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443 · Jul 2017
This Weight
Liz Carlson Jul 2017
I feel this weight on my chest,
they say I just need some rest.
It's pulling me deeper and deeper.
With time the grass will be greener.
Something enormous is suffocating me.
Like I'm drowning and I can't get back up.
But no one can see the pain,
I guess it's all in my brain.
They say everything is okay,
to push the pain away.
But how will I heal,
if I just conceal?
442 · Jul 2018
use me.
Liz Carlson Jul 2018
When all energy is drained from my body,
when my bones creak and crack
and my body has no strength;
I put my trust in You.
I trust that You will use me for Your glory.

Father, use me when I don't feel usable.

All you require is my faithfulness and trust,
then you restore me.

Lord, use me when I don't feel usable.

When I'm broken down and life isn't perfect,
use me even then.
When my flaws and scars are evident to all,
use me especially then.

King, use me when I don't feel usable.

When my heart is broken, and I reject you;
even then use me to bring glory to Your kingdom.

Savior, use me when I don't feel usable.
440 · May 2017
Peculiar Girl
Liz Carlson May 2017
I once knew a girl with a wide smile,
she had quite the interesting style.
She lived in the clouds,
and invited the crowds.
She swam with sharks,
and saw everything in colorful sparks.
When she was told to act her age,
she threw quite the rage.
Eventually life caught up to the girl,
and she never again stopped to twirl.
426 · Aug 2017
To My Best Friend
Liz Carlson Aug 2017
You're the light in my darkness.
You can always make me smile.
We've laughed together,
and cried together.

We're miles apart,
but we're always in sync.
You'll always be in my heart,
no matter how distant we may become.

You've impacted me like no other friend.
You're my partner in crime,
You're my best friend,
You're my sister.

We talk about anything and everything,
nothing is off limits.
I tell you all my secrets and you entrust me with yours.
I treasure our time together,
even if we're just being lazy.

You'll always have my heart,
no matter how far apart we may be.
I love you forever.
422 · Nov 2015
The Changing Wind
Liz Carlson Nov 2015
A gentle breeze on a late summer night sways the trees lightly.
Winter comes and with it, change.
Cold, strong wind, dying plants, snow.
The new wind picks up speed and makes the trees follow it's path.
A plastic bag flies up to the sky and comes down with a harsh blow.
Who will it reach?
What does it carry on its journey?
Maybe it carries a letter, or maybe it is simply empty.
This wind can be harsh and brutal,
but it can also be light and gentle.
It can bring new adventures and it can force change upon its grand journey.
419 · Dec 2017
arms of love.
Liz Carlson Dec 2017
she held the greatest capacity for love
he had ever seen,
for her heart had been shattered
more times than she could count.

she told him to stay away,
for she feared the love of another man.
though that didn't stop
the evident spark between the two.

she finally jumped
into the arms of love,
and forever they will
dance in the dark
to the sound of slow jazz.

pulling their bodies apart,
and their hearts together once more.
408 · Mar 2018
falling in love.
Liz Carlson Mar 2018
i think im falling in love with you,
for ive never felt this way before.

i miss you all the time
and i know your mind so well.

i know when you're being a goofball
and when you're being honest.

i know how deeply you care for your family
and friends, though you may never admit it.

i know you're scared of getting hurt,
so love frightens you.

but i know when you will fall in love,
though it may not be with me,
you'll be just perfect.
402 · Aug 2018
.obsession.
Liz Carlson Aug 2018
i long for the body i used to have.
strong and fierce.

obsessing over my weight
and the food i consume
comes far too easily.

can't be mentally stable and healthy,
can't be happy and healthy.

no solution.
that Se function in INFJs though... OBSESSIVE.
398 · Mar 2018
dead end.
Liz Carlson Mar 2018
these walls are crashing down,
along with my tears.
with all the strength within me
i tried to hold it in,
but truth is,
you can't be there for me anymore.

this is long overdue,
and this feeling inside has started to rot.
i hate to break your heart,
but mine is already broken.
still want to hold you close,
but i can't keep holding you,
while you hold someone else.
breaking up with a friend
398 · Jul 2017
That Girl
Liz Carlson Jul 2017
I look at that girl,
the one in the mirror.
Is that really me?

That girl with the sore eyes.
The one with a broken smile.
What happened to her?

Then I remember all the pain.
All the nights she cried herself to sleep.
All the nights she couldn't even close her eyes.
All those days spent looking at a screen,
envying the girls that were living.

She longed for that,
for a connection.
But she feared vulnerability and honesty.

So she stayed cooped in her tower of her making.
Spending her days in deep sorrow.
Is this how to live?
398 · Mar 2019
pleasing others
Liz Carlson Mar 2019
she tries so hard to please others
when all that matters in the end
is that she pleases her Heavenly Father
and brings glory to His name
all else will fall away
392 · Jan 2018
youthful heart.
Liz Carlson Jan 2018
Every day I feel my body getting older,
my soul wiser,
but the way my heart breaks
shows me I will forever have a youthful heart.
384 · Oct 2017
we messed this up.
Liz Carlson Oct 2017
we messed this up.
years of knowing you
and we've never really talked.
we're practically strangers
that see each other so often.

we messed this up.
we could have been something
more than this.
but I'm leaving soon
and this game will end.

we really messed this up.
384 · Nov 2017
her life.
Liz Carlson Nov 2017
her life spent on
regrets and fears.

she never noticed
her true value.

she let others
decide her fate.

boys came and
left her in pieces.

until a man came.

he took her pieces,
put them back together.

even better than before.

she lived by faith,
not by sight.

she was free
from her past.
383 · Jun 2019
Faithful God
Liz Carlson Jun 2019
Lord, thank you.
You've shown me once again Your faithfulness and love for me.

I prayed a simple prayer in the morning air with desperate lips.
No more than a week later, you started answering it.

You've brought new joy, peace, and laughter in my life.
New men that have taught me that I'm valued and worthy of love and affection.

Thank you, Lord, for these new friends and your love for me.

I pray that You'd keep my heart pure.
Keep these friendships simple and sweet.
No alternative feelings or complications.

Let us be glad in the joy of friendship, and let that be enough for my wandering heart.

Keep my intentions true, Father, and protect us as we grow closer.
Cover us with wisdom and prudence as we move forward.

Thank you, Lord.
383 · Mar 2018
unsafe.
Liz Carlson Mar 2018
you talk about trust,
and then betray it.

you talk about love,
and then destroy it.

you talk about friendship,
and never give it a chance.

and
every time
im the one crying
on my bedroom floor.
no one to hold,
no one to see me.
375 · Feb 2018
all things must end.
Liz Carlson Feb 2018
all things must end,
but i didn't expect it so soon.

this love so strong,
but hearts grow distant.

you think all is fine,
but it just isn't right anymore.

all things must end,
even you and I.
365 · Nov 2017
gratitude.
Liz Carlson Nov 2017
a simple thing called gratitude
all starts with your attitude.

having a thankful heart
can set you apart.

notice what you've been given,
and start forgivin'.
363 · Jul 2019
done.
Liz Carlson Jul 2019
sometimes i'm done with life.
overwhelmed by the darkness,
a crushed soul still searching for the light,
but its hard to find at times.

i'm told not to give up,
but that's all i want to do.

i'm so young,
it's such a shame,
but i just wanna be done with this painful life.
360 · Aug 2018
.love.
Liz Carlson Aug 2018
i crave love so badly,
the soft touch of a hand on mine,
sweet eyes gazing into my soul.

yet, i fear it.

every guy who shows interest
is repaid with silence and distance.
though i might feel the same,
the prospect of love scares me.
my mind and feelings are a mess right now.
360 · May 2017
Goodbyes
Liz Carlson May 2017
Every time I say "goodbye",
my chest aches and I feel hopeless.
Will I ever see you again?
Was this even worth all the pain?

As I think of our journey together,
my head fills with regret;
while my heart feels empty and heavy.
I almost forget how to breathe.

In the end I know it was worth the fight,
but why does such a wonderful ride have to hurt so much?
I trust that life will bring us together again,
but my doubt leaves me with sorrowful sighs.
359 · Nov 2017
the complainers.
Liz Carlson Nov 2017
all they do is complain,
that life is such a pain.
all these things in vain,
please just refrain.
350 · Jul 2017
Holding On
Liz Carlson Jul 2017
I try to see your face,
but there's not a trace.
I remember your sweet smile,
but the rest is futile.
I remember those days,
but it's just a haze.
I know it wasn't meant to be,
but you meant a lot to me.
I'm still holding on,
until the next dawn.
Then, I'll move on.
342 · Mar 2018
crappy times.
Liz Carlson Mar 2018
you see me with a smile
on my face and
making sarcastic remarks.

i must be perfectly okay.

yet im still thinking about 10 minutes ago,
when i was letting my pillow
soak up all my tears.

i was the girl laying on my
bedroom floor,
the same song on repeat.

tears come and go,
but the pain lingers.
340 · Apr 2018
tsunami
Liz Carlson Apr 2018
like a tsunami,
it all hits me so hard.

so much to do,
but no motivation.

so alone,
yet I see faces every day.

i'm stuck in a tsunami,
with no way out.

pulls me further,
pulls me deeper.

how did i get in?
how do i get out?
338 · Mar 2018
God in the Silence
Liz Carlson Mar 2018
Staring out into the cold abyss,
longing for all I miss.
This fear swallows me whole,
but you my Lord, take control.
You hold me so very close,
and my fear becomes a ghost.
My tears slowly decrease,
as my soul finds its peace.
Hold me in your arms all my days,
and teach me all your wondrous ways.
When searching for guidance,
I will always find You in the silence.
330 · Feb 2021
plaguing thoughts
Liz Carlson Feb 2021
i don't like myself like this
i feel useless to those around me
like a burden and a neusence.

even when he tells me he loves me,
i find reasons why he can't possibly
or give excuses in my head why he'd say such a thing.

i don't like that i tell myself all these things daily,
but i don't think i'm worth fixing my mental thoughts for.

my sensitivity lately, my anxiety, my depressed days,
i feel like a mess.

i know God uses us,
brokenness and all,
but it feels terrible.

i feel unmotivated,
undeserving of love,
a *****-up,
a burden after all.
328 · Jun 2019
the times
Liz Carlson Jun 2019
My, how everything has changed.
Younger me wouldn't even recognize who I am now.
Is that good or bad?
I can't be sure.

Friends I thought I'd never lose,
I'm now watching slip away.

New friends take my hand and join me on this wild ride.
I'm the one to initiate conversations, who am I?

I have guy friends, and I love them so.
Some guys even have feelings for me, but never the right ones.
Still, little me would be in awe.

I thought I would've figured out this faith thing by now,
but sure enough, it's still a struggle.

I've overcome so much, yet peace rarely overcomes my soul.
I sure wish it would, though.
320 · Dec 2018
.aching heart.
Liz Carlson Dec 2018
heart aching
breaking
everytime you leave me on read.

i know you're busy,
but i remember a time
when you'd reply within seconds.

did i mess this up?
what happened?

and

can we please go back to those summertime dreams?
320 · Nov 2017
starting over.
Liz Carlson Nov 2017
my love for you
drowned me inside.

i can feel the water seeping
back into my bones.

we're starting over again,
although we both know it's far too late.
318 · Oct 2017
Young and Free
Liz Carlson Oct 2017
As soon as I walked into the room,
I felt the beat in my heart.
The temperature rising,
the floor shaking.

I felt all the energy in the room,
it was incredible.
The lights burning oh so bright on our faces,
while we looked at each other with such excitement.

We danced 'til we dropped.
We sang 'til we couldn't.
We laughed 'til we cried.
We held on to each other so tight.
We were alive.
318 · Aug 2018
.desperate.
Liz Carlson Aug 2018
that desperate cry in the night,
so soft nobody noticed.

one for safety,
liberation from nightmares,
freedom from the pain.

crawling out of bed,
only to see the sun decided
not to shine today either.

she knows her Father is out there,
but she can't feel Him there anymore.

she can't feel the hope,
the light shining through the darkness.

a hope she clung to so tightly
just days before,
is nowhere to be seen amongst the agony.
318 · Feb 2018
this electricity.
Liz Carlson Feb 2018
this electricity clenching my bones,
these fireworks filling my head,
these jumping bunnies in my feet,
this excitement,
this enthusiasm,
it's filling every inch of my body and soul.
EXCITED
314 · Nov 2017
I want more.
Liz Carlson Nov 2017
I want more from this life than the same old patterns.
I'm sick of this drive for success and acknowledgment.
In the end, it doesn't even matter.

I want to feel the earth beneath my feet.
I want to discover all there is.
I want more.

All your words, slowly ******* me in.
Convincing my soul to die.
I give into your lies, that success is the basis of life.
My soul will never die, however.
I will always want more.
Sick of this society ******* my creativity out.
311 · Jul 2015
You
Liz Carlson Jul 2015
You
You.
I stare at you from afar, but do you even know my name?
You've spoken to me only twice.
But those moments were golden.
There's something about you that I can't get my eyes off of.
You.
You're funny.
You're an artist.
If you only knew me.
I'm not asking you to date me, I just want you to know me.
But every time I see you, my heart stops for a minute.
You're not the hottest guy.
You're not the smartest, either.
But you're you.
You.
Every time I hear your voice, I stop.
Every time I hear your name, I think of you.
If you only knew me...
307 · Feb 2015
Love
Liz Carlson Feb 2015
Love is slow,
Love is kind,
Love is the only thing you need in your life.
306 · Jul 2019
let the sorrow begin
Liz Carlson Jul 2019
here it comes
the goodbyes drowning my eyes
word by word.
still 3 more weeks,
yet the pain has already been here for weeks.

i try to enjoy every moment,
but my nostalgic soul can't help but think about
the pain, loss, and memories.

it'll never be the same,
maybe that's okay,
but it's so so good,
and i don't want it to change.

i'm avoiding the pain inside
filling my days with plans and words
it worked for a while,
until the pain hit me like a ton of bricks
right in the face.
goodbye.
soon to come
but the sorrow has already begun
301 · Jun 2020
wondering
Liz Carlson Jun 2020
sometimes i wonder if ill ever find that one guy,
the one who will hold me tight on the darkest nights,
the one who wont judge me for who I was and sometimes still am,
the one to laugh with til we're both in tears on a Friday night.

I'm not asking for "the one", my night and shining armor,
just a good guy who'll love me and God right.

there are so many good guys, but none seem quite right.
and I don't think that's me being picky.

so maybe ill never find that guy,
and I'm trying to deal with that fact.
to find comfort in your arms alone, Father.
because at the end of the day, You're all I need.
but that fear and daunting thought still persists.
297 · Jul 2017
Moving On
Liz Carlson Jul 2017
Every time I see your face,
My heart beats a little faster.
Every time I hear your words,
It's like I've gone back in time.
We're not meant to be,
So why can't I just move on?
I started depending on you too much,
and now part of me feels like it's missing.
You taught me things about myself and the world.
I can never thank you enough.
You introduced me to new sounds,
that now make me think of you.
My heart aches for what we had,
But we can't go back.
Moving on.
293 · Jan 2018
unkown.
Liz Carlson Jan 2018
this simple concept,
can bring clarity to all
or it can sting like a bee.

so simple in nature,
yet so hard to deliver.
what a mystery.
Hm. What is it?
291 · Aug 2017
I seek You
Liz Carlson Aug 2017
Time and time again I've failed you,
but you have never forsaken me.
You've always been there watching over me.
Your hand extended out to me to offer help,
but I never took the help.
I always wanted to live on my own terms.

But I've changed, through You.
I seek for help and guidance.
I seek for a relationship with you.
Much more than singing words for show,
and attending services to be a good person.

I seek to be more like You.
I seek to grow in You.
I seek to sing with passion for You.
I seek to live a life full of compassion and love.
I seek You.
287 · Apr 2017
Young Again
Liz Carlson Apr 2017
My heart becomes heavy,
as the children dance and I watch in envy.
Little do they know that fear is deadly,
they just throw confetti.
Oh, how I wish I could turn back time,
to play with dolls without it being a crime.
Back when I didn't have a care in the world,
and I just twirled.
Back when it was easy to make a friend,
now all relationships end.
I worry about my future,
and think back on when life was smoother.
This is my first rhyming poem.
286 · Dec 2017
summer nostalgia
Liz Carlson Dec 2017
starry skies
and sad eyes.
growing old
on memories we hold.
never want to leave.
never want to stay.
283 · Apr 2019
.a. pt II.
Liz Carlson Apr 2019
i don't know what to do with us.
talking is a painful reminder of all that we lost,
and all that we could have been.

but not talking, doesn't seem right either.

you were a constant in my life for so long,
and now we're just drifting apart at sea.

maybe it's time,
but that doesn't seem to make it any easier.

was it all worth it?
i'm not sure.
would i do it all over again?
probably.
281 · Nov 2017
bluebird
Liz Carlson Nov 2017
bluebird sings in the morning,
wakes me with his voice.
he left with no such warning,
not a word, no noise.

pretty bluebird, come back.
i miss your beautiful sound.
i'm waiting for your attack.
someday you will be found.
280 · Oct 2017
All Alone
Liz Carlson Oct 2017
All alone.
No parents.
Goodbyes just said.

Already close to tears.
And you brought me to them.
Made me feel like crap for caring about you.
No one to comfort me.
All alone.

You try to explain yourself.
But the tears and screams have already passed.
No one to hold me.
Only illusions.
All alone.
279 · Feb 2018
tradition
Liz Carlson Feb 2018
you're too stuck on tradition to see it's killing you,
like a moth attracted to the light,
you'll never stop.

we try to help you,
but you keep going back to what you know.

you're not worth the fight if you won't change,
it hurts to say,
but this is goodbye
my friend.
PASSIVE PEOPLE WHO WON'T CHANGE. arg.
277 · Oct 2017
silly you.
Liz Carlson Oct 2017
first, it was me,
I could never speak to you.
my nerves were on fire
and my mind would go blank.
until I got over silly you.
I realized you're in love with yourself,
and all you are is a pretty face.

then, it was you.
you started acting differently.
still pretending to be something you're not.
now I catch you staring at me.

silly you.
I wish this loup could end.
this silly little game.
let's just be strangers again.
271 · Feb 2018
really listen
Liz Carlson Feb 2018
what drives me crazy
is how people interact.

we all listen to reply,
not to understand.

we listen to share our
experiences instead of
just being there for that person.

next time you interact
with someone,
try to really listen.
270 · Jul 2017
Sore Eyes
Liz Carlson Jul 2017
So many sad faces.
Sore eyes and broken smiles.

It seems the older you get,
the more your eyes become dim.
The more your smile sags.
The more your eyes ache to close.

Why can't we all just take a moment?
A moment to look around
and enjoy this world we've been given.

There's a lot of pain in this world.
But there's so much joy as well.

A child's laugh.
Feeling the flowers.
Staring at the stars.
Falling in love.
Dancing in solitude like a maniac.
Laughing at yourself.

So much joy,
but we focus on the pain.

So many sore eyes and broken smiles
on seemingly happy faces.
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