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Jul 2020 · 426
I have a strange mind
Letters from Lia Jul 2020
I have a strange mind —
It only remembers things
that are too cold
and tragic

I have a strange mind —
It only remembers misery,
grief and torments

In my sleep
my mind only gives me
ceaseless nightmares

Sometimes my mind
would go on a quest
in search of a speck
of hope
only for it to get lost

Sometimes my mind
creates moments of bliss
but I can only see
void
or maybe
there's really nothing to see.

I have a strange mind
and I'm starting to wonder
maybe my mind
can only recall moments
that are real.
Siin.li

When can I taste a bit of happiness?
Apr 2020 · 258
Remember Me
Letters from Lia Apr 2020
To you who whip through your pain,

Remember that your mind is abounding,
It is  mesmerizing
that when you start to talk about your ideas,
it's like your wondrous mind is pulling me
inside this enormous galaxy,
not a mere galaxy that is empty
instead it is full of heavenly bodies
and colors and life.
I fly in comfort,
I feel weightless.
When you talk about your dreams,
I can picture you collecting the stardust
and making a life out of it
Your eyes speaks like an abstract
of meteor showers
and comets
and auroras,
painted in one great canvas.
The more I explore into it,
the more I could understand
the rhythm of your thoughts.
If you're thinking
that your life had fallen apart;
Remember me,
me who you shared your light and hope with,
You came to me like a shooting star, 
So rare yet so beautiful.
Siin.li

Remember me, who you shared your light and hope with.
May 2019 · 903
Dreaming
Letters from Lia May 2019
I ask for galaxies and stars
I long for the moonlight and the night sky
This is loneliness
I even wish for the impossible
I dream of getting something so high
But these are the desires of my heart
This is where my soul wanders when I am asleep
And dreaming is the easiest way to get there.
siin.li

What can I do but to dream?
Feb 2019 · 690
One Last Time
Letters from Lia Feb 2019
My heart aches
to the sound of you,
laughing
where it is melody
in my ears
My heart aches
to the sound of you,
laughing
because I was once
the subject
of the perfect rythm
of your laugh
I badly want to be
the muse
of your laughter
once again
The surge
of my guilt and regret
is so loud
that it's making me deaf
My heart aches
to the sound of you
Let me hear it
One last time
Take me back

Siin.li
Dec 2018 · 1.1k
Our Gallery
Letters from Lia Dec 2018
I burned our
old photographs,
it fell down
like dried leaves
in the autumn
The classic
gallery of our
love that was
once fascinating
became a
tedious one
The once white
walls and
clean corners
Are now dusty
and dark
The perfectly
carved frames,
and perfect
shots
became dull
and lifeless
You left me
knowing that
I won't survive
alone inside this
***** walls
Picture me
in your mind
And you'll see
the saddest photo
there will ever be
siin.li
Dec 2018 · 331
Poison
Letters from Lia Dec 2018
Is this your game
Is this a poison you inject
In my blood
It's consuming me
I thought I am strong enough
To hold this
But I disappointed myself
I'm struggling
Deny it
Forget it
Stop it
Too late
Your poison exploded
All the words in me came out
But it was not about me
All the words were about you
About us
Siin.li
Dec 2018 · 804
Liar
Letters from Lia Dec 2018
Dry lips
Gnashing teeth;
All the words
that come out
of it
are lies,
His words
are dusky and
beasty-
there's rage
and no sign
of guilt
Like it was kept
for a long time,
His heart
is a dark
hidden sanctuary
with cast off
memories
and lifeless
moments;
He is a liar
To lie is what he's good at

Siin.li
Dec 2018 · 386
Little Hope
Letters from Lia Dec 2018
As I close my eyes
Darkness starts to fill every spaces
I can barely recognize the colors
that are present
But there, a little spot of light I can feel
Like a dazzling hope in the vast emptiness
It's hovering around
Wavering alone.
We all have that one light as we close our eyes, look at it, own it, embrace it. It's there, it's always been there.
Dec 2018 · 515
Come Home
Letters from Lia Dec 2018
I'm lying if I insist
that I never loved you
I'm lying if I say
that I wasn't happy
when we held hands
I'm lying if I deny
that I'm still
wishing for your
comeback
Just please
Come home, my love
For all the fragile hearts that were left broken and still waiting
Nov 2018 · 376
Ignorance
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
I fell
and no one's there to save me
I'm falling so deeply
but your eyes never even lie on me

I'm broke
shattered and alone
I am in oblivion
but again you'll never know

I cried
so loud and full of tears
though I pour out my heart's burden,
guess I am still forgotten

I screamed
like I am in deep crevice
You were reached by my voice
still you walk away with your ears closed
This was written 2 years ago. I just found this recently.

siin.li
Nov 2018 · 609
Love Paranoia
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
When the fire
that used to ignite
our hearts burns out,
Would you still
caress my skin?

When the moon
that used to shine
for us vanish,
Would you still
look at me
as a your own?

When all the constellations
that used to be
the a sign of our love
hide behind the clouds,
Would you still
kiss me?

When all the lights
that we used to stare at
all died down,
Would you still embrace
my frail soul?

When all of this happened,
When everything that
makes us so happy
went wrong,
My love, am I thinking
too deep?
My love, answer me,
Would you stay?
—am i thinking too far?
siin.li
Nov 2018 · 585
Lost Cause
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
I break things
I hurt people
I delete words
I keep secrets
Its because
I am frightened
Its because
I grew up
knowing that
these things
can conceal
my feelings
—I am a lost cause
siin.li
Nov 2018 · 407
To the man who loved
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
Like a wilting plant he became a limp
But he fought
He fought the heavy burdens
Like a traveler
He lost his way to the heart
of the woman he love
He was blinded
He was crippled
But again he fought
Things were too complex to be solved
Things are too hard to understand
But the love will last
And the moments will embed in his heart
siin.li
Nov 2018 · 345
To the woman who loved
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
Her love was too big for his man
"She is a masterpiece" he stated
Out of all the women he loved
She was the elite
She was the paint in his canvas
They look good together
They make art together
But things were hard
The pain was there
The paint was washed out
through the canvas
She left, carrying all the colors
And the canvas was left waiting
They thought
"We had our time"
Nov 2018 · 6.3k
They will all fall
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
We are all victims
of failed society
They criticize
They hate
They judge
and we all just
stood there
crying,
tired,
and broken.
We are too numb
to feel,
We pretend to be deaf
about what they say,
We stay blind
of the things they did,
We are the outcast
of this broken world,
We remain silent
creating our own
vast world within
our enormous
minds—There,
we stand
taller than towers
There, our inner voices
speak the loudest
There, our sight
and imagination
is boundless.
I said
"someday
they will
all fall, and
I'd be too
oblivious to hear
all of their screams"
—they made me like this.
Siin.li
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
I've taken sleeping pills
So I can close my eyes
And dream about you
So I can rest and sense your
presence next to me
So I can dream of what
we could be
So my mind can wonder
and find you
So I can hold your hand
and embrace you
I've taken sleeping pills
For this will be the closest
I'd get to you
Because us, being one
Is just a possibility
—i just love you, im going mad

siin.li
Nov 2018 · 619
I'll be waiting
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
One day I met you
Everything was perfect
The sun met its horizon
The bird landed on its nest
The wind blew past the trees
The leaves kissed the ground
The waves roared
Everything was perfect
And I thought we were
in the right setting
But then I realized
not everything can be
perfect at once
But I'll be waiting
for our timing
—i'll be waiting for our timing

siin.li
Nov 2018 · 281
Lost In You
Letters from Lia Nov 2018
I admire how your light
Cast shadows in my heart
Like an endless poetry
Or a prose that may be.
Like a spark of light
in a wide oblivion
Take me to the muse
of your words
Take me to your
boundless thoughts
Let's get lost
to the wonders, and
fantasies of our hearts.
Let's get lost
to our words, and
desires.
Let's get lost
And never come back.
—Take me

siin.li
Oct 2018 · 407
Jaded
Letters from Lia Oct 2018
When your soul gets jaded
Grief and despair comsumes you
Your heart longs for a love and
attention and safekeeping
Let your heart unwind
Let the massive cloud of your thoughts
and traces of brokenness be erased
Let the serenity take over
For life yearns a glimpse of you
—a poetry for a sad hooman
siin.li
Oct 2018 · 714
The Irony of my Heart
Letters from Lia Oct 2018
I thought my barriers were too high
I was certain that it will not fall
I guarded my heart
It was locked and kept
I buried it six feet under the ground
I hid it where nobody can find it
I considered it dead

But little did I know
It was me who broke down my wall
It was me who dug my heart
It was me who offered my dead cold heart

It was funny he kept it
Oh no
It was funny to think that he'd keep it
He clutched my heart and I lost my breath
Isn't it ironic, how he killed my dead heart?
It was funny, I am certain.
I thought I was numb but ****, it ******* hurts
—you don't need to know
siin_li
Oct 2018 · 444
Drown
Letters from Lia Oct 2018
Your love for your man was like an ocean
Its getting deeper
Every time you sail to see his wonders
You thought you were safe
You thought you could swim
Until the storm came
The waves came running
Thunders rumbling
It destroyed your boat
You fell
And again you thought you were safe
You thought "I trust him, I will not drown"
But slowly, bit by bit
You didn't know
You were devoured by this love
You thought it was beautiful
You thought there were beautiful corals
You thought there were colorful fishes
But all you saw was thick muds
On the ocean floor
You reached the abyss
Dark crevices hovered around you
You got scared
You swam back
Trying to reach the surface
You swam back
Wishing to breathe again
But his gravity pushed you down
Your body became numb
You can't swim anymore
Your prescence disappeared
Your soul turned into words—"My love, I fought. I tried. But I'm weak and I drowned"
—dedicated to broken hearts
siin_li
Oct 2018 · 1.5k
Crippled
Letters from Lia Oct 2018
She was broken, by herself
Not knowing the cost of what she did
Its hunting her, just like  her shadow
It is consuming her soul
Despite of all the run and escape, she will always be caught
She wished her death once, but the demons won't let it
She is suffering by her own, gripping on no one
She is standing on her feet by her own but she is now crippled by herself
—i was her
siin.li
Oct 2018 · 600
You are free
Letters from Lia Oct 2018
Under the shining little lights glued upon the dark sky I rest my soul through the relaxing sand wrapping me up. While the blinding full moon is hearing me silently, enlightning me from within. The dancing cold waves are kissing my bare feet, reaching the hem of my dress. The relief reached my soul as the howling wind surrounds and hovers around me and through my ear it whispers "you are free"
—silence comforts me
siin.li
Sep 2018 · 377
What Are We?
Letters from Lia Sep 2018
I think of the day where us exists
I think of the time you recognize me
I think of the ways I can make you happy
I think of the things we can do together
I think all of this everyday
And it makes me sad
"what are we?"
—My love, look at me, I'm waiting
siin.li
Sep 2018 · 457
Come and Stay
Letters from Lia Sep 2018
Everyday I hope for your attention
Just like how a flower is patiently waiting for its right bee

Every single time I hear the beat of my heart when I think of you
Like the tick and the tock of the clock constant and continuous

You are the hope, the love I long for
You are my fall, my winter and all the seasons in one
I expect you to come and never leave.
"My love, come and stay, please"
—to the man I hope to be with.
siin.li
Aug 2018 · 478
With You
Letters from Lia Aug 2018
A day with you is indescribably perfect.
Even the birds flies geometrically aligned with the neatly painted sky.
I am undoubtedly in love with your voice
I am lost within the galaxies of your eyes, its devouring my soul.
I am awakaned by every blink of your eyes
The way you hold my hand sends shiver through the tiniest nerve of my spine, sprinting as if the energies you gave me are having their own race.
I fell in love with your quiet whispers, the way you let out the words 'I love you' it's killing me.
Im stealing glances examining you like a science experiment thinking how could you be so perfect?
I can feel your words through your kisses, it's a lifeline keeping me alive
With your arms wrapped around me feels like I am in the safest place, its your paradise where everything is in its own place
Being with you feels like time doesn't exist— it feels like forever.
—the man I will never be with
siin.li
Aug 2018 · 602
Selfless
Letters from Lia Aug 2018
You are so strong that you choose to ignore your pain, you always look at the brighter side and live with it.

Yet sometimes you get tired. You cry to sleep, you feel alone and hurt. Your thoughts are eating you up that you think you are drowning alone in it. You keep your words and feelings for yourself, you keep them until you're full of them, that sometimes you fail to control them, they come out as silent tears.

You care too much that you choose to forget yourself.
—a note for my precious friend
siin_li
Jul 2018 · 4.2k
This is you
Letters from Lia Jul 2018
"The first time I met you, you smiled,
That's when I thought you were special.
The first time we talked, you smiled,
That's when I knew you were a friend.

It's not about when
It's not about  how long
It's about every little moments that made us happy,
It's about every bizzare things we've shared.

You are a part of who I am now,
You'll always and forever be.
You are one of the best stars in my night sky,
Even when we're apart you will still shine.

This is who you are to me— you are the pouring rain that makes me glad
You are a drizzling crystal that touches our hearts
You send us sunshine everytime you smile
You are a rainbow, so rare yet so wonderful"
—this is a poem dedicated to a friend.
siin_li
May 2018 · 366
Castaway
Letters from Lia May 2018
I saw the tears trickled down his face
Just like a spared crystal
Unrecognized.
I saw his fist, trembling
As if he clutched his own heart inside it
Shattered.
I saw his lips, shaking
As if he can't let out even a single sigh
Unheard.
I saw his love
Like a moon
It's a Castaway.
May 2018 · 353
Stay
Letters from Lia May 2018
I wish it is an endless sidewalk
So I can make every step out of it
I wish the rain won't stop
So the droplets will keep touching my skin
I wish the breeze stick around
So I won't stop breathing
I wish the cold wind keep blowing
So it can whisper through my ears
I wish you stay
So I can live forever
Please leave any comments or suggestions if you like my poem. Thank You.
May 2018 · 850
Alone
Letters from Lia May 2018
She was blinded by everything
She is in the abyss of her thoughts
She is sinking and drowning

She cried so hard that she lost her voice
She cried trying to escape her own agony and pain
She imprisoned herself in the her own chains

She is trapped between her own nightmare and daydream
She is confused by the light and the darkness
She is in the middle of a boundless maze, lost and nowhere to go

She let herself be devoured by suffering and  endless torture, be paralyzed by it
She can neither move nor speak

She is alone.
May 2018 · 3.0k
Sleep tight
Letters from Lia May 2018
Sleep tight.
Let yourself dream
Feel it until you're drawn into it
Settle in the arms that's holding you
Let him kiss your temple and caress your skin
Forget about the world, live and love

Close your eyes.
Let him whisper the words
Hear him out, hear his undying love
Let him embrace your soul
He love you

Rest yourself in the arms of the man who found you.

— The End —