patterned love responses
spiraling outward from
the chest in search
of hearth and
hemlock to
soothe the brittle
bones of a
generation lost
to time.

I remember a feeling
once felt in
the spacious quality
of my life
in its infancy.

a 'coo' to my
mother--her face
beaming through
the unknown
harshness of life
yet to touch me.

father was out
working, adding
more and more
points of stress to
his life to provide
for the seeds
he sewed in the
soil of his youthful
ignorance.

adulthood snuck
up on me too and
now its too late to
go back.

these days
the only coup
that will save me
is the one
I perpetrate
against myself.
the one that
corrodes my beliefs
and illuminates
the extent of their
misconceptions about
the world and
what it means
to be me.

loyal are the lashes
that lick my flesh
serving the blood
that drips and
flows to the
soil of my own
wasted youth.

all I can do now
is look forward
to the unknown
that looms ahead;
terrifying and promising
failure and change
alike.

pray to your altars
and cry to the
invisible mute gods;

they will answer
in kind in the
laughter of children
playing upon
your spent life.

and so it goes--
life eats life
and mother's die
too.

use your voice
while you have
it--speak of clouds
and storms that
broke you, of winter
and the living
silence you've endured.

praise be to the
broken and the
weary of heart, for
in the breaking is
the great gift
of life

and what you
become after each
shattering is nothing
short of your
endless potential.

the world is shattering,
with a raven hovering.
the wild creation with big strong wings,
coming closure, spreading darkness, hiding everything.
visibility has gone even with dilated pupil.
humans trying to remember ethics and scruples.
this will end soon, we chanting every prayer,
the old and infant both survive and again we get fresh air.

i was getting better  
i was feeling again  

But
Now

its crashing down
in slow motion this time  
i desperately try to stop it  
but just keep getting attacked

by this thing  
this monster that i  
cant see  
how do i defend myself  
against something that  
i cannot see  

how do i be  
not broken  
im tired of being broken
my jagged edges keep cutting  
people i care about  

i was getting better  
but now  
im shattering

Thoughts of you sing softly in my head
Ringing in on silver horse
Crashing in the room around me
Bringing down my marble home
Lashing at the darkness  now around me
Screaming in my ear the thought of you
complete regression to who I am
shattering my chest like breaking glass
I shrink down in part of rubble
Instinct to crack crash and burn
Your singing torturing me with every rattle in my skull
The only memory that doesn't ****
Only a voice

it’s beautiful, really.
the manner which
wind creates waves
that reshape the earth
beneath the ocean.

the earth is shattering
below our feet
and we’re moving too
quickly to feel it.
stand still.
new land is forming.

i'm shattering
breaking
so stressed
to the breaking
point

if something
isn't done soon
there won't be
any of me left

I am losing myself
Everything is
crumbling
shattering
snd scattering.

Masks are coming off
Truth is coming to light.
Fake ones start to claim their identity
and people are leaving,
the ones I thought wouldn’t leave.

The light escapes me
and dull colors swift past me.

I have lost my care
I have lost my love
Lost my innocence
And lost my guilt.
Everything that made me, me
Is now gone.

So tell me,
is it me who you’re looking for?
Because that girl is breathing no more.