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Pax Feb 2017
My life is an unfinished artwork
It needs a retouch on how it should be.
Sometimes what i badly need is a fresh start...
Pax Aug 2014
Restlessness makes my nights sleepless
Overloaded thoughts make my lights stranded

My mirrored reflection affects my emotion
Finding the old me, now lost in the sea, never ending
Waves that never cease my ease, bewildering

Kisses pushes me to the dark,, hugs causes me to bark
Stars from far above filled this emptied love

Voices Rant, faceless haunt, memories taunt
Goodbyes are beginning, the ends are starting


© Pax
Pax Jul 2017
I can say the right things
yet in the wrong time,
while I say the wrong things
in the right time.
seems contradicting but in truth, I better stay silent and listen more than confronting any situations thats for the later part....
Pax Dec 2015
I was the second choice and the safe bet
never your first.
this applies to life or love.
a quote.
a shout-out.

a sudden sigh.
Pax Apr 2015
I’m tired of carrying you at my back.
Keeping you well fed
to the point I starved myself.

Did you often wonder what I feel?  
Have you ever thought of what I really want?
Have you ever seen me without my deep façade?

The difficulty I'm facing is well kept.
Time after time it wears me down.
To the point of exhaustion.
When can I stop and have a little break?
My mind is full and my heart is heavy.

These questions will remain lost in the sea of my thoughts.




© 2013 Pax

a very heavy old fragment, still hung around, carrying, starving, well someday in someway I'll be able to let you go....
Pax Oct 2015
When you have lots of secrets
to lie comes easy.
a quote, 10 words
.
.
.
.
I guess to lie is all you do best at the moment.
Pax Aug 2015
I planted my seeds
And for three years it’s still a sprout
Struggling in a harsh environment.

Many have flourished
Around it,
mine was left behind
with its slow progress...
This is how I describe myself. How far I've grown as a functional person within  society's & my humanity's needs.

sorry for not being around much, Right now I am on my vacation time back here in the Philippines. So I'll be back in just few more weeks to go of my vacation time left... Be back in September...
Pax Jun 2014
Don't measure your self-worth by someone's opinions.

*© Pax
a quote, learned experienced. One of the things that I need to remind myself. You are worthy for your own good not for their own taste.
Pax Nov 2016
In the shadow of these city life
your shine gets dimmer
and your beauty seems duller.

In the midst of these city lights
your nothing but a shadow who
follows
the mundane rules
neglecting you dream
to create.
shout-out to self.
Pax Jul 2017
No lies escapes someone's sharp mind.
just saying, quick reminder, a quote, 6 words story.
Pax Mar 2020
Your the shinning example of
Love i never got to see.
So be at ease to
The one you've found
Love grows when
U cherish it.
Pax Nov 2016
In my world i never been
able to say i have love.
I guess I'm just a shut-in
who never got to enjoys the
affection of someone special.
Someone who treats me better,
& cherished me - like
someone who's
deserving
to be
loved.
{-}
So in the end
I built too many walls,
too insecure to be vulnerable
and very much afraid
to be heartily
naked.

truth be told, raw feeling.
Pax Jan 2013
Everything in Excess is poisonous
addiction starts off in single doses
until completely indulging…


*© Pax
Pax Apr 2024
Sins, bites on your conscience
          never to your convenience.
       No salvation, No revelations.
               Unblessed the lucky
       bottomless becomes your destiny
and darkness laments, it’s quite cloudy
     wavy timelines, weary crimes
                   Brooking our doom
                  creating thy tomb
                   as deaths looms.
this was me playing with words. Yet as always there is hidden truth and meaning behind my play. I guess this is me cursing to those who are lucky enough to have sinned and get away with it. As in every truth, sins is also subjective to survival, so we should be careful who to blame.
Sky
Pax Dec 2018
Sky
Those times when my ocean almost reach your sky.
Quote,Poem
Pax Oct 2016

.
a smile is just like a ball
it bounce from person to person
with the right
friction
.

*



© Pax
just a quote
https://www.instagram.com/p/BFodvZRLpRE/

Thank you everyone. It was a tough year for me. As you have known, i lost a parent a few months ago. Coming back here and writing  is like starting all over again. Smile was inspired on how i wear it on my daily routine in the office, even in tough times. This shows that i still have strengh and will to move forward. So i greatly appreciate everyone's support.
Pax Sep 2014
If I ever think I am not loved or just felt worthless,
all I have to do is think of
    someone - a friend or family
        who truly cares, and then everything
   comes in perspective.

© Pax
You know sometimes I feel like nobody cares for me, so that's why I penned this piece, not only to remind myself that there will always be someone who cares for you, also for my readers to remind themselves that you are not alone & also we are all worthy of this life...

it was an excerpt of my piece "if ever": http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1394533/
Pax Oct 2016
are so small, like a stain
unseen
hiding in plain
sight
just waiting
to be found
remains invisible
like its never around.
© Pax  

October 2016

just random thoughts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BL6A4vSjhp1/?taken-by=willyampax
Pax Sep 2014
To Forget Something is Easy,
but losing Someone is Hard.




*© Pax
a quote - never compare someone to a thing, things are easily replace-able, close friends/family are not and it is the most hardest to forget when you lost them...
Pax Jan 2016

how does one word
hurt much?

Do you even need help
in carrying
the load,
the burden you
kept,
and the life
you're trying to
bury?

SOMETIMES answering one question
is just asking too much...

Pax Nov 2015
Sometimes,
*my Life has no direction
Choices was laid down for me
whatever what makes them happy...

It has meaning but has no sense of path
It flows like the river
it never stop...

my life feels stagnant
stuck with a slow progress
seems too redundant...

my life has rooted its fears, it *****
no matter how you cut, it grows back
roots rooted to the very core, I'm stuck....

Sometimes, I am not sure I am good enough.
Pax Jun 2013

I am stained
I am in pain

The look in her eyes
The sound of her voice
The taste of her lips
The scent of her skin
The warmth of her hug
  
Memories
Do not leave me
Breathless




© Pax
Pax Feb 2015

How many times we starved ourselves
dreaming something that we can’t have…

How many times we deprived ourselves
from wanting the life we wanted the most
just because we lack something or
having the practical mind that it is not for us…

Sometimes we starved ourselves to limit our flight.
Bound by rules, responsibilities, duties,
or even culture, tradition and religion…
Despite all that, we balance everything
for what’s right, what feels right
The Weighing of the Heart ---

loosely inspired by a poem of a dear friend of mine (Belle), somehow this is a reflection on my part.

inspired by her two poems namely: The Weighing of the Heart & Starvation.

probably I'll delete this later on, it hurts sometimes to reflect the moments I passed on and just starve myself on some aspects of my life. I don't regret it, its just that sometimes you can't help to wonder why i've done that, even though you know yourself the reason why...

due to all your support my friends, I decided to kept this here for awhile longer... thanks all for reading
Pax Jan 2015

A prisoner of your own doing
Selfishness is a way of avoiding
Stay fair by merely existing
Pain and craving
Lock and stored in a well-guarded place
Hunger made it hollow in this well hidden base
Loving from a distance
Shielded by masquerade
Person in charade.

written way, way back last: August 30, 2011
its a old piece, this was the time I was still jobless & with many sleepless nights I had. I was in a lot of pressure, or I created too many expectations upon myself. Subconsciously I started writing, to help me sleep and not think of many things that I will begin to regret. I guess my point is, I started writing because I needed peace of mind.
Pax Jun 2015

I’m strong enough not to let you see me fall apart
So I hide my cries between my sighs.

I’m strong enough to stand alone against the cold landscape
So I hide my sadness between fake faces.

I crave, I starve, I wonder
And get lost in the process.
Then end up getting back to where I started.

How far will I stay strong?
How far will I carry along this dying song?
When will I ever belong?
......

..
.

I always talk on how poetry is an embark journey of mine. But more often I came back with recurring questions. I can say “I’m strong enough” but for how long, how far long will I go, or how much more I can take… big sighs…
Pax Nov 2015
There are times stillness hums
sometimes, boredom sung.
The longing it create, stung.
“Writing, at its best, is a lonely life.” by Ernest Hemingway
Pax Feb 2015

Walls upon walls of soundless treatment
I talk to the voiceless whisperer.

Whenever it gets too lonely and too silent, I talk to myself. I confide to the voices of my mind/head. I guess that's my crazy to sane life.
'Me, Myself & I'
*
Pax Nov 2024
You smelled the roses
used them till Withered
and toss aside
for a new one
All you did was
temporary love.

You like new,
Young and
Shiny
But then again
You get bored
And opt
for a new one.
All you did was
temporary love.

You sing songs
Of love and
Praises
Yet you avoid
pain and Fear
of Risking it all
All you ever did was
Temporary love.
.... it was supposed to be a song but i can't bring out the melody....
Pax Jun 2015

To the world,
I share my words.
Expressed in verses
through Rhymes & Rhythm
It bleeds my life
as I unload my burdens.

I thank those who understand,
who cares to read
and relate
to the art of expressing
Yourself.

this is a little thank you note to all my friends who reads my scribbles.
Pax Jun 2015
The day I stop dreaming
     is when I started my progress…

I never really understood to why, oh why
do we have to start a living?

In the city of progress, I became the mindless puppet
Of what we call ‘the clichés of society’
FOR NOW - I’m totally blind in all five senses
    to where my love should be place in…

From a specific today, I am robbed for my silence
Totally alone never wanted nor even needed
Conceivably A misplaced person in a ‘crazy world’
- or it is just me who thinks this way.

Sometimes I would think no one would ever really captured
                          - ‘the essence of my heart’
Or probably it was just me, who never did take noticed.
Guessing I am too
  - Perverse to feel anything within the walls of my five senses.

Despite everything else, I understood how Society lives by.
The imaginable ways it burdens and pleasure in
–> Giving –> Receiving –> Showing –> US
                                                         how life works with their walls.

I could never blame how our world becomes a harsh place,
Yet I could took the blame on US
   or our humanity is too faulty consecutively.
Too many Securities from any Insecurities.
Walls upon Wall of their Owning Glory,
      Almost nothing is free.

So I stand chained from cultural responsibilities,
for we were made to think this way.

Ashamed of what I discovered
So I hide in the covers of my pen
To write, just write,
A Written voice for the fallen..

A friend told me “I think life ends when a man stops from breathing and also when he stops from dreaming. What will keep us moving if we no longer have holds to aspirations, to hope...”

Then my friend, Kalypso answered a big part of it in her review on what I am talking about in this piece, she said: “being a dreamer for so long, having to pull my head and heart out of the clouds and start the mundane process every day, over and over again, would bring me into this realm of thinking. Wondering why we do ...what we do? What is the purpose of working just to pay bills and survive, but barely live? Feeling like I disappeared in the process of becoming an adult and taking on responsibilities. Having no time to explore the world. To ponder the mysteries of life...or capture the beauty of everything around us. How the monotony takes away your creativity and individualism, blends you into society, almost making you invisible.”

Then Rachelle’s questions arise saying: “Do we grumble? Do fall into a deeper pit of despair or do we try to figure out how to transform our reality such that the world is exciting and challenging again?”

With all those thoughts arises from my poem, I came to understand that despite I stop dreaming big, I still hold on to the little hope and a hint faith I have on myself that someday, in some way a dream could rise again from the burned pages of my bucket list.

I am thankful that I have find/found friends in my writings.
So I appreciate everyone who reads me, greatly....

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1336541/
Pax Oct 2013
I am no prince
Nor I am of royal blood

There is just nothing more of a dream
I wince of meaning to be someone
That person was never me

The crown I once wore,
I thought was forever meant
Temporary was I all to be
Shame on me

I kept running from the storm
Hoping to evade what fear had brought
Now facing what I fear the most
A reality slap
     to wake up on this lovely nap

Once I was a false prince
     in a dreamy fantasy pretense

Now I thought I was a walking dead
All along I was asleep on my bed…


*© Pax
Pax Sep 2015
I played the game, alone.
I talk to the air,
Imagining a friend who isn’t there.
My brain’s dual thinking.

- Checkmate -

Personification in strike
Persona’s colliding stake

- Stalemate -

Hello there my stuffed friend
Looks like we are a matched.
We’re Latched,
Encased in the four corners of our walls.
You know I feel restless looking at your frozen face.
Playing with stillness is a hollowed void.
Engross with my ever changing fantasy.
Choosing to ignore reality.
A sad case of my mortality.

- Workmate -

Music patched the necessary unattached realm.
Stories powered the desires to dream the unchallenged dream.
Life is a walking daydream.

- Lostmate -

There are those would think I am coward
And then I box myself not to move forward.
I fear what lurks behind someone’s soul,
Fearing I am not worthy of my own coal.
A charade of personas, hiding.
Tilting the crowd as if I am never there, post acting.

- Soulmate -

Believing you are near,
somewhere far behind that unseen chamber door.

- Castmate -

Sometimes I am just tired of this game.
Whispers of the wind, believing I am tamed.
Sometimes all I need is a real friend
That will hug-out the negative trend
For me to transcend
To the realistic perspective
Waking the sleeping life’s motive.
7 poems in one
" - would there be someone that will say I am still worthy... " That's what i said when i wrote this awhile back....
Pax Dec 2015
It was not me, who put you into the dark
It was not me, who put too much hate upon himself
It was not me, who made you so imperfect
          Who choose this life for us?
                   It was you,
                             I am only a shadow in every decision.
The weak link, the forgotten will
of one’s owned heart, truly remains in the corner…
.
.
.
*Simply the ghost, who whispers in total silence.
my road is still dark....
Pax Feb 2021
I.stand to the consequence i took,
and I.walk to the reality i am facing.
A Shadow slaps, oh irony of choices
Im forever burn in your grace
A bit raw, written last 25/06/2020
Pax Oct 2013
Trapped in the glass
Food for your tray
I am the water that filled your thirsty soul

You're just a starve being who hungers for more
Can’t you see, I am slowly dying
My children is declining
Pollutant is destroying my beauty
day by day
I wonder if you care

I hope many of you understand
That my rage goes out of hand
That’s just how I am
Nature’s call in changes
Of the climate
and more often of what you’ve done

In time you’ll see how important I am
How you’ve lost a part of me
That cares for you
I am not selfish
All my blessings is free for the taking
But it is never yours alone

You outnumbered my children
To the point that you hunted them to extinction

You polluted my shores
To the point that I lost my blissful purity

You poisons each other's soul
To the point that I have taken the destructive consequences

Some things are hard to learn
But that doesn’t mean you’ll repeat the same mistakes
over and over again
as if it’s a good thing
it never was and never will be

I am dying, how I wish you care




*© Pax
the ocean's perspective.
Pax Jan 2016
along with my useful lively self
i stroll the path of faceless crowds
they might not know me
I might not know them
but I'm glad as I watch
them do their story
and I on a steady phase
create the background
of my life,
the passerby...

a bit raw



i guess this will be the second part of my poem passerby.
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1023562/passerby/

thank you for reading me...
Pax Nov 2014

The wounds of my past
lingering and wondering
through the days of my life
then you came along
and heal this dying soul.
This magic coated masked melted like candles.
Your resonated flames made it into liquid nitrogen.
Making it unattainable
for me to grasp and hold into.
It evaporated in the sun kissed skies.
My black salted tears evaporated
By your brightly warm glow.
I feel alive and free.
The wounds faded into scars
Leaving a mark of lamented past
Reminding me that I’ve learned.
I came back to this wondrous existence with you at my side
I bid farewell to the dying lands of grief
And promise not come back
As long as your light and wisdom shines on me
Never fading.


© Pax
written: September 9, 2012
Pax Dec 2024
I've been tickled
By reality
Laughing at
my lonesome life
My ugly truth to some, I think.
Yet I stop caring, me forever more...
Pax Jan 2013
Don’t over ponder the things you don’t have power
Sometimes you just have to let time slide by
For the chances to pass by
Making a road of much better opportunity along the way…

In life some chances are not meant to be understood
But intended to be learned as you had experienced those times



*© Pax
Pax Dec 2018
how broke are you,
to make you this weak?
how am I able to
fix you when
you, yourself
never allow me too...?

I am the little flicker
able to flip worst
into a brighter
light.

please have patient
and be lenient
to thy self
it's never too
late, to believe
and hope
a light
will come,
even a fool
has a chance
to be loved.
sometimes I am thinking on giving up this life
but some flicker keeps me going, telling me
to go on as best as I can. even if its lonely
even if its tiring, I still can carry on, I hope
so, hope ill last the best I can... so i hope you
too dear readers...
Pax Jan 2015
True artist is not all about the talent,
it’s the art of loving your craft.
a quote
Pax Jan 2015
Truth holds many faces, like how fractured mirror show multiplicity.
© Pax
I say this in a review in WC before:

“I believed that truth varies in the complexity of right and wrong depending on our beliefs, culture & tradition, principles and values. So knowing to find balance between all this, you’ll never get lost upon looking into yourself. Finding the courage and strength within – is acceptance and understanding everything of who you are.”
Pax May 2017
I've left my feelings
unanswered.
just a quick shout out, short but it says what is just needed to say. Less but not much. Sorry for being away, its seems like i just bottled up my feelings yet again and stow it away to be a faded unanswered feelings... sigh...

i hope everyone(my literary friends) are well...

thank you for reading...
Pax Sep 2014

uncertainty is best left off in
the distance of silence
...



© Pax
Pax Apr 2020
I Sense your
morning movement
as you wrap
your sweetest embrace
into my cold heart
bringing heat
to my uncharted
territory
I surrender…

I rave at your arrival
as you drain
my pool of
longing then
satisfying
my hunger
forever
I remember…
An old piece.
Pax Aug 2017
I was the star
who lost his
glow -

automated
as I function
living for the
sake of living
as my heart
has stop breathing
the love he
suppose to
give.

so...
I burried my own
unglowing star
thinking
its hopeless.

I've been reading, reading,
watching, watching,
and working, working
same old, same old
until I lost my glow
and stop being wishful
as I know time has stop
as I drop
my dream,
sometimes....

I lived because
I can still pretend.
I guess this will be my last post for a while but I will not be gone just around. writing seems so away now, I guess that my life becomes dull as my heart slowly turning to a stone. this piece pretty much explain what ive been doing. I will write again when im back in my own country, it's good news to me that im exiting suadi Arabia, soon...sigh... another big challenges will come to me, another big step i'll take....
Pax Oct 2014
I’m not ugly,
I’m unique.
Same way as you are.


© Pax
a quote
true beauty of just being you.
to everyone who thinks they're ugly, like me, a reminder to self.
Pax Jan 2016
I’m not as loved as you think I am
I am just someone who thinks of love
share it at times but
I never got to have it.

Pax Apr 2015
Lucky are those who have found love
and been loved.

Lucky are those who bear the gift of face.
   Easy is for them to find an easy case
            for their own taste
     - a goal for their own base.

Lucky are those who has an outstanding confidence.
For by it, they don’t live with a doubtful fence.
Freely as they get any wants in their existence.

I give away smiles, pieces of my lies,
        pretending not having rainy skies.
Hiding my Breathless sighs.

Sometimes I am like a rock
   too dull to feel, a surface too rough.
A sense I lost, an unreachable core,
I don’t know how to love anymore.



*© 2014 Pax
to simply say: "I am just unlucky in terms of love"


First of all I want to give my special thanks to all my friends who supports me not in my writing but the me who is inside in every piece I penned. To all of you, it let me believed that I should not give up on love, with that it is enough for me to stay positive… hopeful for someday someone will come and bring spring to my 'cold landscape', bring light to my 'unglowing star' and a home that I could finally call my own to stop being the 'passerby'...

....
Pax Jan 2016
Loving you from afar
watching you happy
are all enough for me.

a quote
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