Aug 17 · 165
.love.
Liz Carlson Aug 17
i crave love so badly,
the soft touch of a hand on mine,
sweet eyes gazing into my soul.

yet, i fear it.

every guy who shows interest
is repaid with silence and distance.
though i might feel the same,
the prospect of love scares me.
my mind and feelings are a mess right now.
Aug 14 · 101
.obsession.
Liz Carlson Aug 14
i long for the body i used to have.
strong and fierce.

obsessing over my weight
and the food i consume
comes far too easily.

can't be mentally stable and healthy,
can't be happy and healthy.

no solution.
that Se function in INFJs though... OBSESSIVE.
Aug 14 · 218
.who they see.
Liz Carlson Aug 14
they all tell me
i'm soft,
calm,
a peaceful presence,
someone to turn to for comfort,
a shoulder to lean on,
a warm hug,
selfless,
inviting,
deep,
happy,
and so much more that i only get a glimpse of
once in a million moments.
Aug 10 · 164
.desperate.
Liz Carlson Aug 10
that desperate cry in the night,
so soft nobody noticed.

one for safety,
liberation from nightmares,
freedom from the pain.

crawling out of bed,
only to see the sun decided
not to shine today either.

she knows her Father is out there,
but she can't feel Him there anymore.

she can't feel the hope,
the light shining through the darkness.

a hope she clung to so tightly
just days before,
is nowhere to be seen amongst the agony.
Jul 22 · 189
use me.
Liz Carlson Jul 22
When all energy is drained from my body,
when my bones creak and crack
and my body has no strength;
I put my trust in You.
I trust that You will use me for Your glory.

Father, use me when I don't feel usable.

All you require is my faithfulness and trust,
then you restore me.

Lord, use me when I don't feel usable.

When I'm broken down and life isn't perfect,
use me even then.
When my flaws and scars are evident to all,
use me especially then.

King, use me when I don't feel usable.

When my heart is broken, and I reject you;
even then use me to bring glory to Your kingdom.

Savior, use me when I don't feel usable.
Jun 4 · 79
my kaite
Liz Carlson Jun 4
from across the room,
there she is,
still a ray of sunshine.

we run towards each other
and hug so tightly,
our smiles ever so wide.

we drive around,
music playing,
with the sun shining
through the trees.

we walk around and
catch up on a year
of life events.

i realize how much has
changed in our lives,
yet we're still great friends.

we link arms
and share our
memories together,
from so long ago,
yet so clear in our minds.

we talk about the future
and put each other in it,
knowing or hoping
we'll always be friends.
Apr 27 · 103
this loneliness.
Liz Carlson Apr 27
this loneliness overwhelms me,
it took hold of my heart
and won't let go.

its not the kind that can
be cured with a
touch of a friend.

its the kind that fills
you with cold
every time someone
reaches out.

its the kind you
can't imagine living without.
its the kind that
you fear will never leave.
its the kind
you don't know
how to cure.

still, you live your life,
you put on a smile
and lie,
as the loneliness slowly
swallows you whole.
Apr 13 · 127
tsunami
Liz Carlson Apr 13
like a tsunami,
it all hits me so hard.

so much to do,
but no motivation.

so alone,
yet I see faces every day.

i'm stuck in a tsunami,
with no way out.

pulls me further,
pulls me deeper.

how did i get in?
how do i get out?
Apr 10 · 225
16 Going On 17
Liz Carlson Apr 10
Honestly,
I've exhausted "16".
So much has happened.
So much good, so much sorrow.
I've grown so much,
not in height,
but in strength and confidence.
Hopefully a bit wiser
and definitely more thankful.

Usually, I'm sad at this point,
but not this year.
I look back on this past year with a smile.
It was the best year yet,
so 17,
bring it on.
Sound of Music reference anyone? ;)
Mar 29 · 71
too frickin' nice.
Liz Carlson Mar 29
"it's okay"
"i understand"

why am i so frickin nice?
constantly repeating these words
while my heart shatters silently.
i'm too nice y'all.
Mar 29 · 98
dead end.
Liz Carlson Mar 29
these walls are crashing down,
along with my tears.
with all the strength within me
i tried to hold it in,
but truth is,
you can't be there for me anymore.

this is long overdue,
and this feeling inside has started to rot.
i hate to break your heart,
but mine is already broken.
still want to hold you close,
but i can't keep holding you,
while you hold someone else.
breaking up with a friend
Mar 22 · 96
crappy times.
Liz Carlson Mar 22
you see me with a smile
on my face and
making sarcastic remarks.

i must be perfectly okay.

yet im still thinking about 10 minutes ago,
when i was letting my pillow
soak up all my tears.

i was the girl laying on my
bedroom floor,
the same song on repeat.

tears come and go,
but the pain lingers.
Mar 22 · 152
unsafe.
Liz Carlson Mar 22
you talk about trust,
and then betray it.

you talk about love,
and then destroy it.

you talk about friendship,
and never give it a chance.

and
every time
im the one crying
on my bedroom floor.
no one to hold,
no one to see me.
Mar 19 · 99
empty friend.
Liz Carlson Mar 19
we said we'd be friends forever,
but now you're holding him
before you hold me.

i guess "friends first"
just wasn't for you.

i still tell you everything,
but the trust has vanished.

and after all,
what's friendship without trust?

i act like everything is fine,
though i know what's wrong.

i'm your shoulder,
i'm your best friend,
but you are just an empty friend.
Mar 16 · 117
vagabond.
Liz Carlson Mar 16
ive traveled here and there.
ive seen incredible works of art
and pieces of history
scattered across the globe.

never will i know "home",
never will i fully belong,
never will i not miss someone.

a life full of adventures
and new faces,
i wouldn't trade it for anything.

the pain is always there,
but the memories will never fade.
joy will always abound
in the hope for the future
and the days of the past.

being a world traveler,
a vagabond,
has its troubles.
but the rewards make
it well worth it.
Mar 16 · 238
falling in love.
Liz Carlson Mar 16
i think im falling in love with you,
for ive never felt this way before.

i miss you all the time
and i know your mind so well.

i know when you're being a goofball
and when you're being honest.

i know how deeply you care for your family
and friends, though you may never admit it.

i know you're scared of getting hurt,
so love frightens you.

but i know when you will fall in love,
though it may not be with me,
you'll be just perfect.
Mar 15 · 72
drowning
Liz Carlson Mar 15
oh im drowning
far below
you don't see it
but i know
its there

shallow water
never seemed so
deep
carry me under
keep me captive

no one knows
im gone
and thats
the torture of it all

move with the current
or you're
forever lost
can't go that way
don't you know

oh we're all drowning
far below
we don't see it
but we know

we're forever lost
in the current.
it reels you in
and never let's go.
Mar 8 · 103
my chaotic brain.
Liz Carlson Mar 8
its a jungle up here,
full of "what-ifs" and expectations,
you'll always get lost in there,
i should know.
all roads lead to nowhere
and all happy thoughts
are turned to sad ones.
always thinking with
my heart,
which leads to pain.
it's a mad world,
my brain.
Mar 8 · 133
safe in his arms.
Liz Carlson Mar 8
the storm shakes my bones,
i see it from afar,
but your calm voice keeps me safe,
for i know who you are.
you tuck me into your strong arms,
but you're as distant as a star.
Liz Carlson Mar 6
losing my heart for careless boys,
losing my soul for earthly desires.

the pain, the pain,
it rushes in like a flood.
never ceasing,
ever flowing.

this life is a test,
get past it and
eternal life awaits.

the struggle is temporary,
yet oh so constant.
Mar 5 · 77
unspoken tears.
Liz Carlson Mar 5
those dreaded words slip off my lips again,
oh why does this keep happening?
i open up my heart just to feel more pain,
by now this wound is far too deep.

"i love you",
i say a million times,
"i'll see you soon",
i hope it's not a lie,
"goodbye",
i say with deep agony.

our final words,
lets make them count.
our final breaths,
let's not waste them.

goodbye, my friend.
Mar 3 · 206
God in the Silence
Liz Carlson Mar 3
Staring out into the cold abyss,
longing for all I miss.
This fear swallows me whole,
but you my Lord, take control.
You hold me so very close,
and my fear becomes a ghost.
My tears slowly decrease,
as my soul finds its peace.
Hold me in your arms all my days,
and teach me all your wondrous ways.
When searching for guidance,
I will always find You in the silence.
Feb 23 · 104
this electricity.
Liz Carlson Feb 23
this electricity clenching my bones,
these fireworks filling my head,
these jumping bunnies in my feet,
this excitement,
this enthusiasm,
it's filling every inch of my body and soul.
EXCITED
Feb 12 · 148
all things must end.
Liz Carlson Feb 12
all things must end,
but i didn't expect it so soon.

this love so strong,
but hearts grow distant.

you think all is fine,
but it just isn't right anymore.

all things must end,
even you and I.
Feb 11 · 123
tradition
Liz Carlson Feb 11
you're too stuck on tradition to see it's killing you,
like a moth attracted to the light,
you'll never stop.

we try to help you,
but you keep going back to what you know.

you're not worth the fight if you won't change,
it hurts to say,
but this is goodbye
my friend.
PASSIVE PEOPLE WHO WON'T CHANGE. arg.
Feb 11 · 98
really listen
Liz Carlson Feb 11
what drives me crazy
is how people interact.

we all listen to reply,
not to understand.

we listen to share our
experiences instead of
just being there for that person.

next time you interact
with someone,
try to really listen.
Feb 5 · 315
my friend, nostalgia.
Liz Carlson Feb 5
im constantly caught up in the past,
in the what-ifs,
in the what-could-have-beens.

the future scares me,
so i retreat to nostalgia.
my favorite friend.

she makes my heart so sad,
yet so full of joy.
Feb 5 · 104
regrets
Liz Carlson Feb 5
they follow me,
all the little things I did wrong,
all the things I wish I did.

constantly buzzing in my ear,
they never leave,
and I'm afraid I'll never be brave enough to let go.
to move on and realize it's okay.

regrets are just mistakes we wish we could change.
Jan 26 · 403
goodbye to myself.
Liz Carlson Jan 26
my life has become one of those dreams,
where you watch yourself screw up from afar.
everything's perfect, everything's fine.
i speak those lies, for i can't even explain what it is.
all i can say is, i can feel myself slipping away.
i'm leaving myself behind,
goodbye.
to.
myself.
it's been weird...
Jan 26 · 429
slowly dying
Liz Carlson Jan 26
you don't know it,
but my heart is slowly dying.

each day with no reply,
i can't even breathe.

i try to act normal,
but everything is a mess now.

you're too busy for me,
and i'm not enough for you.

i should let go,
but i need you tonight.
Jan 26 · 78
foolish love.
Liz Carlson Jan 26
i willingly dove in,
knowing my heart would
bleed and shatter.

for your eyes were as blue
as the sea, and your smile;
the sweetest one i'd seen.
Jan 24 · 118
unkown.
Liz Carlson Jan 24
this simple concept,
can bring clarity to all
or it can sting like a bee.

so simple in nature,
yet so hard to deliver.
what a mystery.
Hm. What is it?
Jan 23 · 107
hidden belief.
Liz Carlson Jan 23
afraid of rejection,
waiting constantly
for a "right" time.
just speak truth
into their lives;
it's always the
right time to
do that.
Jan 22 · 98
forbidden feeling.
Liz Carlson Jan 22
this forbidden feeling,
so strong,
yet so wrong.

it could end all we've built,
it could break our hearts.

it could leave us breathless,
it could make our hearts ever so glad.
stupid feelings...
Jan 22 · 112
i love you.
Liz Carlson Jan 22
those three little words,
they warm my heart
like no others.

saying them for the first time
gives me butterflies,
hoping you feel the same.
Jan 21 · 113
youthful heart.
Liz Carlson Jan 21
Every day I feel my body getting older,
my soul wiser,
but the way my heart breaks
shows me I will forever have a youthful heart.
Liz Carlson Jan 13
love is more than a feeling,
it's an action.

it's being there for someone,
it's showing them how much you care.

you still love me,
i know this.
but you aren't loving me.

i still need you,
after it all.

you don't need me,
i know this.

but how can i let go
when i love you so?
Jan 13 · 102
so cold.
Liz Carlson Jan 13
"it's so cold in there now",
"where?" he asks,
"in your eyes".
Jan 11 · 63
things left behind.
Liz Carlson Jan 11
worn out faces,
empty spaces,
and
burned out places.

nowhere to turn,
so much to learn,
and
only money to earn.
Tryin this rhyming thing.
Jan 11 · 469
broken love story.
Liz Carlson Jan 11
at first glance,
they were strangers.
but they knew they'd be much
more than that to one another.

time flew as
the sparks grew,
nothing could
hold them apart.

their love was invincible,
until the day it wasn't.
their trust in one another
died with all the lies.

now their story is
just a distant memory.
their broken hearts mended
and learned to love others
the way they should have
loved each other.
Jan 11 · 79
broken.
Liz Carlson Jan 11
in some way,
we're all broken.

begging for comfort
and some medication
to relieve us of the pain.

we've all been shattered
into a million pieces
and felt like nothing.

we're all broken,
after all.
Jan 11 · 71
honesty
Liz Carlson Jan 11
honestly,
what's the point of honesty
if no one listens?
Jan 5 · 376
numb.
Liz Carlson Jan 5
no feelings,
no emotions.

i should be sad.
i should be happy.

lonely tears drowning me inside and
memories of countless shared laughs.

all i feel is numb.
not a single tear to meet my cheek.
when does it end?
Jan 3 · 130
another love poem.
Liz Carlson Jan 3
true colors show//with time on our side.
fingers touch//hearts race.
my mind goes wild//how wonderful you are.
miss you already//searching for a way back.
do you feel the same//just friends just won't do, this time.
Jan 3 · 91
take a chance.
Liz Carlson Jan 3
i took a chance,
and look where i am.

each moment, slowly
gravitating closer
and closer.

friends
or more,
i don't regret it.
Jan 3 · 93
let me in.
Liz Carlson Jan 3
such a familiar face,
yet so much to discover.

let me place my fingers
on your heart.
let me lay in your arms.

let me open up your mind,
let me see your heart.

just let me in.
Jan 3 · 74
special friends
Liz Carlson Jan 3
first days of the new year
spent with all of you.
so many laughs,
almost tears.
distance can't separate us,
time can't change us.
Dec 2017 · 65
2017
Liz Carlson Dec 2017
Through all the tears and the smiles,
You were always there for me.
I let you in, and You helped me bloom into a stunning flower.
Joyful in everything and ready to keep growing.
I learned the value of patience, friendship, courage, and self-love.
Through it all, You guided me through.
All the scary, new adventures; I wasn't truly scared for I had You by my side.
Lord, take my heart and shape it to look like yours more and more this coming year as well.
Let me be kind and hopeful in all I do.
Let me be more like You.
Dec 2017 · 89
all so temporary
Liz Carlson Dec 2017
this life we live is so temporary,
it's what makes it so special
and heartbreaking.
Dec 2017 · 262
arms of love.
Liz Carlson Dec 2017
she held the greatest capacity for love
he had ever seen,
for her heart had been shattered
more times than she could count.

she told him to stay away,
for she feared the love of another man.
though that didn't stop
the evident spark between the two.

she finally jumped
into the arms of love,
and forever they will
dance in the dark
to the sound of slow jazz.

pulling their bodies apart,
and their hearts together once more.
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