Hershey’s—the best kiss,
When our lips meet chocolate,
We become addicts.

The taste of your lips.
Temptation I can’t resist
Let me savor you.

There is something about the beauty of a woman,
it shines in the whites of her eyes,
and the pearls of her teeth,
it is in the melanin of her skin,
and the black of her hair,
it is in the warm browns,
midnight blacks,
and the pinkness of her hidden flesh,
it is in the smell of her skin,
and the natural pheromone scents,
There is something about the beauty of a black woman,
that keeps pulling me in...

The Insecurities are flourishing,
A gorgeous garden is my mind—
But the weeds keep growing in.
Media like kryptonite—weakening my self esteem.
—Thoughts of a young child never knowing what to believe.

I lie awake in bed at night staring at the ceiling.
If only the notion could suffice in finding the words—
For the void I'm feeling in my life,
But it isn't simple.

Pure corruption of my mind,
Perfect pictures,
Flawless figures,
The images I can't erase.
Uncomfortable in my own skin—
What do I do to feel safe?

Do I drown myself in ink—to cover up the imperfections?
Instead of talking—walk and let my skin scream the self-expression?

Or do I return to the blank stare in the mirror?
The words are on repeat.
Who am I to think I’m beautiful—when I myself can’t see?
Who am I to think I'm valuable—when there is no self-confidence there?
Who am I to think I'm worthy—when I myself don't feel?

The insecurities keep flourishing.
A gorgeous garden was my mind,
But the weeds kept growing in.
Media like kryptonite—weakening my self esteem.
Thoughts of a young child,
--Never knowing what to believe.

One night as I lie awake—I hear my subconscious scream out to me.
The most attractive people do the ugliest of things,
The true beauty you want is what’s imprisoned within.
Why stop your happiness to return to a place—
—A place where you feel so alone?
Why do the tears flow?
You're killing yourself—
And you fail to realize
Your own self-doubt is the knife!
Pessimism,
The negative thoughts building inside—
They’re just as bad as the razorblade that kisses your skin as you sit in silence...
Why are you hurting yourself?
Temporary pain is only a distraction,
You were blessed and shaped by the hands of God.
What more could you possibly ask for?

Appearance is not everything.—
Stop the self-consciousness and live your life.
—acknowledge that you —are your worst —enemy...

I open my eyes.
The cries have ceased,
I return to the blank stare in the mirror.
The words are on repeat.
Who am I to think I’m beautiful—when I myself can’t see?
Who am I to think I'm valuable—when there is no self-confidence there?
Who am I to think I'm worthy—when I myself don't feel?

But it’s different this time,
My reflection speaks.
Saying no—
Who are you not to?
Your imperfections are beautiful.
Beautiful enough for the heart that is meant to love you,
Believe in yourself.
No more self doubt,
No more lost soul.

—No more insecurities flourishing,
A gorgeous garden is my mind.
No more weeds keep growing in,
Media is not my kryptonite,
No more weakening of my self esteem,
Thoughts of a young child finally unshackled —and free.

Am I not enough?
I'm treated like an unloved,
Avoided of touch.

I stopped trusting Men,
I stopped trusting Women too,
They are all LIARS.

Nature is beauty.
True Beauty—like the sun’s rays,
Gleaming on your skin.

I can tell you that you’re beautiful,
You will not believe me.

I can tell you that you mean everything to me.
You will not care.

I can tell you that you are perfect.
You will accuse me of lies.

I can tell you that you are ugly.
I can tell you I hate you.
I can tell you that you disgust me.

Would then a disagreement come to mind?

I thought differently,
—Much differently of you.
You turned out to be the same,
As they all do.

My skin lacks comfort.
Terrified of my true form,
I hide behind ink.

Is my appearance uneasy?
Does my darkness expose—darkened spirits,
And a vessel in need of mending?
Have my scarlet relatives,
Evoked only the most cherished desires?
—blinding you from my deaths.
When I whither,
I turn from crimson reds,
To the blackest of blacks,
I was not meant to live forever.

I am not afraid of love.
I am afraid of being hurt beyond repair.

I am afraid of giving my all to one,
Who may not always be there.

I am afraid of losing myself
And never finding my way back.

I am afraid of falling in love--
If you aren't falling back.

A Haiku a day,
Lets curiosity stay,
Humble your musings.

Lustfully creating chemistry in the bedroom,
Day dreams to wet dreams,
May I play out my sinful thoughts on you?

Your body—my favorite leisure.
Cravings unbearable,
The flavor of your lips forever engraved in my memory.

Will the next be better than the first?
Again a chance to savor your sweetness,
—To hear your moans escape.

Your body against my body, rhythmically our hips gyrates.
Desire for your passion—longing for your embrace.
The ******* of my neck—bites I cannot take.

Excitement, I cringe at the presence of you.
Fingers tactically stroking—smear my wetness.
Low gasps when you penetrate.

****** after ******, now allow me to stimulate.
Exposing all of my weaknesses,
I want you—intimately; the best way.

When blue skies turn gray,
Darkness spreads like wildfire,
No life to be spared.

She's Tired...
of the broken promises,
and of the broken dreams,

She's tired.
of being unappreciated,
taken for granted and hurt.

of lies rolling off your tongue,
and of the swelling tears,
she'd learn to hide.

She's tired of feeling replaceable,
disappointed and undesired,

of broken hearts,
--broken trust,
and of the emptiness she feels.

She's tired,
of being yours,
when you do not know how to love her.

The green gives me life,
I roll them,
I smoke them,
I let my body rise,
I taste them,
I boil them, strain them,
I drink them,
as my favorite tea,
I bake them,
and eat them,
for a higher treat.

Speechless conversations often lead me to mental *******,
But verbal ******* goes deeper than any relation,
Please excuse my bluntness but the thought alone of straddling your mind makes me weak...

I never anticipated this.
The ease of our connection,
Sharing my space--mind flooded,
Drowning in apprehensive feelings as I lie awake next to you.

I am not used to your embrace.
Is it terrible that with you I feel safe?
Am I trapped solely within the moments we share?
When hours seem like minutes just because you are here.

The quiet nights spent alone
Cold as the iciest winter
Wandering wondering
If things had happened in reverse,
Would they be somewhat better?

True Affliction
Unwise decisions
Regretting forgiveness that was once given
Faulty thoughts
Impaired judgments
Logic flawed with justifiable reason

Transgressing to levels uncertain
A tornado of doubt destroys every light in sight
With every dreadful memory that resurfaces
Of the darkest times in her life

The anxiety clouds her mind
Uncertainty glares from behind her eyes
Scars of past loves, past exes, past wounds, past lies
They cover her face

Shown in the bags above her cheeks
The darkness behind her pupils
And the depression contained in them
A midnight black
A dark hole only caused by deep sorrow
Unfathomable Heartache

Overly afraid of the unknown
How will she learn to let go?
As if instinctively hesitant of others intentions
She treads vigilantly amongst
Those of even the utmost caliber

Stern refusal to release her guard
Such little remaining to give
She clings sacredly onto the last of her

To think,
Never again will she slip and fall
Blindly into loves tainted cage
Never again will she be trapped in loves locks
Like an animal untamed
Internally shattered in a zoo of impure emotion
How will she decipher the wrong from the right person?

Passively awaiting
The next bearer of alleged variation
When history has too often chosen to repeat
The differences in being different
Eventually turn out to be exactly the same

The call to slumber was never so alluring,
Until nights you were near,
From warmth emitting your body,
To the scent of your hair,
The silhouette of your frame,
Shifting to meet the shapeliness of mine,
Like fingers meeting fingers our bodies lay intertwined.

Peacefully we lie.
Arms draped securely around you,
Your head snug aloft my breast,
Forehead resting lightly against my chin,
Delicate glances upward,
Affectionate are the kisses given.
Ear to chest—sound of the finest heartbeat,
Floating further toward slumber with each pounding melody...

I wonder if my thoughts are blocked from over thinking.
Maybe my urge to write is scarcely needed,
If I stopped writing would anyone notice?
Shall I jot my thoughts in a journal safely hiding my moments?
Self expression through words means no expression at all,
When the words no longer flow and keen fingertips lock.

If you were to die,
Before you truly had lived,
Had you lived at all?

She said I'm Honey,
A sweet blessing to her tongue.
Would you like a taste?

If love could stand still,
Just long enough for my grasp,
I woudn’t let go.

Burning pleasure with each swallow
I love the way you taste.
Eradicate the stress.
Numb the pain.

In search for freedom
Steps to intoxication I take
Consumed in reflection
With each swig memories fade.

No matter the quantity internally vacant I remain.
How many more sips
How many more shots
For the remnants to trail away?

Ethanol
My aching addiction
Course through my veins
Life is nil without you.

Unable to remember
Questioning what was said
Passively expelling secrets
Drunkenly fearless I am.

Drowsiness imminent
Slurred speech
Coordination weak
Emotions wavering

Artery pressure low
Heartbeat delayed
Thoughts sway
Respirations slow.

Inhibitions lessen
Concentration impaired
Reflexes diminish
Hangover in the distance

Another day
Another drink
Inevitably it happens.
I succumb again.

Time reverses the inebriated.
If only time could annul the loss in me.
Subdue the recollections.
Until then sobriety is not for me...

I thought there'd be a journal,
One we'd keep to ourselves,
To express how we felt,
and not show anyone else.

At least then we could talk,
And issues would be kept private,
Or maybe for you to understand,
The things I hold most silent.

At least I could speak to the pages,
And hope one day they'd respond,
Or maybe my writing and tear streaked lines,
with penned anger dents, and ink smeared stains of all my faults,
...Would let you see I mean no harm.

I am not supposed to want you
Yet I reminisce of our night
The shudder that overcame me
From touches so light
The caress of my cheek
The passion of your kiss
Too genuine a gaze
I became trapped within
I harbor such a secret
I desire your slightest strokes
While temptation tugs at my wishes innermost
Powerless against my arousal
How can I keep this contained?
I am not supposed to want you...
I am NOT supposed to want you!
...But I cannot do without you.
Do you want me the same?

She was poetry,
The way her curves aligned,
Bouncing out the walls of a perfect physique,
I could write verses of her.

She was music,
Her voice would rhyme it's own articulate songs,
Roaming the airways--
Her voice traveled down halls,
Lined With famous portraits,
She was the "Mona Lisa"
--of poetry.

She was the sun,
The moon,
The sky,
She was life,
AND she was temptation,
The chill down my spine,
When foreplay leads with ice,
When water melts and maneuvers itself in hot places I never thought,
Felt good cold.

She was poetry,
She was music,
She was Life,
She was temptation,
AND she was beauty,
Most importantly she was everything she wanted to be and more.

I knew this would happen,
All my fears came true,
I'm not afraid to love,
My fear of love, is you.

I could heal you;
The toxin that rages inside could be no more,
If you would only give me the tools.

I could find your broken pieces.
I could break down your walls.
I could show the beauty again that once was.

I could be your escape.
I could be the one to give you sunshine after the rain.

I could be your antidote.
I could cancel out their poisons.
I could do the opposite of those by whom you've once been broken.

I could teach you how to trust.
I could teach you how to love.
I could teach you how to once again be you.
I could be your antidote if you would allow me to.

Ecstasy spoke, with murmurs in moans.

Begged endlessly, “Spare change?” –received pennies.

Fearful pain... [Swallow]...suicide [End scene].

Is your ulterior beauty justified by what my eyes perceive?
Or is that which is held within its own shade of hideousness?
Will appealing faces arrange for my downfall?
—Being captivated solely by how beautiful you are?
Or will reality shatter and return me to my senses?
Will your charm have weakened and my guard have lessened?
Will I shred your layers and be able to see?
Who are you really when I plunge skin deep?

A wise soul told me,
We do too much for others,
-not enough for us.

Her lips are a taste of heaven,
Since our first encounter,
I knew there'd be a place for me in hell.

I always wondered,
Are the Stars as Beautiful,
From where you two are?