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May 2015 · 761
Tun Up, Get Down
Rhianecdote May 2015
In the early hours
Sat here deciding
That I'm no longer gonna drink.
I don't feel hungover
I don't feel sick
But the low is really not worth it
And it's bad
It'*****

Very much like I coulda been
last night if things had taken
a different turn
Albeit an unjustified
and unnecessary one.
Undoubtedly why I'm feeling so glum

Caused by "girls"
who can't handle their drink
that would knock
you the **** out if you
looked at them wrong.
Yeah those ones

Putting me on the defence,
Making ****** comments.
Callin me a ponse
Cause they think my friend
Keeps throwing money behind the bar
While we all stand back and let her
But they're wrong.
I don't think that I've ever been
questioned on my generosity
Mainly cause no one
in that regard
has a leg to stand on.

And the fact that my sister
felt the need
to take me to one side and tell me
what they had to say
in the bathroom baffles me.
I try not to read into it
too much cause she's tipsy,
but you're making a point about something and I wonder what is the need?
I haven't felt this uncomfortable
and angry since I was a teen
When I had to deal with
your dumb friends then
and their jealousy.
So quit it,
I'm too old for this ****.

I wonder if it had kicked off,
Would you have backed me?
The fact that I'm not so sure
Has me questioning loyalties.

Cause it got my back up.
It killed my vibe dead.
In fact at that point I would have left
But the only reason I'm here in the first place is for my friend
Yeah you've thrown this
surprise birthday for her,
that you clearly want recognition for,
And it's nice
But you've known her for five minutes
I've known her for life
So relax before you twist in the knife
You know nothing

Got me thinking
when did peoples opinions
that don't matter
start mattering to me again?
Why did I feel like I
somehow had to make amends?
Are these really people I wanna call friends?
And would this scenario have played out any different minus the drink?

Did that one bad vibe skew my perception of that night onwards
Cause I swear these girls were slyly tryin
to hot me up as only females do
That bitchiness wrapped up in banter
but my gut knew
When that lil voice in my head took an inhale of breath and went "ooo"
Backed up by the realest one, the one I like, tellin em to back off
Girls thinkin they're fine cause they got back off, but girls need to back off
cause their attitude stinks,
grown *** women should know better
but oh no they didn't!

Shotting looks at you when you walk off to go talk and dance with the guys.
And they wonder why?
Reminds me why I prefer male company
at times
Cause sometimes they're no better.

When did all this insecurity
creep back up on me?
I think I really need to reevaluate the company I keep.
You know what gets me,
less than a year ago this wouldn't have even bothered me.

It's funny cause less than a year ago,
I didn't drink or party,
it just didn't appeal to me.
I contemplate the reason why I started cause this is far from being carefree.
When you're starting to relate to those who will stand on the edge
of Waterloo Bridge
to test the waters
you're far from happy.
So I stop and think...

**And I know It's definitely time
to stop the drink.
Insecurity and alcohol is just a bad combination all round.
Depression and alcohol is a no go

I'm not good with hate, especially unjustified hate which to be fair most of it is.
May 2015 · 560
Mortal Cynicism
Rhianecdote May 2015
Me a pessimist?

Haha! You mistake me my friend

What I am is an *idealist


That has been met with great disappointment
As all idealists must... Or do we?

I don't believe that I will ever  change in that regard tbh, no matter what happens I will probably be a wishful thinker to the end.

Mortal Cynicism, Immortal Ideals
May 2015 · 641
Lonely Hearts Column
Rhianecdote May 2015
Why is everybody so lonely?*

Reaching out online for someone to understand

But can they hold your hand?

Like I can

Give you a hug with the up most sincerity?

Like me

Can you really recreate that intimacy

Without physical Reciprocity

Or is it all just fantasy?


And yeah maybe

One day you'll meet

But will it just be a novelty

Once you Wipe away the allure of anonymity

Where you can disappear or project with ease

Cause were you even there in the first place

Did you really want to be seen?


And I ask myself

Why is everybody so lonely?

Dismissing all around them with ease

Too afraid to speak

Keeping those in reality at proxy

Serving what need?

The right to anonymity

Cause I don't think you really wanna be seen

True Bonds are too risky

Rather shun that responsibility

In case they leave

Or you want to.


And you wonder

Why everybody is so lonely

When Social interaction has become so empty

People with an inability to truly listen or speak

Cause they're too busy

Heads bowed down to mobile technology

World wide web retreat

Was my guy Jamiroquai right!

Is the Future made of Virtual insanity?

Cause if we're all so connected

Then why is everybody so lonely?



**Cause they choose to be.
In my humble opinion I really don't think that you can beat face to face interaction, I believe that there's something lost when we become detached from this. Its a worry of mine that this fundamental of being a social being is rapidly becoming lost. Social media can be an incredibly anti social phenomenon. I don't know about anyone else but I strive to stay truly connected to those and that around me, anything less in my eyes is a disservice and quite frankly isolating territory.
Rhianecdote May 2015
You wasn't there for me

In truth I don't make it easy


You wasn't there for me

In all honesty I didn't expect you to be


You wasn't there for me

And part of me really wished you woulda been


You wasn't there for me

But I'm starting to believe that I didn't need you to be


Cause when was you there for me?

When it suited your needs?

When was you there for me?

You wasn't
"Where was Gondor?!" King Theodon rant style XD
Hey **, what's the point in getting bogged down by perceived losses or let downs when you've got the Riders of Rohan! I mean a lot going for ya :P
May 2015 · 809
Butterflies and Slander
Rhianecdote May 2015
When I see you
          I still get butterflies
          And not in a good sense
            Not like the beginning
          Now they're rotting
      Festering deep within
  Desperate to escape
Like mental patients
From the asylum
   Consigned under false pretence
           Cause there's no love here
                          
                           **Just fear
May 2015 · 1.3k
Keep Calm and Coupon
Rhianecdote May 2015
You and I

Are like faded vouchers.

**No matter what they say

We are Redeemable
You can vouch(er) on that!
May 2015 · 5.9k
Not Accept-Able
Rhianecdote May 2015
I'm asking you to accept
something that I cannot

Me at my best
AND
Me at my worst

To be honest you just can't win

But I spose Hearts aren't to be Won

Hearts are to be Given


I'm not good at taking compliments nor criticism... good luck! XD I kid, hopefully I'll learn how to be more gracious in time, it's a working progress...which is more than can be said for many in this economy
May 2015 · 1.4k
Disembowel Movement
Rhianecdote May 2015
Sitting in the gutter
Cause its the only place to see
What guts are

Wondering does anybody
Fight for anything
Anymore?

Cause I don't see it

I see people walking past
Opportunity
Walking away from things
With ease
Cold feet
Treading cautiously
Feeding doubts fire
Going about Life so passively

But Hold up let's join a cause!

Direct our anger
Politically, racially,
at poverty and inequality
Donate some money
Rant constantly about
Overturning regimes
Then retreat back to apathy
Woe is me!

Bleeding hearts in their masses
Floating past me
In the gutter
Cause its the only place to see
what guts are...
And hearts
Cause no one has heart anymore

Where is the love?
Where is the passion?
The courage and the loyalty?
All Going about life so Half heartedly
And what can you do with half a heart?

Give it to Me

Cause as I'm sat here
Reading entrails like some gypsy
Passing judgement on you
A poor reflection on me

It seems I lost mine

So I embrace the pain
that migrates from
an empty chest to
A swelling stomach

Lift myself up from that gutter
And feel what guts are
Take half that heart
And see how far it'll take me...

**To make it whole
And think ****, I best get some Rennies on my way past the shop :P
May 2015 · 1.2k
Day to Unite
Rhianecdote May 2015
Forever Endeavour
Our *Women
, Our Men

Together Endeavour
from Days Dawn to Days *
End
May 2015 · 1.1k
Don't Push me
Rhianecdote May 2015
When my Dad used to come up in my face
And smile at me As a baby
I used to push him away
Give me my space
Jheez!

And at aged 3 when I used to rest my head
On lil blondies shoulder as we watched tv
In nursery
He  would push me off constantly,
First taste of rejection
Jheez!

And as a pre teen
When that little **** Esteban was showin off and being mean
Got my brother in a headlock till he couldn't breath
Grabbed him off, pushed him over a wall as I screamed even though he was older and much bigger than me
Made me so angry!
First time I laid hands on someone in defence of my family
Haven't had to do it since, thankfully
Shock of me switching actually made him come up after and say sorry
Jheez!

As a Teen, chillin in the park, all sunny
When this lil kid who looks half asleep
Cycling in his dressing gown
comes up to me
Asking if I wanna buy some ****
Pushing drugs?!
Someone should be pushing him on a ****** swing , he's only a baby!
Makes my heart bleed
Jheez!

And every ****** mornin
As I'm getting to where I need to be
Getting pushed onto this train
By impatient imbeciles
When there is no need
There's another one comin in 3!
So why am I hovering under someones smelly armpit all awkwardly?
Jheez!

**All this pushing, all this pulling
this game of tug of war,
really puts me on ****** edge,
I really can't take no more.
But city life is city life
Jheezus you know the score!
Don't push me cause I'm close to the Edge!
May 2015 · 1.1k
Chain Gang
Rhianecdote May 2015
Pain gets passed along a chain,
from You to Me
from Me to Him
and now we're all sat here
upset for the same reason.
But this wasn't the bonds i hoped for
or the ties I wished to make or keep.
Try to break the cycle,
but apologies just won't cut it,
for goodness sake, too weak

She couldn't love You,
You couldn't love Me,
I couldn't love Him.
Don't you wish you could
go back to the beginning?
But where do you start in a circle?
A ring has no beginning or ending
it's everlasting,
that's why it's a symbol for Love,
so if I can't exchange it
maybe in verse I can
inverse all of the above

He loved Me,
I loved You
and You loved Her
and loves a beautiful thing,
and I hope one day soon
we'll all be able to
love ourselves too,
truely deep within
and on that day perhaps
this chain will cut us some slack,
we'll be facing the right way
and will be able to see Love
and give it back.
Cause the thing about chains,
they can run either way,
joy gets passed along too
during happier days
and they will come,
surely as this chain
remains undone.

**Name's Bond, Chains Bond
If I possessed the patience, vision and prowess of some of the concrete poets on here (Ryn anyone?) I would have liked to have written this in a chain or cycle formation alas i probably would have dashed my phone out of the window by now in sheer frustration. Haha so use your imagination and maybe some mind altering drugs kids!
May 2015 · 680
Cast Away
Rhianecdote May 2015
I know I cared
I'm sure I did
For it had to exist
For me to now feel the absence of it

It's hard not to lose sight in pain
When it seemed any gain came at a loss
Looking at what remains
Weighing up your kind nature as its cost

Used to be someone you could call upon
But now I'll turn you away
Outrightly tell you to *******
Cause I have nothing left to say

And it hurts me

In fact today it made me feel ashamed

Yet I still maintain I need some space

Lone wolf creation, a one horse race

But when a nation
Becomes isolationist
You better hope those bonds within
Don't come loose or snap
Cause when a nation
Becomes isolationist
There might be no coming back...

**Together

Forever, Endeavour, Our Women, Our Men

Cast Away the Pain or become a Cast Away in Pain

Again and Again
I remember watchin Child of our Time a while ago. Basically its a documentary headed by Professor Robert Winston (not the cockney bloke think Groucho Marx) that has followed several children from birth trying to discover the secrets of nature vs nurture in shaping personality. In one episode they were following a little girl and showed how the most sensitive, empathetic and caring in the bunch, over time had turned out to become the most matter of fact and the explanation was that they had been met with such disappointment and upset through their kind nature that as a means of self preservation it had now rendered them kinda cold at such a young age. Anyhu it stuck with me, not only cause I can relate, (I was that kid, in fact I think we share the same name) but because it made me sad. If you care a lot sometimes that means you're gonna hurt a lot but I don't feel that caring is ever a bad trait, I think in life we just need to discover the balance of what we should and shouldn't care so much about.

I'd like to believe that the true essence of that little girl and her kind nature very much still remains...
May 2015 · 486
Directors Cut
Rhianecdote May 2015
I look around me and all I see
Are complexities
People that increasingly
Confuse or frustrate me
I just don't know what they want from me
I just know that this is not where I want to be
Tryin to maintain sanity
On the cheap
So who do I say goodbye to
Who do I keep?

Stick with stuck people
And you'll end up nowhere
And yeah it may sound unfair
But it's true
Its true to me, it's true to you
Leave behind
Or get left behind

But in this you can trust

If I've got love for you
I'll come back for you
Or better yet
I'll turn round to see
You've already caught up
Dang! I actually wrote the first verse to this near on a year ago, just goes to show how long this has played on my mind. It could just be depression talking but My dislike and frustration with people is very much hitting its peak at this moment in time and I'm well aware that it's linked to the frustration I have in myself. Its hard when you're surrounded by good people, one's that you care for but they have no motivation or direction, the added apathy just kills my spirit and at this point the only responsibility I can take is for myself. Its a deep one cause I'm pretty sure that I've been left for the same reasons, but in all honesty I can't even begrudge anyone that. You've gotta do what's best for you and who knows maybe serve as some inspiration or catalyst for change in doing so
Apr 2015 · 505
Noosetalgia
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Nostalgia or Noosetalgia?
Cause it chokes me in it
To recall a world where I existed
Without a limit

Crawl around a place
Inside my head
I can't escape
Unsure if that faded memory
Is real or fake
And did I make it

Did I make it?
For here I am
In a present
I'm unable to open up
Tied down by a past
Too much spoken of

And Will I make it?
To a future where there is no limit
Break the bad habit
Take the leap
Snap the rope
Or end up choked by it?

Pulled back by the past
A rose tinted hue
Blood shot eyes
Of asphyxiation
Fixated on a south facing view

Sunny
Its funny how warmth can be found
In something long dead
Neglecting life
Favouring the thoughts in your head

Gotta Be careful when you
Tread this path
Cause memory lane
Will be all that remains
Nostalgia can last

Fed it will grow
Your time is its payment
And before you know it
Your presents your past
You passed up your present
For your Past and your Future?

What Future?
*All you ever hoped for or looked to was the Past
If you live in the past the payment is always the present and ultimately your future, so let that **** go!

Nostalgias not always a bad thing but for me it needs to be kept in check cause it mostly seems to be a reflection of me not appreciating or being happy in my present.
Apr 2015 · 544
Head to Toe
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
If my Leg was bust
Would you be my crutch?

And if my Mind was,
Could I afford you the same Trust?

Cause Life weighs heavy on a Mind.
Apr 2015 · 1.5k
Rebound For The Reload
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
I think of the first guy who let me down
Just as his Ex came back to town
And though I can have a laugh
and joke with him now
I will never see him in the same light
ever since that night
Out of cowardice he thought it was alright
After knowing me for a good part of my life
To do me like he did
I guess I dodged a bullet...

But not for long
Tell em how you really feel
And they run

But when you can't be direct
You lose my Respect
And I don't think
That anyone has ever
Won it back

And when you can't be straight up
You forfeit my Trust
And I know for a fact
That nobody has ever
Gained that back
Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever will

And I don't know if this is due to my lack
of understanding, or any hurt that I feel
But I doubt it cause I was born to relate
Tread the emPATHy
But I find it winding and tiring of late
But what is the other option?
Hate?
No, I just wasn't made for that

So I seek to understand the reasoning
And see if this should lead
to an acceptance of  the action
Whether it's a justification
For the jagged fragments I stand upon
of all that can be shattered in a fraction
cause we all make Mistakes right?

My prison is a prism of insight
I constantly have to negotiate
One I wish I could crack
But I guess if I'm Bound to the Rebound
I'll always bounce back
Hey **, Old skool garage will help.
*Plays* Oxide and Neutrino - Bound for the Reload
Apr 2015 · 758
Company Policy
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
I'm Lost amongst the Lost
Surrounded by the dumbfounded
Asking for direction but no one knows the way
Trying to focus in an intoxicated state
Scrambling through the crowds
To find a way out instead of through
Drifting further and further away
from the truth
Growing aloof and resentful
Sticking with the stuck
At a standstill
I choose to stand still
STOP
And stare at these people all over the place
These all over the place people
Going 100 miles per hour
But heading nowhere fast
Close eyes
And realise that this way of life ain't for me
Trapped in a vat of social distraction
Too long stuck on repeat
Tired by the tedium
I harbour some eMotion
Sidestep the commotion
But unlike so many
I'm no Escapee...

**I just aim to Break Free
So I can get back to being Me
I hope one day soon to find the balance between being sociable and focused. I think it really depends on the people you surround yourself with and if the company you keep help you to grow and progress. I'm surrounded by a lot of loveable yet apathetic and lost people at this moment in time that I'm sure are destined for better things if only they'd get started (me included lol) sometimes you just gotta break off and do your own thang rather than get caught up in it all. I reached that point quite some time ago now, procrastination just isn't an option anymore.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
First Class
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Are firsts important?

I think that they are.

They mark a moment of courage

A moment of faith

A change

An experience that can shape

Your whole world view

You know I waited till 22

To change my mind

On being alone

Only to find

I would have waited

22 years more

Not to discover

What being alone

In that sense

Actually meant

And that's the truth of a bad day


But just how important are firsts really?

Firsts do not mean best necessarily

Firsts form a starting point

And once you start you may as well carry on

They're A foundation to build upon

A lesson to learn from

You know I waited till 22

To take risks, to raise the stakes

That meant I would make mistakes

Only to find

I wish I hadn't waited 22 years

When I saw how much progress can be generated

When you face your fears

All of which I wouldn't have discovered

*If I had continued to run away
And though I have my days of disdain, where I feel I've done nothing but backtrack, purely for the gains made I don't think I'd take those choices back. I showed such courage and for that I deserve to regain the confidence I now lack.
Apr 2015 · 10.7k
Love Shy
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
The moment I felt embarrassed

After sayin those three words

I knew

You wasn't the one

I should be sayin them to
... and it's funny cause
The moment I felt embarrassed
When I saw you
Was also the moment I knew
I liked you

I guess things come full circle eh
Hey **, quite a sobering moment. You've gotta laugh. Sometimes I wonder if I even meant it
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Elective Mutism
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
I no longer wanna be a hypocrite

            So I no longer wanna **talk
What you do says more than what you say
Apr 2015 · 1.4k
Tread a Different aPATHy
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Cause an Apathetic person

                 Is one space away from

                            being A Pathetic person
this is probably the most frustrating trait that anybody can possess. It's the trait that I hate the most in myself and in others
Apr 2015 · 2.2k
Dumb Waiter
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
You wait only to find Disappointment

So perhaps the key

*Is to not Wait at all
Apr 2015 · 817
Stitch Up
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
I'm just one line

               in a line of long lines

identical to each as you weave

                 same mistake after mistake

 thinking you choose to break

                the habit with each **one
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
You, have got me on broken high

And neither of us

Wanna come down

They're telling me

That I might be crazy

They're telling me

There's no way out


So I half forgot I aspire,

to be so much More

I'm higher, than never before

I never, wanted anything more


This High I Feel

It's Not for Real No

It's Not Enough

I'm Lost to Love
Pretty much sums up how I feel about romance. Get yourself some good headphones and have a listen, cause house just got deep!
Apr 2015 · 559
I See
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
I See So Many


Looking for Validation


Looking for Approval


Looking for Esteem


And love and assurance and adoration



I See So Many


Waiting on Respect


Waiting on Recognition


Waiting on Inspiration


And opinion and votes of confidence


I See So Many


Investing in the wrong things


Losing their way


As they follow another's path


Hoping to be shown


What they've known since birth


I See So Many


Turning to their left and right


Unable to head on


As they gauge the reactions


Of the many that stand side by side


All Terrified that they'll get it wrong


I See So Many


Making things so integral


To their own well being


Dependent on others


On others seeing


But all are blind


Because I see so many*


Have lost sight
I see so many and amongst that many I see me...
Apr 2015 · 351
Why-Fi
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
How do we stay connected?

*Turn off the internet
Apr 2015 · 349
Convey
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Maybe one day

           I'll be able to put it into words

Maybe one day

           *
I'll have no need to
Apr 2015 · 717
Bird-en-Some
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
You let them go*

Indulge in some half hearted belief

That if they're meant too

They'll come back

But what if they don't?*


I guess I'll just have to sell the birdcage to Sia
Apr 2015 · 504
Soul-dier At Ease
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
And yeah you wasted your time
Yeah you wasted your emotion
Hell! You made judgement calls
Based on the false
And the wait
Just led to the disappointment

And yeah you'll get twinges
Of pain and regret
Waiting in the fringes
Of your being
When the boundaries
Become insecure
But not enough to unhinge this

Here you are
In this beautiful moment
Called Clarity
All the better
Cause it didn't come easy

**Let Go
Confusion Cease
ReLease hold, Free
Soul-dier at Ease.
Apr 2015 · 2.6k
Be Sincere
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Though it cannot
Be argued that there's
No sins here

Do good, be kind
And above all else
**Be sincere
Apr 2015 · 408
De-Liberate
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Sat Here

It all became clear

You are

Not worth my time

Not worth my tears

Not worth my hope

Not worth my *fears
Apr 2015 · 6.1k
Diet Diction (Cheat Day)
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
I'm the Krispy kreme De la creme,
a  diabeaTease,
you can't handle this!
Cause you dieting?!
***** please!
Piece by piece of cake
you found your obese!
And yes the truth does hurt
but no worries
if you want something
sugar Coated I'll order you dessert...
**Go ahead and cheat
*snaps fingers*
Was a bit of banter in a rap back and fourth with my bestie Dre, but it actually works alright as a metaphor for a cheating partner being found out...I could be reaching with that one though. Oh well
Apr 2015 · 1.8k
Boundaries Ease
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
You look around and find dead end after dead end as ever increasing walls close in on you. The walls that are the boundaries you create in your own mind until you find yourself closed in, alone and starved of everything you need In life.

But Starvation leads to frenzy and that frenzy eventually to freedom...
Apr 2015 · 1.9k
You Have No Cents
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
And now we're losing interest

Cause we took on things at our own expense

Watch the Dollars burn or go to Bankers

As we all lose our ****** Sense!
yep, I still don't understand why we  compensate incompetent and to be honest ******* wreckless wankers!
Bankers bonuses my ****!
The apathy is strong man
Apr 2015 · 250
Love through the ages
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
(PRESENT)
It is a hard thing to tell someone that you love them when you know that you're not gonna hear it back

(AFTERMATH)
It is a foolish thing to tell someone that you love them when you know that you're not gonna hear it back.

(FUTURE)
It is a Brave thing to tell someone that you love them when you know that you're not gonna hear it back.
I reckon this will be how it goes
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Take Your Next Left
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
It is hard to be left

Its hard to be left when you're at your lowest ebb

Even if you didn't expect any less

Yes it is hard to be left

It is hard to accept you've been left

It is hard to accept you've been left when you had the opportunity to leave

That you were right to believe you'd be left

Yes, its hard to accept you've been left

It is hard to accept you've been left bereft*

It is hard to accept you've been left bereft through a lack of respect

And that this applies to yourself

Yes it is hard to accept you've been left bereft

Yes it is hard to accept you've been left

Yes it is hard to be left
It is hard to know when to walk away, especially if you're a hopeful person.
Apr 2015 · 370
Ex marks the soft Spot
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
They look at you and wish you went by a different name

Your spark just wasn't enough

To smother the pain

Left in the ashes of an old **flame
I've been on both ends of this. It's heart breaking tbh. This is why it is so important to be honest not only with those you care for but with yourself. Anything less is just careless
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
YOU are YOUnique
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Comfort* lies

            In the moment you realise

                            That you are **irreplaceable
Dr Seuss - " you are you, this is truer than true. There is no one Alive, who is youer than you"

We should all have a lil more faith in ourselves and our importance for being here.

As long as you realise this in yourself, you won't need others to
Apr 2015 · 2.8k
These Bros aint Loyal
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
I've been considered as one of the "guys"

But sometimes I just can't get over their guise

Heard one openly admit to sleeping with his best friends chick

The one he was utterly devoted  to even when they split

A bro lost my vote when to that he did admit

But then again, these are young guys...

It could all just be *******!

**Especially when it comes to ***
I got love for my boys but dang I need some men in my life! XD
Apr 2015 · 1.4k
UnderStand
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
How can you know where you stand

With somebody who doesn't know where they stand?

You can't

You Can

Just hold their hand

And you stand together
With my dislike for confusion and my stubborn streak I usually fold my arms or flick the V's and walk away but hey ** maybe I'll try something different
"Ahhhh Reach Out!" *Chic remix*
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Me cheat?!*

Ha!

I couldn't even cheat on an exam!
(And I hate them)

I don't believe that I ever could

Out of Guilt, Love, Respect and disservice not only to you

But to my own character
(And that means everything to me)
This is inspired by something my ex said to me when I went to go have a long overdue talk with him. He bought up the subject of cheating and how he thought that's what I was gonna ask or tell him about and this proved to be a massive revelation to me. I was like "Hot Dang! Hold the bus for a minute, what did you say?!" *sigh*

I'm like the Mafia mate, it's all about loyalty!

*plays*  The Blue Notes - If you don't know me by now
Apr 2015 · 565
Lion on the Pains of Africa
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Pain is like a caged beast

It needs to be released

And that means you can't keep on feeding it

Cause of course it'll ****** come back!
I don't know why but I imagine this being read in David Attenboroughs voice..partly due to the fact that it would be incredibly entertaining to hear him Say "******" XD
Apr 2015 · 1.9k
On Routine to Depression
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
I get up mid afternoon

Go sit at the kitchen table

Rockin on the chair

I stare

Food untouched

Preoccupied by all the pain that I feel

All the pain they're unaware of
I believe unexpressed and undealt with pain ultimately leads to a depressive state. So Feel it and release it in whichever way you can. Pain is only ever meant to be temporary.  Suffering, well that ***** long-lasting

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional
Apr 2015 · 1.8k
The Worst Kind
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
The worst kind is people

People who let others believe that their instincts are mere insecurity

People are such liars

Do you know what the worst kind is people?

Lies to spare feelings

Ultimately there Is no comfort in dishonesty

Do you know what the best kind and the worst kind is?

**Mankind
Trust in yourself
Apr 2015 · 836
Lost Cause
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Looking to the Lost
To find yourself

But you won't

Cause two lost
people together
Only ever stay lost.

But at least then
they may just
get lost in each other.
I'm tired of being lost. It's like I'm playing a game of hide and seek by myself! Time to take a look in the mirror...
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
After Thought
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Well if you're the First thought

I guess I could only ever be what came *After
If one is nothing but an afterthought its Time to sort out ones priorities
*shouts in Cartmans voice* "RESPECT MY PRIORITIES!"
Apr 2015 · 511
Spring Breakdown
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
The Pedantic Romantic
travelling through the
World of Delusion
from Pacific to Atlantic
just with the news on.

Sofas the chauffeur
when you've got nothing
to show for a day spent
lament, pent up in the House,
Deep and empty,
spose that's why they
call it a HolEday,
best book the room key,
all expense on me,
no need for money,
this ***** free,
oh the irony!
How long a stay?
1 week, too weak, four?
Life long exCURSEion
not one foot out the door.

Just a fan of fantasy,
surviving on cans
of what could be,
Stored ambition that
cannot be ruled,
rotting through indecision
so now used for fuel,
Zero emissions in fact
devoid of all,
except to keep
you turning over
and it does at night
when fantasy ends
and  truth begins,
as the delusion of
the day fades away
its distractions sleeping
where the sun last lay.

Where the whispers you
could drown in music and tv
become allied with the silence
and now they Scream!
When you wish you
had kept those headphones on,
filling your head with thoughts
laid down on somebody
else's song, so those of yours
from your head be **gone.
Another joyful excerpt from my depressive teen days XD  Taken from quite a bad time when I look back on it, when I had what I can only describe as a nervous breakdown at 18. This is when I first started writing poetry, in part due to a lack of conversation due to isolation and as a means to express and release all the **** I was feeling.

Hmm sometimes it's good to look back just to appreciate how far you've come and what you can still work on
Apr 2015 · 772
Now you're Honour your Own
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
You can keep your obligation
You can keep your guilt
Neither are worthy motivation
To clean up what you spilt

Carve them into your
Swords ******* hilt
For the next sucker to swallow
Under the pretense of **help
Sometimes I feel someone with a conscience is actually worse because they knew full well that they were doing wrong, even cared that they were and yet they did it any way.
This is what's hard to forgive and this is what's hard to forget.
Apr 2015 · 3.4k
DMXer
Rhianecdote Apr 2015
Haven't slept
****** mess
Up all night
To DMX
Gettin vex
Stress
Unnecessary
In excess
Need you tonight
I fess up!
Fed up
Made it up
The half pipe
Inhaled the High
For my time
And the sight
Now I'm blind
In decline
Spose to fly
But

*Yo I'm slippin, I'm fallin...
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