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Part of me wants to hold the pain
the way I wish I could hold you
it feels more productive
than letting go.

How can I allow
the process, the universe, god
to take care of itself, when there is pain?

As if the preoccupation with the possibilities,
will protect you more than my prayers
as if the pain were a sentinel.

I hold the pain as a dagger.
Stabbing into the darkness, into the void.
Fending off invisible foe, parrying against suffering.

No one leaves life unscathed, and so I fail you.
I cannot protect you from life.
My honor is tarnished.

My love, please know,
I will be here when you are happy,
And especially when you are sad, scared, lonely.

When life bears down, and the weight is too much,
I will be here, prying apart the dimensions,
As an anchor to reality

My precious one,
You are beloved since always.
This love has always been, and always will be.
When all returns to the great silence,
This love remains eternal.
To my most venerable teacher, my highest honor, my greatest challenge. To my son.
Hollie May 2023
It is not just the firsts
It is everytime, every interaction
Never growing used to you
Makes for everything to be special
But it's a first for me
To be captivated by someone
To know enough that shouldn't leave me surprised but does eveytime
When you leave it's nothing new
A ping of pain anchored to my heart
But I deny familiarity
I will see you again and all will be okay
A love that never grows old or tiresome but one that has you falling in love again and again, even when that love is one sided
ItxNotTrixh Jul 2020
she's drawing constellations
with the memories in her head
trying to trace them back
back to where it all began
Was it the first star off north ?
or the just right of Sirius ?
or was it the day she stormed out
and hid in the bathroom stall
tears like lava hitting the pale marble floor the way the rain was pounding on the pavement outside
wishing the clouds would go away and the year-long storm would cease ?

or maybe she's just thinking too much ? not thinking enough ? how can she think the right amount when time is endless and she's lost to infinity ?

she tries to line it up but thereโ€™s too many threads and sheโ€™s split at the end so now
sheโ€™s just back where she began
back to the silence
back to the night
back to lining up the constellations of memories
in her head.
not my usual style... trying something different b/c im feeling different today :/
Dibakar Ghosh Jun 2020
A day seems so brighter
When I can peek at her
Through the lost lorgnette
Draped under those crimson shades
Just for that very appealing smile,
That keeps me alive
To hold me Keen deep inside
As My love to her is a roaring fire.

Whenever I wither for my broken desires,
Her very presence holds
Some enchantment deep inside,
Which animates my shattered soul
In a blink of an eye.

Though she's all I ever accomplished
Or will ever desire or dream of.
Her every bit of essence
In my incoherent life,
That make me whole within,
Without every bit of those,
I'm no more,
Cause she's all that I ever live for.

She's my red rose filled with no thorns,
Yet I never know why her I ever chose.
Guess that's the way how my heart rolls,
That make me go baffled,
All night long.

Yet her every bit of picture,
That rolls ahead of my avid eyes,
Still I'm just too scared,
To let her know,
How I feel for her every now and then,
In fear of one hope,
If she ever knew that I cared
With my heart all along,
Will she ever yield
To my every bid of proposition
That I ever hold.

But after all I ever been through,
One thing that's been straight
In my head for so long,
No matter how much hard I ever try,
The ecstacy for her that builds within,
Will stay unrequited
Whether I hop in or not,
Still this love will stay undivided
For eternity and beyond.
annh Feb 2021
๐‘‡โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘›๐‘’๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ-๐‘’๐‘›๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘ž๐‘ข๐‘Ž๐‘˜๐‘’ ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘‘๐‘Ž๐‘ฆ,
๐ด ๐‘“๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘ ๐‘ก ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘› ๐‘ข๐‘›๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘‘;
๐‘€๐‘–๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘‘, ๐‘Ž ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ-๐‘๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘ ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘ ๐‘ก,
๐ด ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘’๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘ฃ๐‘’๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘’ ๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘‘.

ยง

I dฮนe ั‚o ั•leep,
I ั•leep ั‚o dฮนe,
I dreฮฑะผ ั‚o lฮนve,
Aษดd wฮฑฤธe ั‚o cry;

Teฮฑrั• oา“ loั•ั•,
Teฮฑrั• oา“ ั•ะฝฮฑะผe,
Reษขreั‚ reั•olveั•,
To ั‚ฮฑฤธe ั‚ะฝe ะฒlฮฑะผe.
A miscellany.

โ€˜What I was chasing in circles must have been the tail of the darkness inside me.โ€™
- Haruki Murakami, After the Quake
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2020
For things I'll never have in life
Fancy car
Mansion
Designer Clothes
Neverending list
Never pay the price
Don't want them enough I suppose
I only desire the simple pleasures of life, not materialistic luxuries
Tabitha Lee Feb 2020
Reckless Love-Cory Asbury

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me

And oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
And I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me

There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me

There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
And I couldn't earn it, I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah
Just read it and think about it. God just love you in a way that is beautifully reckless.
imtooawake Nov 2019
Who do you think you are if you believe that you understand me
That you are able to predict my movements
That you can read my mind
That you feel what I feel
That you like what I like
That you hate what I hate
That my life circles around you
That your life is all about me?
Who do you think you are my friend?
Tell me, my moondark one, how come that
our journey remained untraveled;
from mirror to mirror into eternity
our passages were left uncrossed?
For the mirage of shedding a light,
we rather chose to immerse into the outer world
than become one with each other's.
Since when were we this hollow
turning into shallow ones,
who are unfaithful to their dreams?
Tell me, that how come
that the snake is already bitting his own tail
for the circle is full now,
and I still wish to tell our never-ending story?
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