in the name
of god
i was
demonized.

i bled tears
from lashes
of the
outrage of
my mother
who recited
verses
when i was
buttered.

my cries
echoed
in the
hollow walls
of my
father's
beating heart
as he
uttered
blasphemous
monologue.

it was not
sin
i was
absolved of,
but rather
of love
that i
desperately
needed.

the day came
when i thought
that Love
wouldn't come
knocking
on my door.

i opened it,
expecting
my knight
in shining armour,
but all i saw
was a mirror
and a goddess
holding it up
to me.

she was smiling,
even if
my flaws
were brought
to light.

here,
here,
and here.

she said,
what a beautiful
being i am.

shining her
light
upon the shadows,
all i saw
was a hurt child,
wanting to be
loved
and feel loved.

she embraced me
as i embraced
myself.

love.
She changed me.

how saddening
is it
to know that
the form of love
we yearn for the most
is something of
equal value
with its other kinds?

how dare
the media
the people
the society
***** my mind
with such lies
that romance
is not all
bells
and whistles
of mankind?

her body shines
and twinkles
under the moonlight.

her hair cascades
over the sheets
and into oblivion.

her hands bring forth
a beautiful melody
of pleasure
derived from pain.

back arching like the sunset
over the sparkling sea--

"come before me."

you keep being told
that you are
worthy of love,
but you keep
on refusing
what you deserve
because all that
you've ever known
is pain.

confounded
and always so lost,
you don't even know
if shedding your
years of tears
is worth spilling
onto the floor.

inflicting pain on your own,
before anyone else does.

no matter how much
i try to keep
holding on,
change my ways,
and look in the
******* mirror
that i hate so much,
i just can't see
a different
kind of me.

crying myself
to the temporary
peace of slumber,
sometimes i wish
it would last
forever and ever.

don't you get
too close,
for i lose all
common sense
when i no longer
see the light.

i'm sorry.

you lurk within
and stay between
the things
that i say
and even
the things
that i do.

you show up
whenever
i hold my standards
way too high
for others
yet give excuses
for when i
fail in the eyes
of the world.

you say that
you protect me
from the dangers,
but i say
that you're a child
who has been hurt
over and over
that you have
built walls
and a throne
that is false.

the darkness
is what we humans
tend to fear,
yet it an aspect
that lies within
every each and one
of us,
for we are all
souls craving
everything material
but nothing
spiritual.

sometimes,
i just don't know
how to get
other people
to listen to me
in return.

i give them
all my time,
all my love,
all my attention,
yet it just
feels like
i don't get
reciprocated
the same way
enough.

i need
a listening ear
and a shoulder
to cry on, too,
you know?

please
help me.

judgement
is something
we know
that must be
done fairly
and given
an unbiased
answer.

he inscribed onto
the scrolls,
every action
that affects
the history that
we make,
for lessons
to be learnt.

the truth will always
have its way
of unfolding among
the people
heavily.

she watches over
those who
plan carefully
and strategically
for the battle
that they
are about to
face within
and about.

overseer of
those pursuing
knowledge,
wit, and wisdom
scattered among
books or
in your everyday
life.

a goddess of
thorough thinking who
has always been
enabling victory
now influences the worthy
abundantly.

warmth and
kindness is
embodied
in the flames
that keep you
from tripping
in the dark.

it can protect
as well as
keep you
away from
being harmed.

her loving and
everlasting glow
shall be
touching to those
invited to stay
at a place called home.

it was on
this very day,
that one
among eight
shining stars
was allowed
to grace
upon the
earth.

a soul
whose passion
lies heavily
on music
and the arts.

they truly are
a beautiful,
loving, and
kind sun drop.

ups and
downs,
they've been
through
it all.

all the same,
no matter
how much
time passed
us by,
my love for you
will always
stay the same
even after
a hundred days
of pouring rain.

ups and downs,
twists and turns,
my heart will
never stop
to yearn.

always.

step up
your *******
game.

i can see
through the
jealousy
that you
hide inside
of your heart.

don't you dare
get mad
at me,
for your envy
is as ugly
as your
egoistic bruise.

i won't
hesitate to
switch things up,
you underground,
with me
up above.

you say that
you aren't
perfect or
maybe even
not enough
for me.

but i will
tell you
this:
you are
the reason
why i can
find hope
in every
single day
i wake up to.

you are
my Heather.

memories
or the
personㅡ
which do
i really
even miss?

my heart,
it aches
for it
longs
affection
it once received

yet it knows
that you
took it
for granted

thus,
i conclude,
i only miss
the memories
i made with you
before
you changed

indie music
playing
out loud
from my
smartphone

cold draft
of wind
coming from
the window

my little
dog
happily
playing with
their
bouncy ball

i guess
the details
are the
most beautiful

people always
ask,
"how was
school?"

or maybe,
"how was
work today?"

why is it not,
"how are
you doing?"

because
that's more
like
listening
rather than
hearing.

it's not that
the camera
can't see
your beauty

it's the fact
that it cannot
fully grasp
that you
are such
a beautiful
soul,
inside
and out

your disheveled yet
soft hair that's been
run through
and through
with my hands

your chest
that heaves
in breaths in a
way to
calm down
the leftover
excitement

your eyes
that look at me
with such affection

your lips
on which
i placed
countless kisses
all over

our hands
entwined ever
so loosely
yet stays
as it craves
the other's
touch

you're so
*******
beautiful

the soul
does not
rest comfortably
until
they have completed
their goals
or
part with a loved
one

guest house
of the
moon,
please
take care
of the one
who departed
from me
who i
cherish
so

sitting
in my room,
phone in hand,
thoughts
all over
the *******
place

typing
then clicking
the go
button
to put out
whatever
is in my mind
at this
very moment
to the world

what the hell
it'll be
better
(i guess)
when i finally
get
some sleep

in the midst
of it all
despite the
foundation
being of
toxic ground

a flower
found its way
to bloom
after plentiful
struggles

i am
that flower

the concept
of an afterlife
qualified
only for
the most
holy of holies
is what scares
me
the most.

what if
i've been
good
my whole life,
but one part
of my heart
makes my
entry
rejected?

so what if
i'm gay?

at least
i'm not
as immoral
and hypocritic
as
you.

presence
of mind,
no longer
there.

neither
is the will to
give all
of my
best,

nor the
time to
know
how to
let it
out.

i'm just
barely
surviving.

it's a mess of
our hair strands
being tangled
and our breaths being
matched by its
timing

the closeness
of our lips
yearning to
feel the other's
desire

our hands
being entwined
like puzzle pieces
that were meant
to be

oh, how lucky
i am
to be me

the aroma
of the coffee
was not what
kept me distracted.

nor was it
the loud voices
buzzing all
around me.

the people
talking about
how their day
wentー
that was not it
either.

it was you,
the unique presence
of your loving soul
that sat across
from my chair
that made me feel
at home
amongst strangers.

i long to be
more than just
the person that looks
at the screen
to keep in touch
with what you're doing

you say that
you're just
a click away
but it feels
more lonely
without you
actually here

the photos that
you send of you
from somewhere
miles away is
somewhat comforting
for my aching heart

but can you
just stay here?
stay by my side

the bed's just
a reminder of
an empty space
and it hurts
to see it
everyday

the cold, breeze
of the wind
that made your
hair become
a playful mess

the smile
from your lips
that showed
happiness
felt within

your clothes
hugging your
strong, tall
yet huggable
figure

all these
features
of you
that i came
to love

i took it
in a snap,
in the form
of a pictureー

a tangible memory,
frozen in time

what has once broken the heart
into pieces that were dreadfully
unrecognisable

can no longer be pieced together
by the five lettered word
that i waited to hear from you
from so long

can you see
these scars
that have embedded
itself upon
my forever-
aching heart?

i look at
the mirror
and always
see someone
who i no
longer know.

i can't
get back
what i lostー
a genuine,
loving smile;
and time that was
wasted in
believing
false hopes.

the pain that
i will always
feel everyday
can only be fixed
by these
artificial
bandages.

past in a glaze,
   a veil of haze,
   cannot reminisce,
   lost time with
   you.

to feel is to
be human

to be human
is to live

and to live
is to go through life
its challenges
the ups and downs

the silhoutte
of a roller coaster
which either
makes you fret or bet

yet i am
i am tired
exhausted
of it all

feeling aches
in my heart
from memories
of neglect

what a catatonic
person i am
to even still feel
such an outburst

all at once

she,
in a simple nightgown
he,
in cotton pyjamas

nearing dusk,
as they laughed
while holding
the others hand

bare feet brushing
along the
soft bristles
of the rug

the radio
softly playing
a tune of
jazz

what a time
to be alive

Oh, Rizal, hear our plea
For in our country's reality
The corrupt grow more powerful
As the elders become boastful

Pinned down condescendingly
By others buzzing like bees
With this ignorance that doesn't die
We feel that we can only try

But we will fight even as we cry
Our voices put down, may it never be pried
Away from the truth, we are shied
Now await our pent-up battle cry

We will march along the over-trodden streets
Along with the sound of where our hearts beat
For justice and for fairness
We bear your wish with gladness

she spreads goodness
in a way that
not everyone could
see her for
what she truly is.

but she is hidden
behind the darkness
of the night sky
and the clock's
busy, ticking hands.

taken for granted
during both the
breaking dawn and
dusk of day.

yet she still does not mind.

"Anak, bakit ayaw mo ba ngumiti sa mga larawan? Mahal ba ang presyo ng ngiti mo?!"

Opo, nay, ang sabi ko lamang sa loob ng kaisipan ko. Kasing mahal ng halaga ng abuso na ginawa mo sa damdamin ko.

mornings--
they aren't always
pretty.

sometimes,
it's grey
like the rain
going over
your head.

at other times,
it's complete
darkness,
like the difficulties
of life.

how ironic it is,
that bitterness
can make it
better.

I hate to admit that,
Even if I hate you right now,
To the degree that spells out,
"So much,"
I can't deny that,
I am still,
Inevitably still,
In love with,
You.

She approached you for she had no doubt,
Tapped your shoulder so you could turn around,
Turn around to face her,
To face her and see her scars,
The scars that you caused indirectly yet to so painfully,
That she didn't know what to say,
Her mouth opens, finding for words to speak,
Yet she closed it again for she did not know,
A heavy heart you caused her so.

run as wild as you can
as free as the bird in its land
smile more, it fits you, I’m sure
in this life, that’s merely pure

fall quickly, get up more
take a break, then dance some more
sip in your wine from its glass
then lie down on the tender grass

in this life, we’re forever young
as if we’ve never been stung--

let's talk about life as our voices fade
by the night's sparkles and sunlight's shades
sorrow ensues and happiness becomes blue
memories come back as we forget about it too

our hearts grew fonder and fonder
yet came haste then you were such a bother
hold me close yet let me go
for i am the wind that must flow

watch me from afar as you leave
for i am not responsible when you grieve

hold me close
   in your arms,
   as my memories
   fade away from
   me.
heal my broken heart,
   for i am not an
   artificial being,
   for i go on
   feeling.
take me away from
   the void of fears
   and making experiences,
   as you open up your
   heart.
i'll always remember
   the time we spent
   together, in this selfish
   and limited
   lifespan.

my dear don't
    be afraid to
    take flight and
    call out for help
we will and
    have promised to
    protect you,
    on our word
a samurai will
    and never will he
    abandon his orders
    *to protect you

from words you say,
    to the things that
    you do just
    to joke on me
they leave an
    unhealable scare
    etched upon
    my aching heart
a thousand feelings
    bottling up, inside
    of me,
    a time bomb

my dearest child,
    the tears you've
    shed, now lay upon
    the earthy
    soil.
it has grown
    to make a
    beautiful and
    fragile
    soul.
your kindness may
    not be seen, yet
    fear not, for the
    light, shines through
    you.

waiting for a spark
    your eyes lock
    on my dark and
    hopeful ones waiting
for the right
    kind of love
    you'll someday give
    out to me