just a sudden thought.
evil doers

a sad piece base on a man who had lost his wife to cancer.
written May 29, 2012

this was one of those old work of mine that inspired how my mom died of breast cancer, and how sad my father at that time... now, both of them are gone, and hopefully peacefully have meet each other in the otherside...

a quote.
A reminder.
A love like no other.
Happy New Year.
Despite being busy,
Its a must to find time
For a love one.

Pax

How could you ever love me
If you still never see me.

The eye of the storm will come my way, someday
I hope not too soon, but in the distant future
For I am not prepared on the messiness it harbors in its back
The harsh judgments that will pour heavily on my shoulders
Then flowing water will flood my sane world
I need my time to organize
My mental, emotional and physical stability
To stand the outburst of the tempest.

© Pax 2013

© 2012 Pax
this was one of my older piece when i was starting to used imagery in my poetry. It was the First part of my Concrete poetry series, it was supposed to be a pebble shape, now im not sure(smiles). As i re-read it now and post it here, i realized something that i never thought of when i wrote it. I was writing it on a fantasy genre on mind, but now i know deep inside, even before, i am looking for someone who i can connect with, to share something with, to be with someone you can relax and trust upon... i become the rock who is lost in the sands of time, because the roses have gone away, or never got to find my shine.

10w
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quote
Sometimes I need to be reminded about this. We tend to over-think, over analyze, over justified on something we got to do, one major hindrance in most of our choices are doubts the breeds our fears.

I am extremely afraid and anxious to post this piece because its quite a personal experience.

Due to my hippie long hair and rounded ****, I've been sexually harass... but not to the extreme because I always manages to escape. I admit, through my 3 years here, I've been approach by a few indecent proposal, and I always manages to say no AND ESCAPE. But this recent one is a bit extreme, because I have to run to avoid this person. its just that we work in the same place, and sometimes he manages to corner me in the bathroom. Thank God, to people coming in and out of the bathroom. i HATE IT WHEN HE MANAGE to touch me.   I hate ****** harassment but there are just some people are really shameless.

It taken me a lot of courage to put this up. And yes, it is applicable to men. specially weak men like me. Why can't some people understand a simple no or a multiple nos.... please don't judge me, I never really talk about this kind of stuff, I just want to spit it out and forget about it.

Multiple meanings

-quote-
i just had a passing thought earlier on what to do next year or whenever i got the time to retrack my life. I really wanted to write a story or a tale. I want it to be completed this time. When writing a story went inside my heart, i manage to write several chapters but i never got to finish them. I always thought that my knowledge or experiences wasn't enough for me to built a solid plot or realistic/fantasy viewpoint. I remember this quote i wrote for a review in wc i did last week and realize that our poetic words is an extension of our life's strings, maybe this is one reason why i write quotes which reflects my life and the life around me whenever it is in writing or reality. It is a reminder, a guide, or even a inspiration to those who write. You know, at some points within my realm of thoughts, i tried to forget and even give up writing because i have a low self-esteem, as i grow older it never went up to confidence, so it went to my heart and become stone that i went on isolation to never finding any relationship, even friendship on the real -world i considered them as acquaintance, i built up a wall upon myself. sigh... i got side track on my life, sorry for that... my point now it that never stop writing, as i am doing myself to keep on going. thanks for reading....

with it, i understand myself better
with it, i give patience
to understand people better
with it, i learned to accept and love
- myself a little bit better than before

Dear Readers,
I always thought that every decision we made is a free one. But now i realized that it is not the case, there will always be something of a price or a higher effort that equates every move & choices we make. Some are visible to perception and some are unseen, never noticed. It is like cause and effect, or you paid this to gain that or every choices has its own consequences either good or bad.

Thanks for reading ...

@pax

just saying.
a quote
a shoutout
a reminder
its really okay to have it we all do but we need to even it out
balance is everything.

life has taught me how to write.

its either work or with someone, i've learned that in life, hard labor must be done to built stability.

sometimes I needed this, to be able to stay strong and stay on track through life. I remember last year, how I cried out my life's worries, now seems like its field up somehow. Its good to cry you know, I cry it out, alone in my quarters. I don't mind as long as it relieves me afterwards, then I am okay.