It's more
than just
a sigh
when my
lungs forget
how to breathe

It's more
than just
a taste
when my tongue
forgets flavor
and only
savors

It's more
than a shake
when my
hand
forgets
to
let
go

It's more
than just
a smile
when my
brain forgets
how to
process

It more than
just a
"Hello"
when my
my heart
speaks
through
my eyes

It was
more than
just a shared
bench
when
time
paused

It's more
than just
a blink
when
I dream
in between

It's more than
just silence
when
my brain
forgets
how
to
t
     h      
           (ink)

I have been
studying
the language of thuds
till a sailor
heard my heart
and deciphered
its tone

.. / -- .. ... ... / -.-- --- ..-

Type, delete
Type, type, type... deleeeete...
Ttttt, ype, dele(type).. delete.

Type, type type (space) type
deeeleeeete...

Cursor blink ...

Face to Face
nose to nose
jousting breaths
teasing
every sense
in their bodies

Lips close but not
quite, so much to say
yet silence inhibited
all sense of speech

His hands
slid sensually up and down
her spine
strumming seductive moans
she was his cello
and he, her cellist
conducting a symphony
that she
and only she
can excel at

Jousting breaths
high moans
tender touches
skin on skin
it's just
ethereal

What have I done?
what's happening to me?
Am I diseased with
the sickness that's infiltrating
the whole nation

A nation of pill popping zombies
that has addicted itself
to the loophole
of "a pill for happiness"
"a pill for desensitization"
"a pill for nerves"
"a pill for life"?

Why have we become a generation of junkies
whose drug is legal
inflicted on us
but degree holding powers
because "they know better"?

Is it normal for humans like me and you
who feel
who see
who taste
who hear
who smell
to be controlled by a singular button
to be confined to a manifesto
of the "latest trend"

Are we all hypnotized
into morphing into the
"perfect body"
"10 ways to get smarter"
"look like this, don't eat"
is it a blueprint set by a superpower
to transform us to identical robots
to make it easier to control us?

Are we slowly walking down the path
of being identical?
Are we losing the only essence of what makes us human?
Are removing our imperfections
and surgically implanting
"my lips should be like this"
"my thigh gap is a must"
"my brain should have a set of guidelines"

What has become of us?
I pity the fish that
flow with the current
I cry over the youth today
I mourn the artists
of yesteryears
I grieve with the widowers
of lost souls

There's still hope
or so I try to believe
and encourage
the dying breed
of
perfectionists
the humble ones
those whose kisses only
land on lips
and not
*****

I like
that you
see me
as your
favorite
color

I grasped my final
breath
and screamed
"I feel alive"
holding on
to the last
beat
the
hit
for
you

My mind left my body
and went wondering
under dim street lights
dusty with cigarette conversations
rusty with hesitations
overlooking lovers, strangers
friends, and sometimes
moments of firsts

My mind left my body
and went wondering
dancing with conversations
from her about broken hearts
cheating wishing stars
merciless time
future-reading-palms
and the unfairness of it all

My niece
made me bangle
of letters, starts, unicorns|
and colored beads

Then it hit me
that's her poem to me
a set of random things
that sit beautifully
side by side
around in a circle

and I noticed that
that's the first time
someone wrote
a poem
about
me

She's a gemini in her wit
an aries at heart,
a taurus at rationale
a scorpio at defence,
a Virgo at ease,
and a cancer at care.

She's June in January
and Christmas in August.
She's spring in rain
and snowflakes in heatwaves.

Morning dew in drought
and rays on cloudy days.

She's Jessica.

I found sanctuary
in every line I wrote
for my tongue
cringed at the mere
thought of saying it

I found peace in every
pencil stroke that created a word
too heavy for my heart to carry

I found serenity
in the sound of turning pages
as they filled with stanzas
stories and random ideas
that my voice could not voice

I found strength
in every time I held
that blank page from turning
and seeing the unwritten
through my mind's eye
creating itself

I found uniqueness
in the way I integrated
"what I could not say"
with
"what I can write"

I found a way
to embody memories
and bring them to life
every time the tip of my pencil
touches that blank slate

I found a way to talk to you
and word *****
things I'd never imagine
my mouth would utter

At least I found a
a way!!

You're a fool
I will step out
of your zone
and claim
my own
for my galaxy
was too colourful
for such
black holes
Good
Bye

To every poet
that turned misery to beauty
reality to fantasy
life into poetry
love into mystery
words into sorcery

To every poet whose
word on paper
is an invitation
to play with fire

I fought my inhibitions
but nature pulled through

Breaking barriers of what if's
unclothing all those hidden thoughts

Naked and free, I bashfully
bathed in my liberty
succumbing to all things "now"

For I have found beauty
in the "momentary"
and the naturally
inevitable

You blow my rationale
like the angry wind
stripping me
from logic

You step into my garden
of innocence
coloring my dull being
with every footprint

You awaken my dormant nature
blossoming every flower
sprinkling spring
everywhere

You kiss my hibernating heart
warming it from the crisp
cold winter outside

You ripple emotions
across my vast body
triggering a field
of goosebumps

You walk your fingers
untangling my curls
as they stroll from my nape
upwards

You trace paths
along my face
drawing a perfect picture
of beauty
your
beauty

I overdosed on my cupid's arrow
I trip and fall
at that first
different
"hello"

The night air
prompted me
to act upon
my true inhibitions
versus
putting them to sleep
and oh the wonders
that the wishing
stars
foresaw

I had a seance
with the night sky
the other day
and I felt my
soul exorcised
by the muses
as they quenched
my thirst
with sweet sinful
nocturnal juices
that diluted
my inhibitions

Drown
yourself
in
your
self
worth
not
your
tears

There is no wrong
in falling foolishly
for the things
that make you feel alive
as there is no greater feeling
than a beating heart
that still
simply
beats

I looked on the bright side
and felt the warm wave
of challenge
caress
my
f
a
c
e

"It's fine
to do nothing
being busy
isn't that
glorious"

It's not my fault
if I left a burning flame
in your heart
and tattooed
memories in your mind

There must have been something
to them, to us
since you left the flame ablaze
and the tattoos
intact

I left you a threat
under my pillow
on the left side of your bed
my heart told me to so do

I left you years of care
hoping they'd sleep
and drift into dream
maybe become memories

I left you wishes
here and there
but for some reason
it just felt unfair

I left you watches
hoping time would treat you well
and remind you
of things passed

I left you kisses
on your back
hoping they'd serenade you to sleep
on sleepless nights

I left you with a scent
that I thought
would shake your fossilized
memories of me

I left you,
way before you left me
but not really
I never did

I may not be your
cup of tea
but
for
others
I might be
everything that
fills a cup and more

Ok, let me get this straight..
actually no.
I don't want it straight..
straight never went .. straight
to what it's supposed to lead to

Let me get this curved?
maybe that would help
then again..
curved is straight with a dent
what if I have multiple
d             n                        s
    e                           t

Then let me get this dented?
ups and downs?
urgh... de ja vu...

Let me get this...
now..
that's more like it ...

When you have nothing to lose
that's when your
guards fall like November leaves
and you're as naked as Eve's innocence
in the face of every thing and anything

Even though I wear
my heart on my sleeve
there are those
who are too blind
to see it
weirder yet
those who
choose
not
to

I drink it
straight

I write 'em straight
to the point
bold, curvy, squiggly,
pressured or light
and oh
so transparent

Liquid courage
inked in my vessels

soft introductions
******* bodies
the outros
are mostly
unexpected

but they all
deserve a cigarette
afterwards

There is something
about grey skies
and cold days
that makes
sadness
warm

It starts as fire in stomach
it churns over burnt nerves
and over used thoughts

It makes it way up
to your pulmonary system
it clogs your arteries
fights the oxygen
slow asphyxiation

Then it reaches your mouth
unwanted word *****
shaken not stirred
leaves a sour taste in your mouth
those acids of despair
those uncontrolled insults
that stab the other
on hit after the other

Then it settles
like the waves of raging sea
it sits in fetal position
in the core of your brain
burning neuron by neuron
with flaming guilt
silencing all irrationale
and giving voice to logic

You sit there
awake, it's 5 am
and all you can do
is replay day themes
of your angry blackout

Oh rage you're such black magic
that I have
yet to
master

Your "OK"
shattered my
"I love you"

You know
you're aging
when silence
becomes a major
part
of your
presence

I lost myself once
I fell for music
I succumb to the beats
as they stripped my layers
one by one

I lost myself once
I fell for my curiosity
as it lead me down paths
I never knew were paved

I lost myself once
I fell for the handsome boy
with a rotten core
as it deceived my naive being

I lost myself once
I fell for my selfishness
that uncovered deep embedded cravings
and that was fine

I lost myself once
I fell for myself
which lead me down the road
of self discovery
and to my surprise was not as ugly

I lost myself once
I fell for the night
with all its seductive mystery
forgetting how silly felt so lovely

I lost myself once
I fell for him and her
I fell for mornings and nights

I lost myself once
and met great people
whose heart was as beautiful as their faces
I shook hands with those
whose love glowed in their aura
and whose understanding was as discrete as mine

I lost myself once
and sat next to those
who showed the same fear
I had, when it came to breaking the barriers
that guarded their hearts so carefully

I lost myself once
and realized I was found
in
every
word
I
wrote

when did you lose yourself
fully?
Trust me its
a wild trip
full of
ambiguity