Torn between two
Does he love me too?
I want to say all I want is you
As the day passes my struggles anew

My thoughts aside from them are few
My heart is not being true
I admit, it leaves me feeling blue
Yet they both make me feel brand new

Thinking about who to choose is all I ever do
Being near either of them sends my mind askew
They stick to me like glue
Unfortunately, nothing can help me choose…

i used your love letter to spit out my gum

I wish you could see me behind the screen
Who I really was, who I really am
If I could see you face to face
Know more than just your name
We could be friends in real life
But you're hundreds of miles away
So I'll dream of meeting you one day

Ah, February
It is the month of love, and
Total rejection

He's a fire
A burning flame of passion
But I'm a rock
I'm sorry, but I'll never catch

As a child, I idolized one day getting a license
Now I'm 17 in a red '94 convertible with the top down, loving
How it feels when my metal daisies pull my ears from the force of wind
I like the adrenaline rush I get when I can scream because no one is around
And that I don't have to feel bad for not talking to anybody
I like the way my car shakes when I blast the volume to 35
Or when I push it faster faster faster than it should go
I like the stick on my skin because of the North Carolina humidity
When I reach my arm out of the window, leaning toward a stranger
Summer's almost over, but I just want more time following the sunset home
On the open road

I taught myself to believe
That you were better than that
That you were not the guy everyone told me you were

I taught myself to believe
That you're mistakes were not the usual you
That you were actually really nice

I taught myself to believe
That you were a genuine boy
And when push came to shove, you cared about me

I taught myself to believe
That you were perfect
And that everything would be wonderful if I could call you mine

But after all that teaching
I learned that I was wrong

Numb
Beating my head like a pounding drum
Numb
Not stupid, not dumb
Just numb
Nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs
Numb
I'm so done
Numb
It's grown to an awful hum
All I am is Numb

Lips that have never been kissed
Hair that's never been brushed back
Cheeks that have never been caressed
Hands that have never been held

Yes, I know I dont need a boy
But it gets kind of lonely

What a world I live in
To experience emotions as powerfully as I do

My sadness is not an ache in my heart
With mascara tracks running down
It is deep, mournful, body-shaking sobs
Oceans of clear tears streaming from reddened green eyes

My anger is not a flickering flame of annoyance
Nor a clenched body needing a release
But an entirely enveloping wildfire
Blinding me from reason and logic

And neither is my love just comfort
Or a desire to care and be cared for
But a presence that encapsulates every thought
Every movement, every moment, defined by desire

Oh, it is a poet's dream
And a woman's curse

They see a girl, who
Is confident in herself
But really, she's scared

I wish silence was a sound
Then my thoughts could finally be drowned

The cool girls curl their hair
The cool girls wear makeup
The cool girls wear tight clothes
The cool girls have boyfriends
The cool girls swear
The cool girls are thin
Why can't I be a cool girl?

I don't understand
Because it's just not fair
I work so hard all the time
And there is so much stress for me
Constantly studying
Staying up late to do homework
That high schoolers do
And yet they seem upset when I get a B
And brush off all my A+
My sister get's a C and a pat on the head
Now can someone explain that to me?

Misunderstood
Unchangeable
Unstoppable
Miraculous
Beautiful
Belie­ver
Fragile
Friend
Loved
Same
Her
Me

Hoping you will look at me
The way I look at you
Wishing you think of me
As much as I think of you
Praying you want me
As much as I want you

If everyone wants me to be perfect
Why don’t they show me how?

If I sit in a corner, they all think I'm sad
Fine, whatever
If I'd rather stay in my room, they all think I'm moody
I'm growing sick of this
If I don't feel like talking, they say "Oh, she's a teen"
Can you please stop?
Maybe I actually don't like it when you make assumptions about me
So as much as I love you,
Leave me be
Can't I just sit around and... normal?

I am the deer
Large shimmering eyes and slender limbs
A fawn with spots still on
Like the baby’s breath of the meadow in which I lay
Mocha fur shining in the morning sunlight
Face wet with dew from the chill of night

I am the deer
Mangled on the side of the road
Intestines on display for the vultures above
Legs twisted into a sick jigsaw puzzle
Killed by the man who worries about the machine
And drives away with apathy unwavering

I am the woman
Long, toned legs
Striding down a city sidewalk, wind in her hair
A statue, a monolith, an icon
Like a being carved from polished marble from the raw earth
A face of beauty incarnate

I am the woman
A dismembered body with DNA foreign to herself
Lying in a lake, the soil, a vat of oil
The threads of clothing cut too short like Fate’s own hemline
Killed by the man and his ego who worries if blood washes out
And walks away with apathy unwavering

It is a tragedy as old as time
That Mother Nature birthed daughters

It is never enough
There is a piece missing from every aspect of myself
A sliver of beauty, a slice of intelligence, a portion of strength
That I so desperately want to acquire
With hands too unsteady for Da Vinci and a voice too weak for Houston
I pull apart words and smash them back together in Play-Doh poetry
I see this technicolor world and want to put it into film
But my vocabulary is too juvenile and the style too amateur
My metaphors are recognizable on all levels, the depth of a kiddie pool
To read the works of Shelley and Milton and Dante light this flame
That burns in anger at my own futile words, a seething disappointment
The greats, the classics, all I could ever read, and all I could never be
Each poem that I write lets me down, far too short and far too simple
My own words could never capture the essence of what I want to say
Who I want to be
It is never enough
But I will keep trying

Do the malevolent poltergeists of my past haunt your benevolent spirit?
When I ride through my ghost-towns like an old west gunslinger,
Will the ricochets shatter your fragile glass house?
If I slash through phantom limbs, is it your blood that I spill on the altar of revenge?
Do all the periods of falling leaves and sundowns I spend at the graveyard
Will away the only real wisps of life I know?

Even though he hates her
She'll always love him

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made me feel worthless
But I'll be the bigger person
And say I don't want you to be too

You said I was your answered prayers
You said I was the best girl in the world
You said I was the best thing you could have asked for
Well, now it's my turn.

You are the light in my world.
You make all the bad days the best days ever.
You were the answer to every question I thought of.
You are the peace when I can not sleep.
You are the one thing that can make me smile when I hurt.
You make every day worth living.
You are why I look back at my past and think it was all worth it.
Nothing in this world is like you.

Like a new flower
Love might go unnoticed, but
It's bloom is gorgeous

Does my age affect how people think of what I do?
Do my looks alter what people think of my personality?
If I tell them my beliefs, would they hate me?
Can simply my gender change what something could have been?
Does my outward distract from my soul?

I love that song
Not because of the beat
But the day we found it together
Just trying to hide from the heat

The feeling of not knowing what you’re writing
Because all of your feelings simply pour out the words

"I'm fine,"
Is a lie
Because you left me
Dying inside

She’s my sunshine
She’s my love
She’s my fighter
My inner peace, my dove

She’s my supporter
She’s my answer
She’s my listener
I couldn’t live without her

She’s my protector
She’s my inspiration
She’s my forgiver
Yeah, she’s a sensation

She’s my healer
She’s my new day
Without her
I wouldn’t be who I am today

You pulled your gun
But I'll pull the trigger
You thought I weak
I guess that's what you figured
You were big
But now I'm bigger

I'm falling for you
But you only see me as
Your sisters best friend

Every time I drink from that bottle you gave me,
I think of you
Every time I meet someone with your name,
I think of you
Every time I look at yearbooks,
I think of you

Every time I talk with my friends,
I think of you
Every time your best friend texts me,
I think of you
Every time I try to move on,
I still think of you

I'm good at making
Friends, but I'm even better
At losing them all

They smelled of coffee and tobacco
          But not in a poetic way
          The way that makes me want to
          get away from you
I can smell the addiction in your breath

Blonde hair
Green eyes
Fireworks shooting
On a humid July night

She was raised this way
Doesn't need all that money
She'll shine the brightest tonight
She's an American honey

I’m tired
Tired of the lies
Tired of the pretending
Tired of the acting
And the show that you put on
You try to cover up your darkness
When I already know what’s inside
You tell me of all the good things
And then you turn yourself around
I’m tired of the teasing
Tired of the persona’s
Tired of the hiding
Tired of secrets
I tired of being tired

Torn out
Tightly yet intricately woven
Pulled up high
Half-dead
Twisted
Excessively washed, cleaned, and dried
Straightened
Fried
Surprised it hasn't all fallen out yet

I fell in love with you
From across the table

When I saw that pic
Of us, all I wanted to
Do was shred the thing