy,
Once I knew what it meant.
Now just marble and cement.
*******, **** me...no not right, lets all **** we'll die in 10,9,3,2....
252 · Apr 2019
Serenity
Chris Apr 2019
Every moment, every mind,
All the world is bent and blind.

Heavy tears, free flowing blood,
Putting cruel stars in place.

Every call and every voice,
echoes, nothing but this noise.

0Da pacem Domine,
(I die by your behest)
1Quam tranquilitas,
2Quam serena mors est.

Every human ever made,
All our tears an icy glade.

Stary skies a sea of loss,
We know now, but what a cost.

Every angel every wing,
To hole of thine grave shall sing.

0Da pacem domine
(I live by your command)
3Dictat, sicut Deum
4Verb tuo,obito meum!
The sentences in parentheses are NOT translations, this poem is meant as a text for a song and this marks the backup vocals....
*Translations
0= Give peace o Lord
1=How peaceful
2=Death is
3= As God commands/dictates
4= Your word, my death
250 · Jan 2019
Forget
Chris Jan 2019
Whether you forget them or black birds come an take them,
Whether you forget or they steal it away,
The dreams that kept you going,
Singing and not knowing,
The sun that's always glowing,
And the light of day,
You better forget them or they will fly away.
250 · Jul 2019
Get back in the box, hope.
Chris Jul 2019
Have you ever wondered, where it all began,
Have you ever pondered on where it may go?
Time has one and final, direction of arrival,
And it won’t stop nor change it’s sliding ebon flow.

We have oh so hoped for more and there we strive,
Seems that we were ordered by our genetic code
The wishes have a way, to hurt and betray,
Just as hope climbs atop and threatens to explode.

They say a lot of things to console a child,
They say a lot of things, and most of them lies,
Life has paired with death to teach and correct,
To crush our infant souls but sanctify our minds.

In my final hours when The Silence calls,
I will be the one that’s leaving, not my childish hope,
Those that haven’t passed yet, say that hope dies last,
But I left mine somewhere by the hanging rope.

Great evils have sprung out of the Pandora’s box,
None as vile as last one that posed as a sign,
That one, to this day has filled more empty graves,
Than Satan could’ve dreamed of ‘till the end of time.

Have you ever wondered, where we go from here?
Have you ever questioned the merits of fate?
I have seen and I am smiling, If there aren’t worse things than dying,
How come many chose Valhalla over pain and hate?
Hope is just about the worse thing to grace our psyche.
Check out my poetry at work:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G71IJLtWODc
243 · Jan 2019
The Wishing Well
Chris Jan 2019
I'd love if I could tell,
That I wish you well,

But, (and there's always butts)

Any wish I have to pay for,
I reserve to myself.
243 · Feb 2019
Sad
Chris Feb 2019
Sad
That crying child.
It's me, but I don't cry.
A man grown, It's unseemly.
That bitter man.
It's me, but I still smile.
I hide the ugly misery.
That rotten corpse.
It's me, but I'm alive,
Still kicking and screaming,
But I will taste no victory.
240 · May 2019
Cryin'
Chris May 2019
I won't be cryin' anymore,
Like time and time before,
I've cried my eyes out for thieves, cheats and ******,
and I won't be cryin' anymore.

Don't you ever look into my eyes.
Not even to say goodbye,
If you look, you'll speak and I know you lie,
don't you ever look into my eyes.

'Cause my pain is mine and mine alone,
In time I hope will go,
And it doesn't glow through the smile I show,
No, my pain is mine and mine alone.

And I won't be cryin' anymore,
No matter how low I fall,
With a manic smile I'm entering the storm,
And I won't be crying anymore.
Yeeehaww
238 · Mar 2019
Short
Chris Mar 2019
I am just like a cat's *****:
Short, but painful.
Not a description of my ****, but of my character and looks. One sentence.
232 · Feb 2019
I am a loser
Chris Feb 2019
A killer that has never killed,
Got close but I never did.
A player that don't play the game,
An arrow without bow and aim,
A ****** who can't get laid ,
I'm a *****, but I don't get paid,
A momma's boy that got abused,
A gambler who's got nothing to lose,
A beggar, king most often fool,
I play chess, don't know the rules,
Gotta gun that don't have bullets in,
I'm a sinner but I can't sin,
I play and play but I can't win,
I indulge my every whim,
I done **** and I feel fine,
Didn't have ***** to cross the line,
Kick the head and let him bleed,
Go get ****** and do some ****,
Now I got a job and wife,
It's boring and I hate my life.
I'm a loser with nothing to lose,
I'm a fool  who works for fools.
A mock rap song about my ****** life.
230 · Jul 2019
When
Chris Jul 2019
I wonder every now and then,
Will I see those times again?
Will I thrive or will I fall,
Will I get to try at all?
I wonder every now and then?

I picture deeply with a smile,
A world we're given you and I.
All those ****-ups to correct,
All those people with regrets.
I picture deeply with a sigh.

I dream dreams of sliken tears,
In them you will oft appear,
Only one that still makes sense,
That brings me closer to repent.
I dream dreams of frozen tears.

I wonder every now and then.
Was it all a fairyland?
Did all people, the whole world
Lie and made up a universe,
Where I was born and where I loved
With or without god above,
Where I fell and where I cried,
And was often crucified?
I wonder every now and then.
Check me out :) I wanna feel important.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G71IJLtWODc
229 · Apr 2019
The Blood Tribute
Chris Apr 2019
The calm little town, the green sleepy fields,
The linden wore a flowery crown,
The suns rays in the east, the night comes to yield,
The moon in the sky, it slowly goes down.

As the spring awakens with cold water drops,
A sound in the distance sings of some unrest,
The world seems so distant from the mountain tops,
Something woeful comes for people of the west.

Loud as thunder, quick as sand,
A dozen horses breathing flames,
They have come to quake the lands,
With cloaked horsmen without names.

Growling curses, shouting orders,
In a strange and foreign tongue,
Horsmen rallied unnamed soldiers,
Half a hundred men, and strong.

Doors were shattered, mothers screamed,
Horses made unholy noise,
Daggers blazed and fire gleamed,
As they took the first born boys.

They will train them, tey'll be the same,
Strong as bears and without fear,
They'll lose their home, they'll have no name,
The god wills they carry spears.

One day they will come back,
To the town, where they were born,
To the green fields and they'll attack,
The mothers from whom they were torn.

O, it was many, many a year ago,
And not manyremember,not many care.
And noone really, really knows,
But the linden tree over there.
*The Blood Tribute(danak u krvi)- The Turkish soldiers during a certain time in medieval period took non-Muslim male  children aged (i think) 5-12 and carried them away to become elite soldiers, loyal to the Ottoman empire, this was practiced in order to break people into submission and prevent rebelions. These elite ground troops were known as Janissary and they were fearless and merciless on the field of battle.
226 · Jan 2019
Dreaming
Chris Jan 2019
Wandering and loudly dreaming,
Think I better than believing,
Any stray path, so deceiving,
No matter how brightly clear,

Walking further calm and breathing,
Air so sweet and smoke misleading,
Never shall it spark the meaning,
That so often comes with fear.


Paradise is where I'm striding,
Whether downpour or sun be shining,
And I don't find myself denying,
The cost of my freedoms gleam,

To hell, to fire or to battle,
Towards the snake's tail that rattles,
When the mirror finally shatters,
You too will know, it's just a dream.
225 · Jan 2019
A Dirty Secret
Chris Jan 2019
There's a secret that I keep,
I don't keep it well.
I already told everyone, I mutter when I sleep.
But there's simply too much to tell.

Everyone knows, even my shame,
She also knows and doesn't care,
Everyone hates, but hearing her name,
Makes me wish to bite and tear.

All have heard, and they so think,
They know how deep it goes to rot,
Mouths say words and eyes don't blink,
But understand, they don't.

It's not the secret that I'm obsessed,
It's not the secret, alone, as such,
It's not the secret that I'm depressed,
The secret is: how deep, how much.
224 · Jan 2019
Hall of Hearts
Chris Jan 2019
A kiss before sleep, a sweet song and rest,
as it should be as it always is,
With sweet fingers of fate, the head is undressed,
To bare the dreams that lie beneath.

A river will call to run and to hide,
But her sweet voice is calming and warm,
Sleep sweetest child, soon you will die,
Wake up a man with heart full of storm.

The trail on the floor will guide you to Him,
As many a boy, since and before,
To room full of life yet ****** and dim,
Follow my child the trail on the floor.

The hall of hearts will take you in,
It gives something pretty  in return,
It covers with marble your  pale white skin,
And leaves you to rot in its endless room.

A circle you exit, you never escape,
It will beat, and beat and give no rest,
You will be strong and you will be safe,
And you'll live your life with a hole in your chest.
A reflection on the abuse I endured and may not have survived as a child, heavy with metaphore, don't try to understand, you'll go mad as I did. :)
211 · Jan 2019
Depression
Chris Jan 2019
To cry for help in an empty room,
To slit a wrist with a notebook page,
To try to chase away the gloom,
To try and try, but things don't change.

To live and die not knowing why,
Happiness you never felt,
Lets only your wishes slide,
Into drainpipes of contempt,

To laugh at your own demise,
To let irony build a wall,
To make sarcasm as sharp as lies.
To let hate warm up your soul.

To **** the one for he feels better,
To **** yourself because you're worse,
To not know why you're doomed to shatter,
To truly hate the universe.

To live and die, not knowing when,
The laughter will turn into screams,
And fill your heart with a calming sense,
When my nightmares are your dreams.
208 · Feb 2019
Goodbye
Chris Feb 2019
I won't say goodbye, it will be obvious that I'm gone when I die.
I won't say hello, It will be obvious I'm back, with an empty grave, and me back home.
204 · Jan 2019
The river
Chris Jan 2019
Repeat, repeat, repeat, the river flows,
following the beat.
The drum, the drum the flesh of life,
The skin over it breath of light,
Repeat, repeat, repeat, the river flows still,
following the beat.
The crash the bass the rhythm calls,
It's beating still withing the walls.
Retreat, retreat , retreat, the river dries,
when you're beneath.
The gun, the sword the gleam of knife,
They call and yearn for beat of life.
Go down go down go down, the river flows over,
The child will drown.
The face the smell the pain of want,
The world comes close and comes undone
The heart will beat, bleed drop for drop,
The heart will die, the river stop.
202 · Mar 2019
Welcome
Chris Mar 2019
We've overstayed our welcome,
It is time to leave,
We have seen the sun at its brightest.
Still waiting for a sound of sirens,
To announce the comming ship.

We still stay way past the hour,
of the midnight toll,
We have heard the wind and sea
Still wanting for more,
Before the last plane home.

We drag on and our dear host,
Complaining loudly as she might,
Still let's us linger on and on,
Until that fateful flight,
We're just guests here, be polite.
Just get it man, you're a gay fish.
199 · May 2019
Where is that fucking lamp
Chris May 2019
It was a quiet autumn night,
The world was distorted,
So much sweetness in the air,
A kiss was landed and I was blank.

It was a quiet autumn night,
And I misplaced it,
It's not there,
Where is that ******* lamp.

It was foggy, it was wet,
World was still and time
was numb.

I was drunk and I was a wreck,
The night was warm,
And I was dumb.

The dream never seemed as real,
The touch I miss still to this day.
Where is that ******* lamp?
So I can wish this life away.
Amour....ah..**** IT!!!!!
196 · Jan 2019
Until The Last Drop
Chris Jan 2019
It tears and chokes like brine,
Memories of snuffed freedom and love,
A perfect picture of an ex world.

The eye followed the hand,
and blindly met it's end.

An open wound is bleeding,
Without flesh to go back to,
Without the sink to fall into.

The hand followed the soul,
In to the ancient dream, far over the wall.

On the alter of the crushed dreams,
The drowned man's well,
To my own funeral.

But if nothing else the heart is beating still,
It has always done, and it always will.

Despair will conquer all,
Because it has become powerful,
We brought it the sacrifices:

The deaf blind and the blind cripples all!
The ones who lost their innocent soul.

This is the price!
This is the place!
This is the Sacrifice!

Fight now, ****, spill, until your last breath,
Laugh til the last drop of blood into the face of DEATH!

This is what DEATH is!
This is where it leads!
This is the sacrifice!
Give it what it needs!
193 · May 2019
Tell You
Chris May 2019
You're the  substance of my dreams,
Without you, my nightmares are real,
Let me tell you how it feels,
When love ain't at all what it seems to be,

Sometimes it burns, sometimes it hurts,
We take a lot of awkward turns,
I still carry all the scars,
Buried deep within my starving heart,

The old pills or the new ones,
Doesn't matter at all,
It's the same old dream that
I have dreamed before.

Your emptiness should have released me,
To tear my chains to pieces,
You never saw my hidden stitches,
But the world stopped turning when you kissed me,

Now the name is just a memory,
And my heart a cemetery,
You're there and not yet buried,
Still waiting  for the tears to call.

The old pills or the new ones,
Doesn't matter at all,
It's the same old dream that
I have dreamed before.

The old wounds or the new ones
Doesn't matter at all,
It's the same old blood that
I have cried before.
You know
188 · Feb 2019
Roadkill
Chris Feb 2019
I don't care for the spasm you call a smile,
I don't care if your soul is vile.

I don't care if you're the bitter one,
Who will carve my life undone.

Simple words are spoken only when
you tell the truth,
and only then.

The truth whatever it may be,
Will seldom set you free.
Tell the truth to ones you love,
They curse and throw stones from above,
Tell the truth to wretched foes,
And be cast with waste below.

Simple words are words for men
who love the truth,
and only them.

I don't love you, don't forget,
I love myself, and only that.
I love the way you curl asleep,
I love the lines that run so deep,
I love the face that I want to *****,
True enough, but I don't love you.
186 · Jan 2020
The Fire
Chris Jan 2020
The ****** gallop through my veins,
Vessels boil and start to drain,
I'll take pleasure with the pain,
And I hope I'll go insane.

Her screams echo through the night,
Roaring shrieks that know no end,
Each of them to hearts delight,
Each of them to hearts content.

While you stand and wonder brooding,
Sensless wonder breaks the stale,
A force that defies eluding,
Strong and potent lifts the veil.

As one grasps last straws of mind,
They'll be blown away with storm,
Not a thing be left behind,
When the ground is raised  by horns.

All that matters is the fire,
All to be heard are the shighs,
Flesh and soul quench my desire,
A home between her pale thin thighs.

The ****** gallop through my veins,
Vessels boil and start to drain,
I'll take pleasure with the pain,
A good thing that I am chained.

I will escape.....
A brief introduction to sexuality for noobs :)
168 · Apr 2019
Who I really am...
Chris Apr 2019
I see fragments.
I repair.
Make mistakes, and eat despair.

I crave freedom, I enslave,
I am as shallow as is my grave.

I learn and do and reproduce,
I give and take nothing in return.

I come from my fairy land,
To this ball of sea and sand.

It's a world that makes me sad,
That I wish I didn't understand.
I am reminded of how I don't belong in this dry magicless world of sorrow,
It makes me cry. I weigh like 200lbs and am a man grown with tattoos  a Santa beard. And when I cry it looks just silly.
163 · Feb 2019
Token
Chris Feb 2019
all the wrong words have been spoken,
strikes landed, and left scars open.
I wear it as a charm, a token.

I'm nobody, I am broken.
140 · Feb 2019
Total, Utter Shit
Chris Feb 2019
My life is misery,
If I get it my way my loved ones suffer.
If I don't I'll make them suffer.

— The End —