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Mica Light Jan 25
Tell me,
How do you walk
With all of that pain?

You move on this earth
Steady, going
For so long now
That you believe
This is
A part of you.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

It sits, quietly
Draining your will,
Your connection.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

It sits, numbing
Out feelings,
Causing friction.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

It sits, waiting
For your eviction.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ.

So locate it, banish it.
I promise you, I swear
Oh, precious one,

You'll find that ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช'๐™ง๐™š ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ก๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™š.

โ–ช๏ธŽ mica light โ–ช๏ธŽ
Your trauma is not you, but in your mind.
So work that **** and love what's left behind.
Mica Light Nov 2021
Hiding. She's
Trying. I keep her

Sleeping. She's
Weeping. She screams out her

Falling. She's
Calling. There's pain in her

Dormant. She's
Latent. She feels

Shifting. She's
Drifting. But I keep her

Uneasy. She's
Queasy. Yet I

Refracted. She's
Lasted. She cant be

Bleeding. She's
Seeking. To be

Unwitting. I'm
Splitting. I say my

Heating. It's
Fleeting. My old peace of

Conquered. I'm
Anchored. I'm treading

Drowning. Heart
Pounding. My sight going

Vehement. Not
Present. I am losing my

Engaging. I'm
Raging. She's loud from

Neurotic. I'm
seasick. From pain left

Messy. We're
Heavy. There's blood on our

Damage. I
Manage. This fall from up

Numbness. Crave
Oneness. This banal state,

Transgressing. Keep
shedding. And I'll find her

Uplifting. Deep
Thinking. I tame what is

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Releasing and healing
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  ย ย My own inner-child.

ย ย ย ย ย ย 
โ˜ผ Mica Light
Sometimes she comes gently. Sometimes she comes with force.

Vehement: marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid
Banal: obvious and dull; repeated too often; overfamiliar through overuse
Splitting: a commonly used defense mechanism for people with BPD that is done subconsciously in an attempt to protect against intense negative feelings such as loneliness, abandonment and isolation; sees in 'black and white'; no 'grey area'
MG Sep 2021
To the little girl who grew up too fast:
Who had her childhood taken away from her too young.
Who never knew what innocence was.
Who desperately searched for love in all the wrong places.
Who was afraid to show her heart, but desperately wanted it to be seen.
Who craved validation from men, most who didnโ€™t care to know her name.
Who drank until the world went black.
Who hurt people, because she was hurting her self.
So full of angst.

I can still see her now- clearly.
She lives inside me.
I can find her standing at her favorite beach.
Listening to the angry waves crash.
Itโ€™s night and sheโ€™s always crying, but silently.
Salt water sprays her face as salty tears run down it.
Staring at the ocean, gazing at the moon.
Desperate for a glimpse of hope.
Here sheโ€™s able to feel all the things she has kept insideโ€”

To the little girl who grew up too fast:
Who knew pain so young.
Who only wanted the love of her mother,
But looked for it in all the wrong places.
Who made choices to hurt herself, because she saw no value in herself.
Just know, I love you.
Even when youโ€™re difficult to love.
I wouldnโ€™t be me without you.
An ode to my teenage self
Another time
Another place
Just another pretty face
All these feelings come back to you.
Another word
Lost in disgrace
Is he someone you'd be proud of
Another smile
Another breakdown
All these feelings come back to you
Is he someone you'd be proud of
lillie Jan 2021
you lurk within
and stay between
the things
that i say
and even
the things
that i do.

you show up
i hold my standards
way too high
for others
yet give excuses
for when i
fail in the eyes
of the world.

you say that
you protect me
from the dangers,
but i say
that you're a child
who has been hurt
over and over
that you have
built walls
and a throne
that is false.

the darkness
is what we humans
tend to fear,
yet it an aspect
that lies within
every each and one
of us,
for we are all
souls craving
everything material
but nothing
"shadow work is the path of the heart warrior." - carl jung
Mica Light Jan 2021
She carries the weight,
As she tries to walk straight.
She cannot help but seethe.

Treading through mud,
And emotional blood.
Constantly trying to breathe.

The pain that she felt,
From the cards she was dealt -
Not knowing the reasons why.

The tears she would weep,
From a sadness so deep,
That echoes and amplifies.

For the rest of her life,
At the edge of a knife -
The slightest movement will ****.

"Keep calm. Keep steady.
Get with it already."
Or all that's distasteful will spill.

Behind all her mystery,
Is sadness and misery -
A truth she wants no one to find.

"She's magic" they'll say,
Before they run astray.
To this madness they won't be confined.

She will never be risen,
For her body's a prison,
Her mind, a bitter disease.

But they have a choice.
Without her, they'll rejoice.
They can live however they please.

Her soul is tired; heart is spent.
- Generational Torment -
Seeping from the past into each day.

Sifting through; righting what's wrong.
Hoping that her love is strong,
Enough for all the pain to be repaid.

Maybe one day, finally
A healed being she will be.
It's all she ever wanted all along.

She can't run from this existence,
But perhaps with some persistence,
Maybe she can finally belong.

She cries for you, she cries for me.
She cries for every long lost being.
She just wants the suffering to end.

A lineage of damage
On her plate to manage -
A lifetime of work to transcend.

Look past the hurt, beyond the pain.
It is clear what still remains:
The beginnings of a budding lotus flower.

This is nature, seeking nurture.
To this earth she needs an anchor.
This is the beginning of her power.

~ โ˜ผ ~
To healing. To responsibility. To connection.
KG Nov 2020
Today I left behind
The life of leisure theater
The cast plead with me to remain seated
Convincing speeches that I want to believe
I'm not
Conceited to dream past these shutters
Couldn't see the greener grass past the plummet
Now I'm Three less leaches to feed over the weeked, peace friend I'm leaving to seek the me I believe sleeps far off into the future
And I can't wait to meet him.
Whisper Yes Oct 2020
No need to understand
In this moment I feel no kindness
No desire to reach out
Disowned anger
Needing to be owned and embodied
Holding just as much wisdom within it as love
Letting anger, rage and numbness teach me
Slowly revealing their gifts
The refugee aspects of the psyche
Needing to be felt
They have lived repressed
Locked up in the dungeon of conditioning
Labeled as unacceptable
Opening to anger, rage and numbness
Welcoming them home to my heart
Olivia Henkel Jul 2019
Un-imagining threat loops
Positive outlook
Sinai Oct 2015
I am slowly *******
Last night I took out my metal
For I could not stand the weight
During years now
Am I washing off smeared make-up from my face
I think it's beginning to show my skin
Sometimes I speak and the echo brings my own voice back to me
It sounds so much calmer than I remembered
My hair has been growing back its color
It tickles on my shoulders

I'm getting there
It's terribly slow and difficult
But I think I'm finding myself

— The End —