A few days ago
the ground shook.
No damage happened,
I though I was fine.
I was wrong.
50 feet of water
50 feet of fear
50 feet of regret
50 feet of 'I should've done more'
She tricked me.
Calling me to come closer,
luring me into her trap.
I can't be mad though,
it's my fault I fell for her.
Maybe this is for the best.
Last few minutes of life
to cleanse me of sin,
to understand what I did wrong.
Thank you ma'am.
I'll make no attempt to escape.
I'll embrace you, west ocean.
Here where the moon is scarce
and the stars are dull.
Late at night
when the moon is scarce
and the stars are dull,
the west ocean will softly,
beckon you closer.
But please don't trust her,
for its a trap.
Once you're close enough,
she'll take you.
My apprehension follows me wherever I go
And points out all of the possibilities of everything
To a point
Where it hurts.
As much as I entertain the fact that these possibilities are mutable,
But then apprehension whispers in my ear
sneering and squeaking like nails against a chalkboard
"How about a 10:1"
That provoking sentence elicits a tsunami of voices
Well-what-ifs and I-know-buts mostly.
The possibilities seem to grow larger and larger as more evidence is provided that in the next moment of my existence any of these thousands of things can happen! Or better yet, they all happen at once!
The power outages from this flood leave me in a panic
I start to stagger my breathing and sometimes forget to breathe at all.
The rain pours down around my eyes and the thunder rolls around my mouth.
I no longer have control over this storm that's heading south.
And then the storm cools off,
breathing naturally comes again
And I calm down from an attack of rain
And voices in my head.
Apprehension needs a break, but they never gets disheartened
So they tag along on my back and grasps tightly onto my chest and lungs
It's going to be a long walk if I carry this thing around.
Again my apprehension is near,
But this time it's words
"There are 10 chances it could go to Hell, and one chance it won't so make your choice."
Those screeching words
Have made me deaf,
I can no longer hear,
The world around me.
Just that screeching voice
Right now, the only thing,
that's keeping me sane
is the sound, of the heavy drops
leaking from the damaged tap
As it falls into the tub
The sound pounds and pounds
on and soaks my hollow head
It drips from the
cracks on my scalp
drip by drip into my mind
My mind is drenched
My thoughts can't swim
There's a tsunami in my mind
a floating disaster
but you can't see
The surging water threw strange shapes,
Waiting crows with stabbing beaks
In the sky and in the drowned souls,
Festering in the swell.
The huge irrepressible waves
Spread wings flattening houses with a single downward swipe.
It was a sudden death,
They died screaming-avidly watched by millions nestling before TV sets
Unmoved if sympathetic.
They had watched enough CGI
Not to be bothered by such drama.
The girl quietly combed her hair,
Bitter black in the lamplight,
Watching the snarling fox shoot from its lair
Slathering with fright.
As she lifted her arm again
The salt spray struck her, flattening her face
The wave soothed where her smile had been
Her limbs acquiring a greater grace.
It sucked in cars and houses, gulping down
The unresistant landscape with unforgiving speed,
Turning the living green into regurgitated brown
Digesting the landscape with orgasmic greed
It drew her little body back into the equalising sea
Just another bit of debris.
I'm so deep in the water that reaching the surface wasn't an option anymore
So suffocated by the abuse and pressure of the waves that eventually I give in and ride with them.
At first the salt water burned on the open wounds, but then they went numb and eventually I didn't feel the ache anymore.
After coming to the conclusion that there was no way out, it didn't even feel like I was drowning anymore.
I let go of the tsunami and let myself drown in the violent storm, because I would rather ride out the storm with you then enjoy the sunshine with anyone else.