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10.3k · Aug 2018
far from the door
In my homeroom class, we don't have a seating chart.
But I still sit as far away from the door as I can.
Subconsciously it's probably because of a school shooting.
I've been anticipating one to strike at my small high school for a couple years now.
It's probably because of a lock down we had a couple years ago when I was still in middle school.
There were armed men on campus.
We had to be silent for hours.
I was in choir at the time.
Over 100 of us were squeezed into a small space.
There were girls crying,
my best friend was holding my hand,
I was having an anxiety attack.
I was only thinking
"Please not today..."

I'm not surprised anymore.
When another school is in the news,
it's deeply upsetting
but not surprising.
It's all I've ever known.
The Columbine High School shooting happened in 2001.
I was born a year later.
I've never actually known peace in this country...
8.9k · Aug 2018
my brothers apartment
mismatched furniture
a few dishes in the cupboards
a couple random blankets and lamps
a pan and a mug or two in the sink
a broken clock above the fake fireplace
a fake jackalope head on the fireplace

a couple college kids' apartment
my brother and his roommate
it isn't much but it feels like home
3.3k · Aug 2018
be careful, princess
"follow the yellow brick road"
the witch didn't die
cinderella didn't go to the ball
sleeping beauty didn't wake up
belle escaped the beast
snow white was poisoned and killed
jasmine didn't go with aladin
moana stayed on the island
ariel sayed under water
tiana didn't kiss the prince
rapunzel stayed in the tower
pocahontas didn't save john smith
mulan stayed in the village
anna didn't go after elsa
elsa controlled her powers
anastasia/anya didn't care about her past


a world where evil wins
and there are no princesses
is a scary world.

be careful, princess.
3.1k · Sep 2018
right whats wrong
i need to right
what i did
wrong to you.

but i'm afraid
of what might
happen.

i broke your
heart (and mine
too) on accident.
i didn't mean to.
i swear.

if i could go back
and change it-
i'd do it in a
heartbeat.
3.0k · Apr 2022
a poem for you, my love
sitting across from you in this quiet library
while we do homework,
i look at you and wonder-
how did i get so lucky to be loved by you?
6 months ago you asked me out.
6 months of pure happiness and love,
6 months of never once questioning if you do love me,
only knowing that you do.
and now, we look forward to the rest of our lives,
together.
loving someone has never been easier,
it's like second nature,
as simple and innate as breathing.
your fluffy brown curls,
stunning hazel eyes,
and adorable silver and navy glasses;
unparalleled intelligence,
kindness, goofiness, dorkiness,
lovability- my golden retriever boy.
you always take care of me,
especially when my adhd and anxiety get bad,
and i always take care of you,
especially when you're tired and dehydrated.
i love you
2.3k · Aug 2018
shoot your shot
"I will not throw away my shot."
Do not throw away your shot.
We have one shot to make a difference.
We have one shot to show them who we are.
To make them see we aren't who they think we are.
To let them hear us.
We have one shot... Make it count.
We must leave behind a legacy.
"What is a legacy? A legacy is planting a garden that you'll never get to see."
Let the younger ones see us fighting for what we believe in-
let them see us dressing for ourselves and not to impress others constantly
let them see us being who we are
let them see us using our words for good and not for evil
let them see us changing the world
one
word
at
a
time
1.7k · Sep 2018
someone who
you deserve someone who
will take pictures of you and
post them

you deserve someone who
will come over for no reason
but to hang out with you

someone who
will make you laugh when
you're feeling down

someone who
can help you understand things

someone who
makes you want to be a better person
always be kind
push you to be better
help you along the way

you deserve someone
who will treat you
like a
queen.
every night,
you walk me back across campus.
and every night,
we sit in the back corner of the lobby,
by the laundry room,
where the vending machine sits,
and talk for at least an hour.
and we talk about
everything.
the big things,
the little things,
the easy things,
the stressful things.
and we both listen and talk.
hearing one another,
loving one another,
simply being there for one another.
the minutes and hours slip by,
and suddenly it’s 2am-
reminiscent of the first night
that we actually hung out,
i sat next to you talking until 7am,
fully knowing i was to work
an 8 hour shift that day.
and ever since that moment,
i have fallen even deeper
in love with you,
every single moment
of every single day.
i am finally comfortable enough
with myself
and
in my own skin,
that i, for the first time,
love sharing my life with someone.
we can talk about the serious things,
and 20 minutes later, segue into
being very goofy together. and
it feels so natural
and normal
and right.
1.4k · Nov 2018
shattered
i accidentally
broke his heart

almost a year
and a half later
he shattered mine

“dating her
was a mistake.”
1.3k · Apr 2019
rain
the gentle rain
on the window
reminds me of
a simpler time

of a moment that
is still to happen

somewhere,
someday,
with you
912 · Oct 2018
is typing...
sometimes when
no one checks
the group chat
for awhile and
there’s no one
else on-
it feels like you’re
just talking in an
empty theatre- waiting.
waiting for anything.
a “read” notification,
a typing bubble-
a sign that you’re
not alone-
anything...
849 · Jan 2022
a taste of forever
there is such a peace
that comes with being
near you.
i have never felt such
love and adoration
from a singular person
ever before.
and i know that i will
never be perfect,
i won’t even try to be.
and i will never truly be able
to show you how much
i love you.
but i will spend the rest of my life
showing you.
and i know things won’t always
be easy or good,
but i am willing to make it work
no matter what it takes.

and do not doubt me
because i am young.
i am not yet twenty
yet i am sure of this:
you are my one and only,
always and forever.
847 · Sep 2018
ocean waves
what i miss
most about the
ocean is the
freedom of
standing on rocks
over the waves
without any worries
809 · Aug 2018
demons
i've battled demons
i've been to hell and back to get here
and you still think i'm weak?
you'll never know how strong you or i are
until we've been shattered and had to
rebuild ourselves alone.
prince charming wont come to a broken princess.
maybe he will to you, but he didn't to me.
every night i douse
my essence and body
in lavender oil
to try and help calm
my adhd
just enough so
i can fall asleep,
and the melatonin
helps keep me asleep
787 · Aug 2019
mascara
as i brush the mascara
on my eyelashes,
i notice the rain outside,
gently hitting my windows.
it’s a beautiful thing
766 · Aug 2018
lost
sometimes
words
get
lost
in the
dark

i often
get lost in my
own thoughts

but it’s a risk
that i
dare to take
763 · Sep 2018
embers
the glowing of the
hot embers from
what was left of the
bonfire reminded
me that maybe
some good can come
out of this darkness.
740 · Sep 2018
ocean
in april my parents and i
went back to the
east coast, new england,
for a funeral.
my mother grew up there
and i was born there.

i hadn't seen the ocean in
11 years since we left.

i miss the waves
i miss the cool
sea breeze
the seagulls
the marinas
the houses on the water
the random shops
i miss everything
it's more of a home than
this house in the middle of
nowhere ever was.
700 · Sep 2018
cinderella
if i get the job
as a dishwasher
at the cafe or
the nursing home

i might get my
weirdly
tragically beautiful
cinderella story
after all
the cement was poured over the dug up earth,
but despite all efforts to prevent its growth,
one very determined little flower cracked the cement
and bloomed in the concrete jungle it was born into.
588 · Sep 2018
high school
my education has turned into a
competition i never agreed to enter.
i don't hate learning, but i hate
being taught by teachers who don't
care who really just work here
so they can coach.
everyone says, its preparing
you for the real world.
so the first 13 years of my education
is just a trial run?
i don't know what day of the week
or month it is, i think in test dates
and deadlines.
they say you need a good ACT/SAT
score to get into a good college.
fun fact: only 21% of people work
in the area that they majored in.
they make it seem like everything
is depending on this test.
i don't know how much
longer i can handle this weight
and pressure to perform.
i used to be gifted way back when
but now i'm not because i wan't
continually challenged.
i just need to make it through
this semester, then it'll be over for
a couple months, then the cycle
will start again...
579 · Dec 2019
could be
could be
seasonal depression
or could be
lacking any friends
i don’t know.

and please don’t try to tell me “oh you have friends- you really do” or “find new friends” because trust me- I know them- and I don’t want to associate with them and I live in too small of a town to find other friends.
574 · Aug 2018
someday
“someday my prince will come”
cinderella sung that...
i believed it to be true

my prince never came
no prince ever would want
a servant girl
537 · Aug 2018
stardust
darling,
you're made of
stardust.
not to be scientific
but
the hemoglobin found
in your blood-
the only other place
its found,
is
in
stars
536 · Aug 2018
don't cry
don't cry, darling
things will get better
chin up
trust me.

no.
you know what?
cry.

let it out.
cry.
i know you've been hiding for too long.
i know you've been abandoned.
i see you.
you're beautiful.
you're perfect.
you're amazing.
if you ever wonder if you're a bad person? bad people don't worry about being better.
go ahead and cry.

let your tears water the ground.
let the seeds of despair and hurt grow
let the graves of dreams and lost friends have gardens
un-clench your hands and you'll find seeds falling out
every bad thing is now a seed
the bad things will become beautiful things,
just to spite everyone who said
"no you can't."
"it's not possible."
"you're stupid/ugly"/any other mean word

those will be the most beautiful flowers of all.

so let your tears flow.
they'll water the ground beneath your feet.
it'll be a garden of spite and inspiration.
510 · Apr 2019
changing
things are changing so
quickly.

life is happening so
quickly.

from one thing to the next,
supporting friends, working
at the cafe and hospital...

and things will continue to
change. as long as we are alive
nothing will ever stay the same
508 · Oct 2018
blue eyes
i’ve been told
many times
that my eyes
are the color
of the ocean.
just like my
mom’s eyes.

the color of
the sky after
a rain storm,
young flowers,
a little lighter
than the blue
on a walmart bag,
a worn jean jacket.

i think i like
ocean the best-
i miss it the most.
441 · Aug 2018
listen up
listen here to me.
ignore what everyone else is saying if they're trying to tear you down.
don't let that happen.

you are smart
you are beautiful
you are kind
you are seen
you are loved
you're better than you think you are.
441 · Dec 2019
sickness
i have been
conditioned to
think that working
is more important than
my health.
437 · Feb 2019
return
i come home
around 10pm
after musical
rehearsal.

i come home to
a silent and empty
house.

its like im
being rejected
from my own
home.
437 · Nov 2018
storms
everything is
so peaceful on
this wintery day

except the storm
raging in my mind

someone help me
417 · Jan 2019
night terrors
it feels like i'm stuck in
a never ending
night terror.

it's on loop and
won't stop
going and
going and
going and
going and
going and
going.

this is my cry for someone-
anyone to help me escape.
i can't handle it anymore...
396 · Jun 2019
loop
im stuck in
this never ending
loop. this cycle
of go to work,
come home, go
to bed, repeat.
i can’t live the
rest of my life
like this.
life is like a
bad song stuck
on repeat.
389 · Jun 2021
a road not yet recovered
here i am,
nearly a year and a half later,
and I still experience the feeling of
heartbreak
almost every day because of you.
so, thanks for that, i guess.
363 · Aug 2019
early phyics
it's 5:30am.
i'm sitting at the
dining room table
with my physics notes
in front of me. a cup of
tea sits to the right of it all.
mornings like these are more
common than i'd like to admit.
homework and notes sit in front
of me, waiting for the calculations
to be completed. it's odd. i can focus
at 5:30am better than i can focus at, say,
8:30pm. i think i actually like early physics
352 · Oct 2018
breaking
i'm shattering
breaking
so stressed
to the breaking
point

if something
isn't done soon
there won't be
any of me left
336 · Sep 2018
never chosen
one thing i've learned
is that i will never
be anyone's first choice.

he will always choose
his friends over the girl
he says he's dating.

i've finally come to
terms with the fact that
i'm just not good enough.
335 · Aug 2018
empty
sometimes
i try to feel
the emptiness
and aching
that used to
be in my heart.
sometimes there
are still traces of it
but other times
its really gone
and i cant believe
that im actually
happy again
323 · Jun 2021
failed attempts
i’ve tried to date two guys since you.
one was manipulative.
the other was abusive.
i’ve been so badly hurt by so many
relationships that i don’t know
who to trust or what to do
305 · Jan 2022
internal static
caught in this grief
i've never felt before
unsure of how to react,
i do what i can to stay afloat.
unprecedented stress and anxiety,
overwhelming situations,
too much to handle on my own.
thank you for never leaving my side
298 · Sep 2018
forever
i’m standing on the
edge of the world
so much talent and
opportunity.

but i’m waiting.
waiting for something
to happen that will
never happen.
295 · Feb 2019
moments
sometimes there are
these perfect little
moments.

i believe that these
moments are what
defines who we are
286 · Mar 2019
him
him
his cologne
still
haunts me
280 · Sep 2018
talking fast
talking fast
i have to get out my words
before someone else cuts me off

they said "slow down"
but if i slow down bad things happen.
everything catches up with me.
people cut me off
my fears catch up to me
i have to be busy
if im not busy i start to relapse
278 · Mar 2019
musical
i've spent the last
3 months of my
life on a musical

a week ago today
was opening night
and now it's all
completely over

i don't regret
anything.
274 · Sep 2018
prince
my prince
isnt coming
he probably
found a better
princess...

im finally
coming
to terms
with that
259 · Nov 2022
sucky chai
the anxiety has gotten worse,
but you're still here.
the chai from the library *****,
the chai from the student center also *****.
it makes me sad. it's very milky,
i'm lactose-intolerant.
i don't know why the chai *****,
but i do know that one full year of loving you
has felt like mere moments
253 · Feb 2019
bridges
ive burned a
lot of bridges
lately...

whether it was
on purpose or
an accident-
i still don’t know
251 · Aug 2018
books for friends
my closest friends
are made of:
white paper
black ink
12pt Times New Roman font
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