With a clean duster,

the maid goes around the house --


waving like a queen.

Someone told me,
To water my own grass,
But what they neglected to mention,
Is that my grass is crass.

This is due to my unfortunate past,
Every minute spent kissing ***,
To be walked on and trampled by,
Boots and heels of brass.

So no, I will most certainly not,
Water my own grass,
The thoughts and evaluations,
Of the judgment I pass,
Is necessary and voluntary,
In a sea of largemouth bass.

I despise myself

for everything I can't do --


like other students.

Talking and joking,

with you, here, at my home, but --


it's not a visit!

I was in a two world collision  
on a twofold page
enclosed by the book of politically correct

I don’t go by a hedonistic phrase
but by the future of a humanity gone unsaved
Showed me the way in every choice
I made
Swift decisions
into future visions

By the agency of existence for the barriers standing as truth
What is integrity? Perception
In the eyes of you and me  

The crackling sparkles of glass clinking
when we say cheers

This journey is only a conversation in tangled forms  

And the beauty of it; misinterpreted  


There is a path of misunderstanding between the selves  
Bold and timid
Harmed yet relentless  
Precise in its impact
Churning substance into form

The reality of what we believe in a single word  
The silence of motion  
Doing the best we can to discover who we are
Gains a lifetime in the moment  

of confronting the new and answering time
I’ve learned from the ghosts of my past errors
The presence of the now is the acceptance of revelation
An exchange of meaning is not only of ideas  
but of the freedom one allows oneself to feel from a life made into meaning

I thought I knew your words
It was like knowing anybody out there  
A blank page in the book of Proverbs

Bait and switch without the wisdom
But you didn’t know what you brought
Soulless protection to fear
You called
me a scared little girl
Little did you know
I was my own savior

What is it you said I needed?
A so-called enlightenment?
But who knew your darkness wrapped *** magik
Could save vulnerability and attempt to destroy the authentic luxury of me
No. Only fake love in lust can do that
For lust is loss and I’m not gone

Then there was you and me again
That night unveiled me
The unevolved me
Still I knew
I was going to make it out alive

I am here.